Status: Rewrite. I wrote the first story 6 years ago and now I want to redo it.
I'm Never Better Only Suffering for You Dear
03
“Mack, what happened?” Alex asked, a slight edge to his tone
“Nothing happened Alex, I am a god damn klutz you know this.” I pleaded with my eyes for him to stop
“Don’t fucking lie to me Mackenzie.” He snapped
“Alex dude come one.” Rian, always the level headed one, tried to calm him down
“Now Mackenzie.” I gulped, Alex wasn’t intimidating in the slightest, but at the moment, his eyes staring heavily into mine, caused me to fear the lanky boy, I took a deep breath, ignoring the fact that the door opened again.
“I honestly don’t remember what started last night. I was watching some tv, I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.” I bit my lip looking up at the five boys, and only other girl in the room, sighing I continued “He came in the living room, and before I could move sent a hard kick to my side, I cried out, which he hates when I do that. I don’t know why but it makes him even madder at me, and it started out with a couple slaps after he grabbed me off the floor, some name calling. That I was used to, the names, and slaps.” I shook my head, maybe to try and get the image of Jackson’s pure rage out of my memories “I think I asked him to stop, begged him probably. And his anger, which was getting more intense the longer I begged and cried for him to stop, caused him to lose control. I remember kicking, and fist flying everywhere, I don’t remember much else. It starts to get a little fuzzy.” I looked at them all, and saw an underlining of pity, but mostly I saw rage. Even Rian, my sweet level headed calm boy, was pissed. His knuckles had turned white from him gripping the side of the bed. It was silent as each boy processed what I had told them.
“How long has this been happening Mack?” Alex finally asked, eyes closed, as he clenched and unclenched his fist
“I met Jackson a few months after you all left, and was living with him a month later.”
“And the abuse?”
“Started a month later when I tried to leave. It was verbal at first, a comment about my hair, or the clothes I was wearing, then it was the job I had, and the friends I had. And I tried to leave, and he wouldn’t let me, and he hit me. It was just a slap, and it shocked me. I had never been hit before, not by someone who claimed to love me. And I didn’t know how to respond, I didn’t happen again until a week later when I accidently dropped the plate of food I was carrying to the table.”
“Jesus Mackenzie!” Alex said, pain showing on his face
“Yeah well I didn’t have a lot of options Alex. I don’t have family, and you guys couldn’t even be bothered to pick up a ringing phone. I don’t see a way out Alex. I can’t-” the sound of something crashing against the wall, stopped me mid-sentence. It took a minute to figure out that the sound was my phone hitting the wall, simply breaking in half. I stared at Matt for a whole minute, his chest rising and falling, as he took deep breaths to calm himself.
“What the actual fuck did you just do?” I said, more calm then I actually was
“It looks like it got a quick flight on the Flyzik express and crashed into the wall and then it crash landed on the floor.” Alex said trying to lighten the mood, I stared at Alex for half a second, snapping my eyes back to Matt.
“You realize what you just did?” I asked dumbfounded as to why my phone was now in pieces
“I will buy you a new phone, with a brand new number Mackenzie as soon as we get to California in three days.”
“Where you not listening Matt? I can’t leave. If I try again last night will look like fucking child’s play, and I might not walk away from this one!” I could feel the hysteria rising in my voice as I spoke, the images of what would happen playing in my mind, causing my heart rate monitor to start beeping loudly
“You’re coming Mackenzie. Don’t fucking argue with me.” I was going to argue more, but the hospital started announcing that visiting hours where over, and a nurse walked into my room at the exact moment, smiling at all the people in my room, she walked over to me with a paper cup with several pills in it.
“What are these?” I asked looking at the three pills in the cup
“Well one is the pain medication, to help with the broken ribs, one is an anti-inflammatory, and the last one is your antibiotic to help kill any infection from the-” she looked at the boys around the bed, clearing her throat “from the fall.” She smiled as she nodded at me, and I gave her a small smile as I was thankful she didn’t finish her last word. I wasn’t ready for that to come out
“I know visiting hours are done” I smiled up as her as I swallowed all the pills easily “But do you think one of my friends could stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”
“I don’t see a problem with that.” She smiled, patted my leg as she walked out of the room, I looked around the room, my first choice was Matt but he slipped out while the nurse was handing me my medication
“Alex will you stay with me?” I looked at the boy who used to be like a brother to me
“Sure Kenz I can stay.” He smiled as he nodded and sat down in Matt’s chair, as the other boys said there good byes and left the room.
“Nothing happened Alex, I am a god damn klutz you know this.” I pleaded with my eyes for him to stop
“Don’t fucking lie to me Mackenzie.” He snapped
“Alex dude come one.” Rian, always the level headed one, tried to calm him down
“Now Mackenzie.” I gulped, Alex wasn’t intimidating in the slightest, but at the moment, his eyes staring heavily into mine, caused me to fear the lanky boy, I took a deep breath, ignoring the fact that the door opened again.
“I honestly don’t remember what started last night. I was watching some tv, I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.” I bit my lip looking up at the five boys, and only other girl in the room, sighing I continued “He came in the living room, and before I could move sent a hard kick to my side, I cried out, which he hates when I do that. I don’t know why but it makes him even madder at me, and it started out with a couple slaps after he grabbed me off the floor, some name calling. That I was used to, the names, and slaps.” I shook my head, maybe to try and get the image of Jackson’s pure rage out of my memories “I think I asked him to stop, begged him probably. And his anger, which was getting more intense the longer I begged and cried for him to stop, caused him to lose control. I remember kicking, and fist flying everywhere, I don’t remember much else. It starts to get a little fuzzy.” I looked at them all, and saw an underlining of pity, but mostly I saw rage. Even Rian, my sweet level headed calm boy, was pissed. His knuckles had turned white from him gripping the side of the bed. It was silent as each boy processed what I had told them.
“How long has this been happening Mack?” Alex finally asked, eyes closed, as he clenched and unclenched his fist
“I met Jackson a few months after you all left, and was living with him a month later.”
“And the abuse?”
“Started a month later when I tried to leave. It was verbal at first, a comment about my hair, or the clothes I was wearing, then it was the job I had, and the friends I had. And I tried to leave, and he wouldn’t let me, and he hit me. It was just a slap, and it shocked me. I had never been hit before, not by someone who claimed to love me. And I didn’t know how to respond, I didn’t happen again until a week later when I accidently dropped the plate of food I was carrying to the table.”
“Jesus Mackenzie!” Alex said, pain showing on his face
“Yeah well I didn’t have a lot of options Alex. I don’t have family, and you guys couldn’t even be bothered to pick up a ringing phone. I don’t see a way out Alex. I can’t-” the sound of something crashing against the wall, stopped me mid-sentence. It took a minute to figure out that the sound was my phone hitting the wall, simply breaking in half. I stared at Matt for a whole minute, his chest rising and falling, as he took deep breaths to calm himself.
“What the actual fuck did you just do?” I said, more calm then I actually was
“It looks like it got a quick flight on the Flyzik express and crashed into the wall and then it crash landed on the floor.” Alex said trying to lighten the mood, I stared at Alex for half a second, snapping my eyes back to Matt.
“You realize what you just did?” I asked dumbfounded as to why my phone was now in pieces
“I will buy you a new phone, with a brand new number Mackenzie as soon as we get to California in three days.”
“Where you not listening Matt? I can’t leave. If I try again last night will look like fucking child’s play, and I might not walk away from this one!” I could feel the hysteria rising in my voice as I spoke, the images of what would happen playing in my mind, causing my heart rate monitor to start beeping loudly
“You’re coming Mackenzie. Don’t fucking argue with me.” I was going to argue more, but the hospital started announcing that visiting hours where over, and a nurse walked into my room at the exact moment, smiling at all the people in my room, she walked over to me with a paper cup with several pills in it.
“What are these?” I asked looking at the three pills in the cup
“Well one is the pain medication, to help with the broken ribs, one is an anti-inflammatory, and the last one is your antibiotic to help kill any infection from the-” she looked at the boys around the bed, clearing her throat “from the fall.” She smiled as she nodded at me, and I gave her a small smile as I was thankful she didn’t finish her last word. I wasn’t ready for that to come out
“I know visiting hours are done” I smiled up as her as I swallowed all the pills easily “But do you think one of my friends could stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”
“I don’t see a problem with that.” She smiled, patted my leg as she walked out of the room, I looked around the room, my first choice was Matt but he slipped out while the nurse was handing me my medication
“Alex will you stay with me?” I looked at the boy who used to be like a brother to me
“Sure Kenz I can stay.” He smiled as he nodded and sat down in Matt’s chair, as the other boys said there good byes and left the room.