"You Just Can't Stop Yourself From Lying, Can You?"
Sleep
After a night like that, anyone would be exhausted. Especially with the whole saving the world thing. It was late, everyone had gone home, finally, everyone got to go home.
Steve's bike hadn't been retrieved yet and quite frankly, he didn't have the energy to care, so he decided to stay at Tony's place for the night. Well, after arguing for at least an hour and Tony deciding it wasn't worth the fight anymore. Not because he was going to let Steve win, but because he was just too tired to keep it going. Tony eventually decided he'd let Steve sleep there for the night and make an even bigger deal out of it to everyone tomorrow.
At somewhere around 2am, Tony was in his room sleeping in such a deep sleep you'd think it was the first time he'd slept in months. Steve was in the living room area on a couch that was much more uncomfortable than you'd expect to be in the house of a multi-millionaire, Steve thought. Despite his constant nagging feeling of exhaustion, he couldn't fall asleep between the uncomfortably poor excuse for a sofa and the fact that he was in Tony Stark's living room. Honestly, he couldn't stand the guy most of the time, but right now Steve's main priority was just getting some sleep for christ sake.
He decided to get up off of the brick, or, sofa, and he paced quietly for a few minutes deciding if it was too risky of an idea. After a good five minutes of pacing and mentally preparing himself, he decided that Tony was probably in too deep of a sleep to wake up if someone entered his room and thought that it'd be fine to sleep there since Steve is always awake long before Tony anyway. Nobody would even know. For the record, Steve still can't stand Tony, but sleep is also still Steve's main priority and on this sofa, it'll be something he won't be getting any of.
He decides to, as quietly as possible, creep through the dark house and slowly pushes Tony's door open. Just as he thought, laying there was Tony, in a perfectly sound sleep.
Steve stood aside the door frame for a minute to see how asleep Tony really was. The last thing Steve wanted was to be caught sneaking into Tony Stark's bed at 2:30 in the morning.
Tony looked to be sound asleep, so Steve crept into the room, pulling the door shut quietly behind him. He walked to the other side of the bed from the spot Tony was accompanying and lifted the comforter. He slipped into the bed onto his back and froze when Tony started, fuck his life, moving. Tony made a few small noises and then turned over, now facing Steve, still seeming to be asleep. Steve let out a small sigh of relief, since he'd been holding his breath in fear of Tony waking up. Just when he thought he was out of the possibility, he heard a voice, "wh- what the fuck?"
Tony's small, tired, confused voice rang in Steve's ears, filling his head with fear.
Steve wasn't afraid of Tony, not afraid he'd lash out or do something physically harmful. Steve was never afraid of Tony in that way. Steve and Tony don't particularly get along, and Steve can't say he likes Tony. Well, just maybe, he can't say that. He's not quite sure what he thinks of Tony. Sure, he gets worried about Tony when they're on the field. And maybe he never goes too far in arguments with Tony because he really doesn't want to hurt him. And maybe Tony is absolutely gorgeous when he's laying there asleep, peacefully in his own dreams. Maybe Steve wants to kiss Tony sometimes when they're in the middle of a pointless argument. And-
Interrupted from his own mental unveiling to himself about Tony Stark, the man Steve Rogers thought he hated, Tony spoke up again to the person suddenly laying next to him in his bed, in the middle of his dark room at probably almost 3am.
"Who the- what the fuck." Still half asleep, Steve could hear in Tony's voice.
"Tony," Steve spoke up, full of fear and a hint of regret. "Tony I'm sorry I just."
He was cut off by Tony, "Rogers? What the fuck? What are you doing?"
Tony didn't sound necessarily angry, but confused. Steve was as thankful for this as he was concerned.
"I couldn't sleep on the couch. I- I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I came in here because I just needed to sleep and I guess I wasn't thinking."
Tony stared for a few seconds too long before speaking up, "it- it's okay. You just freaked me out, you know, someone suddenly being in my bed in the middle of the night? What the fuck."
"I'm sorry," Steve started, knowing it's cheesy and stupid but he can't find anything other than 'sorry' to say. "I'm going to leave."
Steve starts to get up and is almost standing when Tony pulls on Steve's arm, taking him by surprise.
"No," Tony says, suddenly. "I- I don't want you to leave. That's ridiculous. You can stay here. You don't have anywhere to go if I let you leave anyway so I doubt you'll get far."
Steve knows that's true and he also knows that it's way too early, or late, to already be detecting a hint of sarcasm in Tony's voice.
"If you let me leave?" Steve scoffs.
"Not what I meant, but either way, you're staying here."
Tony sounds tired and almost desperate, like he doesn't want to worry about Steve not having somewhere to stay tonight. Either that, or he's just tired and is desperate to go back to his peaceful slumber. Steve decides that it's the second one, even though he knows it's probably a mix of the two, he just won't let himself admit that.
"Okay, fine. I'll stay here." Steve responds, and starts to get up to return to the sofa from hell.
"Where are you going?" Tony asks, still sounding a bit desperate.
"To the couch?"
"You don't have to. I mean you can sleep in here.." Tony trails off. "I mean if you want to. You don't have to. But you can."
Steve thinks for a second and is confused, but pushes it a bit aside to realize if he goes back to the living room, he'll be up the rest of the night. He decides to sleep in Tony's room for the night, and gets back into bed on the opposite side of where Tony is.
Tony turns off the small bedside lamp he had turned on when Steve got up the first time, and tries to sleep. They both fall asleep quickly.
Steve wakes up in a different spot than he fell asleep in. He wakes up, wait what? He's cuddled up next to Tony, both facing each other. Tony's arms are around Steve, one under his neck, one over his chest, wrapping around his side. Steve has one arm to himself, pressed against Tony's chest and one around Tony's waist. Their legs are intertwined as well.
Steve looks up to see a digital clock, reading "4:47AM"
Tony seems to be asleep and Steve mentally panics, wondering how this happened and how he's going to detach himself from Tony without waking him up and making Tony hate him forever, more than he does already. After a bit, Steve calms down and actually starts to enjoy the closeness and the safe feeling he has being cuddled next to Tony. He doesn't let himself enjoy it too much, because still, he doesn't even like Tony. He's probably just craving affection.
Steve thinks about it a little more, and a little more, and starts to come to the realization. Maybe him and Tony fight all the time. Maybe Tony is entirely full of himself. Maybe Tony is arrogant and annoying. Maybe Tony is just some self-indulged, asshole alcoholic who only cares about himself. Maybe Steve used to think that.
After spending more time around Tony, Steve realized that none of that was true. He realized that Tony is a genuinely good person who damned himself to hell and thinks he's no good. Steve knows better than that. He knows that Tony has done so much good and Tony doesn't believe it.
Steve realized that over the past few months, he's actually started caring about Tony.
This new realization jolts a bit a panic in Steve once again, because he realizes it's more than that. He cares about Tony. He actually has feelings for Tony.
The panic turns to a depressing feeling, knowing that this can't happen. Steve knows it'll never be possible. He knows that Tony, or anyone for that matter, can't find out or it'd be a bloodbath and Tony would never want to see Steve again. He rarely wants to see him now, only when he's forced to on the field.
Steve pushes Tony off of him, and turns over so he's facing away from him. This sudden movement wakes Tony and he's nothing but confused.
"Steve?" Tony quietly calls out in the dark. He doesn't get a response, so he puts a hand on Steve's arm and says his name again. No response, other than Steve pushing his hand away.
"Steve, what'd I do? Are you awake?"
"Just leave me alone, Stark."
Tony, confused, sits up and pulls on Steve's arm to turn him onto his back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Stark. Go to sleep."
He can barely see in the darkness of the room but it looks like, can it be? Tony is welling up with tears. Steve doesn't understand.
"I'm sorry if I did something." Tony says quietly and now, fuck, Steve can hear it in his voice.
Steve sits up a bit and looks to Tony. "Okay, this makes no sense. Are you crying?"
No response from Tony.
"Tony?"
"Yeah."
Steve is overly concerned and just as confused.
"Why?"
"You really don't see, do you?"
"See what?"
It takes him a few seconds before responding.
"I let you stay here, I let you sleep in my own bed with me for fucks sake," Tony is looking down, a single tear rolling down his face. "And you push me away when I get close. I didn't know. I just hoped you felt like I did."
Steve is lost for a minute before realizing what Tony meant.
"How do you feel?"
Tony sits up on his knees and doesn't hesitate before kissing Steve. It takes Steve by surprise, but after a second he kisses back.
When they pull apart, Tony looks confused and scared.
"Like that." Tony responds.
"I didn't know. I thought you hated me."
"I don't like you, Steve. You're annoying and you act like a perfect little angel and you can't win an argument if your life depended on it," Tony goes on. "But I also happen to love all of those things in you."
Steve actually blushes. "Oh," he doesn't know what to say for a short time. "I feel the same way. I mean, about you."
"Wow thanks," Tony scoffs. "I feel the love."
"Shut up, Stark. Not what I meant."
"Yeah, whatever. Now do you want to go back to sleep before daylight or no?"
Steve doesn't have to think twice before answering yes, on his possible hour or so of sleep.
Steve cuddles into Tony's chest once again, now feeling secure in his feelings knowing that it's mutual. This might have been the best night Steve has had in a while, and he decides it might be the best night for the rest of his life. They both fall asleep intertwined in each other's presence, for once feeling like everything is at peace.
Steve's bike hadn't been retrieved yet and quite frankly, he didn't have the energy to care, so he decided to stay at Tony's place for the night. Well, after arguing for at least an hour and Tony deciding it wasn't worth the fight anymore. Not because he was going to let Steve win, but because he was just too tired to keep it going. Tony eventually decided he'd let Steve sleep there for the night and make an even bigger deal out of it to everyone tomorrow.
At somewhere around 2am, Tony was in his room sleeping in such a deep sleep you'd think it was the first time he'd slept in months. Steve was in the living room area on a couch that was much more uncomfortable than you'd expect to be in the house of a multi-millionaire, Steve thought. Despite his constant nagging feeling of exhaustion, he couldn't fall asleep between the uncomfortably poor excuse for a sofa and the fact that he was in Tony Stark's living room. Honestly, he couldn't stand the guy most of the time, but right now Steve's main priority was just getting some sleep for christ sake.
He decided to get up off of the brick, or, sofa, and he paced quietly for a few minutes deciding if it was too risky of an idea. After a good five minutes of pacing and mentally preparing himself, he decided that Tony was probably in too deep of a sleep to wake up if someone entered his room and thought that it'd be fine to sleep there since Steve is always awake long before Tony anyway. Nobody would even know. For the record, Steve still can't stand Tony, but sleep is also still Steve's main priority and on this sofa, it'll be something he won't be getting any of.
He decides to, as quietly as possible, creep through the dark house and slowly pushes Tony's door open. Just as he thought, laying there was Tony, in a perfectly sound sleep.
Steve stood aside the door frame for a minute to see how asleep Tony really was. The last thing Steve wanted was to be caught sneaking into Tony Stark's bed at 2:30 in the morning.
Tony looked to be sound asleep, so Steve crept into the room, pulling the door shut quietly behind him. He walked to the other side of the bed from the spot Tony was accompanying and lifted the comforter. He slipped into the bed onto his back and froze when Tony started, fuck his life, moving. Tony made a few small noises and then turned over, now facing Steve, still seeming to be asleep. Steve let out a small sigh of relief, since he'd been holding his breath in fear of Tony waking up. Just when he thought he was out of the possibility, he heard a voice, "wh- what the fuck?"
Tony's small, tired, confused voice rang in Steve's ears, filling his head with fear.
Steve wasn't afraid of Tony, not afraid he'd lash out or do something physically harmful. Steve was never afraid of Tony in that way. Steve and Tony don't particularly get along, and Steve can't say he likes Tony. Well, just maybe, he can't say that. He's not quite sure what he thinks of Tony. Sure, he gets worried about Tony when they're on the field. And maybe he never goes too far in arguments with Tony because he really doesn't want to hurt him. And maybe Tony is absolutely gorgeous when he's laying there asleep, peacefully in his own dreams. Maybe Steve wants to kiss Tony sometimes when they're in the middle of a pointless argument. And-
Interrupted from his own mental unveiling to himself about Tony Stark, the man Steve Rogers thought he hated, Tony spoke up again to the person suddenly laying next to him in his bed, in the middle of his dark room at probably almost 3am.
"Who the- what the fuck." Still half asleep, Steve could hear in Tony's voice.
"Tony," Steve spoke up, full of fear and a hint of regret. "Tony I'm sorry I just."
He was cut off by Tony, "Rogers? What the fuck? What are you doing?"
Tony didn't sound necessarily angry, but confused. Steve was as thankful for this as he was concerned.
"I couldn't sleep on the couch. I- I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I came in here because I just needed to sleep and I guess I wasn't thinking."
Tony stared for a few seconds too long before speaking up, "it- it's okay. You just freaked me out, you know, someone suddenly being in my bed in the middle of the night? What the fuck."
"I'm sorry," Steve started, knowing it's cheesy and stupid but he can't find anything other than 'sorry' to say. "I'm going to leave."
Steve starts to get up and is almost standing when Tony pulls on Steve's arm, taking him by surprise.
"No," Tony says, suddenly. "I- I don't want you to leave. That's ridiculous. You can stay here. You don't have anywhere to go if I let you leave anyway so I doubt you'll get far."
Steve knows that's true and he also knows that it's way too early, or late, to already be detecting a hint of sarcasm in Tony's voice.
"If you let me leave?" Steve scoffs.
"Not what I meant, but either way, you're staying here."
Tony sounds tired and almost desperate, like he doesn't want to worry about Steve not having somewhere to stay tonight. Either that, or he's just tired and is desperate to go back to his peaceful slumber. Steve decides that it's the second one, even though he knows it's probably a mix of the two, he just won't let himself admit that.
"Okay, fine. I'll stay here." Steve responds, and starts to get up to return to the sofa from hell.
"Where are you going?" Tony asks, still sounding a bit desperate.
"To the couch?"
"You don't have to. I mean you can sleep in here.." Tony trails off. "I mean if you want to. You don't have to. But you can."
Steve thinks for a second and is confused, but pushes it a bit aside to realize if he goes back to the living room, he'll be up the rest of the night. He decides to sleep in Tony's room for the night, and gets back into bed on the opposite side of where Tony is.
Tony turns off the small bedside lamp he had turned on when Steve got up the first time, and tries to sleep. They both fall asleep quickly.
Steve wakes up in a different spot than he fell asleep in. He wakes up, wait what? He's cuddled up next to Tony, both facing each other. Tony's arms are around Steve, one under his neck, one over his chest, wrapping around his side. Steve has one arm to himself, pressed against Tony's chest and one around Tony's waist. Their legs are intertwined as well.
Steve looks up to see a digital clock, reading "4:47AM"
Tony seems to be asleep and Steve mentally panics, wondering how this happened and how he's going to detach himself from Tony without waking him up and making Tony hate him forever, more than he does already. After a bit, Steve calms down and actually starts to enjoy the closeness and the safe feeling he has being cuddled next to Tony. He doesn't let himself enjoy it too much, because still, he doesn't even like Tony. He's probably just craving affection.
Steve thinks about it a little more, and a little more, and starts to come to the realization. Maybe him and Tony fight all the time. Maybe Tony is entirely full of himself. Maybe Tony is arrogant and annoying. Maybe Tony is just some self-indulged, asshole alcoholic who only cares about himself. Maybe Steve used to think that.
After spending more time around Tony, Steve realized that none of that was true. He realized that Tony is a genuinely good person who damned himself to hell and thinks he's no good. Steve knows better than that. He knows that Tony has done so much good and Tony doesn't believe it.
Steve realized that over the past few months, he's actually started caring about Tony.
This new realization jolts a bit a panic in Steve once again, because he realizes it's more than that. He cares about Tony. He actually has feelings for Tony.
The panic turns to a depressing feeling, knowing that this can't happen. Steve knows it'll never be possible. He knows that Tony, or anyone for that matter, can't find out or it'd be a bloodbath and Tony would never want to see Steve again. He rarely wants to see him now, only when he's forced to on the field.
Steve pushes Tony off of him, and turns over so he's facing away from him. This sudden movement wakes Tony and he's nothing but confused.
"Steve?" Tony quietly calls out in the dark. He doesn't get a response, so he puts a hand on Steve's arm and says his name again. No response, other than Steve pushing his hand away.
"Steve, what'd I do? Are you awake?"
"Just leave me alone, Stark."
Tony, confused, sits up and pulls on Steve's arm to turn him onto his back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Stark. Go to sleep."
He can barely see in the darkness of the room but it looks like, can it be? Tony is welling up with tears. Steve doesn't understand.
"I'm sorry if I did something." Tony says quietly and now, fuck, Steve can hear it in his voice.
Steve sits up a bit and looks to Tony. "Okay, this makes no sense. Are you crying?"
No response from Tony.
"Tony?"
"Yeah."
Steve is overly concerned and just as confused.
"Why?"
"You really don't see, do you?"
"See what?"
It takes him a few seconds before responding.
"I let you stay here, I let you sleep in my own bed with me for fucks sake," Tony is looking down, a single tear rolling down his face. "And you push me away when I get close. I didn't know. I just hoped you felt like I did."
Steve is lost for a minute before realizing what Tony meant.
"How do you feel?"
Tony sits up on his knees and doesn't hesitate before kissing Steve. It takes Steve by surprise, but after a second he kisses back.
When they pull apart, Tony looks confused and scared.
"Like that." Tony responds.
"I didn't know. I thought you hated me."
"I don't like you, Steve. You're annoying and you act like a perfect little angel and you can't win an argument if your life depended on it," Tony goes on. "But I also happen to love all of those things in you."
Steve actually blushes. "Oh," he doesn't know what to say for a short time. "I feel the same way. I mean, about you."
"Wow thanks," Tony scoffs. "I feel the love."
"Shut up, Stark. Not what I meant."
"Yeah, whatever. Now do you want to go back to sleep before daylight or no?"
Steve doesn't have to think twice before answering yes, on his possible hour or so of sleep.
Steve cuddles into Tony's chest once again, now feeling secure in his feelings knowing that it's mutual. This might have been the best night Steve has had in a while, and he decides it might be the best night for the rest of his life. They both fall asleep intertwined in each other's presence, for once feeling like everything is at peace.
♠ ♠ ♠
Don't blame me for this sucking.