Dolce Vita

October 2014

Roman had been back in Nashville for over two months, he had spent the summer with his family at home after finally deciding he was ready for that. In the months he had been home in Nashville he had packed up his apartment and moved into a new place closer to the arena, he found no matter how much he tried he just couldn't stay there anymore, and he had even spent a weekend with Kim back in Knoxville with Sloane's family that didn't feel forced or uncomfortable. He also kept in close contact with her brother Austin and her step father William. Things were finally starting to look up for him.

Still, there was one last thing he felt he needed to address; his teammates. He had spent his time away from Nashville with little to no communication with them at all and things were still as odd and awkward as they had been before he left and he needed to address that. Which was why after practice he had kept them all late to tell them the could stop skirting around him and acting like he was going to fall apart if they even asked him how he was. Everyone seemed to relax a bit after that, and Roman was able to leave the arena finally feeling like things were starting to go back to as normal as they could.

Normal was why he was sitting in a booth in a diner with James, a new teammate Roman was beginning to consider a close friend, waiting for Seth and Kim. It surprised his three guests when he asked if they wanted to go for lunch but they all seemed genuinely glad for the invite. He hadn't seen Kim since leaving Nashville at the beginning of the summer, though Seth had assured him that she was doing much better.

His attention was brought back to the door as it chimed and Seth and Kim walked into the diner, both of them laughing. He took a moment to really look at Kim, to see if she was any different. The first thing that he noticed was that she stopped dying her hair, it was now a strawberry blonde instead of the bright red he was so used to. Other than that she hadn't changed much, if anything she just looked healthy and happy. Something that made Roman incredibly happy to see.

She took a seat beside him and reached out, wrapping one arm around him in a sideways hug before she said, "It's good to see you."

"You too."

As everyone started up conversations Roman watched Kim and Seth interact, he made note of the way she looked at him and the arm that was stretched across the back of the booth around her shoulders. He wondered when that had happened, if it was a new thing or if he really had been so absorbed in his own life that he had just never noticed it before.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when their waitress came to take their orders, and with their orders taken Kim glanced at him and asked, "Fresh air?"

Seth got out of the booth to let them out, and Roman followed Kim outside to the parking lot. They walked side by side for a few moments in silence, circling the building in search for a bench to sit on. Finally Roman got the courage to ask, "So you and Seth?"

Kim flushed and looked down, "Yeah…"

"Sorry. Not my business." He was quick to tell her.

She looked up at him and shook her head, "No it's fine. I just… he's been really good to me through all of this."

"I'm glad. I was kind of useless for a while." Roman stated with a chuckle.

"You needed to deal with things yourself. I get that." Kim told him with a nod of her head. She tucked her hair behind her ear and said, "I don't think I could have gotten through this without either of you."

Roman smiled gently at this and then asked her, "He treats you well?"

Kim nodded, "He does. He makes me really happy."

"Good."

After a few silent seconds she started to laugh and Roman raised his eyebrow at her in both confusion and curiosity. Once she calmed down she told him, "Sloane was right."

"About?"

"She told me that I'd find someone that would make me wonder why I gave up on looking for that." Kim told him, and Roman smiled. That sounded like something Sloane would say.

"And Seth does that?" He asked curiously. After everything that happened he thought of Kim as something of a sister now and he found he had this need to protect her, despite knowing Seth would never do anything to hurt her.

Kim nodded and told him, "He really does. I was a little skeptical at first with dating Colin's teammate and I didn't want to throw myself into a relationship after everything happened but now it feels right. I don't think I've had someone make me this happy in a really long time."

Roman grinned widely at her and told her, "You really have no idea how happy I am to hear that."

"What about you?" Kim asked him curiously. She had been trying to figure out how to approach this subject for a long time but never had the guts to do so until now. When Roman looked at her and cocked and eyebrow she told him softly, "It's okay to move on."

"I'm okay with being by myself Kim."

She sighed and told him, "You have to move on at some point Roman. If not for yourself then for Sloane because she would want you to."

"I know. I'm just not sure…" He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

"You're gonna miss her for the rest of your life Roman. Don't torture yourself by being alone." Kim told him softly, slipping her hand into his to give it a squeeze before adding, "You deserve to happy."

It wasn't until hours later when he was home in his new apartment, shared with another teammate, that Roman gave thought to Kim's words. He knew he wasn't ready to move on in that way, even nearly a year later, but there was no time line for this and he was okay with that. He meant it when he said he was okay with being alone, maybe not forever but right now he was okay with being on his own.

He had never understood when people said that they found their soul mate and weren't looking for another after they died but he understood that now in ways he often wished he didn't. He wasn't sure about dating, there were so many things that could change if he did so. On one hand he was afraid of the simple things like forgetting the way Sloane laughed or the sound of her voice which held him back from moving on but on the other hand he didn't think it was fair to date anyone right now. Would he always be comparing them? Would he feel more for someone new than he did for Sloane and was that okay? He hadn't given this much thought until his brother had mentioned it during his last week at home, and it had been on his mind quite a bit since.

He pondered this as he took a seat on the edge of his bed, and he glanced at his nightstand where beside a picture of he and Sloane sat a little pink, beat up bible. The first page held her name and '1995' on it in red pen. It had been a gift from Sloane's parents when he got back to Nashville and it had sat on his bedside table since.

He wasn't sure why but that little pink book gave him more comfort than anything he had ever felt before. Maybe it was the knowledge that Sloane had stored it carefully in the nightstand beside her bed growing up, or maybe it was just that it was something of hers that didn't bring up so many memories like everything he had so carefully packed up months ago. Whatever it was he was glad he had it for those rare nights when things were hard.

But Roman knew that Kim was right; he did deserve to be happy but right now happy was being by himself. At least for a little while longer.