The Stars in Your Sky Aren't the Same Stars in My Sky

His jaw dropped and he just stared at me.

"Anyways, let's do our usual party trick and we can do parade of ashes..." I pulled on Real Bad's arm and he quickly snapped out of it and helped me down.

"One holy shit, two holy shit." I avert my eyes from JJ and Alex.

"Why the fuck are you not playing drums?" I tilted my head to one side.

"Because I have two broken ribs and a sprained ankle?"

"Show boating fool." Ryan reprimanded me.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous a broken stick is?" I glared at Ryan.

"You had an extreme situation. I was safe and fine. My side and my foot hurt but that's it."

They all continued to reprimand me as we dispersed into the dressing rooms. What I didn't expect was Nikki to pull me to the side.

"How could you do something so irresponsible?" My jaw dropped as I stared at him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He shook his head.

"You were just telling us that we need to save money and not fuck around, so you fuck around and make it so you can hurt yourself even more and on top of it damage Christian's gear? I'm so disappointed in you..."

"Nik, come off it dude. It was an accident and we have always had a back up. That China was almost 7 years old...."

"That's besides the point. She knows-"

"Yeah I know better, and you know better, We all know better!" I screamed.

"How fucking dare you try and put me through this after the last ten years. I do one thing, something you yourself have done, and you come after me for it. And right before the set none the less. Fuck you Nikki maybe you need to sit this one out." He scoffed.

"You can't make me leave, and that's irrational of you." I shrugged.

"Fine Nikki, then you can kiss my ass as I hobble out the door." I flipped him off and left the dressing room with everyone from several bands staring at me.

"Jax come on. Go to your corner and don't walk off." Christian came up behind me and grabbed my shoulder.

"This is fucking maddening. I get that you guys need a fucking break but I'm the one that's going to be stuck here making sure it all works out while you go home. I've been on the road with one 1-2 day break per tour for almost 8 months straight and I'm about the continue on for another three. I will literally be on the road for a full year at this point for and with you guys. If I want to have some fun every once in awhile to try and make it through this life then I very well fucking will. And until you guys see that you don't get to comment on anything. I'm changing your flights so you're out of here the second the show is over tomorrow and I don't want to hear from you until I see you at the venue at noon on the first day of tour. Don't try and apologize to me either. I'll be back in time for the set." With that I turned and walked away.

I couldn't believe what he had just said to me. I backed up to open the door and saw Real Bad reaching out to grab it.

"Where's the handicap doors when you need them." He chuckled but I just glared at him.

"Oh what,you like to crack jokes in a serious situation, but I can't?" that made me smirk a little bit.

"There we go." I chuckled as we made it outside.

"Where are you going?" He followed me as I walked towards the line up kids about to go in.

Sure enough as my eyes scanned the line, I saw a group of 4 or 5 kids trying to smoke whatever pot they had brought with them.

"Hey can I get a hit?" They looked at me weird but passed the joint anyways. I passed it back while holding it in.

"I didn't take you for a smoker." I smirked I motioned him closer to me.

I took him by surprise when I grabbed his chin and kissed him, exhaling the smoke into his mouth before pulling away. He just stared at me and breathed it in.

"Yo you can't do that if we're just gonna be friends." I chuckled at his flustered expression. The kids chuckled behind me as well.

"You've physically been inside of me, don't act like a 15 year old about to blow. It was just a kiss." I wiggled past him and back to the back door where I sat on the ledge.

"Ya know if you wanted some you could've asked." I shrugged.

"I didn't know if you would or not. Those kids weren't going to finish anyways." I took out my phone and looked at something I hadn't in awhile. My social media accounts.

"Take a stupid picture with me, I gained over 40k followers on Instagram and haven't posted since before Warped." He chuckled but obliged.

"So what just happened in there?" I shrugged.

"Honestly it's just everyone being done with being this close to each other. I've been on the road for so long and the guys have too. We all need a break."

"So what are you going to do?" I shifted my weight against the wall.

"I have to keep going. I'll take Christmas off and that'll be good enough for me. They'll have two weeks off after this and then be fine as well. Honestly, I think it's just them ignoring what today is." I looked at my phone to check the date.

"It's Jake's birthday."

He hummed in response.

"What does that mean?" I shrugged.

"I know that Andrew was pretty upset that we had to leave him behind...." Andrew had been off since coming back from being with him. I was the only person that had seen Jake since we left him at the treatment facility. The boys weren't going to bring it up to me after I nearly had a meltdown thinking it was my fault. Accept now I knew it was my fault.

"Are you guys going to call him?" I shook my head.

"He forgets too and the boys will be home in four days. They'll do something for him." I looked down at my hands and started to think.

With everything that's been going on, Jake had been pushed to the back of my mind. Real Bad had been here and it scared me that I was going to get to close to him. But was that really saying no to Jake? No, I just needed to clear my mind and I couldn't do that alone without someone there to keep me grounded. I needed to send Jake that message without actually talking to him and I knew just how to do it.

"You and Jake really are that close aren't you?" He took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

"We've been best friends for over a decade. It's weird because until recently he would've been in your position." He faltered a bit at my admission.

"Is that supposed to say something?" I shrugged. Before he could respond the door opened.

"Hey we're on in 10" I gave Mikey a nod before he went back inside.

"Come watch me nearly die, probably fall again, and cough my way through the set." He chuckled and flicked the cigarette to hold the door open for me.

"Just no repeats of Adelaide, ok?" I nodded to him as I passed into the hallway. The boys were on side stage getting ready to go on. I stood on both legs and placed my crutches against the wall before slowly making my way over to them.

"You need those..." I shrugged to Christian.

"I'm just gonna need a head start whenever I move." He held his arm out for me to lean on.

"Setlist?" They asked looking at me.

"I think I can get away with Mobile Bones, then True Friends, Break In, Drown, Jake's song, and end with Throne since we have a much smaller set time today." They kinda of looked at me questioningly.

Before they asked me to clarify, I was already having an issue walking. I couldn't put a ton of weight on my ankle. I hobbled back to my crutches and Real Bad.

"Change your mind?" I shook my head.

"Thinking outside of the box." I motioned for him to get the door and I crutched as fast as I could to Amity's dressing room. When I burst through the door I saw that Bel and Casey where here. I smiled and waved before making my way to Ahren.

"Aren't you supposed to be on stage?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I'll get there, can I borrow your skateboard?" He looked at Casey.

"I guess." He pointed back behind me where it was leaning next to the very door I had just come through.

"Thanks. Come watch?" He shrugged.

'That depends, are you going to traumatize us like you did JJ?" Dan asked with a chuckle.

"I mean, I think I've already done that?" Joel was the one that nodded.

"Exactly," We heard the intro start for my guys," Impatient mother fuckers." I switched the board and my crutches.

"Go get the door." Real Bad went and got the stage door for me while I got a running, definitely a crippled run, start and dropped the board.

James was there with the microphone for me, which I grabbed I skated past. Of course with my luck I hit a ditch in the stage halfway across and went head over heels. I heard Mikey stop playing and he was by my side. I waved him off and just laid there doing all the parts for our first song. Partially because I was embarrassed that I had done that and partially to get a feel for what was wrong. My ankle was done. I was almost a hundred percent sure it was in fact broken now. Luckily, my ribs were fine though.

"Now that's what I call a grand entrance." I smirked while I sat up. The crowd cheered as I gave a thumbs up. I tried to stand and managed to hop over to the keys.

I introduced True friends and started the intro. It was hard to play since my pedal foot was where my ankle was messed up. Luckily James noticed that and brought me a chair after the song.

"Never hurts to have a cripple on the team." Mikey joked into the microphone.

"It's very true Michael, well now that that's out of the way." I took a drink of water.

"I'm Nikki, my guitarist counterpart over there is Mikey. Andrew on bass, Christian on drums, and cripple on keys and vocals." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm Jax." I waved again before cracking my neck and getting ready to play the next song.

"I can tell we have some fans out there, but for those of you that don't know. I've only been with this band as the vocalist for about two months now. What you just heard is one of the songs off the album we have coming out this Winter. I'd love to play some more songs from our back catalogue for you, but I took a tumble on stage a few days ago and actually broke some of my ribs. It's kinda hard for me to do certain vocal styles right now." I looked over side stage to see who was there.

"Because of that I actually have a song for you guys. It's called Break In and it goes out to Tyler, Michael, and JJ for taking over for me a few days ago in Melbourne. If you've tagged your pictures today as #LetTheOceanTakeMeTour on social media or if you've been a fan of us for awhile I've got a treat for you."

I started the keys and as I suspected the kids were excited as their pictures started popping up on the video screens behind me. I was more surprised at the amount of kids that pulled lighters out after the first few lines of the song. To say that moment in time wasn't emotional would have been a lie. I poured my heart into the song, but my mind put someone very specific into my head as the words left my mouth. Behind me I heard some slight movement and the acoustic guitar joined in. Nikki was the only one that knew this song. I couldn't help it as the tears spilled over. As the song ended I gave them the sign to run into Drown. Christian counted us in and we played through it. These songs didn't really match but I didn't care. This was the most emotional show I had ever been apart of. Standing to get the acoustic so I could play Jake's song was also maddening. Luckily, James met me halfway.

"I promise this is the last time I'll get sappy on you." I chuckled into the mic as I got the guitar situated.

"So like I said, I've only been apart of this band for two months. Before that, I was their Tour manager, and before that I sat where Christian sits behind the drums. We've all been friends for over ten years and I don't know what I would do without the 6 guys behind and in front of me. James our tech and Mark our photographer included." I took the mic stand and walked it to the edge of the stage.

"I'm gonna sit down." James rushed on stage and helped me sit on the edge of the stage and position the microphone stand to my height.

"Now, The man that had my position before I was here. His name is Jake Romero. He is currently back home in Arizona trying to find his way back from some difficult things. It's also Jake's birthday. In 2009, Jake brought me a song with no lyrics and said 'I want this to be meaningful and I want everyone to know why.'" My eyes started to tear up again.

"This song is about Jake and this song is for Jake, It's called Left You Behind."

I led in on the acoustic, the boys surely didn't remember the song because I had finished it one day while I was on tour with ADTR.

"There's a story of a young man
who was taken from his home.
He missed his sister become a women
and his father growing old.
From the distance he watched his mother,
mourn a loss, all alone.
And when he thinks about his brother,
he can't seem to find the phone." I sang while playing by myself. The rhythm guitar kicked in and I looked to myself to see Nikki playing along with me.

"he can't seem to find the phone.," I smiled as Mikey, Nikki, and Andrew did their best to provide back up vocals,"
From the window of his life, he can see his home.
As he passes by he feels a pain that no one knows.
Past every better judgement, he packs his things to run away.
Like an ocean distances a beast that can't be tamed..." When Christian, Mikey, and Andrew came in on their instruments it sounded amazing. Mikey started the kids with some side to side arm waving and I saw Mark getting amazing photos and video.

There were a few repetitions of group vocals, thankfully the guys remembered, before the next lines. I had to work to hit the notes in my condition.

"Now the young man roams the globe
searching for the very thing he left at home.
He searched far and wide, under every stone,
the more he walked the more he was alone.
This young man is a lot like me,
except he learned from those mistakes he made.
If I don't slow down I might break," It ended with a brutal at the time scream, and the guys fully had the chorus down to come back in.

"From the window of my life I can see home.
As it passes by I feel a pain no one knows.
Past every better judgement I pack my things to run away.
Like an ocean distances a beast that can't be tamed...
Wooh, wooh, ooh...
I left you behind!" I barely got the last lines out as the crowd cheered.

Mikey came over and helped me up and back to the keys.

"We miss you Jake. Thank you guys for showing up early and watching us. This is our last song it's called Throne."

We finished strong and James brought me my crutches as he walked on stage to clear gear.

"Skateboard didn't work out as planned did it?" Ahren chuckled as I popped up next to them.

"No, it didn't. I destroyed my ankle."

"Well don't do it again." Ryan awkwardly added to the conversation.

"Thanks for the wise words of wisdom." I chuckled.

"Are you going to record that song?" Joel asked.

"Which one?" Jake's song of course is what he referred to.

"Probably not."

"Why not? It's a fantastic song...." I sighed to Dan.

"It doesn't fit at all. All of our songs for the album are so different." They all seemed to agree, but it had my mind spinning. I had an idea, but it was going to be difficult.

They all went back to their dressing room, with the guys behind them after the stage was clear. I stayed behind to watch Deez Nuts today. Matt had watched me everyday and I had only seen him once. Part of me felt really bad, and I knew I could make up for it by watching him tonight and tomorrow. Their set was amazing. It was a different style of music, but I really loved it. He came over to me with a smile on his face.

"Like what you see princess?" I smirked.

"Maybe a little something." He chuckled and held the door open for me. We both walked through the hall way and out the backdoor. He immediately pulled out his cigarettes.

"So, Jake's song...." He questioned as I carefully hopped up on the ledge to sit down.

"What about it?" He shrugged as he took a drag.

"That was a really good. You should record it." I shrugged.

"I actually had an idea, but it's pretty out there." He waited for me to continue.

"Doing more than one album. We'll release this one we've been working on as my album and then one for each of the guys. Jake's would be pretty hardcore. Andrew would be pop punk. Christian would be a metal album. Nikki and Mikey would probably have a joint prog album." He chortled.

"Listen, Princess, I don't think that's possible."

"Why not? It's pretty much done already."

"How can it already be done? Your album isn't even done yet?"

"The guys have always written on their own. Flyer just tours so much that they don't have time to record albums solo. I probably have well over a hundred songs from what they've sent me. It's just a matter of rerecording it all." He kinda of just looked me over.

"You don't like to take it easy do you?" I laughed.

"Never, easy is boring."

We spent the rest of the night outside while he asked me about the songs and I showed him anything I had on my phone. I decided not to tell the guys about my plan to use the things they've sent me in the past and what we wouldn't use from this first album. When it came time to leave I realized that I was going into the last show of my first Australian tour. My dreams literally had come true as I had been to two of the places I had always wanted to be and I was here with everyone but my best friend. It was sad but it was different for me as well. The next night when Joel asked the vocalists from each of the other bands to come to a song with them I said yes of course. Our set was nothing special, but it was incredible to come up and do Greens Avenue with them. Afterwards, Pees, their photo and media guy, got everyone one stage for an end of tour photo. One regular group shot and then my guys pulled the "Let's do a silly one!" game. Mikey jumped into Nikki's arms bridal style with Christian and Andrew hard styled in front of them. JJ and Alex ripped their shirts off. Tyler and Scout from Issues were in an awkward almost kiss pose in front of them with everyone from their bands staring at them with shocked faces. Half of Amity laid down in front of all of this with their heads in their hands making dreamy faces while Joel and Dan stole my crutches to sword fight. Then Real Bad surprised me by throwing me on his shoulders. The photo was gold. It was still sad for me. Everyone was at a hotel that night since Amity had their girlfriends and everyone was flying out the next day.

"This is fucking surreal." I frowned as we were waiting for the vans that night.

"Well you're going to be here for two more weeks." Casey smiled at me. Ahren had his arm firmly around her waist.

"Yeah, but this was my first Australia tour. Like it happened and I fucked up and made friends again." There were a couple of awes and I was suddenly wrapped in a huge bear huge from everyone.

"Well you're stuck with us until Christmas." I chuckled at Ahren.

"Well that's good and the hugs are great but it's getting too hot." Everyone broke off and the good byes were said. Real Bad was coming back to Ahren's house. Issues left immediately for the airport and my guys were going to the hotel with Ryan, Amy, Dan, and his girlfriend that I hadn't met yet. I decided to go with them and try and get them anything else they had been working on without telling them why.

"So here's to a successful first independent tour?" Mikey held his beer out for everyone to toast, me with my water bottle due to the pain meds.

"It was really successful. I never saw or met that merch dude but our sales were off the charts..." Nikki was looking over the very forms I usually did, but he already said I wouldn't be doing that ever again for them.

"That's great, but even though we did so well, the next tour really should be with Mark on merch. Sorry buddy." He shrugged.

"It was fun doing just photo and video for a tour. Speaking of which. I left the go pros up in the studio. Do you mind if I have them on whenever you're there?" I nodded.

"Of course."

"And skyping with me so I can ask some questions through the process?" I gave him a thumbs up.

"I'm actually gonna throw up the first update video when we get home if that's ok?" We all gave him the go ahead. I decided that now would be the best time to bring up asking for more material.

"So I was going through everything we had and I'm still missing some stuff." They all groaned.

"We aren't going to have to stay are we?" I chuckled at Andrew.

"Nah man, I know you all write in your spare time though. If you could send me what ever you have been writing that would be great. I don't care about style or genre or whatever because they're going to be fillers unless something jumps out at me." The all quickly agreed, clearly just happy they didn't have to stay behind.

"I'm gonna go to sleep then. Remember you guys have to leave at 8 alright?"