Status: Currently writing
The Stars in Your Sky Aren't the Same Stars in My Sky
Open Mind
"The label threatened to drop you guys if they didn't replace you...." Jake looked down at the table.
"I mean whatever keeps the band going I guess..." I was certainly shocked by his even temperament as I started telling him the full story.
His face changed as I told him each part from Andy's attempt to piss me off by giving me an ungodly dress to wear, to the threats he made to the guys and me. I even ended up telling him about my personal life through the summer, including Vinny's basically marriage proposal. He asked about my cast and I told him about me and Bryce beating the shit out of each other, which prompted him to ask if he could come with me to the doctor today.
"I mean if you want, it's just going to be them cutting the cast off and probably taking more xrays. Pretty boring." I chuckled.
"Well I want to spend time with you before you go I guess." He stood and went to get dressed.
I was starting to warm up to him again, despite how anxious I was last night. Hopefully we could try and get back to normal.
Two hours later, we were both sitting in the doctor's office admiring the tan line that formed from the cast on my arm this summer. I sent a picture into the group chat and the guys had a good laugh about it.
"Did you wear sunscreen?" The doctor asked.
"Well yeah, but I guess not enough. Anyways, am I clear doc?" He looked over the xrays they took when I first arrived.
"I'm afraid not entirely," He put the chest xray up on the lightboard, " There's an unhealed fracture in the same location as your original rib injury. Have you been a little rough lately?" I shook my head.
"No, I'm usually pretty good about keeping calm. What do we do?"
"Well, There really isn't anything to do about that kind of injury." He turned the board off and placed the x rays back in the manila folder.
"Just try and take it easy I suppose, other than that you are good to go."
Jake and I went back to the house, where he insisted on making lunch while I was repacking my bag.
"What time is your flight tomorrow?" He asked from the kitchen while I was in the living room folding clothes.
"8 out of San Diego. I'm driving the van there so we don't have to come back for it for the second tour. I'll probably leave around 8 or 9 in the morning." He didn't respond after that, but I heard the oven open and figured he was finishing our food.
"I'll pack you a lunch then." He smiled at me over the counter.
"When did you turn into Betty Crocker?" I laughed.
"I just picked on some things since I've been home alone. Don't test me, I only know how to cook like three things." I finished zipping up my suitcase and walked into the kitchen
"Oh." There was a full spread of what looked like some kind of veggie only dish. It looked lovely and I was surprised that he had done so much work for just a lunch.
"Yeah, it's too much isn't it?" He apologized profusely.
"No, no, it's great," I smiled at him," let's eat." We sat on the counter and ate directly from the dish. Something we did frequently before and it made me miss the old times when there wasn't any tension. He noticed it too.
"I miss this." He dropped his fork into the dish and looked at me.
"Me too. I'm scared though..." My fork dropped next to his and I made eye contact with him.
"Scared?" My breathing stopped for a second.
"You said a lot of really hurtful things last time we spoke... It hurt me really bad Jake..." He sighed, but reached over and grabbed my hands.
"I'm so sorry for the Jax.... I was just hurting and I turned to the wrong things... I would take it all back if I could..." He rubbed his thumbs over the back of my hands.
"If you had a problem why didn't you come to me? I always helped you no matter what the issue..." He let go of my hands at that moment and began cleaning up.
"Jake, I can't help you if I don't know what the issue is an you know that..."He sighed and turned back to me.
"Look,I remember the first day I met you. That day at school the guys wanted to know why I brought a 'child' into the group." He chuckled and hopped back up on the counter in front of me.
"What does-" He put his hand up, index finger up asking for "one minute."
"You just had this pep in your step and after everyone got to know you, I knew you'd be around for awhile. Sure enough the band kept us together," he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand,"and apart. That night you left for your first Warped tour and we left for the Alesana tour... I did something kinda similar to this." He stopped to motion to the food remnants as he paused. When the pause lasted longer than a minute I interjected.
"Jake I'm not really following what you're trying to say..." He chuckled as he hopped off the counter. He came and stood right in front of me, between my legs and grabbed my hands again.
"Jax, I want you to really think about what I'm going to tell you ok? I want you to promise you'll keep an open mind because I think that somewhere, deep down inside, you feel the same way..." I nodded before he would continue.
"That night I was going to tell you that I found this person that I really liked, loved even. Then you decided to leave early and I never got to tell you. It wasn't really a problem at the time because I thought the feelings would go away, but they never did..." He smiled at me before continuing.
"When I saw you with Vinny this summer...I lost it..." That's when I started connecting the dots on what he was trying to tell me.
"Jake, no-"
"I started drinking and that girl I was with the first day brought some drugs to the bus we were on. I tried them and the next morning I realized I wasn't depressed about not being with the person I loved. But I lost control and lost them anyways..." I felt the tear land on our conjoined hands before I saw him crying.
"Abigail Amelia Ajax...I love you and I never told you because I was scared. I'm so sorry."
My face went blank and my mind started going off on different tangents of what this meant. What was going to happen. I sure as hell wasn't prepared for him to place his hands on either side of my face. His eyes were lit up like they used to be when I looked this time. He looked like the Jake I knew and loved. This feeling bubbled up from my stomach and before I knew what was going on he kissed me. I didn't push him away though. For some reason this felt right.
My arms went up around his neck and his dropped down to my waist. He pulled away after a minute and just stared me in the eyes with a large smile on his face. Mine surely didn't mimic his though. My arms dropped quickly and my mouth dropped open.
"I mean whatever keeps the band going I guess..." I was certainly shocked by his even temperament as I started telling him the full story.
His face changed as I told him each part from Andy's attempt to piss me off by giving me an ungodly dress to wear, to the threats he made to the guys and me. I even ended up telling him about my personal life through the summer, including Vinny's basically marriage proposal. He asked about my cast and I told him about me and Bryce beating the shit out of each other, which prompted him to ask if he could come with me to the doctor today.
"I mean if you want, it's just going to be them cutting the cast off and probably taking more xrays. Pretty boring." I chuckled.
"Well I want to spend time with you before you go I guess." He stood and went to get dressed.
I was starting to warm up to him again, despite how anxious I was last night. Hopefully we could try and get back to normal.
Two hours later, we were both sitting in the doctor's office admiring the tan line that formed from the cast on my arm this summer. I sent a picture into the group chat and the guys had a good laugh about it.
"Did you wear sunscreen?" The doctor asked.
"Well yeah, but I guess not enough. Anyways, am I clear doc?" He looked over the xrays they took when I first arrived.
"I'm afraid not entirely," He put the chest xray up on the lightboard, " There's an unhealed fracture in the same location as your original rib injury. Have you been a little rough lately?" I shook my head.
"No, I'm usually pretty good about keeping calm. What do we do?"
"Well, There really isn't anything to do about that kind of injury." He turned the board off and placed the x rays back in the manila folder.
"Just try and take it easy I suppose, other than that you are good to go."
Jake and I went back to the house, where he insisted on making lunch while I was repacking my bag.
"What time is your flight tomorrow?" He asked from the kitchen while I was in the living room folding clothes.
"8 out of San Diego. I'm driving the van there so we don't have to come back for it for the second tour. I'll probably leave around 8 or 9 in the morning." He didn't respond after that, but I heard the oven open and figured he was finishing our food.
"I'll pack you a lunch then." He smiled at me over the counter.
"When did you turn into Betty Crocker?" I laughed.
"I just picked on some things since I've been home alone. Don't test me, I only know how to cook like three things." I finished zipping up my suitcase and walked into the kitchen
"Oh." There was a full spread of what looked like some kind of veggie only dish. It looked lovely and I was surprised that he had done so much work for just a lunch.
"Yeah, it's too much isn't it?" He apologized profusely.
"No, no, it's great," I smiled at him," let's eat." We sat on the counter and ate directly from the dish. Something we did frequently before and it made me miss the old times when there wasn't any tension. He noticed it too.
"I miss this." He dropped his fork into the dish and looked at me.
"Me too. I'm scared though..." My fork dropped next to his and I made eye contact with him.
"Scared?" My breathing stopped for a second.
"You said a lot of really hurtful things last time we spoke... It hurt me really bad Jake..." He sighed, but reached over and grabbed my hands.
"I'm so sorry for the Jax.... I was just hurting and I turned to the wrong things... I would take it all back if I could..." He rubbed his thumbs over the back of my hands.
"If you had a problem why didn't you come to me? I always helped you no matter what the issue..." He let go of my hands at that moment and began cleaning up.
"Jake, I can't help you if I don't know what the issue is an you know that..."He sighed and turned back to me.
"Look,I remember the first day I met you. That day at school the guys wanted to know why I brought a 'child' into the group." He chuckled and hopped back up on the counter in front of me.
"What does-" He put his hand up, index finger up asking for "one minute."
"You just had this pep in your step and after everyone got to know you, I knew you'd be around for awhile. Sure enough the band kept us together," he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand,"and apart. That night you left for your first Warped tour and we left for the Alesana tour... I did something kinda similar to this." He stopped to motion to the food remnants as he paused. When the pause lasted longer than a minute I interjected.
"Jake I'm not really following what you're trying to say..." He chuckled as he hopped off the counter. He came and stood right in front of me, between my legs and grabbed my hands again.
"Jax, I want you to really think about what I'm going to tell you ok? I want you to promise you'll keep an open mind because I think that somewhere, deep down inside, you feel the same way..." I nodded before he would continue.
"That night I was going to tell you that I found this person that I really liked, loved even. Then you decided to leave early and I never got to tell you. It wasn't really a problem at the time because I thought the feelings would go away, but they never did..." He smiled at me before continuing.
"When I saw you with Vinny this summer...I lost it..." That's when I started connecting the dots on what he was trying to tell me.
"Jake, no-"
"I started drinking and that girl I was with the first day brought some drugs to the bus we were on. I tried them and the next morning I realized I wasn't depressed about not being with the person I loved. But I lost control and lost them anyways..." I felt the tear land on our conjoined hands before I saw him crying.
"Abigail Amelia Ajax...I love you and I never told you because I was scared. I'm so sorry."
My face went blank and my mind started going off on different tangents of what this meant. What was going to happen. I sure as hell wasn't prepared for him to place his hands on either side of my face. His eyes were lit up like they used to be when I looked this time. He looked like the Jake I knew and loved. This feeling bubbled up from my stomach and before I knew what was going on he kissed me. I didn't push him away though. For some reason this felt right.
My arms went up around his neck and his dropped down to my waist. He pulled away after a minute and just stared me in the eyes with a large smile on his face. Mine surely didn't mimic his though. My arms dropped quickly and my mouth dropped open.