Returning to Life

Luke went back to the store a few days later.

He told himself he just wanted to thank Faye for her help and tell her that his brother loved what she had picked out, even though he had gotten all the credit.

They say you should never find your happiness in a person. Luke had always been conscious of that, it was something his mother used to recite to him daily but when he found himself standing in front of the display window of the store, he knew that he wanted to do more than thank her.

The passed few days he had called into work sick, not even bothering to throw in a cough. He knew his manager didn’t believe him, but Luke couldn’t find a way to tell him that he really was sick. It just wasn’t a flu - it’s just that Luke felt like he could jump out of the window of his apartment at any minute, he felt like he could bathe with a toaster hugged into his chest. It’s just that he really, really, felt that his sleeping pills could work if he took the whole bottle and that the short cut to heaven was a brisk walk through traffic.

He was smarter than that though, smart enough to hop into lukewarm shower and dress himself. Smart enough to use the road signals to cross streets instead of walking carelessly through speeding cars. He had that at least.

So, he ended up here, hands shoved into his pockets as he peered into the display window, passed all the mannequins, trying to somehow get a glimpse of Faye. Really, he was taking a blind shot showing up here again - maybe it wasn’t even her day to work and…whatever. He would go in and check anyways, because he had nothing better to do. He could have always went home, but his apartment was almost as dingy as his brain was, and it wouldn’t do him any good.

Taking his hands from his pockets, he walked up to the main entrance of the store and yanked on the handle, pulling the door open just wide enough for him to slip through. He brought his hand up to comb through his hair - a habit he had picked up at some point for absolutely no reason - and darted his eyes around the store again.

Faye was at the register, still smiling as she talked to the customer with hand gestures. She must have said something funny, because the lady in front of her laughed before gathering her bags and walking away. Luke watched as Faye turned to a co-worker, and he swore he felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards as he watched her tell a story with wide eyes.

It didn’t take much more for him to walk toward her - it was like they were opposite charged magnets. He weaved through people and objects like he had walked through an empty room, and when he got close enough she finally turned around to see who was there. When she saw him she gave him a wide smile, clearly having remembered him and for a second Luke felt relieved.

Most of the time, Luke didn’t feel much of anything. Which is why he was able to be so blunt, so straight forward. But he found himself feeling a little bit nervous as he approached her, though he never broke eye contact. He tried to give her a smile, just to seem friendly, but the one he mustered wasn’t very convincing, he was sure.

“Hi!” She said, “Nice to see you again, how was your brothers birthday? Did he like the stuff we picked out?” She spoke fast as she leaned over the counter, if only to get a closer look at Luke.

“Hi, yeah, it was good. He, um. He liked it.” Luke began to feel a bit stupid, but god damn it, his mind was so dark and he thought that maybe she could paint some white streaks to lighten up the place a bit. He had been thinking about it since he left the store a few days ago, and he thought he couldn’t want anything more.

“That’s great,” She smiled softly, “I’m glad. What brings you back, then?”

He thought about it for a moment, and he didn’t respond right away. He took a secret peek to the boy who was standing at the cash next to her, who of course was watching. Not that it mattered, but Luke thought he could use a bit of privacy if he was going to do this.

“Well,” He said, “you, I guess.” There were a lot better ways he could have put it, he was sure. But those were the first things that came to his mind, and he went with it. At the same time she gave him a puzzled look, the boy next to her sputtered out a laugh. Luke noticed she gave the boy a stern look which made him walk away, shoulders still shaking a bit from laughing. It was fine, Lukes brothers laughed at him all the time and he couldn’t care less. Luke has done more damage to himself than anyone else ever could, so it didn’t bother him anymore.

“Me?” She said once she turned back to him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I don’t know, I guess I just…I wanted to ask you on a date.” He noticed her skin turn a bit pink and she looked down at the counter, hair swooping forward so that her face was only partially visible.

“Oh.” It was only a whisper, but Luke still heard it.

He shrugged and said, “sorry if that’s awkward for you. I just wanted to thank you and-”

“No,” she looked up at him, that smile on her lips. “No, I’d like to, Luke. Thank you.” Luke was surprised, and actually kind of relieved that she interrupted him because he really didn’t know what else to day to her.

“Cool” - he licked his lips - “Okay. Can I have your number? You know, so I can let you know the details?” He took his phone out and typed her number in quickly as she recited it, at the same time a customer came up. She gave him one last smile, with the blush still on her face and he found that he actually enjoyed the look of it. It might have been the first thing he found enjoyment in for a while.

So he smiled, he actually smiled before he gave her a small head nod and walked out the door.