Immortality Unwished For

"No, no, no. This is so wrong." Ella pulled out quickly and shook her head.

Edward couldn't believe what he had done as well, but he couldn't deny she kissed better than Bella.

Edward brought her back to his lips and she kissed back. She did her best to stop herself but she let her heart win.

They kissed with passion and love. Her hands through his hair and his hands on his on her waist keeping her in place. They dropped their backpacks on the ground.

"We--shouldn't" Ella said between kisses.

"I know." His breath was ragged. "But I can't stop myself."

"Me either."

[Bella, think of Bella and the hurt you would cause her!] A little voice said inside her head.

She broke away from the kiss but he still had a hold of her around her waist.

"Think of Bella."

Her name brought Edward back to reality and slightly frowned. His forehead creased.

"I love you, Ella. I tried to deny it so many times everyday, but when I see you... I can't help myself."

"How can you love me knowing everything bad I've done in my life?"

"Because in the end you overcame it."

"How do you know? I mean, Bella is a safe bet. She's never done drugs, she's never drinked and... she's still...you know... pure. She's perfect... I mean... I have a lot of flaws and--"

He stopped her by placing a single cold finger on her lips.

"You may have flaws like--"

"Double personalities and a druggie and a recovering alcoholic and a drug dealer... I could go on."

Edward laughs.

"That doesn't change the fact that I love you, Ella."

"How I longed to hear those three words from you Edward." Ella sighed resting her head on his chest. He stroked her hair and kissed it.

"I have something to tell you." Ella said.

"Me first. Look, right now. I'm the most confused I've ever been in my life. I'm in love with two beautiful girls. One because her blood called out to me like no other. The other enchanted me with her personality, her smile, her eyes and her singing as well. She has her flaws but I love her as well. Now I think to myself...whom do I love more?"

Ella gulped.

"And it's you Ella. When I'm around you I'm not afraid to do this."

He cups her face and kisses her with a slight force. He pulls out and says.

"I can't do that without hurting Bella. With you I feel like you understand me. You get me."

Ella thought about this.

"I don't want to replace Bella."

Edward stayed quiet.

"But you're perfect. I won't hurt you--"

Ella knew why Edward loved her, but it didn't change that he was also in love with Bella.

"I'm going to Los Angeles on Tuesday and probably go on tour." Ella confessed, her face buried on his chest and she felt his muscles tense.

"What?" He gasped.

"If Rage and Grace get signed with Warner Bros, we get to be the opening act for Avenged Sevenfold and go around the country... the concert is called Taste of Chaos."

"But, then you'll be far away and the fact that you're a vampire--"

"I'm only half Edward, remember, I don't to feed as much, maybe once a month."

"You're a newborn, newborns usually can't get to be in public for years and you... you're not...normal." He didn't mean it as an insult and Ella knew.

She chuckled to herslef and shook her head.

"Haven't you noticed Edward? I'm everything but normal."

He smiled crookedly and chuckles. "You're right."

"Look, this time away will give you time to clear your head and if by the time that I am back and you still love me... then we'll talk, but until you have time to think, I can't do anything. I don't want to betray Bella, she's my family." It pained her to have to do this but she had to. I mean, a year ago she would've cared less if he was her cousin's boyfriend, but now she cares, she has morals.

Edward thought about it and agreed.

"On one condition."

"And what would that be?" Ella asked.

"That just for these two days... pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist." He whispered, his cool breath on her face dazzled her making her weak to the knees, but his grab around her waist kept her on her feet. "Just let it be me and you."

With each word he brought himself closer to Ella until their lips met once more. He cupped her face and she places her hands on his shoulders for support.

***

"Since I'm half-mexican and my dad is...was...really proud of his heritage and both my grandparents, from his side, were alive they decided to throw me a quinceanera."

"You mean when they introduce you to society to know that you are eligable for marrige?" Edward asked.

They were under the night starts on a clear night. Edward's legs were spread wide and Ella sat between them as she back leaned on his chest. His arms around her torso and his chin on the crook of her neck.

"Yes, it was the only time I ever wore a dress, besides Prom. My mom said she video tapped the whole thing but when I looked for it through in the boxes it wasn't there." Ella shrugged her shoulder dismissing the subject.

Ella looked up at the stars and then giggled when Edward's cold lips pecked her neck.

"I wonder why my eyes don't turn gold like yours and the rest?" Ella thought out loud.

"You're everything but normal, remember?"

She chuckled. "Yes."

There is a silence, not an awkward silence but the good kind, the comfortable kind.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

She giggled at that but continued.

"Who is the Volturi?"

His body tensed behind Ella and she felt it so she turned around and sat on her knees to get a good look at his reaction.

"Where did you hear that?"

"From you... I mean I didn't mean to, it just slipped out of your mind a few days ago when you were looking at me, remember? We were studying for math?"

His face changed as he remembered.

"What about them?"

"Who are they?"

Edward sighed. "They're the oldest known vampires."

"Really? How old?"

"A couple thousand years, I think."

"Are they like the leaders of us?"

Edward seemed hesitant to answer her questions but she needed to know these things.

"Yes; in a way. You see they make sure our existance remains unknown, so anyone who might put our secret in danger get's 'taken care of'." He did air quotes.

"How many are they?"

"Three, but... um... they seek vampires with special talents like you, me, Alice and Jasper. They asked them to join them."

"Are they veggies, like us?" She cocked an eyebrow.

Edward looked away and Ella got her answer.

"Oh. That... sucks." She paused for a better word but couldn't find anything. "Why were you thinking of them?"

"The thought of losing you to James... the hurt everyone around me would be in. The darkness of the day without you... drove me to... suicide thoughts."

She puts on a confused look because she was.

"Suicide, I'm guessing not 'slitting your wrist' kind of suicide, right?"

"I was going to give the Volturi a reason to kill me."

"Why?" She gasped.

"Because... without you there would be no reason to go on."

Ella laughed and Edward felt a little hurt by this.

"I didn't mean to laugh, Edward, but... it's ridiculous, eventually you would've gotten over me and turned back to Bella... because her reason for waking up it's you." She poked his chest.

"No fair, we were not suppose to bring reality into our little world." He frowned.

Ella laughed a bit. Suddenly she became quiet and she tilted her head upward to the stars. Edward saw the beautiful image of Ella and took a mental picture of her. Her skin glistened through the night, her orange slash red hair popped and her green eyes just...amazing looking. She brought down her gaze to Edward.

"What?"

"You're beautiful."

If Ella could blush.

"Thank you. I miss her, you know?"

"No I don't, I can't read your mind remember?"

"My mom." She giggled. " I miss her. I miss her bickering; telling me practice the piano for the recitals. To stop bringing boys to the house, not what you think." Ella added quickly.

Edward cocked an eyebrow.

"It never got further than first or sometimes, second base." Ella pointed out.

"I understand."

Ella sighed.

"Bella has no idea what it's like to lose a mother. Doesn't matter how: cancer, accident, a stupid vampires sucks her blood. The feeling you get when you realize she's never going to be there for your wedding, for your grandchildren, or even to just give you a hug. It's an unbearble pain."

"I understand you. I felt the same way the first few years as a newborn. I was the only one left in my family... how I miss the smell of her cooking, she was a great cook." Edward smiled, he closed his eyes and tried to remember his mother cooking but couldn't. "It all seems like a--"

"Distant dream or memory." They said at the same time.

"My little sister, Maria, gosh did she yet on my last fucking nerve or what." Ella laughed. "One time she clinged to my leg so that I wouldn't go to a party, she was the sweetest thing. She was already doing ballet and stuff."

"How did she look like?"

"Like my mom. Rich brown hair and brown eyes, from my dad. Did you know my dad's great-great-grandfather was a Quileute?"

Edward's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah, Billy knew my father they were friends when my dad came here to Forks for a visits; he said he fell in love my mom at first sight. That everything became her when he saw her. The reason for his being was her. Beautiful and corny at the same time."

"So, you have Quileute blood in you?"

"Yes, I guess so." Ella shrugged dismissively.

"Was your dad...hot and I mean that, as in his temparture was always high?"

"Now that I think about it... yes. In the winter I used him as my personal heater. I curled like a ball on his lap on Christmas and fall asleep." Ella smiled at her memory.

***

Ella, Uncle Chuck and the rest of the band's parents drove to Seattle. Ella had a suitcase with clothes. She was going to stay in Los Angeles for one week. She was so excited to go back home.

On the plane she just listened to music. Josh nudged her with his elbow to get her attention.

"What?" Ella groaned.

Josh pointed at his notebook. In the middle of the notebook was a design with the letters R.A.G.

"Rage and Grace?" Ella catched on.

"What do you think?"

"RAG, mmh, catchy. I like it." She smiled.

Uncle Charlie got off the plane with them and got their stuff. Aubrey was excited because she was going to celebrate her birthday in Los Angeles.

"I'm going to take you to Six Flags for your birthday." Ella said in the black SUV that was going to take them to the Hotel they were going to stay. All expenses paid by Warner Bros.

"I was hoping to go to Hollywood."

"But Six Flags is way better!!" Ella whined.

Aubrey rolled her eyes.

"Then I'll take you to my favorite mall and we'll go into like Hollister or something."

Aubrey knew Ella hated Hollister, and that she knew that Ella knew that Aubrey loved Hollister.

"Would you really sacrafice yourself like that? By going into a Hollister store for me?" Aubrey pouted.

"Yes; I'm that serious about going to Six Flags." Ella sighed.