I Guess You Can Call These...

Jason and I have been married for a year and we’ve been trying to have kids now for a while. We recently found out that it would be hard for us to have kids together, naturally. Then Jason got laid off and has been a rut. I’ve been working extra hours at work trying to help us get by.
I walked into our house after a long day at work and entered the living room.
“Hey honey,” I said putting on a good face.
He nodded his head at me as he sipped his beer and stared at the T.V.
I sighed and walked over to him. “What’s for dinner?”
He shook his head and sighed.
“Okay…” I said as I headed up stairs. Once in our room I slipped off my shoes and took my hair out and placed my bags on the floor. I walked into our bathroom saw that the toilet seat was up. I ran my fingers through my hair and put the seat down before I sat.
Once I was finished I stormed down stairs and grabbed the remote from Jason and turned off the T.V.
“What the hell?” he said looking at me for the first time in weeks.
“I have had it with you and lazy, woe is me attitude,” I said. “I’ve told you that I hate it when you leave the toilet seat up. Then I come home, late, to a messy house with no dinner and to a husband who does nothing all day but sit and get drunk! Get off your ass and find a job!”
“I did look for a job!”
“Looking out the window doesn’t count as looking!”
“I’m a business man! I’m not just going to jump at the first help wanted sign I see!”
“Swallow your pride! I need help paying the bills around here.”
Jason got up and walked away from me, towards the steps.
“Is that all you do? Run when things get hard? You are not the man I married and if I knew that you were a coward when things get rough, I would have never had said I do!”
The words fell from my mouth before I could stop them, but I don’t think I would have if I could.
Jason just looked at me before grabbing his keys, shoes and coat and left.
I sighed and sank to the floor. I put my head in my hands and took slow, deep breaths. After a few minutes I stood up and went to the kitchen. I took out a frozen dinner and warmed it up. I eat in silence then headed to bed.
The next morning I woke up early and went for a run. I needed to clear my head. I just hoped Jason would come back home.
After my run I took a shower and went to work.
When I drove into our driveway, late at night, I didn’t see Jason’s car.
I walked into our house and headed up stairs. Most of his things were gone. I sat on the bed and cried a little, debating weather or not I should call him. I decided against it. He’ll reach out when he’s ready.
I took off my shoes and headed down stairs. I took out another frozen dinner.
Months went by and there was no sign of Jason.
I was cooking dinner on a Thursday night when the front door opened.
I turned around quickly and smiled.
Jason just looked at me before walking over and placed a bunch of papers on the counter.
I looked at them then back at him.
Divorce papers.
I shook my head before falling to the ground. Shaking in tears.
“Please, please, Jason, don’t leave me. I didn’t mean it…I didn’t mean it…” I said through sobs.
He slowly squatted down and put his hand on my cheek. “I never stopped loving you. It’s just better this way…We’re not happy like this.”
I shook my head and just cried.
Jason stood up and walked over to the door. “Goodbye Hannah”.
I cried myself to sleep that night. I woke up a few hours later and went for a run.
When I came back home I took a shower and got in bed. I called in sick and sleep in a little more.
Once I woke up I headed down stairs and looked over the divorce papers. Everything seemed to be in order. Jason had already signed them…
I called my mom and told her that I wanted a dinner meeting with her and my sister, Julia. She agreed and told me that she’ll call Julia when she got home.
Hours later I pulled myself together and meet my mom and sister at a near by café. They were already seated when I got there. I placed the divorce papers on the table and my mom picked them up. “What happened?”
“I pushed him away…we got into a fight and…”
“He signed them already?” my mom asked.
“Do you want to throw your marriage away already?” Julia asked.
“I don’t know! He’s not happy. I can’t force him to stay…”
“Talk to him at least…”
“Maybe tomorrow…I know where he is…”
“Where?” my mom asked glaring at the divorce papers.
“He’s brother’s place…”
“Go over there and talk to him…”
“I will,” I said as I got up to order my food.
***********
I knocked on Jason’s brother’s door, the next day, and waited.
Jason answered and looked at me. “Come in…” he said opening the door.
I walked in and placed the papers down.
“I love you and I’m not letting this marriage go down without a fight. We made a promise to be there for each other for better or for worse and this is, by far, the worse. Jason, I refuse to live without you and I need you in my life. I know things are hard now, but give it some time. Things will turn around for us. Just please…” my voice cracked and my body started to shake with tears. “Don’t leave me…, please, I love you and I know you still love me too…just…stay with me”.
Jason hugged me and held me against him tightly. He kissed me softly and tenderly on the lips before pulling away.
“I found a job as the manager of a new business. They’re building a mall not far from here and they hired me. Baby, I’m so sorry for the way that I acted. You’re right. I was being a coward and I needed to start acting like a man, a husband and a future father. Hannah, I love you more than you can imagine. The divorce papers were out of spite and anger. I wasn’t happy and I knew you weren’t and the last thing I wanted to do was cause you more pain. You deserve better than me, I told you that when we started dating and I mean it-”
“I want you and only you in my life,” I interrupted.
He smiled and kissed me so passionately that I just melted into his arms and held onto the collar of his shirt. We slowly pulled away and smiled at each other.
“I love you…” Jason whispered.
“I love you too” I whispered back.