Sequel: Weapons of War

Seven Year Ache

JET PLANE

Late July 2005

While Riley stared at his two packed bags by her bedroom door Shea glanced around her own bedroom. Boxes were packed, things he had grown so used to seeing were gone and sitting on her desk was a folded up UBC sweater that reminded him that they were headed in very different directions. 4000 km to be exact, it was something Riley had told him once when he commented on their distance after this year. Shea had tried to counter back with a joke about how it was only 3500 km if he didn't make the Predators and ended up in Milwaukee for the season. It didn't go over that well.

Things were about to change so much more than either of them had realized or tried to plan for. More than once it had crossed his mind to ask Riley to come with him, but since that acceptance letter to UBC came in the mail he hadn't thought of it once. Selfishly of course, now he was thinking about it. He would so much rather have her by his side tomorrow than head out to Nashville alone while she spent another month here in Kelowna and then moved to Vancouver.

He had of course memorized the one game they played in Vancouver this season at the end of December, and he wondered if her schedule permitted it if he would be able to convince her to come to LA when they played them. This was all permitting that he even made the team, which he was still unsure of. Of course if he did end up in the AHL he knew there would be pretty well zero chances of being able to see Riley through the season.

He announced, “I hate this.”

Riley turned to look at him from where she was sitting on her bed, cross legged with her hair up in a curly mess of a bun, and asked, “Hate what?”

“Leaving.” He admitted softly, and when she shot him a soft look he got up off of the chair by the window and took a seat beside her. He assured her, “I'm happy that I'm going and giving this a shot I just wish it didn't come at the expense of never seeing you.”

“You're gonna get there and do so amazing you'll forget all about me.” She told him with a smile as she continued trying to pick classes for her first semester of university.

Shea shook his head and told her, “Never gonna happen.”

“Good.” She said, surprising him. When his eyebrow raised she told him, “I want you to have fun and kick ass but I still want you to kind of miss me.”

He shot her a goofy grin before taking her notebook and pencil out of her hand and putting it on the nightstand beside her. He grabbed her hands and pulled her down onto his chest as he laid on his back across her bed and as he reached up to tuck a piece of stray hair behind her ear he told her, “I'm always gonna miss you. Always.”

“I'll sort of moderately miss you as well.” She joked, making them both laugh.

“Yeah? Only moderately huh? What if I find that moderately insulting hmm?” Shea asked her, wrapping his arms tightly around her small frame, making her grin down at him.

She shrugged and asked him, “What else is new?”

Shea rolled his eyes at her but leaned up just slightly to kiss her lips softly before he dropped his head back onto the pillow and asked her, “What do you want to do tonight?”

“You should probably go home and spend time with your family.” She told him, trying to get out of his vice grip, but he simply tightened it and kept her where she was.

“I spent all day with them, besides they're gonna visit like two weeks after I get there, and I'll see them in the morning at the airport.” Shea informed her, clearly having thought this out and pre-planned a response knowing she would feel bad for taking him away from his family on his last night in town. He also informed her, “This is the beauty of my family and you only being like a two hour drive apart.”

“You promise you want to be here? Because if you want to be with them you can go Shea it won't hurt my feelings.” She told him, looking down at him to see if he was lying to her.

He shook his head and told her, “I want to be here Ry. You should know by now that if I didn’t I wouldn’t be here. I’m a make my own choices kind of guy.”

“I know.” She told him with a confirmative nod of her head. Curiously Shea cocked an eyebrow at her quick response and her cheeks flushed before she told him, “You’re very pushy once you make up your mind.”

“You know some people say that’s my best quality.” He told her with a wide grin.

She shook her head and informed him, “I beg to differ.”

“Oh yeah?” He asked her with an amused smile on his face.

Nodding she told him, “I can think of at least five other, much better, things about you.”

“Only five?” He joked, laughing when she rolled her eyes and swatted his chest. Curiously he asked her, “And those would be?”

She made a face like she was thinking before telling him, “Well there’s your smile, it’s very contagious, and you have very nice eyes. You’re basically a giant so I never have to get a stool when I need something on a high shelf, and you have nice strong arms that make me feel safe.”

“Four.” Shea mused, and when Riley raised her own eyebrow he explained, “That was four. You said five, so what’s the fifth one?”

She smiled softly, but her whole face lit up as she pressed an index finger against the side of his face and told him, “Your dimple.”

He let out a roaring laugh at this, his chest vibrating as he tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her flush against him. Once he stopped laughing he looked up at her, she was watching him with an amused look on her face, and asked her, “My dimple is one of my best qualities?”

Nodding she told him, “And it’s my favorite one.”

“It’s a dimple…” He told her, unsure of what was so great about it.

“It makes you so much cuter though.” She informed him.

“Only cute huh?” He asked with an amused smile as she made a thinking face and then nodded. He tickled her sides, making her wiggle on top of him in a way that made him grab her to still her before warning, “Unless you want this to end like our last wrestling match I’d stop.”

She grinned wickedly at him and he knew she knew exactly what she was doing to him. She reached out and ran her finger through the front of his hair before asking, “And what was so bad about that?”

“Absolutely nothing, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeve for tonight before we get to that.” Shea told her with a smile. When she raised her eyebrow he nodded, leaned his head back on the pillow and stared at her. She looked away from his eyes, her cheeks pink, and tucked a piece of curly hair behind her ear again. Curiously Shea asked her, “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” She asked him, suddenly interested in the seam on the shoulder of his t-shirt.

She was tracing the thread as Shea watched her and asked, “Look away every time I look at you.”

“I don’t.”

“Riley, look at me.” She raised her eyes to his, her eyebrows slightly raised as he watched her do this. He reached out, ran his thumb across her jaw before asking softly, his chest vibrating as he spoke, “Want to know what I think your top five qualities are?”

It peaked her interest but to keep her tough girl image she shrugged, “If you think you have to tell me.”

He let out a chuckle and tugged gently on a stray curl, “You hair when it’s wild and crazy, and the way your smile is a little crooked on the right side, the way you squint when you’re thinking and that you’re so small you fit right into my side like you were made for it but mostly my favorite thing about you is that you’re not perfect and you don’t try to be.”

Riley rolled her eyes and told him, “That’s not fair all you did was name a bunch of stuff that I hate about myself.”

Shea nodded and told her, “Which is exactly why those are my favorite things about you.”

“Liar.”

He let out a chuckle, placed both his hands on the sides of her face and pulled her down to him, pressing his lips against hers softly. She let herself relax into his touch for a few seconds, before he pulled away from her and told her with a smile, “Riley when you look in a mirror and pick out every flaw and every tiny thing that you don’t like about yourself it makes me love those things even more. Not because they’re flaws to me but because I love everything about you and I think you’re crazy to not love yourself the way you should.”

“You need glasses.” She stated with a roll of her eyes.

“No, I think you need glasses.” He countered back with, making the corners of her lips turn up into a small smile. The sight made Shea smile at her and then inform her, “You’re the most amazing, stunning, beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on and I’m gonna keep telling you that until you believe it yourself.”

“Might be a lifetime job.” She warned him.

“I’m good for it.” He told her with a shrug of his shoulders. She smiled gently and averted her eyes again, looking down at his t-shirt for what felt like the hundredth time. She ran her index finger up and down the curve of his shoulder and then wiggled off of him to lay by his side, resting her chin on his chest. Shea wrapped his arm securely around her waist, his large hand splayed out across her hip before he looked at her and asked, “Are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room or just pretend it isn’t there?”

“I’m good with pretending if you are.” She told him, her words slightly muffled against the material of his shirt.

Still he let out a chuckle, rubbed his palm against her hip and told her, “I don’t want to leave tomorrow with anything still unresolved.”

“It’s nothing.” She lied.

“If you were looking at me I bet I could see your wisdom teeth.” He informed her, knowing full well that she couldn’t lie without smiling so big her teeth showed. She was a terrible liar, always had been, and Shea was sure she always would be. He spoke softly as he asked, “What are you so afraid of?”

She let out a small, quiet sigh before she told him, “Holding you back.”

His brows crunched together and he reached out, using his fingers to pull her face up toward him so that he could see her fully. She wanted to look away, in fact she wanted desperately to just rewind and pretend this whole conversation had never even gotten started. When it was clear that she wasn’t going to elaborate Shea asked her curiously, “Holding me back?”

Slowly she nodded and told him, “I just… the last thing I want is to hold you back, to make you feel obligated to me and this. I love you Shea, you know I do, but I don’t want to be the reason you don’t do your absolute best.”

“That’s impossible.” He assured her, knowing he was going nowhere.

“It’s not. I don’t want you to think you owe me anything. You’re gonna do amazing things and I don’t want to feel like I’m keeping you from achieving your dreams.” She told him quietly, before looking up at him and speaking a little louder, “I’m so afraid of what’s gonna happen tomorrow when you leave that I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“I’ve been kind of feeling the same way.” Shea finally admitted, not looking directly at her when she turned her attention on him, a surprised look on her face. Without giving her the chance to ask questions he told her, “You should have a normal college experience. Making friends and going out and having fun, not dealing with a geographically undesirable boyfriend who can’t be there for things like reading week and Christmas and your graduation. A boyfriend that’s barely going to even be able to call you, and who’s never gonna be around. You deserve better than that.”

“So what do we do?” She asked him quietly, they both already knew the answer to this but neither wanted to admit it.

Shea rubbed her lower back with both of his large palms and told her, “I think maybe we should try these new things separate for a while.”

“Break up.” Riley stated, knowing that while he didn’t say it, someone had to.

Shea nodded slowly but told her, “Not break up, just take a break. Put things on pause and be apart for a while. Do the whole college and hockey thing and then maybe see where things are this summer?”

“Like a non-exclusive August to June break in our relationship?” She asked, not sure she was understanding what he was getting at.

Shea nodded, “I guess, yeah.”

“I think maybe you’re right.” She admitted sadly, and before he could say anything in response other than his nod she added, “This is what’s best for the both of us right now.”

“Can I still see you whenever we’re in town?” Shea asked her, almost nervously.

“You better.” She told him, smiling gently.

Shea grinned at her and told her, “And then this summer when we’re both home maybe we can see if we still feel the same?”

“We can.” She told him with another soft smile.

He leaned up just slightly, kissing her lips gently before he told her, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

- - -

The next morning Riley stood back and let Shea say goodbye to his parents at the airport, she played with a string that was fraying on the inside of her sweater and her eyes stayed on that little boarding pass sticking out of his passport that he had lazily shoved into the pocket of his jeans after checking in fifteen minutes previous.

He still had ten minutes before he absolutely had to be through security, and Riley was pulled back to reality when his parents and brother said one last goodbye before heading back to their car. He reached out, took her hand and pulled her into him, winding his arms around her waist before he told her, “Don’t look so sad.”

“But I am sad.” She stated, looking up at him. She gave him a forced smile when he shot her a pointed look and it made the two of them chuckle.

“I’ll be back for Christmas.” He assured her.

“I won’t.” She stated, and he frowned. He hadn’t been counting on that, he knew his break would be short and likely a waste of time to anyone who didn’t understand why he would take a likely one day trip home. She explained to him, “My dad wants to do Christmas in Vancouver with my aunt.”

“Well… I’ll be home this summer.” He tried not to let her see how disappointed he was, he didn’t want to make her feel any worse than he could tell she already did. Riley nodded slowly, leaned her head against his chest and sighed. Shea ran one hand down her hair, before it went back to resting against her lower back. He couldn’t help but joke, “Only you would wear a sweater in July.”

She grinned up at him, and then her eyes drifted over to the clock on the wall behind them before she said sadly, “You gotta go.”

“I know.” He told her, not letting go of her or making any motion to move. As bad as he wanted to, he knew he couldn’t stay and he knew Riley wouldn’t let him. Still, in a last ditch, selfish effort he asked her, “Come with me.”

She smiled up at him, “Don’t tempt me.”

“You’ll call me? If you need anything? Even just to talk? Just because we aren’t a thing doesn’t mean we aren’t friends and that I’ll stop caring about you.” He told her, knowing she already knew this.

“I will, and the same goes for you.” She said, giving him a look when he shrugged. He sighed, and then nodded, before Riley reminded him, “You’ll call when you get in right? So I know you got there safe?”

He nodded, wrapped his arms as tight as he could around her and looked down at her to say, “I’ll call you.”

Riley nodded, leaned up on her tip toes to kiss him one last time before she pulled back and told him, “I love you.”

“I love you.” He mimicked, kissing her softly and quickly, chuckling when Riley put both her hands on his chest and pushed him toward security. He told her, “June.”

“June.” She repeated.

He shot her a smile as he started to walk toward security, and told her, “I’ll see you then.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Nice long flashback chapter for a change!

Comments appreciated :)