Sequel: Weapons of War ›
Seven Year Ache
NEW BEGINNINGS
October 2005
Riley had officially been living in Vancouver for almost two months, she wasn’t the biggest fan of university but it was what it was. She had made quick friends with her roommate Kate, who was constantly dragging her to this party or that one and she found she didn’t particularly mind it much. She didn’t go out much in high school, she and Shea had preferred to hang out just the two of them as opposed to in a house full of drunken teenagers, but now she was finding a handful of things she enjoyed doing that she never did before. Maybe Shea was right, they both needed normal post high school experiences and so far everything was going well for her in that department.
“I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?” Well maybe not everything.
She visibly rolled her eyes at the cheesy pick up line, something she thought only happened in the movies until she met drunk college guys, and ignored him standing next to her. She was taking a drink from her water bottle when another male walked up, put his hand on the other guys shoulder and said, “Dude she’s not interested.”
With a friendly push in the other direction the drunk pick up line guy was heading toward the next girl he thought that line would work on and Riley turned to the guy beside her. She smiled gently, and said, “Thanks.”
He nodded and asked her, “Freshie right?”
Riley raised her eyebrow at him while she twisted the cap back onto her water bottle before she asked him, “Do I even want to know how you know that?”
He shrugged, grinned and told her, “Not to sound like Eddie over there but I’ve been here three years, I’d remember you if I ever saw you before.”
Suddenly she was reminded of that night at that party in Kelowna when Shea had introduced himself to her as if he didn’t already know her and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. She let the guy beside her think she was smiling at him, when in reality it was the complete opposite, before she told him, “Well you caught me.”
“I’m Jack.” He held out his hand, and when she shook it she instantly compared him to Shea. Smaller hand, softer too, and a weak grip.
She internally shook her head at herself, smiled up at Jack and introduced herself, “Riley.”
“Riley… do you have a last name Riley?” He asked her smoothly, making her shrug, “You don’t know or you aren’t gonna tell me?”
“I can’t give away all my secrets in five minutes you know.” She joked, unaware that she was even making him think she was interested.
“Alright, I can deal with a girl with a little mystery.” He said with a grin, reaching around someone in the kitchen to grab a beer from the sink full of ice before he turned back to her and asked, “So where are you from?”
“Kelowna.” She didn’t know why she was offering up so much about herself so easily, but she kept thinking about how she needed to do normal university age things and a normal university girl would have a conversation and get to know the people she went to school with.
“Ogopogo!” He exclaimed upon hearing where she was from. Anyone who knew the story of the sea monster that originated from Kelowna brought it up the moment they found out she was from there. As if she didn’t see it everywhere she went, hell there was a jersey hanging in her closet with it on it. She was reminded again of that jersey, with the number 2 on the back and the ‘A’ on the chest, and instantly she felt a little bit of guilt for even having this conversation.
Still, after all, it had been Shea’s idea to be apart and do normal post high school things. They had agreed to be inexclusive, so Riley let out a chuckle and nodded, “That’s the one.”
“Never been but I hear it’s a pretty cool place.” Jack stated, and Riley nodded. As she glanced at her watch he took noticed and asked, “Somewhere you gotta be?”
“No, sorry… I was just checking to see what time it was to see if I could go back to my dorm yet honestly.” She told him with a chuckle and when he raised his eyebrow Riley instantly felt guilty and explained, “My roommate drags me to these things. I’m exhausted.”
“Want me to walk you back to your dorm?” He asked her curiously, watching as she struggled with an answer. He joked, “I promise I’m not a murderer. Just a nice guy offering to walk you home so you’re safe.”
She smiled lightly, tossed her water in the garbage and nodded her head, “Sure, thank you.”
“My pleasure.” They didn’t talk much on the walk home, in fact it was almost an awkward fifteen minute walk, and the moment Riley dug through her purse for her keys Jack told her, “I’m glad I saved you from Eddie’s pickup attempt.”
Riley smiled at him and informed him, “He wouldn’t have gotten anywhere, but thanks for doing it anyway.”
“Anytime.” He assured her, and when she pulled her keys out of her bag he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers softly.
She was too shocked to react so all she did was stand there while he kissed her, his hands on the sides of her face. She knew eventually this would happen, but she hadn’t expected it so soon and definitely not now or like this. Eventually she pulled away from him and with flushed cheeks she said, “I…uh… that was…”
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have just done that. I’d say I didn’t mean it but I did.” He told her with a smile.
She shook her head, eyes downcast and told him, “I can’t do that…”
“You involved or something?” He asked her curiously, she hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend.
“Yes-I mean no technically not I just… can’t do… that.” She stated, unlocking the door to her dorm building and stepping inside. She looked back at him and said, “Thanks for walking me home. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head with a smile and told her, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you around Riley.”
She nodded and let the door slam behind her, before walking through the common area and down the hall to her dorm. Unlocking the door she stepped inside, locking it behind her before she dropped onto her bed and let out a loud sigh. What the hell was she doing? She pulled her phone from her bag and stared at it, now of all the times she had ever wanted to all she wanted to do was call Shea. She went through her contacts, found his name, and her hand hovered over the message button, as unsure of the idea as her head was, her heart was the only part of her that was screaming at her to do it.
They had agreed to not see each other, to be apart and do life that way for a little while. However they had also agreed to call, and talk, and keep in touch. Shea would often send her a text if he scored in a game, or got into a fight, and he had been the first she had texted when she got her first A on a test. It was odd, them being friends but not dating while living in different countries. So many times she wanted to call him and ask how he was, how things were going, she desperately wanted to know how his career was going even though she could just google it on her own but she wanted to hear it from him. She missed asking him those things and getting his red faced, humble response.
Right now, on a Saturday night, laying in her dorm room in silence Riley wanted more than anything to call him, to hear his voice. She never thought she would miss him this much. She wanted to know what he was doing, and who he was doing it with even though she would never admit that she wanted to know that. She just wanted to be reminded of the way it had been, even if they sat on the phone in silence. She just desperately wanted some remanence of her old life, the one he had been a part of. Why did she not just go with him?
- - -
3500 kilometers away in Milwaukee Shea was laying on the couch in the apartment he shared with two of his teammates. His phone was sitting in his lap and he was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch on the TV. He was trying to find anything to keep his mind away from picking up the phone in his lap and calling Riley. He had to guess that she was probably out with friends, it was a Saturday night after all, and he knew her roommate was very party friendly from the little she had told him about her in one of their earlier phone calls. The phone calls had become non-existent in the last few weeks, every so often she would text him to let him know something good and every so often he would text her to tell her something good as well but those had become fewer and fewer as well.
He knew why he was keeping his distance, she deserved a normal university experience and he hoped she was out getting one but frankly the idea of her with someone else made him sick to his stomach. Despite their agreement, and despite numerous jabs and jokes by his teammates Shea couldn’t even bring himself to talk to another woman in any way other than being polite and friendly and while he wanted Riley to have those experiences part of him, selfishly, hoped she felt the same way about it as he did. Of course he wouldn’t admit that out loud because he didn’t want to seem bitter or angry, but he really did hope she didn’t want to be with anyone else, even though that was unfair of him to want.
He hadn’t expected it to be this hard. He thought he would get where he was and be so busy with hockey and trying to make everyone think he was worth something that he wouldn’t even have time to think about Riley but every second of downtime he was thinking about her. Wondering where she was, what she was doing, if she was doing it alone, and if not who was she with? Sometimes when his imagination ran a little too wild and he started thinking about her with someone else it made his blood boil. He was getting tired of this.
Shea glanced at his phone again, it would take him two seconds to reach down and grab it, another three maybe to pull up her name and call her, an extra minute or two on top of that if he was going to send her a text. He contemplated it, but eventually he simply turned the TV off, got up and went into his room. He dropped onto his bed, let out a loud sigh and tossed his phone into the nightstand drawer so to avoid caving and calling her.
They agreed to being non-exclusive, they agreed to taking a break, putting their relationship on pause and revisiting things this summer when they were both home and had time apart and could properly weight out the options. So that was what he was going to do. He would wait, he would pass his time and try his best not to think about her constantly and maybe eventually he wouldn’t have to try so hard. He would wait until the season was over and her schooling was done. It was only another seven months, maybe eight if they made playoffs. He could do that.
But god did he miss her.
Riley had officially been living in Vancouver for almost two months, she wasn’t the biggest fan of university but it was what it was. She had made quick friends with her roommate Kate, who was constantly dragging her to this party or that one and she found she didn’t particularly mind it much. She didn’t go out much in high school, she and Shea had preferred to hang out just the two of them as opposed to in a house full of drunken teenagers, but now she was finding a handful of things she enjoyed doing that she never did before. Maybe Shea was right, they both needed normal post high school experiences and so far everything was going well for her in that department.
“I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?” Well maybe not everything.
She visibly rolled her eyes at the cheesy pick up line, something she thought only happened in the movies until she met drunk college guys, and ignored him standing next to her. She was taking a drink from her water bottle when another male walked up, put his hand on the other guys shoulder and said, “Dude she’s not interested.”
With a friendly push in the other direction the drunk pick up line guy was heading toward the next girl he thought that line would work on and Riley turned to the guy beside her. She smiled gently, and said, “Thanks.”
He nodded and asked her, “Freshie right?”
Riley raised her eyebrow at him while she twisted the cap back onto her water bottle before she asked him, “Do I even want to know how you know that?”
He shrugged, grinned and told her, “Not to sound like Eddie over there but I’ve been here three years, I’d remember you if I ever saw you before.”
Suddenly she was reminded of that night at that party in Kelowna when Shea had introduced himself to her as if he didn’t already know her and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. She let the guy beside her think she was smiling at him, when in reality it was the complete opposite, before she told him, “Well you caught me.”
“I’m Jack.” He held out his hand, and when she shook it she instantly compared him to Shea. Smaller hand, softer too, and a weak grip.
She internally shook her head at herself, smiled up at Jack and introduced herself, “Riley.”
“Riley… do you have a last name Riley?” He asked her smoothly, making her shrug, “You don’t know or you aren’t gonna tell me?”
“I can’t give away all my secrets in five minutes you know.” She joked, unaware that she was even making him think she was interested.
“Alright, I can deal with a girl with a little mystery.” He said with a grin, reaching around someone in the kitchen to grab a beer from the sink full of ice before he turned back to her and asked, “So where are you from?”
“Kelowna.” She didn’t know why she was offering up so much about herself so easily, but she kept thinking about how she needed to do normal university age things and a normal university girl would have a conversation and get to know the people she went to school with.
“Ogopogo!” He exclaimed upon hearing where she was from. Anyone who knew the story of the sea monster that originated from Kelowna brought it up the moment they found out she was from there. As if she didn’t see it everywhere she went, hell there was a jersey hanging in her closet with it on it. She was reminded again of that jersey, with the number 2 on the back and the ‘A’ on the chest, and instantly she felt a little bit of guilt for even having this conversation.
Still, after all, it had been Shea’s idea to be apart and do normal post high school things. They had agreed to be inexclusive, so Riley let out a chuckle and nodded, “That’s the one.”
“Never been but I hear it’s a pretty cool place.” Jack stated, and Riley nodded. As she glanced at her watch he took noticed and asked, “Somewhere you gotta be?”
“No, sorry… I was just checking to see what time it was to see if I could go back to my dorm yet honestly.” She told him with a chuckle and when he raised his eyebrow Riley instantly felt guilty and explained, “My roommate drags me to these things. I’m exhausted.”
“Want me to walk you back to your dorm?” He asked her curiously, watching as she struggled with an answer. He joked, “I promise I’m not a murderer. Just a nice guy offering to walk you home so you’re safe.”
She smiled lightly, tossed her water in the garbage and nodded her head, “Sure, thank you.”
“My pleasure.” They didn’t talk much on the walk home, in fact it was almost an awkward fifteen minute walk, and the moment Riley dug through her purse for her keys Jack told her, “I’m glad I saved you from Eddie’s pickup attempt.”
Riley smiled at him and informed him, “He wouldn’t have gotten anywhere, but thanks for doing it anyway.”
“Anytime.” He assured her, and when she pulled her keys out of her bag he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers softly.
She was too shocked to react so all she did was stand there while he kissed her, his hands on the sides of her face. She knew eventually this would happen, but she hadn’t expected it so soon and definitely not now or like this. Eventually she pulled away from him and with flushed cheeks she said, “I…uh… that was…”
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have just done that. I’d say I didn’t mean it but I did.” He told her with a smile.
She shook her head, eyes downcast and told him, “I can’t do that…”
“You involved or something?” He asked her curiously, she hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend.
“Yes-I mean no technically not I just… can’t do… that.” She stated, unlocking the door to her dorm building and stepping inside. She looked back at him and said, “Thanks for walking me home. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head with a smile and told her, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you around Riley.”
She nodded and let the door slam behind her, before walking through the common area and down the hall to her dorm. Unlocking the door she stepped inside, locking it behind her before she dropped onto her bed and let out a loud sigh. What the hell was she doing? She pulled her phone from her bag and stared at it, now of all the times she had ever wanted to all she wanted to do was call Shea. She went through her contacts, found his name, and her hand hovered over the message button, as unsure of the idea as her head was, her heart was the only part of her that was screaming at her to do it.
They had agreed to not see each other, to be apart and do life that way for a little while. However they had also agreed to call, and talk, and keep in touch. Shea would often send her a text if he scored in a game, or got into a fight, and he had been the first she had texted when she got her first A on a test. It was odd, them being friends but not dating while living in different countries. So many times she wanted to call him and ask how he was, how things were going, she desperately wanted to know how his career was going even though she could just google it on her own but she wanted to hear it from him. She missed asking him those things and getting his red faced, humble response.
Right now, on a Saturday night, laying in her dorm room in silence Riley wanted more than anything to call him, to hear his voice. She never thought she would miss him this much. She wanted to know what he was doing, and who he was doing it with even though she would never admit that she wanted to know that. She just wanted to be reminded of the way it had been, even if they sat on the phone in silence. She just desperately wanted some remanence of her old life, the one he had been a part of. Why did she not just go with him?
- - -
3500 kilometers away in Milwaukee Shea was laying on the couch in the apartment he shared with two of his teammates. His phone was sitting in his lap and he was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch on the TV. He was trying to find anything to keep his mind away from picking up the phone in his lap and calling Riley. He had to guess that she was probably out with friends, it was a Saturday night after all, and he knew her roommate was very party friendly from the little she had told him about her in one of their earlier phone calls. The phone calls had become non-existent in the last few weeks, every so often she would text him to let him know something good and every so often he would text her to tell her something good as well but those had become fewer and fewer as well.
He knew why he was keeping his distance, she deserved a normal university experience and he hoped she was out getting one but frankly the idea of her with someone else made him sick to his stomach. Despite their agreement, and despite numerous jabs and jokes by his teammates Shea couldn’t even bring himself to talk to another woman in any way other than being polite and friendly and while he wanted Riley to have those experiences part of him, selfishly, hoped she felt the same way about it as he did. Of course he wouldn’t admit that out loud because he didn’t want to seem bitter or angry, but he really did hope she didn’t want to be with anyone else, even though that was unfair of him to want.
He hadn’t expected it to be this hard. He thought he would get where he was and be so busy with hockey and trying to make everyone think he was worth something that he wouldn’t even have time to think about Riley but every second of downtime he was thinking about her. Wondering where she was, what she was doing, if she was doing it alone, and if not who was she with? Sometimes when his imagination ran a little too wild and he started thinking about her with someone else it made his blood boil. He was getting tired of this.
Shea glanced at his phone again, it would take him two seconds to reach down and grab it, another three maybe to pull up her name and call her, an extra minute or two on top of that if he was going to send her a text. He contemplated it, but eventually he simply turned the TV off, got up and went into his room. He dropped onto his bed, let out a loud sigh and tossed his phone into the nightstand drawer so to avoid caving and calling her.
They agreed to being non-exclusive, they agreed to taking a break, putting their relationship on pause and revisiting things this summer when they were both home and had time apart and could properly weight out the options. So that was what he was going to do. He would wait, he would pass his time and try his best not to think about her constantly and maybe eventually he wouldn’t have to try so hard. He would wait until the season was over and her schooling was done. It was only another seven months, maybe eight if they made playoffs. He could do that.
But god did he miss her.
♠ ♠ ♠
yaaay an update!more to come!
drop a line perhaps and they will come sooner
*wink wink nudge nudge*