Sequel: Weapons of War ›
Seven Year Ache
ALL SHE WROTE
October 2006
Riley used the screen of her cell phone to check the way she looked as she waited in some long, deserted hallway in General Motors Place. Her stomach was doing acrobats as she waited for Shea after his game, she actually felt like she might throw up. When he had called her to tell her that they would be in Vancouver that week and asked if she wanted to come to the game Riley had said yes in a heartbeat, without even really thinking about it. Now however she was thinking about it and it didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. This was the first time they were seeing each other since she had turned down his request for her to move to Nashville over the summer and she didn't know how things would go tonight. She didn't know how Shea would be.
The first summer back for both of them had been weird to say the least. They had both changed, big time but in very different ways. Shea changed physically; he got bigger and wider and much more large. Riley however, in Shea's opinion, had changed completely; she acted different, dressed different, and she suddenly wasn't afraid to tell him what she really thought and while he loved that about her he wasn't so sure about the rest of it. Riley however thought change was a good thing.
Their brief two month long summer together was rough, but it was nothing compared to that final day they had been together when she said 'no' to his question. She just wasn't ready to give up everything for him just yet no matter how much her heart wanted her to.
She looked up when she heard footsteps and the corners of her lips turned up in a smile when she saw Shea approaching her. She slid her phone into her pocket of her jeans and watched as Shea mirrored her grin as he stopped in front of her and leaned down, enveloping her in a tight hug which surprised her. She gripped the back of his suit jacket as he pulled her even closer, and said quietly, “It's good to see you.”
He nodded against her shoulder but didn't say anything back or even let go of her. They stood holding onto one and other in silence for a few minutes before finally they parted and Shea looked down at Riley. She was wearing his jersey, the one he gave her last year when he made the Preds team, and a pair of skinny jeans tucked into ankle boots. Her hair was a curly mess, something he loved, and she was completely free of makeup. This was the Riley he knew.
He told her softly, “I missed you.”
Riley smiled gently, slid her hand into his and gave it a squeeze before she told him, “Me too.”
She dropped her hand as he cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair and asked, “You wanna get out of here?”
Nodding Riley told him, “Yeah I parked out here.”
They walked side by side in silence out of the arena and down the street, Shea following closely beside Riley as she navigated down the street. They stopped waiting to cross the street, still in silence, and when the symbol changed to walking she lead the way across the street. Ten minutes more of walking and they were walking through a pay for parking lot. When she stopped in front of an old Ford Escape Shea asked, “What happened to the Neon?”
As she unlocked the car and they both got inside Riley informed him, “Crapped out in September.”
“I told you so.” Shea butted back, reminding her of all those times he told her that thing was gonna die on her. She knew it was on its last leg, but she always argued with him about it anyway, mostly for the sake of arguing.
He watched her as she drove, unsure of what to say next, and Riley simply concentrated on the drive back to her apartment. She had only been living there for going on three months and she still wasn't entirely sure of how to get around, but after a twenty minute drive she pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine, turning to Shea. He raised his eyebrow as she placed her hands and her keys in her lap, before she asked, “If we go upstairs can you promise me something?”
He raised his eyebrow, “What's that?”
She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she looked down at her hands for a moment before she looked over at him and told him, “That you won't be mad at me for staying here and not going to Nashville with you.”
He smiled, reached over to clasp a hand around one of hers and assured her, “I never was Riley. I was upset, because I wanted you to come with me but I was never mad at you. I never could be.”
“Are you sure?” She was so unsure about this, about everything.
“Yeah, I'm sure.” He told her, giving her hand another squeeze.
She nodded slowly and reached over, opening the glove box, pulling her wallet out of it before she got out of the car and Shea followed her inside the building and into the elevator. As they rode up to the sixth floor Riley leaned against him, and Shea wrapped his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side. When the elevator doors opened they pulled apart and Riley guided him down the hallway to a black door, she unlocked it and pushed it open before letting them both inside.
As he slid out of his shoes Shea glanced around the apartment, it was nothing special, a kitchen and living room, what he guessed was one bedroom and a bathroom down the hall, but he knew Riley was glad to have her own space finally. She slid out of her jacket and shoes and asked him, “Do you want anything to eat?”
He shook his head, “I'm good.”
Riley nodded and walked past him, taking a seat on the couch, and Shea followed slowly. They sat in silence until she asked him, “So how is everything?”
“It's good. Busy but good you know?” He asked, before he laughed at himself and apologized, “Sorry. You're not a reporter.”
“No, I'm not.” She mused with a smile at his statement.
He cleared his throat and tried again, “Hard, things are hard, but it's so much more incredible than I thought it would be. Riley I don't even know how to describe how great this is, how much fun it is.”
She was smiling as she said, “I'm really glad to hear that Shea.”
“What about you? How's university life?” He asked her, aware that small talk was not their forte.
She shrugged, “It is what it is, but I'm done in May.”
“So...” Shea started, before he stopped and realized he had nothing really to say.
“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I went with you last season?” Riley asked him curiously. Shea turned toward her in surprise, that was the last thing he expected to come out of her mouth. She shrugged at his silent question of where that came from, and asked, “Do you?”
“I haven't really thought of that.” Shea told her honestly, looking down at his feet. He could see her nod her head up and down slowly from his peripheral vision, but he kept his eyes on the floor.
Riley stated softly, “I think about it all the time honestly.”
“And?” Shea asked her, finally turning to face her.
“I don't know, sometimes I think everything would have been easier, that this, having a simply conversation, would have been easier if I went.” She told him honestly, her voice quiet.
Curiously Shea asked, “But?”
“But then other times I think that maybe this was the best for us.” She said, looking down at her finger nails, which she was pressing into and dragging up and down the jean material covering her knees.
“This shouldn't be this hard right?” Shea asked, knowing exactly where this conversation was going.
Riley nodded slowly, her eyes filling with tears as she told him, “It really shouldn't, but then again everything between us seems hard lately.”
“So maybe we should do something about that?” Shea asked her, a part of him knew the right way to take this conversation, and thought he knew they had to have this conversation the biggest part of him didn't want to. They had been putting it off since that night in her bedroom in Kelowna when they were both headed out on their separate paths.
“I think that we should stop this... whatever it is.” She told him, motioning between them. When he looked at her in surprise, mostly because she said it first, Riley clarified, “It's too hard Shea. Seeing you whenever you're in town, and getting together during the summer... it just leaves me sad and upset and I miss you so much more then... I don't want to do that anymore.”
He nodded slowly, letting out a small sigh, and ran his hands through his hair before he asked, “Do you want me to leave?”
“No!” She was quick to exclaim. When she took in a deep breath she smiled and told him, “We can start tomorrow.”
“I like that plan.” Shea told her with a grin.
She reached up, cupped both sides of his face and leaned in, kissing his lips so softly he thought he imagined it. When she pulled back Shea wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her over to him, kissing her again, this time so they both could feel it. He kissed her as if he might never get to, she could feel that, and it made her curl her fingers around the back of his dress shirt tightly gripping the soft material in her palms.
Riley was the first to break apart for air, and she stood up, holding her hands out to him, when he took them and got up she guided him down the hall toward her bedroom. Once she was standing with the backs of her knees against her mattress Riley leaned up on her tip toes and connected their lips again tightly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as Shea leaned down and lifted her up by the backs of her thighs.
“Tomorrow right?” Shea asked as he pulled away from her, and when Riley nodded he leaned down and laid her on her back on the bed, hovering over top of her as he kissed her again.
Hours later when Shea's phone buzzed from the pocket of his dress pants on the floor Shea glanced over at Riley to find her fast asleep. A quick look at the clock on her nightstand told him it was quarter to twelve, and he carefully pried himself out of her grasp and got up, putting his clothes back on as quietly as possible so not to wake her up. Once he was completely dressed Shea glanced at Riley from the door of her bedroom, he watched her back rise and fall as she breathed, and he debated getting undressed and crawling back into bed with her.
Instead he pulled his cell phone out and turned around, closing the door to her apartment as quietly as he possibly could before he walked to the elevator. He rode down the six floors in silence, and then stepped out onto the street, glancing at the name of the apartment and the street name before he called himself a cab to get back to his hotel. Riley would go back to normal and finish up her schooling and he would go back to Nashville tomorrow morning.
Riley used the screen of her cell phone to check the way she looked as she waited in some long, deserted hallway in General Motors Place. Her stomach was doing acrobats as she waited for Shea after his game, she actually felt like she might throw up. When he had called her to tell her that they would be in Vancouver that week and asked if she wanted to come to the game Riley had said yes in a heartbeat, without even really thinking about it. Now however she was thinking about it and it didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. This was the first time they were seeing each other since she had turned down his request for her to move to Nashville over the summer and she didn't know how things would go tonight. She didn't know how Shea would be.
The first summer back for both of them had been weird to say the least. They had both changed, big time but in very different ways. Shea changed physically; he got bigger and wider and much more large. Riley however, in Shea's opinion, had changed completely; she acted different, dressed different, and she suddenly wasn't afraid to tell him what she really thought and while he loved that about her he wasn't so sure about the rest of it. Riley however thought change was a good thing.
Their brief two month long summer together was rough, but it was nothing compared to that final day they had been together when she said 'no' to his question. She just wasn't ready to give up everything for him just yet no matter how much her heart wanted her to.
She looked up when she heard footsteps and the corners of her lips turned up in a smile when she saw Shea approaching her. She slid her phone into her pocket of her jeans and watched as Shea mirrored her grin as he stopped in front of her and leaned down, enveloping her in a tight hug which surprised her. She gripped the back of his suit jacket as he pulled her even closer, and said quietly, “It's good to see you.”
He nodded against her shoulder but didn't say anything back or even let go of her. They stood holding onto one and other in silence for a few minutes before finally they parted and Shea looked down at Riley. She was wearing his jersey, the one he gave her last year when he made the Preds team, and a pair of skinny jeans tucked into ankle boots. Her hair was a curly mess, something he loved, and she was completely free of makeup. This was the Riley he knew.
He told her softly, “I missed you.”
Riley smiled gently, slid her hand into his and gave it a squeeze before she told him, “Me too.”
She dropped her hand as he cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair and asked, “You wanna get out of here?”
Nodding Riley told him, “Yeah I parked out here.”
They walked side by side in silence out of the arena and down the street, Shea following closely beside Riley as she navigated down the street. They stopped waiting to cross the street, still in silence, and when the symbol changed to walking she lead the way across the street. Ten minutes more of walking and they were walking through a pay for parking lot. When she stopped in front of an old Ford Escape Shea asked, “What happened to the Neon?”
As she unlocked the car and they both got inside Riley informed him, “Crapped out in September.”
“I told you so.” Shea butted back, reminding her of all those times he told her that thing was gonna die on her. She knew it was on its last leg, but she always argued with him about it anyway, mostly for the sake of arguing.
He watched her as she drove, unsure of what to say next, and Riley simply concentrated on the drive back to her apartment. She had only been living there for going on three months and she still wasn't entirely sure of how to get around, but after a twenty minute drive she pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine, turning to Shea. He raised his eyebrow as she placed her hands and her keys in her lap, before she asked, “If we go upstairs can you promise me something?”
He raised his eyebrow, “What's that?”
She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she looked down at her hands for a moment before she looked over at him and told him, “That you won't be mad at me for staying here and not going to Nashville with you.”
He smiled, reached over to clasp a hand around one of hers and assured her, “I never was Riley. I was upset, because I wanted you to come with me but I was never mad at you. I never could be.”
“Are you sure?” She was so unsure about this, about everything.
“Yeah, I'm sure.” He told her, giving her hand another squeeze.
She nodded slowly and reached over, opening the glove box, pulling her wallet out of it before she got out of the car and Shea followed her inside the building and into the elevator. As they rode up to the sixth floor Riley leaned against him, and Shea wrapped his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side. When the elevator doors opened they pulled apart and Riley guided him down the hallway to a black door, she unlocked it and pushed it open before letting them both inside.
As he slid out of his shoes Shea glanced around the apartment, it was nothing special, a kitchen and living room, what he guessed was one bedroom and a bathroom down the hall, but he knew Riley was glad to have her own space finally. She slid out of her jacket and shoes and asked him, “Do you want anything to eat?”
He shook his head, “I'm good.”
Riley nodded and walked past him, taking a seat on the couch, and Shea followed slowly. They sat in silence until she asked him, “So how is everything?”
“It's good. Busy but good you know?” He asked, before he laughed at himself and apologized, “Sorry. You're not a reporter.”
“No, I'm not.” She mused with a smile at his statement.
He cleared his throat and tried again, “Hard, things are hard, but it's so much more incredible than I thought it would be. Riley I don't even know how to describe how great this is, how much fun it is.”
She was smiling as she said, “I'm really glad to hear that Shea.”
“What about you? How's university life?” He asked her, aware that small talk was not their forte.
She shrugged, “It is what it is, but I'm done in May.”
“So...” Shea started, before he stopped and realized he had nothing really to say.
“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I went with you last season?” Riley asked him curiously. Shea turned toward her in surprise, that was the last thing he expected to come out of her mouth. She shrugged at his silent question of where that came from, and asked, “Do you?”
“I haven't really thought of that.” Shea told her honestly, looking down at his feet. He could see her nod her head up and down slowly from his peripheral vision, but he kept his eyes on the floor.
Riley stated softly, “I think about it all the time honestly.”
“And?” Shea asked her, finally turning to face her.
“I don't know, sometimes I think everything would have been easier, that this, having a simply conversation, would have been easier if I went.” She told him honestly, her voice quiet.
Curiously Shea asked, “But?”
“But then other times I think that maybe this was the best for us.” She said, looking down at her finger nails, which she was pressing into and dragging up and down the jean material covering her knees.
“This shouldn't be this hard right?” Shea asked, knowing exactly where this conversation was going.
Riley nodded slowly, her eyes filling with tears as she told him, “It really shouldn't, but then again everything between us seems hard lately.”
“So maybe we should do something about that?” Shea asked her, a part of him knew the right way to take this conversation, and thought he knew they had to have this conversation the biggest part of him didn't want to. They had been putting it off since that night in her bedroom in Kelowna when they were both headed out on their separate paths.
“I think that we should stop this... whatever it is.” She told him, motioning between them. When he looked at her in surprise, mostly because she said it first, Riley clarified, “It's too hard Shea. Seeing you whenever you're in town, and getting together during the summer... it just leaves me sad and upset and I miss you so much more then... I don't want to do that anymore.”
He nodded slowly, letting out a small sigh, and ran his hands through his hair before he asked, “Do you want me to leave?”
“No!” She was quick to exclaim. When she took in a deep breath she smiled and told him, “We can start tomorrow.”
“I like that plan.” Shea told her with a grin.
She reached up, cupped both sides of his face and leaned in, kissing his lips so softly he thought he imagined it. When she pulled back Shea wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her over to him, kissing her again, this time so they both could feel it. He kissed her as if he might never get to, she could feel that, and it made her curl her fingers around the back of his dress shirt tightly gripping the soft material in her palms.
Riley was the first to break apart for air, and she stood up, holding her hands out to him, when he took them and got up she guided him down the hall toward her bedroom. Once she was standing with the backs of her knees against her mattress Riley leaned up on her tip toes and connected their lips again tightly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as Shea leaned down and lifted her up by the backs of her thighs.
“Tomorrow right?” Shea asked as he pulled away from her, and when Riley nodded he leaned down and laid her on her back on the bed, hovering over top of her as he kissed her again.
Hours later when Shea's phone buzzed from the pocket of his dress pants on the floor Shea glanced over at Riley to find her fast asleep. A quick look at the clock on her nightstand told him it was quarter to twelve, and he carefully pried himself out of her grasp and got up, putting his clothes back on as quietly as possible so not to wake her up. Once he was completely dressed Shea glanced at Riley from the door of her bedroom, he watched her back rise and fall as she breathed, and he debated getting undressed and crawling back into bed with her.
Instead he pulled his cell phone out and turned around, closing the door to her apartment as quietly as he possibly could before he walked to the elevator. He rode down the six floors in silence, and then stepped out onto the street, glancing at the name of the apartment and the street name before he called himself a cab to get back to his hotel. Riley would go back to normal and finish up her schooling and he would go back to Nashville tomorrow morning.
♠ ♠ ♠
Alrightly, another flashback I know. There's a few more bear with them.This one was important because it showed them kind of growing and separating and what not.
Also later tonight I'm FINALLY going to post the first chapter to the Nirvana sequel so subscribe and watch for that:
The Perfect Storm
AND the winner of the pole was Johansen, so subscribe to that story if you haven't it will be out in a few weeks:
Benevolence