Sequel: Weapons of War ›
Seven Year Ache
FIRST TIME
March 2003
“Are you okay?” Shea asked, glancing at Riley for a moment as he drove. She was sitting in the passenger seat of the car staring out of the window, she had shifted away from him when he tried to take her hand and now she wasn’t speaking to him. He didn't know what the deal was, she had been quite their entire date and Shea was at a loss of what was going on.
Riley simply nodded and told him, “Fine.”
Shea sighed and Riley turned to look at him in confusion when he pulled off of the road and onto the shoulder. He put the car in park and turned to her, asking, “What's going on?”
“I said I was fine.” She stated in annoyance.
“You're not. Just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it.” He told her, Riley never lost her tense or annoyed stance and Shea was starting to wonder why he even bothered. She was too damn stubborn.
“You can't fix everything you know.” She muttered, watching as his eyebrow raised. She sighed and told him, “Some things aren't fixable Shea.”
“What does that have to do with me or us?” He asked her curiously.
She sighed loudly, shoved her curly hair behind her ears and asked, “Why are we doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Pretending this isn't gonna end.” She told him.
Shea crunched his eyebrows together and asked her, “I'm not following. What are you breaking up with me?”
“Why are we bothering dragging this out when it's just gonna happen when you get drafted anyway?”
“That's what this is about? Fuck sakes Riley that's not for another...”
When he paused, trying to calculate the months in his head, Riley informed him, “Three months, but who's counting?”
“You're getting so stressed over nothing. Who knows what's gonna happen.” She rolled her eyes when he said this and Shea was getting incredibly frustrated with her. He wasn't sure what he had to say to make her see what he was saying.
“You're gonna get drafted and who knows where you're going to go. I just don't know why we're trying to kid ourselves.”
“Kid ourselves about what?” Shea asked, his voice slightly raised.
Riley sighed before asking him, “What are we gonna do Shea? Long distance while you're in another country? Does that make sense to you?”
“Riley just because I get drafted doesn't mean I'm gonna make the team right out of the gate.” He told her with a pointed look that made her roll her eyes.
“But you might And then what? Who are we kidding Shea we can't do this. You'll be eighteen, are you seriously telling me you want to be tied down to some girl at home during your first season? Are you expecting me to want to long distance with you while I'm still in high school?” Riley asked him, and he knew she had a point. Still, he didn't get to say anything as she continued, “I just think it would be easier to end things now.”
“No, Lindsay thinks it would be easier.” He told her in a harsh voice. When Riley's head snapped over toward him he looked at her and nodded before telling her, “I'm not stupid, you were fine yesterday. I know someone had to have gotten you thinking that and the only person I can think of is Lindsay.”
“It doesn't matter who brought it up first.”
“Like hell it doesn't! Riley if you want to break up with me then do it, but don't do it because someone else thinks you should.” Shea told her in annoyance. He watched in confusion as Riley got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. He watched her start walking down the side of the road before he got out of his car and called out, “Where are you going?”
“Home!” She yelled back, continuing to walk away from him.
“We're like an hour away from your house Riley!” Shea called out, and when she didn't stop walking he let out a frustrated groan. He got back in the car, put it in drive and drove to catch up with her, slowing to a crawl as he unrolled the window and told her, “Get in the car.”
She crossed her arms over her chest but continued to walk as she said, “I'll walk.”
“You're gonna freeze Riley.” He told her, still following beside her in his car. He held his hand out to flip off a car that honked as they went speeding by him.
“It's like minus three Shea I'll be fine.” She told him in annoyance.
Shea rolled his eyes and sped up, turning the wheel to the left and parking the car in front of her he cut her off. He reached out, opened the passenger door before telling her, “Get your stubborn ass in the car now.”
She stood outside, arms still crossed, lips still pursed, and when it was clear he wasn't going to drive away she told him, “Just go home.”
“Not until you get in the car. I'm not gonna be responsible for you getting sick.” He told her, and when she didn't budge he put the car in park and got out. He leaned both of his forearms against the roof of the car and asked her, “What do you want?”
“What?”
It was his turn to roll his eyes at her before explaining what he meant, “Do you want me to break up with you? Because that's not gonna happen. We can talk about it if I make whatever team drafts me but until then I want to enjoy my last few months of high school... with you.”
“Why do you want me? I've never been able to figure that out.” She asked him. Riley prided herself on being tough and independent but in that moment her voice threw her under the bus, all Shea could hear when she talked was her insecurities coming out to play and he didn't like that at all. He wasn't very good at this whole boyfriend thing but the one thing he tried his best to be good at was making sure Riley felt confidence in herself. Before he could respond to her she went on, “You could literally have any girl you want, so why me? I mean, did you think because I'm younger than you that I'd be easy or something? Like I'd be the easiest lay you've had?”
He smiled at her, and she watched him in confusion and anger, all of which subsided when he told her, “If I thought that I'd be gone already. I wouldn't be standing here freezing my ass off arguing with your stubborn ass.”
Riley let out a small chuckle at that, before she asked, “But why? Why pick me out of everyone else?”
“Because for fuck sakes Riley I love you!” He yelled out loudly, slamming his hands on the top of the car, surprising both of them. It was clear in the way his eyes widened and he looked like he might throw up that he hadn't intended on saying anything like that. Riley wondered for a moment if he even thought about that before it came out, and she was just as surprised as he was, she never, ever, expected Shea to say anything close to that nature to her.
“You what?”
He walked around the car, stepped close to her and told her again barely above a whisper, “I love you.”
“You do?” She asked him, looking up into his dark eyes. When he nodded she smiled and said, “Say it again.”
“I love you.” He told her, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up off of the ground. When she let out a squeal he pushed his face into the crook of her neck and spun her around once before he pulled his face out and told her, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“Get back in the car before you get sick.” She told him as he set her down but didn't let go of her. In fact he tightened his grip around her waist to the point where they were completely pressed against each other. He shook his head at her and to make a point she pried herself out of his grasp and stepped around him, dropping into the passenger seat of the car.
He didn't walk away however, instead he leaned one arm on the top of the car and leaned his body into the car, looking her directly in the eye when he told her, “And for the record, yeah maybe I could have any girl I wanted but I chose you Riley. I chose you.”
She smiled to herself as he closed her door and finally walked around to the drivers side, getting into his seat and turning the car on again. He reached over, turned the heat up and then backed off of the shoulder and onto the road, straightening up before he continued the drive back to Riley's house. It was then that Riley said, “Hey Shea.”
He tore his eyes away from the road to glance at her for a second before he turned back to the road with a raised eyebrow, “Hmm?”
“I love you too.” She told him with a grin.
“Really?” He asked, a wide grin on his face. Riley wanted to memorize that smile in this moment, dimple and all. When she nodded he grabbed her hand in his and gave it a tight squeeze.
“For what it's worth, I'm glad you picked me too.” She told him honestly, and he smiled at her. She was often insecure by their relationship, something Shea was aware of but didn't know how to fix, even though he did try. But now she knew how she felt and she knew how Shea felt and in this moment Riley felt like nothing could touch them.
“So I guess I proved you wrong after all.” He told her with a smirk. When she raised an eyebrow at him Shea told her, “That night at the party, you told me you hadn't met a hockey player that wasn't exactly like the last and I told you I'd prove you wrong.”
“I forgot about that.” She told him with a smile. It may have only been six months ago but that party seemed like forever ago. When he grinned again at her she laughed and told him, “Check your ego please.”
He let out a laugh and then as he fell into silence he glanced at her a few times. She caught his glance, gave his hand a squeeze and even at one point leaned over the console to kiss his lips, his eyes turned to the road as she did this. He had half the mind to pull the car over right then and there but he was doing his best to be respectful and he didn't want her to feel pressured into making a decision she might regret later, even if he did hope that she never regretted being with him in that way if she made the decision to take their relationship to that next level.
When Riley pulled back Shea told her, “I love you.”
“I'm glad.”
“And I'm gonna keep telling you until I know you know I love you the most.” He told her, making her giggle. He loved that sound.
She warned him, “I'm never gonna get tired of hearing it you know.”
“Good. I'm never gonna get tired of saying it.” He told her, a smile stretching across his lips at the way she blushed and gave him a shy smile.
He pulled into her driveway, shut the car off and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he walked her to the front door. She unlocked it, reaching into the house to shut the alarm off before she turned back to him and told him softly, “My dad's on a business trip.”
He nodded slowly and told her, “Put the alarm on tonight okay?”
She nodded before she reached out and slipped her hands into his. She looked up at him and said, “You could come in.”
“I could?”
She nodded again before she walked backwards, still holding his hands and pulled him into the house with ease. When the door was closed and they were in the dark she took a few steps forward so that they were practically touching. Riley spoke softly when she asked, “Can you stay?”
He really couldn't, but he didn't tell her that, instead he told her, “I can.”
She took his hand and lead him up the stairs in the dark and into her bedroom. He had never missed curfew before, but there was a first time for everything and this was the best reason to miss curfew. At least in his mind.
There was a crack in the curtains that gave enough light from the moon outside that standing as close as they were they could still see each other. Shea was towering over her, as he so often did, and Riley was looking up at him through her lashes. He leaned down to kiss her softly, and when she stood on her tip toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, he put his hands on her lower back.
They stood like that, wrapped up in each other kissing in her bedroom for so long Shea forgot what the whole point to him coming in was. That was until Riley pulled away from him and dropped back onto the balls of her feet, successfully putting the usual height difference back between their lips. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and criss-crossed her arms to pull her sweater off of her, dropping it onto the floor as Shea's eyes for the first time that she had ever seen wandered below her neck. He smiled gently and then pulled his own shirt off, Riley ran her hands down his chest before they wound around his back and she pulled herself tight against him again.
He connected their lips again and between kisses he told her again, “I love you.”
“Are you okay?” Shea asked, glancing at Riley for a moment as he drove. She was sitting in the passenger seat of the car staring out of the window, she had shifted away from him when he tried to take her hand and now she wasn’t speaking to him. He didn't know what the deal was, she had been quite their entire date and Shea was at a loss of what was going on.
Riley simply nodded and told him, “Fine.”
Shea sighed and Riley turned to look at him in confusion when he pulled off of the road and onto the shoulder. He put the car in park and turned to her, asking, “What's going on?”
“I said I was fine.” She stated in annoyance.
“You're not. Just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it.” He told her, Riley never lost her tense or annoyed stance and Shea was starting to wonder why he even bothered. She was too damn stubborn.
“You can't fix everything you know.” She muttered, watching as his eyebrow raised. She sighed and told him, “Some things aren't fixable Shea.”
“What does that have to do with me or us?” He asked her curiously.
She sighed loudly, shoved her curly hair behind her ears and asked, “Why are we doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Pretending this isn't gonna end.” She told him.
Shea crunched his eyebrows together and asked her, “I'm not following. What are you breaking up with me?”
“Why are we bothering dragging this out when it's just gonna happen when you get drafted anyway?”
“That's what this is about? Fuck sakes Riley that's not for another...”
When he paused, trying to calculate the months in his head, Riley informed him, “Three months, but who's counting?”
“You're getting so stressed over nothing. Who knows what's gonna happen.” She rolled her eyes when he said this and Shea was getting incredibly frustrated with her. He wasn't sure what he had to say to make her see what he was saying.
“You're gonna get drafted and who knows where you're going to go. I just don't know why we're trying to kid ourselves.”
“Kid ourselves about what?” Shea asked, his voice slightly raised.
Riley sighed before asking him, “What are we gonna do Shea? Long distance while you're in another country? Does that make sense to you?”
“Riley just because I get drafted doesn't mean I'm gonna make the team right out of the gate.” He told her with a pointed look that made her roll her eyes.
“But you might And then what? Who are we kidding Shea we can't do this. You'll be eighteen, are you seriously telling me you want to be tied down to some girl at home during your first season? Are you expecting me to want to long distance with you while I'm still in high school?” Riley asked him, and he knew she had a point. Still, he didn't get to say anything as she continued, “I just think it would be easier to end things now.”
“No, Lindsay thinks it would be easier.” He told her in a harsh voice. When Riley's head snapped over toward him he looked at her and nodded before telling her, “I'm not stupid, you were fine yesterday. I know someone had to have gotten you thinking that and the only person I can think of is Lindsay.”
“It doesn't matter who brought it up first.”
“Like hell it doesn't! Riley if you want to break up with me then do it, but don't do it because someone else thinks you should.” Shea told her in annoyance. He watched in confusion as Riley got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. He watched her start walking down the side of the road before he got out of his car and called out, “Where are you going?”
“Home!” She yelled back, continuing to walk away from him.
“We're like an hour away from your house Riley!” Shea called out, and when she didn't stop walking he let out a frustrated groan. He got back in the car, put it in drive and drove to catch up with her, slowing to a crawl as he unrolled the window and told her, “Get in the car.”
She crossed her arms over her chest but continued to walk as she said, “I'll walk.”
“You're gonna freeze Riley.” He told her, still following beside her in his car. He held his hand out to flip off a car that honked as they went speeding by him.
“It's like minus three Shea I'll be fine.” She told him in annoyance.
Shea rolled his eyes and sped up, turning the wheel to the left and parking the car in front of her he cut her off. He reached out, opened the passenger door before telling her, “Get your stubborn ass in the car now.”
She stood outside, arms still crossed, lips still pursed, and when it was clear he wasn't going to drive away she told him, “Just go home.”
“Not until you get in the car. I'm not gonna be responsible for you getting sick.” He told her, and when she didn't budge he put the car in park and got out. He leaned both of his forearms against the roof of the car and asked her, “What do you want?”
“What?”
It was his turn to roll his eyes at her before explaining what he meant, “Do you want me to break up with you? Because that's not gonna happen. We can talk about it if I make whatever team drafts me but until then I want to enjoy my last few months of high school... with you.”
“Why do you want me? I've never been able to figure that out.” She asked him. Riley prided herself on being tough and independent but in that moment her voice threw her under the bus, all Shea could hear when she talked was her insecurities coming out to play and he didn't like that at all. He wasn't very good at this whole boyfriend thing but the one thing he tried his best to be good at was making sure Riley felt confidence in herself. Before he could respond to her she went on, “You could literally have any girl you want, so why me? I mean, did you think because I'm younger than you that I'd be easy or something? Like I'd be the easiest lay you've had?”
He smiled at her, and she watched him in confusion and anger, all of which subsided when he told her, “If I thought that I'd be gone already. I wouldn't be standing here freezing my ass off arguing with your stubborn ass.”
Riley let out a small chuckle at that, before she asked, “But why? Why pick me out of everyone else?”
“Because for fuck sakes Riley I love you!” He yelled out loudly, slamming his hands on the top of the car, surprising both of them. It was clear in the way his eyes widened and he looked like he might throw up that he hadn't intended on saying anything like that. Riley wondered for a moment if he even thought about that before it came out, and she was just as surprised as he was, she never, ever, expected Shea to say anything close to that nature to her.
“You what?”
He walked around the car, stepped close to her and told her again barely above a whisper, “I love you.”
“You do?” She asked him, looking up into his dark eyes. When he nodded she smiled and said, “Say it again.”
“I love you.” He told her, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up off of the ground. When she let out a squeal he pushed his face into the crook of her neck and spun her around once before he pulled his face out and told her, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“Get back in the car before you get sick.” She told him as he set her down but didn't let go of her. In fact he tightened his grip around her waist to the point where they were completely pressed against each other. He shook his head at her and to make a point she pried herself out of his grasp and stepped around him, dropping into the passenger seat of the car.
He didn't walk away however, instead he leaned one arm on the top of the car and leaned his body into the car, looking her directly in the eye when he told her, “And for the record, yeah maybe I could have any girl I wanted but I chose you Riley. I chose you.”
She smiled to herself as he closed her door and finally walked around to the drivers side, getting into his seat and turning the car on again. He reached over, turned the heat up and then backed off of the shoulder and onto the road, straightening up before he continued the drive back to Riley's house. It was then that Riley said, “Hey Shea.”
He tore his eyes away from the road to glance at her for a second before he turned back to the road with a raised eyebrow, “Hmm?”
“I love you too.” She told him with a grin.
“Really?” He asked, a wide grin on his face. Riley wanted to memorize that smile in this moment, dimple and all. When she nodded he grabbed her hand in his and gave it a tight squeeze.
“For what it's worth, I'm glad you picked me too.” She told him honestly, and he smiled at her. She was often insecure by their relationship, something Shea was aware of but didn't know how to fix, even though he did try. But now she knew how she felt and she knew how Shea felt and in this moment Riley felt like nothing could touch them.
“So I guess I proved you wrong after all.” He told her with a smirk. When she raised an eyebrow at him Shea told her, “That night at the party, you told me you hadn't met a hockey player that wasn't exactly like the last and I told you I'd prove you wrong.”
“I forgot about that.” She told him with a smile. It may have only been six months ago but that party seemed like forever ago. When he grinned again at her she laughed and told him, “Check your ego please.”
He let out a laugh and then as he fell into silence he glanced at her a few times. She caught his glance, gave his hand a squeeze and even at one point leaned over the console to kiss his lips, his eyes turned to the road as she did this. He had half the mind to pull the car over right then and there but he was doing his best to be respectful and he didn't want her to feel pressured into making a decision she might regret later, even if he did hope that she never regretted being with him in that way if she made the decision to take their relationship to that next level.
When Riley pulled back Shea told her, “I love you.”
“I'm glad.”
“And I'm gonna keep telling you until I know you know I love you the most.” He told her, making her giggle. He loved that sound.
She warned him, “I'm never gonna get tired of hearing it you know.”
“Good. I'm never gonna get tired of saying it.” He told her, a smile stretching across his lips at the way she blushed and gave him a shy smile.
He pulled into her driveway, shut the car off and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he walked her to the front door. She unlocked it, reaching into the house to shut the alarm off before she turned back to him and told him softly, “My dad's on a business trip.”
He nodded slowly and told her, “Put the alarm on tonight okay?”
She nodded before she reached out and slipped her hands into his. She looked up at him and said, “You could come in.”
“I could?”
She nodded again before she walked backwards, still holding his hands and pulled him into the house with ease. When the door was closed and they were in the dark she took a few steps forward so that they were practically touching. Riley spoke softly when she asked, “Can you stay?”
He really couldn't, but he didn't tell her that, instead he told her, “I can.”
She took his hand and lead him up the stairs in the dark and into her bedroom. He had never missed curfew before, but there was a first time for everything and this was the best reason to miss curfew. At least in his mind.
There was a crack in the curtains that gave enough light from the moon outside that standing as close as they were they could still see each other. Shea was towering over her, as he so often did, and Riley was looking up at him through her lashes. He leaned down to kiss her softly, and when she stood on her tip toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, he put his hands on her lower back.
They stood like that, wrapped up in each other kissing in her bedroom for so long Shea forgot what the whole point to him coming in was. That was until Riley pulled away from him and dropped back onto the balls of her feet, successfully putting the usual height difference back between their lips. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and criss-crossed her arms to pull her sweater off of her, dropping it onto the floor as Shea's eyes for the first time that she had ever seen wandered below her neck. He smiled gently and then pulled his own shirt off, Riley ran her hands down his chest before they wound around his back and she pulled herself tight against him again.
He connected their lips again and between kisses he told her again, “I love you.”
♠ ♠ ♠
And now we get to see the first time Shea realized (and said) that he loves Riley.I just love these two when they're happy so so much.
Also, happy birthday Kelly!