Seven Year Ache

October 2014

“So.” Pekka started, sitting next to Shea at their table. A few of them had decided to meet for lunch after practice, and they were the first ones there so Pekka thought this would be the perfect chance to corner Shea and make him tell him what was going on.

“So.” Shea mimicked as he looked over the menu.

“You and Riley gonna pop out any little ones any time soon?” Pekka asked, succeeding in catching his captain off guard.

“I'm sorry?”

He shrugged, “What? You're twenty-nine. You're not getting any younger man.”

“Neither are you but I don't see you procreating.” Shea fired back.

“Ah, but we're not talking about me.” Pekka told him with a pointed look. They conversation was cut short when James and Mike took the seats across from them. Pekka however didn't seem to care that they had company and he continued to badger Shea, “You guys have been together for how long again?”

“I don't know, seven years?” Shea stated, not lifting his eyes from the menu as James and Mike exchanged looks.

Pekka hummed and asked, “But you've been dating on and off since high school right? So by my calculations that's like... eleven or twelve years right?”

“Sure.”

Pekka rolled his eyes but pushed forward, practically egging Shea on, “Well I mean that's a long time to not put a ring on it so to speak.”

This caught Shea's attention, his head turned to Pekka and he told him, his voice low but smooth, “This conversation about my personal relationship ends now.”

Pekka held his hands up in a surrender fashion and, unable to control himself, stated, “So touchy.”

“Are you asking for me to take a slap shot to your head?” Shea muttered in response.

Pekka made a point to gulp loudly before he opened his menu and pretended to be minding his own business. Mike glanced between the two of them before he joked, “Lovers quarrel?”

Shea rolled his eyes and Pekka simply told him, “Something of that sort would be my guess.”

James let out a chuckle and he made a motion of waving his hand over his head and told Pekka, “That went right over your head man.”

“No, I just prefer to keep my head on my neck thank you very much.” Pekka stated without looking up from his menu.

James looked over at Mike and asked, “Are they always like this?”

Shea rolled his eyes again as Mike shrugged and said, “Pretty much.”

“I resent that.” Pekka stated, closing his menu and setting it at the end of the table. He couldn't stop himself from saying, “I just don't get it is all.”

“Get what?” Mike asked him, more curious in their conversation now.

“What the hell is so great about you?” He asked Shea, who turned to him in confusion. Mike raised his eyebrow and leaned forward on the table, suddenly a lot more interested in this conversation now. Pekka shrugged and explained what he meant, “Twelve years is a long time for a girl to go without a ring. So what's so damn great about you that she's still around?”

“This is so much better than daytime TV.” James stated, making Mike chuckle.

“Are they squabbling again?” Mike's chuckle turned into a loud laugh as Roman asked this, he and Gabriel took the last two seats at the table.

Pekka took a drink of his water and told the entire table, “No, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on between Shea and Riley.”

“Nothing is going on!” Shea exclaimed in frustration.

“Dude everyone at this table, including Neal, knows something is going on.” Pekka told him with a pointed look.

Shea glanced over at James, who shrugged and said, “I'm staying out of this one.”

“What, you guys didn't get into each others business in Pittsburgh?” Shea asked him, half serious and half joking.

James shook his head, “Not particularly.”

“I'm asking for a trade.” Shea stated.

Pekka couldn't stop himself from exclaiming, “He jokes!”

“How do you know it's a joke?” Shea asked him, turning to him with a serious face.

“You wouldn't leave us...except for that one time you tried to sign with the Flyers... good times.” Pekka joked, making guys at the table laugh.

“Do you ever stop talking?” Shea muttered, and when Pekka went to open his mouth he was quick to say, “Bring up Riley or my relationship once more I dare you.”

After a few seconds of silence Gabriel got everyone's attention by saying, “You better watch yourself though...she might just leave you for Seth.”

There was a round of laughter at their table and though he chuckled himself there wasn't a single thing he found funny about that statement. Shea realized after their fight the other night that there was a really big possibility that Riley might actually leave him, and that thought let him feeling helpless. He had no idea how to fix things between them, where to start or where they even went after all of this.

“He's a sneaky little bugger.” Gabriel said, again making everyone laugh.

Mike was the next to talk, trying to take the heat off of his captain for a bit, “So if you're not gonna talk about you and Riley what do you want to talk about?”

“Anything.” Shea stated. He didn't want this lunch cut short, the last thing he wanted was to spend even more time in that house than needed, even with Riley gone. She was right, it was way too big for one person. Shea glanced at James, who was looking at his phone with a smile on his face and Shea asked him, “Quinn?”

James looked up and nodded, “Yeah, she's got the day off and won't leave me alone... Actually she has a couple days off which is weird for her.”

“I figured.” When he said this James raised his eyebrow at him and Shea said quietly, “Riley's on her way there today.”

He obviously wasn't quiet enough when Pekka asked, “Riley's going to Pittsburgh?”

James kept his eyes trained on Shea, waiting for an answer. Eventually Shea nodded and said, “Yeah, I guess her and Quinn have been keeping in touch and Riley needed a couple days away so she went there.”

“Excuse me.” James' chair slid backward and he was already holding his phone to his ear as he walked away from their table and out of the restaurant. Shea could see him standing just outside the door, probably trying to find a quieter place to make the phone call he was making. He watched James wring his hands through his hair as he spoke quickly and Shea wondered what was going on.

There were looks exchanged around the table, no one seemed to understand what just happened. Pekka however was staring at Shea, Riley never, never went away during the season. That information was more odd to him then his new teammates odd reaction to the news of Shea's girlfriend going to visit his own.

Shea wondered by Quinn hadn't mentioned it to James, but there was a lot about James and Quinn that Shea didn't understand. Actually, he thought there was a lot about James and Quinn that even they didn't understand. Ever since she went back to Pittsburgh James rarely talked about her, in fact any time one of the guys asked about her he seemed to dance around the question as best he could. It was confusing enough being an outsider on their relationship, and Shea was beginning to understand how Pekka felt about he and Riley.

Everyone started up new conversations again and as James came back nearly ten minutes later Shea asked him, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it's fine.” He told him with a nod of his head.

“I didn't mean to cause any problems. I figured you knew.” Shea said, hoping he really hadn't caused any issues between the two of them.

James shook his head and assured him, “Don't worry about it man, really.”

- - -

It was two in the afternoon when Riley dropped onto the couch in Quinn's house. She was exhausted from the flight on top of the fight she and Shea had gotten into two nights previous. Quinn took the spot beside her and asked, “Ordering in tonight? We can watch the game and play who's the crazier hockey girlfriend.”

Riley let out a chuckle at that and said, “Sure, sounds good.”

Nixon pushed his nose gently against Riley's leg and she smiled, reached out to pet him and then laughed when he immediately looked at Quinn and let out a low whine. She rolled her eyes and reached out, giving him a scratch behind his ears, which did nothing to perk him up. He ran over to the window, looking outside and Quinn looked at Riley and told her, “He's been like that every time I come home since James left.”

“He's definitely James' dog then?” Riley asked her curiously, Dug was the same way with Shea. Quinn nodded and Riley said, “That's cute.”

Quinn smiled and nodded again. They were silent for a few minutes before Quinn asked curiously, “Not that it's any of my business, or that I mind you coming here by why did you?”

Riley hesitated for a moment before she decided she really had nothing else to loose and told Quinn, “I needed a break... from everything.”

Quinn looked at her and asked sympathetically, “All that stuff you were telling me when I was in Nashville wasn't from early in your relationship was it?”

Riley shook her head and she asked curiously, “Do you ever feel like you don't know where your life as gone?”

“All the time.” Quinn told her and when Riley gave her a look of surprise she said, “One minute I was 18 and then I blinked and the last nine years have been a huge blur.”

“I blinked and my relationship went out the window.” Riley told her softly.

Quinn gave her a sad smile, patted her hand and told her, “Tell me about it.”

“Why did you and James break up? If you don't mind me asking.” She was curious to see if maybe their break up had been a hazard of the game and the stress that came with it or if it had maybe been anything similar to what was going on with her and Shea.

“Uh... we went through a rough patch that we couldn't get out of I guess. He was having a rough season and I was trying to figure out who I was after everything that happened and we stopped...working I guess.”

Curiously Riley asked, “Everything that happened?”

“You don't know?” Quinn asked in surprise. She figured the entire team would know by now, not that she thought James would blab her private life to his new teammates but she figured he might inform a few of them as a way to explain their relationship or lack thereof. When Riley shook her head Quinn told her, “I got sick. Ovarian cancer, and he took on a lot to be with me considering we had only been dating for a year when I got diagnosed. It was really hard for both of us and he had really hard time balancing me and the game, which I think contributed to a lot of our problems later on. There was some resentment on both sides I guess.”

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.” Riley told her quickly, she wanted to smack herself for asking in the first place.

Quinn shook her head and assured her, “No, don't worry about it. It was the longest eight months of my life but I really don't think I could have gotten through it without him. It made me realize how much he really did care for me, not very many guys would stick around to watch that.”

Shea would, Riley knew it.

Riley told Quinn, “Honestly I don't understand the rep that he has.”

“He came by the rep honestly. He got sucked into the life of an NHL star and he'll be the first to admit it. But there was always two sides to him, just like I'm sure there's two sides to Shea; the hockey player Shea and the one you fell in love with.” Quinn told her, giving her a pointed look.

Riley nodded, it was true, and smiled, telling her, “God he was such a dork. It never failed though, he always knew how to make me laugh, and if a laugh didn't make it better he'd throw me in this big bear hug that made everything feel better even if things weren't better. You know?”

Quinn nodded, she knew. She asked Riley, “Do you love him the same way you loved him the first time?”

“I really do.”

“Then you have to try like hell to make it work.” Quinn told her, and when she raised her eyebrow Quinn said, “James and I broke up because we needed the time apart but I've always wondered where we would be if we hadn't. If I hadn't gotten sick, and he hadn't had that bad season and we didn't drift apart.”

“I wouldn't even know where to start with Shea.” Riley admitted sadly.

“Anywhere. Just fight like hell for him, that look in your eyes when you talk about him tells me it's worth it.”

She smiled sadly and said, “It is, I just worry it's not for him.”

“The way he looked at you when you weren't looking when I was there... Riley every girl wants to be looked at like that. James has never looked at me the way Shea looks at you.” This was a surprise to her, she was used to him avoiding her eyes so much that she hadn't seen him look at her in the way Quinn was telling her she did in so long. She didn't know what to say to that, she tried to smile but she couldn't.

“I love him so much yet sometimes I just want to kill him.” Riley stated, knowing that Quinn would take her comment for what it was; an exaggeration.

“True love.” Quinn told her with a grin before adding, “I've never loved to hate someone as much as I love to hate James some days.”

“Men are so frustrating.” Riley muttered and when Quinn nodded she said, “I mean they think we're the complicated ones but all it takes to make a woman happy is communication and attention.”

“And shoes.” Quinn said, the two of them giggling.

Riley nodded and then went on, “Men it's like... where do you even start? You get your own life and you're not around enough, you spend more time at home and you're there too much. They're needy even when they don't think they are, they're frustrating to no end.”

“You can't win with a man.” Quinn told her.

“Truth.”