Don't Mutter

It just couldn’t be helped, I fell asleep within a half an hour of being on the road again. Laying down in the backseat made me feel a little better. I woke up occasionally to Sam and Dean conversing with each other. It was easy to tell they were brothers by the way they talked to each other. Dean was definitely the big brother, he called Sam “Sammy”. He had the big brother vibe too, it was just a feeling. Hours were passing, I noticed it was getting darker outside every time I woke up. I nodded awake again, but I think they thought I was asleep. So I played it off now.

“She’s going to be up all night at the rate she’s sleeping.” Dean spoke.

“Well with what she’s been through I wouldn’t be surprised if she goes right back to sleep once we get to a motel.”

“Did you see her pack away that burger? She wolfed it down faster than me.”

“I was too busy watching for the psycho she pissed off.”

“See, now that was awesome,” Dean said as the car started to slow. We went over a curb, I think he was pulling into a parking lot. The car stopped “You get the room, I’ll park and wake her up.”

The passenger door opened and closed. Sam had left, I’m sure to get a motel room. The car started to move again. Maybe only another fifty feet or so until Dean parked it. He opened his door and climbed out, the door nearest my head opened.

“Hey Evette,” Dean called my name. I opened my eyes, his face was in my view. He looked tired, his eyes were soft. I sat up. “Let’s get you into a bed.” He said as I slid out of the seat. When I stood up and had a look around we were basically in the middle of nowhere with the sun setting in the distance. A cheap motel covered in tan stucco and a red clay roof was in front of us. The parking lot was dirt, and across the two lane highway just a hundred feet or so away was nothing but desert. Sam came up from behind us with a room key in hand.

“We’re in room four.” He declared. They opened the trunk to the car. I had a glance, and inside was an armada of weapons. Guns, knives, cases, and odd symbols painted all over the inside. They each grabbed a duffel bag and closed the trunk. We made our way to the door with a number 4 plaque on it, only a few spots away. The moment Sam put the key in the lock the number 4 plaque fell right off with a clang to the ground. He looked at us and shrugged before pushing the door open. We flooded in the room. The first thing I noticed was the two queen sized beds against the left wall with a nightstand between them. Across the way was an old tv on a dresser. There was a window just to the left of the door with a small bistro table under it. There was a single door on the back wall, that’s definitely the bathroom.

“The front desk told me there’s a few clothing stores in the town about twenty minutes from here, most of them are open until nine. I’m sure you’d like to have better things to wear, if you’re up for it Dean can take you.” Sam told me. I nodded my head.

“What?” Dean was caught off guard hearing his name.

“Taking Evette into town to get some things for herself, I can catch up on lore, call Cas.”

“Fine by me, we can get some food.”

When Dean mentioned food hunger struck me. It had been hours since I last ate. Dean set his duffel bag on the bed nearest the door. Sam unzipped his duffel bag and pulled out a laptop, he set it on the little table.

“Ready to go? You get shotgun” asked Dean. I nodded my head. I followed him out of the room and shut the door behind me. After Dean unlocked the car I opened the passenger door and climbed in. Dean was already starting the car by the time I got the seatbelt on. He backed out of the parking lot and we set out on the road. Five minutes of silence passed, I wish I could just talk. Just have a real conversation.

“So do you like cars?” Dean broke the silence. I half shrugged along with nodding. I think they’re pretty, but I don’t know much about them. I pointed down at the floor of the car, he looked at me trying to figure out what I was asking.

“What you want to know what kind of car this is?” he asked. I nodded my head, he smiled “It’s an Impala, year sixty-four.”

I smiled back at him. His smile was warming, I couldn’t help not to want to see it again.

“And you? What do you usually drive?” he asked. I held my index finger and thumb close together to symbolize “small”. He guessed so many times, so much so it basically took most of the time it took to get into town. It was fun for me, in a way it felt like I was talking to him. He finally guessed that I drove a mini cooper before we parked in a shopping center parking lot. There were multiple stores to pick from. The idea of going to multiple stores for different things made me shudder, until I spotted one with a giant red target on the side of the building.

“Take your pick, I’ll follow.”

Dean followed close by my side into Target. I wanted to make this as painless as possible, I made my way for the clothing right away. I only took clothes from the clearance rack, I held them against me for sizing. I found an identical pair of pants I had bought months ago in a Target in Colorado. I grabbed a couple from the clearance rack because I knew I wouldn’t have to try them on. Just two pairs of pants and two simple t-shirts slung over my arm. I still need underwear and some toiletries. To my surprise Dean followed me to the section with women’s underwear and bras. He hovered near me as I eyed the packs of womens underwear. I looked at him sheepishly.

“Oh, sorry, I’ll stand over there.” He told me, he walked away out of site. I made a grab for the cheeky hipster panties. On the other side of the aisle were all the bras. I just found a simple white one that was my size. I found Dean at the end of the aisle waiting for me. We found deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo, and soap all in the same aisle across the store. Dean got some for himself and Sam.
It occurred to me Sam and Dean would be spending a little over seventy dollars on me. It made me feel guilty really. We waited in line at the only open check out stand, a little old lady was in front of us buying a ridiculous amount of bar soap. Dean set his things on the belt and turned to me. He must have read my face of guilt.

“Don’t worry, no skin off my back.” Dean smiled showing me his credit card and shoved it in his pocket. I was still reluctant to let him pay. So he just gradually took the things from my arms and set them on the belt. The bra and underwear were the last things he grabbed. He read the underwear package and made a slight curvy smile before setting them on the belt. Dean is rather cute, so the small gesture made me smile on the inside.

“Oh you know what? I’m sure those boots you’re wearing aren’t the most comfortable.” he commented. I looked down at my feet. It seems I’m forgetting a lot of things. I’m a mess, now more money is being spent on me. The cashier said they’d hang onto our things while I quickly found a pair of practical shoes. Just some simple black canvas shoes will do. I came back with a shoe box and a package of socks, I set them on the belt. We left right away, Dean was complaining about being hungry again. A little place called Taco Time was sitting in the parking lot, Dean ordered at least ten tacos for the three of us to take back to the motel. His face lit up when they offered complimentary churros. I held the bag of food in my lap, Dean was chewing away at a churro as he drove.

“Those are damn good,” He said crumbling the greasy wrapper that held the churro. I fished out one from the bag and held it out to him, I couldn’t eat it. I’m allergic to cinnamon. “You don’t want yours?” Dean asked. I shook my head.

When we got back to the motel Sam was still where we left him. He looked up at us as we walked through the door. Dean carried all the bags from Target and set them on the bed closest to the bathroom. I sat down in the other chair at the table across from him. I took out three Tacos from the bag and slid them towards him. He smiled and thanked me. Dean disappeared into the bathroom.
“Dean didn’t bully you to get this did he?” Sam raised holding a taco. I shook my head. I could hear water running in the bathroom, Dean emerged shutting off the light.

“Saw a costume store in town, we can have a look in there tomorrow before we go to the church.” Dean said skimming across the room. He came up to the table and took a taco from the bag. I was crunching away as the brothers conversed about not finding anything. Dean asked about Castiel the angel. Sam said Castiel hasn’t found anything so far. I was curious now when he was going to show up again. It was amazing how he just appeared. I have a list of questions to ask him growing in my head.
When I was done eating I decided to take a shower. The hot water running along my skin was soothing, eventually I ended up sitting on the floor of the tub. I curled up and rested my head between my knees. Usually I’d be talking to myself right now, but I couldn’t even do that. Surprisingly I wasn’t able to cry either. It’s like I had no tears. It honestly started to eat at me until I actually cried. I’m losing my mind, I’m making myself cry because I felt like I should be crying. Scraping myself off the tub floor I managed to wash my body and hair. The water was starting to run cold, it was probably time to get out.
I dried myself off and slipped on my new underwear. Since I didn’t grab something to sleep in I ended up getting back in the plaid dress Sam had gotten me. It’ll work as a nightgown I guess. Before leaving the bathroom I brushed my teeth. I came out of the bathroom to find Sam and Dean at the table.

“I was going to eat the last taco but Sam bullied me and said you might want it.” Dean declared to me. I strode across the room and picked up the last taco wrapped in paper. I ripped it in half and held one half out to him. I watched him basically shove the entire half in his mouth, lettuce and cheese fell in his lap. It made me laugh. I took my half and ate it as I walked over to the bed closest to the bathroom.

“Turning in for the night?” Sam asked. I nodded my head and moved the covers to crawl under them. At first I just stared at the ceiling when I laid down. Then I ended up looking at the bare wall turned away from Sam and Dean. Just go to sleep…I told myself. Just go to sleep.