Last to Know

“What do you mean? We've been together for over ten years and you've been cheating on me?!” I could barely contain the rage that was beginning to build up.
“I barely get to see you Matt, you're always out with your friends or at the studio, and whenever you're home you're sitting in your office” Val huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, everything seemed perfectly fine a day ago, what had changed?
“I fucking work to support you, and you throw it back in my face by cheating on me?” My blood began to boil, red covering my vision.
“If I knew you'd ignore me all the time I wouldn't of said yes to dating you all those years ago” That hurt, hell that hurt more than finding out she was cheating.
“I want you out, right now” Her eyes widened at my words, I needed her to leave before I did something I'd highly regret.

She stormed off to our bedroom and began to pack all of her clothes into her suitcases, her words had begun to sink into my skin. How did I not notice the signs?

And then I did, she barely spoke to me when I was home, we never had sex anymore, and the last time I went out with the guys she had gone out too. Except she didn't come home til the next day. The ring I had bought was sitting in a sock in my dresser. Now it was just going to sit there until I could either give it to someone else I loved, or pass it down to someone else who could use it.

“I didn't mean to hurt you Matt” Val mumbled, I couldn't help but glare at her as she stood in the doorway. She willingly cheated because I was making music and yet she didn't mean to hurt me.
“Get out” I kept my voice low, I tended to do it when we were recording to give that haunting type of vibe.

Except right now I wasn't recording music, I was kicking my girlfriend out of my house. The woman I was going to marry and grow old with. It wasn't going to happen now, I was going to stay away from dating until I was old and gray.

Val left without another word, I could hear the faint sound of her tires as she drove away. I never realized how quiet my house was when I was alone. The silence was deafening. How was I going to deal with this permanently?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Matt! Come on dude, open the door!” I had been lying on my couch the entire week, only getting up to walk Bella and to use the bathroom. Not even to eat or shower, I never realized how much Val leaving would affect me.

I pulled the blanket tighter to my chest and rolled over facing the back of the couch. Everyone had been stopping by my house almost routinely to check up on me, of course I hadn't moved or let anyone in.

“You know, you're a real dick” I jumped off my couch only to come face to face with Brian, how in the world did he even get in?
“Will you leave me alone?” I just wanted to wallow in self pity without a damn audience.
“No I won't, you need to actually eat, and shower” Brian wrinkled his nose and took a few steps back.

I had the urge to get up and hug him, make him as pissed off as I was right now.

“Don't forget to wash behind your ears!” Brian yelled as I turned on the shower. I needed to keep from hitting him.

I sighed softly and stripped off my clothes, looking in the mirror I noticed how depressed I looked. My skin wasn't as tan and alive as it normally was. The five o' clock shadow I had was now closer to midnight. Had I really let myself go this badly?

I ripped open the shower door and stepped under the spray, the water scalding the skin on my back. I felt so empty. I grabbed my loofah and began to scrub my skin raw, get rid of every feeling I had for Val. Everything came pouring out before I could stop it, I was on my ass on the bottom of the shower breaking down. I wasn't supposed to be the weak one crying over a woman, I was supposed to be the strong one showing her that I didn't need her. Except I did need her, and she was gone. I was such a crybaby. But even though I tried to stop the sobs that racked through my body, they became more intense. Brian was probably laughing at me from outside of the bathroom.

After what felt like hours, I pulled myself together and finished my shower, now all I had to do was sneak to my bedroom so I could get dressed in peace.
I wrapped my waist with a towel and opened the door quietly, luckily it didn't squeak like it usually does. I could faintly hear Brian talking on the phone as I made my way down to the bedroom.

“He's completely broken, hell he didn't even bother to actually kick me out like he usually would” Brian stopped to let the person he was talking to speak.
I swallowed thickly and leaned against the wall, I was a mess, if Brian could see it then I really was as much of a mess as I felt.
“I was going to take him to lunch so he can at least get some human interaction, but I'm afraid he'll either go off on someone or just become a zombie” Brian looked around the living room and frowned, beer bottles and take out boxes were strewn across the floor and coffee table.
“I gotta go Zack, I'll talk to you later” Brian mumbled a quick goodbye and hung up.

I had to run down to my bedroom and shut the door so Brian wouldn't realize that I was eavesdropping on him. Would I become a zombie if we went out though? I didn't let my mind wander for more than a second before I got out clean clothes, well what was left of my clean clothes.

I pulled on my shirt as I walked down the hall to the living room, the less of my body Brian could see, the better.

“Oh hey, I didn't hear you get out of the shower. Did you wanna go meet up with Johnny and grab a bite to eat?” I could see the apprehensiveness in his eyes, I don't think he wanted me to agree.
“Sure, let me just grab my wallet before we go” I turned to go back down to my bedroom, not before I saw the panic run through Brian's eyes.

It was now or never.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was really good, are you sure you don't want me to pay?” I looked at Johnny expectantly, I had offered to pay multiple times during lunch, he just kept refusing my money.
“No, you and Brian can tip but I refuse to let you pay” Johnny had the checkbook in his hands with a vice grip and refused to set it down unless the waitress came by.

I rolled my eyes slightly and sighed, he'd always been a real pain in the ass. Especially when we had all made plans.

“Fine, I'll tip the waitress and let you pay, are you happy?” I looked between Brian and Johnny with an annoyed expression. Brian still seemed hesitant to have me there, Johnny seemed delighted by my answer.
“Yes I am, thank you Matt” Johnny set down the checkbook and finished the beer he had been nursing.

I jumped slightly as I felt something caress my calf softly, Johnny and Brian weren't paying attention to me so it couldn't of been either of them. Unfortunately I felt it again soon after, except this time it was higher, as if whatever was doing it was trying to reach my thigh.
I sat up higher hoping whatever it was would get the hint and leave. And then it was gone, I felt like I was imagining it completely, hell maybe I was going insane from being inside all the time. Brian and I split the tip and set the money under a napkin, of course we gave a little extra since she was very kind and friendly, it'd help make her day.

“I'll see you guys in a few days, I promised my mom I'd come visit and if I don't she'll give me hell” Johnny chuckled and drove away as Brian and I said our goodbyes.

I really wished he'd left with Johnny, I needed the time alone to think about what I was going to do with all my extra time since I was now a functioning member of society.

“Johnny was flirting with the waitress by the way” Brian mumbled and roughly pushed past me to get to his car. So I was being punished because I was upset? Who was he to get pissed off at me? His girlfriend of over ten years didn't cheat on him, he didn't have to deal with all that bullshit like I did. No, I couldn't think about that right now, especially where everyone could see me.

“That's because Johnny flirts with every cute girl he sees” I shoved my hands into my pockets and went inside to keep from going after Brian. He'd probably go and tell Zack that I was turning into an asshole now. I'd take that over becoming an emotional mess.

I locked the door and shut all the blinds, I needed to get so drunk I couldn't remember my name. At least I stocked up my basement.

“Brian, I seriously think something's wrong, he hasn't moved since we got here” I could faintly hear someone talking.
“He's fine, he drunk texted me last night til three in the morning” Brian's voice had an edge to it, as if he was going to attack me.
“That was last night Brian, this is now and he's barely breathing” Zack on the other hand seemed more panicked than angry.
“I'll fucking wake him up” Before I could register his words an intense pain began to radiate throughout my chest and stomach. I hadn't even realized I was on the floor.
“Brian stop!” Zack yelled and pulled Brian into a different room, leaving me to try to get off the floor without hurting myself further.
“He fucked up Zack, he deserves everything that happens to him” Brian spat angrily, if he were any angrier steam would be coming out of his ears.
“You do realize Val was the one that cheated, Matt didn't cheat” Silence hung in the air, Brian assumed I'd cheat on Val when we had been together for so long?
“He didn't cheat?” Brian's voice was softer, so he did assume I was the one cheating. I'd have to check the texts I sent to him when I didn't feel like shit.

Zack must've taken Brian outside, because when I turned to where they had been standing they were nowhere to be seen. I slowly crawled over to the small trash bin that I had kept in case I needed to write in my living room. Once I had finished puking, I pulled myself up off the floor using the couch and sighed, my ribs were sore since Brian had decided that kicking me there would wake me up. I'd have to wake him up like that next time he passed out at my house.

“Matt, I'm so sorry” Brian's voice broke me out of my daydream.
“You assumed I cheated on her? The woman I gave everything to?” My voice was a lot raspier than it normally was, so I sounded like a chain smoker.
“She mentioned it to Michelle, and that's how it sounded” Brian shrugged and looked down at his feet. I had a serious urge to knock him out.
“She had been cheating on me so I kicked her out, what's done is done and I'm no longer speaking to her” I pushed past him and Zack and went into my bathroom, I needed to get the taste of stale beer out of my mouth.
“You're such an asshole, I told you he never cheated” Zack pushed Brian and shook his head. Brian's just a dumbass for assuming I'd be so unfaithful.

When my mouth only tasted of mint and I had rinsed it about three times I went back out to Brian and Zack, neither of them were speaking. I was sick of people treating me as if I was a child, I was a goddamn adult.

“You don't have to be afraid to talk to me, I'm still the same person” I tried to keep my tone from sounding bitter, if only Brian would actually listen before trying to take matters into his own hands.
“She didn't tell Michelle she was the one who cheated, she just mentioned cheating and that's why she was kicked out, and you've been distant lately” Brian said keeping his eyes cast down, I was afraid of being honest with him now.
“I was going to propose to her, I was trying to plan everything to make it perfect. I have the ring” I said so quickly I was afraid Zack and Brian didn't understand a word I had said.
“Holy shit, are you serious?” Brian's jaw had dropped open, while Zack's eyes were bugging out of his head.
“Yeah, but it's a waste now so I'll probably give it to someone else” I couldn't return the ring, so I could at least give it to someone that would put it to good use.
“Damn, well I'll let Michelle know we had the story all wrong” Brian pulled his keys out and glanced over at Zack.
“Go ahead, just don't tell her about the ring, I don't need Val coming back and begging for forgiveness because she knew I'd propose” I pleaded with Brian, I'd throw the ring out if it would keep her away.
“Don't worry, it's safe with me” I nodded and sighed, time to nurse a hangover for the rest of the day.

Brian and Zack left with quick goodbyes, the silence setting in as Bella and I sat on the couch. What the hell was I going to do?