Last to Know

How was I supposed to face Brian after what had happened last night? I said things no one should ever hear from their best friend or the person they're falling for. I'd probably tell Zack to leave with Brian and come back when I could talk to him without panicking.

“He just wants to talk to you, please Matt” Zack pleaded and clasped his hands together as if he was praying.
“Fine, I'll be down in a few” I mumbled while pulling on my jeans from the night before. I'd just have to do some laundry when they left.

Zack nodded and left, leaving the door open ajar. I debated on throwing a shirt on to prevent the conversation from being more awkward than it had to be, except for the fact that my shirt didn't smell too clean at all. I guess Brian would just have to try and not stare.

I filled the laundry basket with all of my clothes, definitely going to have to split it into two loads so I don't break my washer. As I walked down to the laundry room carrying the basket I noticed Brian pacing the living room, he seemed more nervous than I was. Maybe I should forget about the laundry for now and talk to him before he has a heart attack.

“Brian?” I walked over to him and set down the basket, he seemed startled when I called out his name.
“Matt, I'm sorry about last night, I should've just kept my mouth shut and not said anything to cause turmoil” Brian glanced down at my chest and blushed a deep crimson. I never noticed how adorable he looked when he blushed, okay Matt you're here for a reason, focus.
“Don't be sorry Brian, I should've never said any of the hurtful things I did” I tried to keep my eyes trained on his face but they began to wander over the contours of his body. The V-neck shirt he was wearing showing off his chest.
“I should've just not said anything, things were fine and I had to go and ruin it by opening my mouth, you're not gay, hell you're not even bi, I just fee-” I covered his mouth quickly and sighed, I hadn't sent that text only to have him try and ruin it.
“Are you going to be good and listen to me? Or am I going to have to tie you to a chair and stuff your mouth?” I growled out squeezing his mouth harder.

His eyes widened slightly, a fire lighting in his eyes. Damn, I still got it.

“Sorry, I just thought you were mad at me because of yesterday” He blushed deeper and wiped his palms onto the front of his jeans. Glancing down quickly I noticed that he was hard, at least I turned him on.
“I sent that text for a reason Brian, I clearly wasn't mad” I tried to think of a thousand things to help calm his nerves, unfortunately nothing was coming to mind.
“I know that, but the way things ended last night” He bit his lip roughly and frowned, maybe if I told him he wasn't kicked out of the band he'd stop trying to bite his lip off.
“Brian stop, we both said some stupid things, mine were a lot worse and for that I'm terribly sorry” I placed my hands gently on his shoulders and looked into his eyes, he still seemed weary.
“Fine, I believe you” He mumbled softly and sighed, I had finally gotten through to him.
“You're not out of the band either, feelings or no feelings you're still the best damn guitarist and best friend I could ever ask for” I smiled and pulled him into a hug, his arms slowly wrapping around my own waist.

Zack quietly snuck out of the house with a quick wave and a smile, last night had been replaying in my head since I had been woken up by him. No amount of apologizing would ever take away the everlasting wounds that would forever be in those memories, I was an asshole, and for what? The fact that I was too afraid to admit my feelings for him? I didn't want to let go of an ex who clearly hadn't cared about me, she moved on quickly after I had kicked her out. For fucks sake she was probably pregnant with the piece of shit's kid that broke us up, all I wanted to do was smash his face in.

“Matt, are you alright?” Brian asked holding my face gently. I must've been making some very strange facial expressions.
“I'm just thinking” I swallowed thickly and frowned, it was a miracle Brian couldn't read my thoughts, he'd be scared for my mental health if he could.
“You know if it wasn't for Zack I wouldn't of even come, he dragged me over saying that we needed to 'work out our differences'” Brian chuckled and shook his head, his hands still holding my cheeks.
“That's what Zack does, he tries to make things better by forcing it to happen” I smiled and slipped my hands around his waist. His eyes growing wide instantly.
“He just doesn't want to see us torn apart is all” I pulled his waist against mine, our bodies pressed tightly together. I could smell tobacco along with his cologne.

I could see every little detail there was to him, every freckle on face, the tiniest line in his chest tattoo. The heat radiating from his body pulled me closer, I wanted to feel every inch of his body while hearing him beg for more. I wanted him all for me, I wanted to be selfish and keep him to myself. I wanted to make sure no one else could steal him away from me like Val was taken from me, I couldn't be alone like that again.
Brian wrapped his arms around my neck, his breathing uneven and slow. Our lips were so close, and yet so far.

“Matt, please” Brian begged gripping my hair lightly, I needed to do this right.
“Shh, just relax” I trailed my hands along the waist of his jeans and leaned forward, gently kissing his neck as I popped the button on his jeans. His hands began to shake as he gripped harder, pulling slightly.

I could feel his body begin to tremble as I dipped the tips of my fingers into his boxers, caressing the skin softly. I tried not to overthink and scare myself out of the situation, I had only ever been with women so this was a very big step for me.
The soft moans and hushed curses were the only encouragement I needed. Brian's jeans and shirt were both strewn across the living room floor haphazardly, he refused to let me stay too far behind though. We were both in our boxers on the couch I had called my bed for months, of course Brian would never know that.

“I'm sorry for any pain I put you through, not even because of last night, I couldn't even get over someone that had cheated on me because I was too stupid” I sighed and rubbed my face, Brian looked up at me from his place against my chest. He had most likely heard Val's side of the story since I never shared mine, it was too painful to keep opening up fresh wounds.
“I just didn't want you to kill yourself Matt, you were becoming an emotional wreck and there was nothing any of us could do to help, you snapped on Johnny because he brought up how he had a date” Brian turned so he was lying against me while still looking at me. I hated myself for causing Johnny to nearly run out of the studio, he was excited for his date and I ruined his mood because I was so bitter.
“I made such a mess of that day, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut til he left so he could at least enjoy the date” I shook my head and groaned, I was afraid to date because of reasons like that, I didn't need to terrify some poor girl because I had repressed emotions.

Brian sat up on my waist and placed his hands onto my chest for support, what was he up to?

Before I could get a single word out his lips were pressed against mine, the kiss was soft but held an underlay of dominance. I gripped his hips roughly and moved my lips with his, asserting my dominance to show him who was in control. Things had changed so quickly, the ache that had radiated throughout my body began to fade to a dull ache. I felt better knowing that Brian was around, even if we hadn't been getting along since Val had left.

“Now you're not going to dwell on the past, you're not going to bring up her name, and you're going to stop drinking so much, deal?” Brian pulled away and sat with his waist on my thighs, he knew how to make me feel so much better.
“Fine, I'll be good” I chuckled at the grimace that masked his features, he always hated when I treated him older than he really was.
“You better, or else I'll have to call Zack back over so he can lecture you some more” I groaned and sat up, I'd rather not deal with any of Zack's shit for as long as I could.
“I'll pass on the lecture, for now I'd like to relax with you and enjoy the rest of the day” I wrapped my arms around his middle and smiled, maybe this relationship could really work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you guys are together?” Johnny had been looking between Brian and I for the past twenty minutes.

Word had somehow gotten out that we had gotten together, and since Brian was more angry than shocked we couldn't go out in public right away.

“Yeah, got together last week” I held my hand on his arm gently, now I was the one doing all the consoling in the house.
“Well first of all congrats, second, what the hell are you guys going to say to your parents?” His question caught us off guard. If the media hadn't alerted them first.
“My dad and Suzy already know I'm bi, so I'll have to tell them that we're dating so they don't freak out when Matt and I come to visit together” Brian wrapped his arms around my bicep and curled up into my side, I felt more nervous than I was going to let on. Brian didn't need to worry about me being too afraid.
“We'll tell them tomorrow, pay a quick visit and then finally finish the album” I had to prepare myself for the big reveal, what if they freaked out?

Johnny didn't seem convinced by my idea, I wasn't sure if he was more put off by the idea of us telling our families, or finishing the album finally.

“Make sure no fans see you guys out and about, there's already enough rumors going around as it is” Rumors? What rumors was he talking about?
“What are you talking about?” I sat up away from Brian and leaned closer to Johnny, this was all new to me.
“People are saying you cheated on Val, Zack almost blew up on someone because they said you were unfaithful because you saw us more than Val” Johnny frowned and pulled his phone out, scrolling through the pictures to find what he was looking for.

Even though Val and I hadn't been together for months people were still portraying me as the bad guy, I would never be able to escape the demons from my past. I hadn't seen her since the night I snuck out of Brian's house, she was most likely married at this point and I was being shunned for dating.

“Those people don't know the truth, they can assume all they want about our relationship but they won't know the truth unless we come out” The words were ringing in my head, what would I even identify as? Brian was the only guy I was truly attracted to.
“That's up to you, none of us would force you to tell everyone else the truth anyway” Johnny always knew what to say, even if it wasn't at the best time most of the times.
“We'll see our parents first and then see how things go after that” Brian squeezed my hand and frowned, he seemed more nervous than I was.

I rubbed my thumb along the back of his hand and kissed his cheek, Brian had been staying at my house almost everyday since we had gotten together. Of course he demanded to bring Pinkly with him so she wasn't lonely without her daddy and how could I say no when Brian would whine if I did?

“I'll leave you two love birds to it, just remember to use protection” I groaned and rolled my eyes, okay, maybe he didn't say the right things at all.

Brian and I said our goodbyes as Johnny left, he had a date with another girl, we could only hope that he'd find someone that was worth his time soon.

“I met her, she seemed nice” I shook my head and looked down at Brian, who was currently curled up against my chest.
“Met who? His date?” I asked curiously, Johnny had never brought any of the girls he dated around us unless it was serious.
“Mhmm, she seems really nice too” Brian smiled and looked up at me, maybe this relationship would work out better than I could hope.

~~~~

“I didn't say that! You keep putting words in my mouth that I never said!” I couldn't remember the last time I had ever been this angry, Brian and I had been arguing over something as simple as dinner for the past twenty minutes.
“Yes you fucking did! I triple checked with you and you told me I was right every single time!” Brian yelled back getting in my face, our chests pressed tightly together.
“I did not say that Brian!” I roughly pushed him away and glared, where had all this aggression even come from?

Before either of us knew what was happening Brian was pressed against the fridge, our bodies tight together as our lips moved perfectly together. He pulled away when I slid my hands beneath his shirt, his lips swollen from the passionate kisses. His deep chocolate eyes burning.

“Not that I don't love your hands on my body, I don't think you want the food to burn” Brian said a small smile gracing his lips as he pulled away from me.
“Why are we fighting all the time? I got mad at you for getting the right tomatoes for christ's sakes” I sighed and rubbed my face, I didn't want to deal with this all the time.
“It's because that's what we're used to doing, even before we got together” He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his cheek against my arm.
“I just feel bad getting mad at you over stupid things” I mumbled rubbing his arms lightly, he chuckled and squeezed tighter.
“I still love you” Brian said, a quick kiss on my cheek and he was checking on dinner.

I loved him too, more than he would ever know.