Last to Know

Things between Brian and I had been getting better, we rarely fought and even when we did it was over little things, like Brian forgetting to shut off the tv.

“I think we should have sex, we've been together for almost four months as it is” Except for that, Brian had been trying to get us to have sex for a few weeks. I told Brian we would try when the thought didn't terrify me to the point I had a panic attack, but then again he loved to push my buttons.
“Brian, I don't even know what to do, let alone what to do for you” I hid the blush that was beginning to creep up onto my cheeks behind my jacket, the zipper zipped up completely to my chin.
“I'll guide you through it, come on Matt, I don't want to wait forever” His lip was pushed out into a pout as he wrapped his arms tightly around my bicep. I couldn't deny him any longer, I had been pushing it off for weeks and eventually it was going to hurt his feelings.
“Fine, but if you tell anyone you're not allowed to stay at my house for a month” I looked down at him and smiled at the shock in his eyes.
“Really? We can?” Brian's eyes lit up with excitement, like a child on Christmas morning.
“Yes, just don't tease me too much” I slipped my free arm around his waist and smiled, kissing him softly.

Now time to keep this information away from the guys before they tease me until the end of time.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, I wanna go get the food” Meaghan, Zack's wife, had been complaining at him to give her the keys so she could pick up the food Zack and Johnny had ordered.
“I haven't seen you all day, just five more minutes” Zack wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and pouted, they were such an odd couple.
“I'll be home for the rest of the day when I get your food, now give me the keys mister” She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest as best she could.

Zack sighed and reluctantly handed her the keys, his lip pushed out more.

"I'll be home before you'll even be able to notice I'm gone" Meaghan smiled and kissed his cheek softly before she left. Zack was such a love sick puppy when it came to his wife, it was kind of cute.
"Come on Zack, we have to finish picking venues" Johnny called out to him, hoping to break the trance he was in.
"Fine" He mumbled annoyed, stalking back over to where we all sat discussing venues and dates.

Our parents had taken the news a lot differently than we were expecting, Brian's dad made sex jokes and hugged us both tightly while Suzy was more shocked. My parents were another issue entirely, they didn't believe that we were together, hell we were holding hands the entire time. Yet they refused to believe any of it. I was afraid they wouldn't want to speak to either of us now, I couldn't lose my mom.

“You okay?” Brian asked waving a hand in front of my face, breaking me from the trance I had seemed to be in.
“Yeah, I was just thinking about some stuff”I smiled softly and wrapped my arms around his waist, no need to worry about it right now.
“Alright so we've booked three shows in Cali, and Larry wants us to book another one in Texas since we didn't get to play there last time” Johnny and Arin were both huddled around the list of venues, each pointing out where we could play next.

“What about if we just played two in Cali and go to a state we haven't been to in years?” Brian spoke up quickly, it wasn't unusual for us to play in a state and not visit for quite a while. We had so many places to visit that we couldn't be greedy with one state.
“We could do that, I'm sure Larry would be happy knowing we're seeing more fans too” Johnny picked up the pen he had discarded and quickly wrote down a few cities and states we could attend.

Brian's hand was rubbing my inner thigh softly and slowly, he seemed to be doing it absentmindedly, as if he didn't realize he was doing it. I never noticed just how gorgeous he actually was, I always saw him as my best friend but now he was my boyfriend and there were things I was learning everyday. His dad liked to tease us to no end and try and talk about sex, of course that conversation died before it could really go anywhere. I could just only hope he hadn't said anything to anyone else, the less embarrassment I had to deal with the better.

“Well I can email the list to Larry tomorrow and see if he can get the okay for all the venues, and if some say no we can figure it out” Zack picked up the list of venues and leaned back in his chair, a groan slipping through his lips as he stretched his arms up and over his head.
“Sounds good, Brian and I are going to head home, I need to walk Bella and I'm sure Pinkly is already mad that Brian left her at home” I stood up and laced my fingers with Brian's, a scowl was masking his perfect features.
“Okay, I'll text you when he emails me about the venues, I'm sure our fans will be excited to see the new lovers out on the tour together” Zack laughed and shook his head, he just liked to be a pain in the ass at the worst times.
“I don't plan on groping him on stage you ass, we deserve some privacy” Although I wasn't sure how true my words were, the moment people found out about the relationship there were questions upon questions.

Some were innocent while others were way too personal to the point that even Brian refused to answer any of them, and that took a lot. Brian had a small smile on his face as we drove back to my place, panic was racing through my head, what if I wasn't good enough for him? What if I was just a huge disappointment and he left me for someone that could please him? No, I couldn't think like that right now, I needed to focus on Brian and myself, no, only Brian. The moment the car was parked in my driveway my heart went into overdrive, this was it, tonight Brian and I were going to 'make love' for the first time. God I was going to freak myself out before we can even start.

“I'll be in the bedroom, come an see me when you're ready” Brian kissed my cheek softly and swiftly slipped out of the car, his words running through my head.

I waited until I was sure Brian was inside and possibly naked in my room. The thought of Brian stripped naked sprawled across my bed caused my breath to hitch in my throat, that man was going to be the death of me. I took a slow deep breath and went inside, the house was quiet. The only sound that could be heard were the two dogs in the back yard running around.

The bedroom door was open slightly, biting my lip softly I looked inside, Brian was curled up under the sheet. His breathing was slow and calm, had he fallen asleep before I even made it inside? Pushing the door open more as I went inside I watched Brian, he rolled onto his back and watched my every move with dark eyes. His eyes were smoldering, the only emotion I could see in those eyes was lust.

“I thought you weren't going to come inside, I almost fell asleep” Brian's tone was deep, though light enough that I could hear the teasing.
“I was trying not to freak myself out, don't need to upset my man before I can please him” I pulled off my shirt and walked over to my side of the bed, if I could make it feel more comfortable maybe I wouldn't freak out.
“Oh, Matty” Brian smiled and shifted the blanket higher up onto his lap. From what I could tell he was stark naked, his skin glowing in the setting sun.
“Just relax, I want to make sure things go well” I slipped off the rest of my clothes and laid down onto the bed with him, fear gripping my heart tight.

I gently placed my hand on his cheek and scooted my body closer to his. I couldn't let fear take over, Brian had been patient the entire time and I knew that by pushing it off it was only going to get worse.

“I'm ready, just be gentle” Brian whispered against my lips, his tone breathless.

Biting his lip softly I pushed him down onto his back, crawling on top of him as I did. Our bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces, now I was more afraid I was going to hurt him too much.

“Matt, please” Brian grinded his hips against mine, effectively getting my full attention.

I kissed him softly and grabbed the small bottle of lube I always kept in my nightstand, Brian was too oblivious to notice. I slicked myself up and tried to keep my breathing even, I hadn't been with anyone in so long that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to last long at all.

Shaking the doubts from my mind I gripped onto his hips tightly and pushed in slow, the heat engulfed me like a tight warm hug that you never wanted to let go from. Brian's voice hitched slightly, his hands gripping my shoulders tight in a vice grip. I needed to keep my head on straight, even if I wanted to go insane.

~~~~~~~~

“You were incredible, are you sure I'm the first guy you've ever been with?” Brian was laid against my chest, the sheets thrown across our naked bodies haphazardly.
“I'm sure Brian, Val was the only person I had been with ever” I trailed my fingers along the curve of his back and smiled as he shivered.
“Well it was amazing and I'd do you again in a heartbeat, except for the fact that I'm exhausted and I don't want to push you too much for one day” Brian mumbled as he yawned, his eyes locked onto the tattoo branding my chest.
“If I could actually get it up again I'd go again in a heartbeat, but you wore me out” I was sure we wore each other out, Brian collapsing onto the bed afterwards was more than enough of a sign that he needed sleep.
“Then we'll sleep and have another go at it tomorrow” I pulled his body closer to mine and smiled, it was all about taking baby steps, that's all.

I looked down at Brian when he didn't respond only to find him fast asleep, he looked so much younger. His features were so soft. Okay, Matt, you can look at Brian all you want in the morning but right now you need some sleep. I yawned and scooted down so Brian was laying against my shoulder instead of my chest. A small whine slipped through his lips before he shifted his position, gripping my waist tighter than before. I couldn't help but smile at his actions.

“I love you Brian Haner, don't you ever forget that” I whispered softly, he made no move to speak to me and that let me know he was truly asleep.

Slipping my eyes closed I let sleep take over my body and mind, things were going to get better.

The sun shining in from the window was blinding, why hadn't Brian gotten up and closed the blinds yet? Wait a second.

I sat up quickly to notice that Brian was nowhere to be found, the bed was empty, and there was no note on the nightstand. Had he left because of last night? Did I scare him off by telling him I loved him? Oh god what if he heard me say that and he wasn't ready?! Calm down, you're going to give yourself a headache Matt.

I pushed the blanket off myself quickly and stood up, his clothes and phone were gone, did he call someone to come pick him up from my house? He had been letting me drive him around for the last few weeks, so none of his cars were at my house. Bella was at my feet whining, she must've needed to go out still, that would help clear my head so I didn't freak myself out anymore. I pulled on the clothes from the day before and grabbed her leash, Bella barked excitedly and ran down to the living room. I couldn't help but chuckle at her, she loved going outside when it was nice outside. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I noticed that Brian was sitting on the couch, his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

“Brian?” I spoke nervously, I was afraid he was going to either blow up on me, or break up with me.
“Hey, I wanted to talk to you” Brian didn't look at me as he spoke, his eyes were trained on a letter that was sitting on the table. What in the world?
“What's wrong?” I went over to him slowly and sat down on the edge of the seat. What had made him so paranoid? No he wasn't paranoid, he seemed upset.
“We've been invited to the wedding” His words slammed into my heart, she invited us to her wedding knowing what she had done to me? Was this giving her a sick sense of pleasure or something?
“I'm not even surprised, she's been known to make people suffer” I wrapped my arm tightly around his waist and sighed, I'd most likely have Michelle relay the message that we wouldn't be going.
“I think you should go, show her that you're actually happy now, even if you're with someone she would least expect” Brian turned his gaze onto me, it would be fun seeing her reaction when she saw Brian on my arm instead of a woman she didn't know.
“Only if you're sure, you'd be my date” Brian's eyes widened at my statement, did he honestly think I'd go alone?
“You'd really want me to go with you, even if I'd obviously be stealing all the attention away from her?” Brian's smirk caused me to laugh, he could be so egotistical, but it was true.
“We could even sneak off to the bathroom when no one's looking, and I could ravage your body while you scream my name” I spoke slowly, my voice dropping as I slid my hands over his waist. Listening to the noises he made always got me feeling so hot.
“Oh Matt, please” His voice was breathless, the obvious bulge in his jeans quickly giving away how he was truly feeling.

I smirked and yanked off his shorts and boxers, I was going to please him as much as I could, this was all too new to me. I gripped his hardening cock and chuckled at the choked gasp he let out, he had always been the one to go down on me, and now I wanted to return the favor to show him I did care.

“I seriously love you, like more than I ever thought, and this isn't because you just gave me head and then we had sex by the way” Brian and I were cuddled up on my couch with a blanket thrown over our naked bodies.
“I know Brian, and I love you too” I held his cheeks and kissed him softly, our chests pressed together.
“Her wedding's next month, are you sure you want to take me?” I furrowed my brows and looked at him confused.
“Of course I do, I'd like to take my gorgeous boyfriend to show my ex that I'm way happier than I have been in the last twelve years” Brian's eyes lit up, I don't think he was expecting me to be as honest as I was.
“Are you serious?” Brian propped himself up against my chest and smiled.
“I am, I think the only reason we even stayed together was because you were with Michelle and she didn't want to make things awkward, but now we're together” I held my hands on his arms and smiled. I just wanted him to know how much I cared about him. Even if I had to use sex to really show him.
“So we'll send back our RSVP to let her know that we are attending, god I can't wait to see you in a suit” Brian bit his lip softly and ran his hands over my chest and down my arms.
“You're one to talk, I won't be able to keep my hands off you the entire time” I laughed as a blush covered his cheeks, for someone who talks dirty all the time he sure was a blusher. I liked it though, it let me know I could give him butterflies with just a few words.
“Oh stop it” He smacked my arm and buried his face into my chest, effectively hiding his face so that I wouldn't be able to see him blush.

Moments like these were when I wish I had a camera to take a picture of who Brian truly was, sure their was the Brian that everyone saw when he was on stage but this? This was Brian when he was around someone he loved, and that made my heart soar. And yet, I wouldn't want anyone else to see him like this either, I wanted to keep Brian all to myself so no one else could experience the things we did. I was undoubtedly in love with Brian Haner Jr.