Last to Know

“Holy shit” Zack's breathless voice caused fear to run hot and fast through my veins, was I making a mistake?
“I knew that if I talked to Johnny he'd tell Brian” The ring sat in the small velvet box, mocking me.
“He's going to love it, he loves you Matt, hell he was willing to keep the relationship under wraps so it wouldn't freak you out too much” Zack had been supportive from day one, he hadn't spoken to anyone after we got together, he made sure to tell everyone we were just simple friends and nothing was going on between us until Brian and I would announce it.
“I just want to be sure, what if he doesn't want to get married? This is going to be something that could go off without a hitch or cause a mental breakdown” I closed the velvet box and once again slid it back into my pocket. Brian had been completely oblivious to the ring since the day I had bought it.
“So how are you keeping it hidden from him? I've seen how...close you two get at times” I couldn't help but blush, I never thought the guys would watch how Brian and I were when we assumed we were alone.
“I'll hide it in the last place Brian would think to look, my office” I stood up, planning to hide the ring before Brian could find it.

Zack seemed confused when I stood up, Brian never went into my office unless I was in there, he said it was my “private lair”. Not that I minded, it gave me time to unwind and focus on things without Brian trying to get into my pants. Granted I never minded when he would crawl under the desk and give me head while I was writing.

“Well since I'm sure he'll be home soon I'll let you go do that” Zack set down his beer and stood up, oh shit, he was right.
“Alright, I'll see you later dude” I bid Zack a quick farewell and ran down to my office, I needed to hide the ring before he got home.

I hid the ring in the back of my lyrics drawer and decided to pick up around the house, Brian usually did all the cleaning so I felt it was my time to clean. I had the entire house cleaned and dinner, or what was supposed to be dinner prepped and Brian still wasn't home. I had rung his phone a hundred times with no answer, he must've been hanging out with Johnny again.

I yawned loudly as I watched the time pass on the clock, it was almost two in the morning when Brian's car pulled into the driveway, what had he been doing? The front door slammed open, followed by murmured whispering, was he with someone?

“Brian, he's going to be pissed” Johnny's voice was soft, so he was with Brian.
“What he don't know won't hurt him” Brian's voice was thick, he sounded drunk.

Johnny sighed and pulled Brian further into the house, freezing when he saw me standing next to the couch, I wanted answers.

“What did he do” It didn't come out as a question, it came out as more of a demand.
“Matt!” Brian gasped and pulled himself away from Johnny instantly, fear was gripping my body tight.
“Go on and tell him” Johnny crossed his arms and stepped away from Brian so he wasn't leaning on him.
“I...I cheated Matt, I'm so sorry” Brian lowered his eyes so they were focused on the floor.

I could feel my heart crack and shatter inside of my chest, it was happening all over again. What had I done wrong this time? Was I moving too fast for Brian and he felt intimidated? Were his feelings for me real? What did I do?

The house was silent, save for Brian's nervous breathing and Johnny's soft sigh every now and then.

“Leave, both of you” My voice held no anger, no malice, it held no emotion at all.

Johnny frowned and gripped Brian's arm, pulling him towards the door, he didn't give a fight at all. I wanted to scream, I wanted to punch his face in, hell I wanted to kill the person he cheated with. Except nothing ever happened, I stayed rooted to the spot I stood in, tears pricking at my eyes. I was a foolish idiot to believe that Brian would be with me, everyone left sooner or later.

I swallowed the pain that was creeping up my chest and laid down on the couch, the same couch I had cried on when Jimmy passed away, when I found out Val was cheating on me, and the same couch that I would cry on again.

~~~~~~~~

Sunshine was pooling into the living room from the blinds that had been left open from the night before, I hadn't bothered to shut them. If my neighbors saw me crying on my couch then they'd just have to deal with it. Zack had called a few times throughout the night, Johnny had let me know that Brian was at least safe and not out drunk driving. And as much as I wanted to beat him to a pulp it helped me feel better knowing he wasn't going to hurt himself. No, he was just going to hurt me. I needed to get my mind off this, I couldn't let him tear me down the same way Val did, I refused to let that happen.

I just only hoped that Johnny or Zack would keep him away so I could clear my mind instead of falling into a never ending void. A jog on the beach should help, it'd be early enough that the beach wouldn't be crowded, and I know for a fact Brian wouldn't be there either.

I pulled on a loose pair of basketball shorts and thought to forgo the shirt, I'd just get sweaty and have to peel it off once I got home as it was. Bella was asleep at the end of my bed with Brian's shirt strewn across the end of the bed. I'd have to remember to pack any of his stuff and give it to him when I got the chance. The air felt thick with humidity, it wasn't normally so warm in the morning, was it planning on raining later? I didn't dwell on the fact, I just shook my head and began my jog.

~~~~~~~~~

Bella was asleep across my lap while I snacked on a bowl of pretzels watching The Notebook, I knew it was stupid to bring up old feelings, but I felt comforted by it. Even if those feelings were only about Brian. I didn't want to think about him anymore, even though my heart was telling me to call and forgive him. My brain was telling me to stay where I was and enjoy the day.

“Except for the fact we start touring in a few days” I mumbled to no one except for myself. Bella's ears perked up as she stretched out more.

Would I be able to face Brian without those feelings coming back? No I couldn't, they'd hit me like a tidal wave and I'd break down in my bunk on the bus. I wasn't even sure he felt any remorse, Johnny was the one who had forced him to tell me that he had cheated in the first place. I'll talk to Zack, let him know the situation and make it known that no matter what I am not going to speak to Brian. He didn't deserve my forgiveness, he knew what happened between Val and I and yet he still cheated. He still tore my heart out and stomped all over it as if it meant nothing to him.

“Matt!” I stopped in my tracks as that all too familiar voice echoed across the beach. If I ignored him, then he wasn't there.

I sighed deeply and began jogging again, sweat was running down my chest like a river. Just ignore him Matt, he's not there because he cares. The sound of the waves crashing helped bring me back down to reality, that is of course until I felt an arm tugging at my shoulder. I couldn't stop now, because if I did I'd face the man who was slowly breaking my heart.

“Matt please” Brian's voice sounded broken, as if he had spent the entire night crying like I was. I stopped abruptly and narrowed my eyes at the sand, I refused to face him.
“What do you want Brian? I need to get back home and let Bella out” I clenched my fists and ground my teeth together, this could go one of two ways. Me ignoring him and going home and him accepting that I didn't want to speak to him, or an all out brawl.
“I just want to talk, please” He kept his grip on my shoulder and pleaded.
“There's nothing to talk about Brian, you cheated, end of story” I pulled my shoulder away from his grip and started the journey back to my house, pain and heartbreak overtaking my emotions.
“He drugged me, I thought he was a fan that wanted a picture and an autograph, but instead I woke up in a hotel bed, I spent the entire day drinking because I knew once I told you that you'd never believe a word I said” Brian stopped and wiped his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“I called security when I found his name, they asked if I wanted to press charges and I did, hell I have to go to court the day we come home, but you won't be there” Brian dropped his arms to his side and frowned.
“You'll be at home with Bella, wondering why I was such an asshole, why I hurt you the way she did” Brian's words tore me apart, why would he lie and say he cheated if he wasn't even conscious?
“Then why did you lie?” I turned to face him and winced, he looked sickly, had he even eaten these past two days.
“You wouldn't of believed me if I told you some weird fan took me to their room while I was drugged up and had their way with me, hell who would believe a story like that?” I couldn't help but feel pity towards Brian, I could've been more understanding. Except he hadn't told me the truth when Johnny and him were in my house.
“Just go home, I need to let Bella out before she makes a mess” I turned to the direction of my house and willed my legs to push forward, I could hear the gasp that slipped through his lips.

I knew Brian was telling the truth, he was never one to lie when something was serious. I just couldn't deal with the heartbreak any longer, I needed to be alone until we had to leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~

*BPOV*

It seems as quickly as the relationship started, it was ended. I wanted to call Johnny and talk to him, but I knew he would most likely be spending his last few days before the tour with his girlfriend, and the last time I interrupted that he nearly bit my head off. I'll just have to bite the bullet.

“What the fuck do you want” Johnny's voice was breathless with and underlay of anger. Yup, he was definitely with his girlfriend.
“I needed to talk to you” I couldn't tell him I ran into Matt when I was sitting on the beach today, he'd kill me ten times over.
“Seriously? You know not to call me before at least ten, and it's clearly only eight thirty seven right now” Was it really that early? I must've been on the beach for hours before Matt came by. In all his sweaty glory.
“I know, but I saw Matt when I was sitting out on the beach, and he..” I felt my throat get tight, I didn't want to repeat the words that were on the very tip of my tongue.
“Oh shit, Brian” I could hear what sounded like a bed and sheets shifting in the background. Soft whispers, and soon enough another voice was on the phone.
“Johnny's coming to pick you up, are you still on the beach?” Her voice was soft and sweet, I felt comforted by it.
“Yeah I am, just tell him to call me when he gets here” I tried to keep the malice out of my tone but it was so damn hard, I wanted to go to Matt's house and yell at him. Make him feel as worthless as I did right now.

He probably did, hell I had done the very same thing his ex did that caused him to become an emotional wreck for over six months. The same man that used to call me up if he was having problems with Val, the man who would knock anyone out if they went after me. The man I had fallen utterly in love with.
I stood up from where I had been sitting on the sand and headed in the direction of Matt's home, I knew it would be foolish to go there and face him when the pain was so fresh, but damnit! I needed to talk to him. As long as he was home I would talk to him.

The house was dark and empty when I arrived, he'd most likely call the cops and demand his key back when he got home and realized I was there. That was if he didn't beat the shit out of me beforehand. I walked throughout the house and sighed, I was spending so much time here that I could place everything, every little detail. I had always been curious about his study though, I knew it to be his personal space so I never went in there but I wanted to so bad, I wanted to see what Matt hid from the rest of the world.

Opening the door I gasped softly, every magazine cover we had ever done was hanging on the walls, every achievement we had, our lives were on this wall. No wonder he liked to keep it hidden from the world, it was spectacular. I couldn't help but look around the room as I stepped further inside, pictures of Jimmy were on the desk, if only that man were here to help us, he'd set us straight. Except he wasn't here, and I had ruined the relationship between Matt and I. I bit my lip softly and sat down in the leather chair, this must've been where he sat to write. I wonder if he kept any of the old lyrics we all decided didn't fit the album. I stifled through the drawers until I saw pages of what looked to be lyrics, something was holding them down in the back though, what in the world? My heart leapt into my throat as I held the velvet box, was this the ring he was going to propose to Val with? Once I had opened the lid I knew it wasn't meant for Val, the ring was smooth, a small inscription written along the inside.

“My Forever” I felt tears slide down my cheeks. Matt was going to propose and I had fucked it all up.

The front door slammed, followed by a dog's bark. Shit, Matt must be home. Oh god if he finds me in his study, hell if he finds me in his house I'm fucked. I threw the ring back into the drawer and stood up, where could I go without getting caught by him? The guest room! Matt hadn't been in there for a few days and I highly doubted he planned to go in there today.

I tip toed down to what I assumed to be the guest room and snuck inside as I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. Shit, I was in Matt's room instead, when did he swap the rooms? I ran over to the closet and slipped inside, thank god this man never, or at least rarely used this closet.

“Bella calm down, Brian's not here” Matt stopped by the dressed and sighed, his chest still bare, goddamn that man was gorgeous. I just wanted to kiss every inch of his body and let him ravish me, stop, no time to think about stuff like that.
“Go downstairs, Zack's coming over” Matt ordered her and closed the door once she was downstairs. Oh shit.

Matt plopped onto the edge of his bed and sniffled, his eyes rimmed red with tears, oh Matt please don't cry. He laid back on the large bed and rolled onto his side, his back facing the closet I had currently been hiding inside. I noticed his shoulders were shaking, was he crying?

“What did I do wrong? Why did he have to hurt me like she did?” His voice cracked with tears, I wanted nothing more than to comfort him.
“Matt!” Zack's voice caused both Matt and I to jump. He needed to stay downstairs so he didn't suspect I was here.
“I'm coming!” Matt stood up quickly and wiped his cheeks, pulling on a shirt that was on the end of his bed. It looked old.

Once Matt was out of the room and downstairs I could finally breathe easier, I didn't have to worry about him opening the door. I opened the door slowly and stepped out, if Bella saw me she would instantly start barking and give me away.

I could hear Zack and Matt talking as I reached the bottom of the stairs, it sounded like they were talking about me.

“So what's going to happen now that you guys aren't together?” Zack sipped the beer in his hand and cleared his throat, tension thick in the air.
“Well I'm just going to do the tour so we can see the fans, I know they're going to expect Brian and I to basically molest each other on stage, it's just not going to happen” Matt finished the beer that was in his hand and picked up an unopened bottle that was on the table.
“I don't mean to get inbetween you two, but from what Johnny told me he sat up the entire night just staring out the window” Goddamnit Zack! Why did he have to tell Matt about that?
“What do you mean?” Matt set down his bottle and scooted to the edge of his seat. I swear to god Zack.
“He told me he just sat there, staring out at the ocean as if it was going to bring you back, he knew you weren't going to talk to him anymore” Zack looked over to where I was standing and nearly choked on his beer. My eyes went wide with fear, oh god, he couldn't let Matt know I was inside!
“I just didn't know what to do, how would you react if Meaghan told you she had cheated on you?” Matt completely disregarded what I had said to him on the beach, he only heard that I had cheated.
“If someone had attacked Meaghan and made her think she cheated I wouldn't leave her Matt, she's my wife and we go through struggles all the time, an asshole who rapes people wouldn't take her away” I knew Zack was referring to what happened to me, I felt comforted by the fact Zack cared so much about me.

Matt stopped and stared at Zack, mouth agape. I don't think he was expecting Zack to bite back as hard as he did.

“I still love him” Matt's voice was barely above a whisper, a frown etched onto his beautiful face.
“I know Matt, you just need to trust Brian, he's not like Val, he isn't going to willingly cheat on you because you're being a faithful boyfriend” Zack stood up and pulled his keys out, his eyes glancing over to me.
“I'm trying” Matt sighed and rubbed his face.
“Well try harder, you don't want to lose the one person whose your true love, now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my wife” And with those words Zack was out of the house, a light cheery feeling was in the air.

I breathed a very quiet sigh of relief, now all I had to do was sneak out and make sure Matt didn't know I was here at all.

“I know you're there Brian” Shit.