Goodbye

I fell in love with a man who’s heart was supposed to belong to someone else. The only way could defend my actions was I loved Brayden long before Devon did. I fell in love with him when I was twenty years old when he was traded from the Kings to the Flyers. I met him at charity event and was awestruck by his charm. I wish I would have had the courage to ask him out, but instead I let him slip away and fall in love with another girl. It was terrible being friends with him and watching him love a girl who didn't deserve. Somehow on a drunken night everything changed when I ended up in his bed.

Brayden Schenn was engaged to marry Devon Jameson in four months, and somehow we were both curled up naked in my bed. Like we had been constantly for the last six months. I felt terrible I was having an affair with him, but I was in love with him and somehow I thought that made it okay. My stomach twisted in knots at the thought of me being the other women. I hated the fact that he was cheating on her with me, but I was in love with him and I couldn’t help it.

I reached out and laced my fingers with his calloused fingers and moved his hand slowly towards my lips. I lived for these moments when just laid here naked in pure bliss. It was moments like this I felt like everything was perfect, but that was just a daydream. We were far from perfect, when your entire relationship has to be a secret that is far from perfect.

I stared at the clock that was across the room wondering how long until she called wondering where he was. Her phone calls always ruined our moment. Every time the phone rang and her name popped up on the screen I would beg him not to answer, and just stay in bed with me.

Every time he would hang up the phone that meant he would be leaving me alone again, and I would cry quietly to myself that he was never fully mine, I just borrowed him from time to time from a girl who was too wrapped up in herself to realize he was in loved with someone else. Devon had no clue what was going on with Brayden and I, she always just thought he was too wrapped up in hockey.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he looked up at me.

I didn't say anything I just smiled at him. He told me this every chance he got. He always said the sweetest things to me because I knew he was trying to make sure he didn't end this.

“Brayden if you’re going to get married why do you sleep with me?” I asked wanting to know how he was in love with both of us.

“Because I'm in love with you,” he said rolling over on his side to stared into my brown eyes.

“If you love me how are you still with Devon,” I hated saying her name it made my stomach feel like it was twisting in knots.

“I’ve been with her for three years, I just don't know how to end it,” I could tell by his voice I was telling the truth.

“Do you love her anymore?” I was scared to know his answer.

He shook his and I almost felt relieved.

“Does she love you?”

“She tells me all the time that I’m her world and that she doesn't know what she would do without me. That's why I can't leave her.”

My heart dropped because he admitted that he couldn't leave her. I knew deep that down inside that he was probably never going to leave her, and that this twisted little affair would only last until right before the wedding. Then I would end things broken hearted and try my hardest to move on with my life.

Before I could say anything his phone started going off on the night stand. He let out a yawn and reached over and picked up his phone and saw her name on the screen.

“Don't answer it,” I said almost in a begging tone I wasn’t ready for him to leave me again.

“Daisy I have to,” he said giving me a saddened look.

“No you don't,” I whispered as my eyes started to water.

“Hey babe,” he said as he closed his eyes tightly as if he was trying to block me out. “Sorry I went over Luke’s’ house after practice. Yeah I know it's late. We just got to talking and watching hockey highlights,” he said lying.

I slowly got out of bed and reached on to the floor and grabbed my undies and walked over the back of the door and grabbed my robe. I couldn't sit there and listen to him lie to her.

I walked into the bathroom to wash my face. I longer I sit there and listen to him talk to her the more my eyes start to water.

Standing in front of the mirror I look and don’t recognize the girl In front of me. This girl isn't strong or independent she left relying on a guy who is never going to be fully there for her. I close my eyes for a moment and walk out of the bathroom to find him sitting on the edge of the bed dressed and tying his shoes.

“So you’re just going to leave?” I asked already knowing the answer.

“Daisy I have to,” he said reaching out to grab my hand, but the second he touches it I pull away quickly.

“I can't keep doing this. I can't love someone who is too much of a coward to leave someone they don't even love anymore. This isn't fair to me and it isn't fair to Devon either. You aren’t allowed to have your cake and eat it too.”

“Baby,” he said reaching out for me again.

“Don't call me that,” swatting his hand away. “I’ve given you the best of me for the last six months and I’m never going to get the best parts of you. I'm so tired of feeling broken every time you get up and leave to go back to her,” I felt as if my heart was crumbling into a million pieces as I was ending things between us.

“It's not that easy to end things with her. We’ve been together for three years.”

“Well I can't be other women anymore,” I declared as tears started to slide down my cheek.

“Please don't end this,” I could hear the desperation in his voice.

“Bray you can't give me what I need as long as you’re with her,” the tears continued to pour down my cheek.

“Just give me time I can end this,” he continued to plead.

I shook my head knowing what he was trying to do.

“Brayden we both know the closer its gets the wedding the worst it will look if you call off the wedding. Let's just end this now before we get more hurt then we are right now,” I sighed moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I don't love her anymore, but I care about her too much end the engagement. If I call off the wedding she'll be devastated and embarrassed,” he said sitting now next to me.

I scooted away from him not wanting to be anywhere near him right now. I didn’t want this conversation to turn into him justifying why he was going to stay with her. I was hoping somewhere deep down inside that he would be telling me why he was choosing me over her.

“If you loved me like you say you do you wouldn’t be justifying to me why you have to stay with her. You would be telling me right now that you love me, and that you choose me right now.”

I couldn’t believe my life had come to this, me being in love with a man who heart was supposed to belong to someone else. I should of never slept with him on that drunken night we were hanging out at the bar with Luke. I should of just asked Luke to take me home instead of Brayden. Then neither of us would be heartbroken.

“Daisy you know I love you,” he said wrapping his arms around me pulling me into his chest.

“If you loved me you would of just broke up with Devon months ago,” I sighed against his chest. “Brayden I think you should leave,” I said pulling away from him.

“Daisy please don’t do this,” he said standing up.

“If you’re going to stay you’re staying because that means you’ve picked me, but if you walk out that door that means you’ve picked her and we’re done,” I said as tears slid down my cheek.

“Daisy,” he said with his eyes starting to well up with tears.

“This is goodbye Brayden, I hope she gives you everything you want in life,” my heart felt as if it was shattering into a million pieces as I closed my eyes tightly trying to prevent more tears from falling. I was trying to be strong, but it wasn’t working.

“I can’t change your mind can I?” he asked standing in front of me.

I shook my head knowing that if I said anything my heart might betray my body and say yes. I needed to stay strong and end this.

“I wish we could of started this before I got together with Devon,” he said reaching out and resting his and on wet cheek that was stained with tears.

“I wish I would have had the nerve to ask you out the day I met you at the charity event.”

He wrapped his arms around me and tightly pulled me into his chest. We didn’t say anything for a long minute as we just hugged for a long minute.
“I love you Daisy Jones, and even though I can’t be with you. I want you to know that I will always love you,” he said before pressing his lips to the top of my head.

“I love you too,” I said pulling away from him. “Goodbye Brayden.”

He took a step towards me and connected his lips to mine for a long kiss lingering kiss. We both knew that this was most likely going to be our last kiss ever. After this he was going to go back to Devon and get married in four months, and I was just going to try to forget my time with him move on. He pulled away from me and stared at me for a long moment before stepping away from me.

“Goodbye Daisy,” he said as he walked out of my bedroom and out of my life.