Never Too Late

Lacey's Point of View

The week went by in a blur. Between homework and Lucy acting strange I wasn't sure I could take any more. The night of Lucy’s party came and I went into her room to talk to her about things. I could tell something was off with her but she wouldn't tell me what. Whatever it was, it was something that she didn't want to tell me.

“I'll see you at the party, okay?” she said after I pushed a bit.

“Yeah, I'll see you in a little bit,” I replied.

Lucy left her room but I didn't. Lucy was hiding something and I was going to get to the bottom of it. Knowing my sister she wouldn't just leave it in plain sight. I scanned her room trying to figure out where she would hide something. I looked at her dresser and started there. I didn't find anything in the first couple of drawers. The only other option would be her pajama drawer. I opened it up and dug around. I felt something and grabbed it.

It was a birth certificate. Not just anyone's birth certificate, it was mine. I was trying to figure out why she would hide this and then I saw why. My father wasn't who I thought it was. I was lied to my whole life. I didn't understand it. Why wouldn't my own mother tell me who my dad was? Was she embarrassed? Did she think I was better off not knowing my real father? Questions I would never have an answer to unless I asked my real father. I felt so much betrayal. Why would my own sister not tell me this? Instead she hid it from me.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I got a text from Nick saying he would be arriving to get me soon. I put the birth certificate back and made sure it looked like no one went through her stuff and went to go get ready.

I went and grabbed some clothes and headed to my bathroom. I got dressed in a little black dress and started on my makeup. I straightened my hair and as I was putting my makeup away I saw that little small box that I hadn't been tempted to use in so long. I took the razor blade out of the box and pulled the dress up so my right thigh was visible. What happened next was a familiar feeling. I heard a knock on my bathroom door and it pulled me from my thoughts.

“Almost ready?” I heard Nick ask.

“Uh, yeah, just give me a couple minutes,” I said, trying not to sound surprised.

I cleaned up my leg and put everything away. I checked myself in the mirror one last time. I knew what I had just done wasn't right but no one would ever figure it out if I hid the cuts. I opened my bathroom door and saw Nick sitting on my bed.

“You look amazing,” he said.

“Thanks, ready to go?” I asked.

Nick nodded and we headed downstairs. I said goodbye to my uncles and we headed to the party. By the time we got there the party had just started. We walked inside and the music was blaring some weird band that Lucy liked. We found Lucy and as much as I didn't want to talk to her, I did.

“I know you're not supposed to be drinking but there's stuff in the kitchen,” Lucy said.

“Trust me, I need a drink or two,” I told her.

Two drinks turned into way more quite quickly. I was completely drunk. I wasn't sure how much I had to drink but I knew I was feeling great. I went to get another one when Nick stopped me.

“I think you've had enough, let's get you home,” he said.

“Oh, come on Nick, I'm not that drunk,” I protested, slurring my words.

I stumbled a little bit and Nick caught me.

“We’re leaving,” he decided.

I tried to stop him but he wouldn't change his mind. Nick found Lucy and told her we were leaving. I think he told Lucy to text Gerard and tell him I wouldn't be home but I wasn't sure. He led me to his car and helped me in. He got into the driver’s seat and started his car. He started driving and the car ride was awkward, neither one of us saying a word. He drove back to his house and parked the car. He helped me to the guest room that I had stayed in before. Memories flooded my head about what had happened the last time I was in this room. He sat me on the bed and left the room for a moment. He came back and handed me one of his shirts to wear.

“Go change and I'll get you some water to drink,” he said.

He left the room and I went into the bathroom. I took my dress off and put his shirt on. It was barely long enough to cover my cut. I looked in the mirror and felt disappointed in myself. I sighed and left the bathroom and got into the bed before Nick got back. Nick walked back into the room and handed me the water.

“Thanks,” I told him.

“So want to explain why the fuck you got so shitfaced tonight?” he asked.

My gut turned and I looked down. I knew I could trust Nick but I wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

“I don't want to talk about it,” I said.

Nick sighed and said, “Fine, goodnight then.”

Nick got up off the bed and headed towards the door.

“Nick, wait,” I called out.

“What?” He stopped.

Nick turned around and looked at me. I could see the hurt and pain in his eyes. That look was the same one I saw when we had last talked.

“Please don't go,” I whispered.

Nick thought about it for a minute and then turned the light off and walked towards the bed. I felt him get into bed next to me. I turned so I was facing him. My face was inches from his and I felt my emotions getting the best of me, or maybe it was because I was drunk, maybe it was both. I ended up kissing Nick. He pulled away and looked at me.

“Lacey, you're drunk. Don't do something you'll regret.”

I looked at him. “I may be drunk but you can't tell me you aren't thinking or feeling the same thing I am right now.”

Before he replied I closed the gap between our lips. Nick pulled me closer to him. Things ended up happening once again. Clearly we were going to have to have a serious conversation about this in the morning. And I for one knew I wasn't ready for it.