Never Too Late

Lucy's Point of View

“Hi, Mrs. McCracken,” I greeted John’s mom as I stepped into their house. Having been friends with John for so long, no one in his family really seemed to mind or care when I let myself in. John’s mom was sitting on the couch, flipping channels on the TV, a rare quiet and peaceful moment for her. With three kids, she didn’t get much alone time. “Is John home? He hasn’t been answering my texts.”

“Hey Lucy,” she replied. “He should be upstairs, if you want to head up. He said something about having a lot of homework, maybe that’s why he didn’t get back to you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it,” I nodded and headed for the stairs. “Thanks, Mrs. McCracken.”

I’d been with Mason for most of the evening, mostly just riding around listening to music. The silence had been nice, but what I’d really wanted was to talk about everything that had happened with my dad and step-monster. Giving Lacey a car was really supposed to make up for all the neglect over the years, let alone soften her up for the baby news? It was beyond ridiculous. At least she’d gotten a car out of the whole ordeal, all I’d received was some shitty news and more anger issues. I’d tried to talk to Mason about everything, but Mason wasn’t the greatest listener in the world sometimes; however, John had always been there for me, even if he was a turd sometimes, so he was who I’d really wanted to see.

During my walk up the stairs, for some dumb reason, I allowed myself to daydream about what was going to happen. I’d sit down on John’s bed and cry and complain about everything, and then he’d put his arms around me and hug me. Then maybe he’d kiss my forehead or something and then something would finally click in his brain and he’d realize he’d loved me this whole time, not his stupid girlfriend Taylor. It was a dumb fantasy, I knew, but it was one I’d had more times than I’d like to admit over the years.

Naturally, the reality of the situation was completely different than what I’d envisioned. I gave a brief knock on John’s door before opening it, expecting him to be sitting at his desk doing homework like his mom had said he was probably doing. Instead, he and Lacey were scrambling around his room half-dressed, picking clothes up from the floor and throwing them on in a frenzied manner. The sheets on John’s bed were totally twisted and fucked up and the air still smelled heavy.

I looked at the both of them, shaking my head, not even totally sure where to start. I certainly wasn’t at a loss for words, but figuring out the right ones to start with was tricky. The last thing I wanted to do, especially now, was give any indication that I had feelings for John. I couldn’t let them know that I was hurt, that I felt like my heart had dropped into my stomach and was now being corroded by the acid. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Lucy, we can explain,” Lacey started, adjusting her shirt so that her bra wasn’t showing anymore.

I cut her off, looking between the two of them. Lacey looked panicked and John looked…guilty? Ashamed? What was it? “How long has this been going on?”

John started to answer, but Lacey talked over him. “Lucy, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know how you feel about John and you love him, and we didn’t mean for this to happen, it just did, and-”

“That’s not even true,” I denied, interrupting her and resisting the urge to clench my fists. How did she even know that? I’d certainly never told that I loved John. “And even if it was, that’s not even the point.” I turned my attention to John. “You do remember that you have a girlfriend, right? A shitty one, but you have one.”

“Are you going to tell her?” John asked, everything going completely above his head, as usual.

Lacey shoved John, looking very offended. “Seriously?! That’s what you’re worried about right now?”

I shook my head. After this, I’d never be able to look at John or Lacey the same way again. I’d never seen them as the type of people to pull something like this, my affection for John be damned. Since when was John a cheater and since when was Lacey okay with being the side chick?

“No, I’m not gonna tell your stupid girlfriend. That’s on you. But I really can’t believe you two, this is fucking ridiculous.” I glared at Lacey. “Don’t you respect yourself at all? Or do you just not care about yourself enough to give a shit that he obviously doesn’t care enough about you to dump Taylor and actually date you?” I shook my head again, feeling like that was all I was capable of doing at that point. “I am so happy Mom isn’t here to see this, Lacey.”

Okay, that comment was going too far and I knew it. But that didn’t stop me from saying it, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back. I didn’t give either one of them a chance to respond as I turned around and made my way back down the stairs quickly. I muttered something to Mrs. McCracken on my way out about having to be on my way home immediately, and then closed the door behind me.

I took the long way home, wishing more than ever that my mom was still around. At least then I’d have someone to talk to. Shit, if she was still around, none of this would have even happened in the first place. By the time I pulled into the driveway of my uncles’ place, I was really fighting off tears, my head swimming with thoughts of my mom and Lacey and John and the new baby. It was just too much to handle at one time.

I tried to sneak into the house and avoid Gerard or Mikey, but I stumbled into Gerard right away. Apparently he’d been waiting for one of us to come home. I started to prepare myself for some yelling, or maybe an extended lecture about respecting my dad and then just taking off. But instead, all Gerard did was hug me.

“Lucy, I’m so sorry about that,” he rushed. “Your dad said he wanted to come over and see you guys, he didn’t say anything about bringing your stepmom, let alone anything about the baby.”

“It’s not your fault,” I muttered, half-comforted by the hug and half-wishing he would let me go to my room so I could mope and cry in peace. “I’m not mad at you.”

Gerard let me go, his hands resting on my shoulders. “Look, I’m just really sorry. I feel awful letting that happen.”

“Like I said, it’s fine,” I said, kind of shrugging his hands away.

“We can talk about this, if you want,” he offered. “I know it’s gotta be hard for you and your sister.”

Lacey was the last person I wanted to hear about. And besides, I didn’t know Gerard well enough to talk to him about anything that was going on. “Thanks, but I’m really tired, so I kind of just want to go to my room and go to bed.”

Gerard nodded. “Okay. One more thing before you head upstairs, though; do you know where Lacey is?”

I contemplated throwing Lacey under the bus, but decided it probably wouldn’t be the best course of action. There was enough that had happened in just a few hours, it didn’t need to get any worse. “She’s at a friend’s house. I don’t know if she’s coming home or not though.”

Gerard nodded again hesitantly. “As long as she’s safe, I guess.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, and then began to head up the stairs. “Goodnight.”

I headed up to my room and closed my door, locking it behind me. Not that I thought anyone was going to try to come in, but I just felt more secure that way. I changed into my comfiest pajamas and crawled under the covers, hoping I’d actually be able to sleep. Instead, I was pretty sure I’d be doomed to a night of staring at the art on my walls. I threw back my covers and started taking some of the paintings off of my walls, tossing them into my closet. If I was going to be up all night, I sure didn’t need my mom or my sister looking back at me.