The Wind Keeps Pushing You and Me

"Have you thought about going home?" Rex asked cautiously, closing the door behind us.

I threw myself across the couch that overlooked the street. I watched people walk past the shop, some alone, some in groups, all going about their lives. "Nope. I'm sure you would love if I did, though."

Rex sighed. "Yes, at this point it would be ace if you would sod off Estlin. I over-staffed because Miles told Alfie and me your parents would be in town. Why don't you spend time with them?"

I glared. "Because I don't want to. You know I own this place, right?"

"You know you won't have customers if you keep having outbursts like that one, right? Because no one is going to come to the shop where the owner is off her rockers."

"Fuck you," I snapped, despite knowing he was absolutely right.

"I'm going downstairs. Don't off yourself with scissors or the sewing machine."

I was glad when the door closed behind him. I pulled a bla let out of the closet and wrapped myself up, laying down on the couch and closing my eyes. Sleeping certainly can't make anything worse.



"Little pain in the arse is asleep."

"She needs it. She didn't sleep well last night."

"Should've had a few drinks, put her right out," Alfie said, obnoxiously loud.

"Who could sleep with the three of you yammering on?" I asked, sitting up and glaring at Alfie, Rex, and Harry. "What are you two doing here? 'Specially you?" I asked Harry.

"Such a charmer," Alfie scoffed."Rex called in reinforcements."

"I'm still not clear exactly what happened," Harry laughed. "Got a text from-" Alfie stepped on Harry's foot. "From this git saying I should come check on you."

"Oh yeah? You and Alfie are friends now? I'm pretty sure you would've mentioned knowing Harry Styles. You're awful with secrets."

Rex sighed. "I texted Alfie and Miles."

"We are all becoming mates," Harry offered.

"This girl came in and I was just giving her advice, one woman to another."

"She was looking for a dress for her rehearsal dinner, which is tonight mind you, the wedding is tomorrow, and Estlin asks her is she sure about marrying the bloke, how does she know she's sure, and then, it gets better," Rex said in response to Harry's laughter, "then she goes on to list every single doubt she has about Miles."

"Like I said, advice from one woman to another."

"You are a hot mess," Alfie said, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, still growing. I sent him a smile because if someone had just told me that story I would've had the exact same response.

"Do you not want to see your parents while they're here, Es? You know you miss them," Alfie prodded.

"I guess we could go to their hotel."

"Who is we?" Rex asked. "I'm still working."

"You're so goddamn sassy, Christ. We as in Alfie and Harry will go with me. My parents would be horrified I employee such a rude person if they met you today."

"Your Mum loves me," he replied, sticking out his tongue. "Brilliant plan, however. The lot of you, out! Out before Estlin runs off any more innocent shoppers.”

The three of us left the back entrance since Rex refused to let me come back through the shop while the bride-to-be was still looking around. It was fairly warm for London in February and a rare sunny day. I still had on Harry's black jeans, but I changed into a white blouse when I got to work.

"Their hotel isn't far. We can walk," I shrugged.

"Is that a good idea?" Alfie asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Harry isn't exactly a no-body."

"It should be fine," Harry waved him off. "Not having my car parked somewhere we actually are will probably work in our favor really."

"Plus it's so nice out here," I said, taking in a deep breath. "I don't realize this until I walk outside, but since everything with Miles happened I only really feel like I can breathe when I'm outside."

"Very Thoureau of you," Harry said.

"I like Whitman more than Thoureau. I wish I had been named after him."

"Walt or Whitman?" Alfie asked.

"Either."

"Who are you named after?" Harry asked.

"EE Cummings. His name is Edward Estlin Cummings."

"Was," Alfie corrected. "Estlin has a bad habit of talking about dead authors as though they're alive."

"I wouldn't say it's bad," I shrugged.

"It's confusing if someone isn't as much of a nerd as you."

"How far away is the hotel?"

"It's just down the road, there," I said pointing at one of the tall buildings.

"Are we staying or were we just escorting the lady?" Alfie asked.

"I had assumed staying..."

"I just wasn't sure, don't get your knickers in a twist."

"Not wearing any," I said, laughing gleefully. Alfie rolled his eyes, but Harry's face was red and he was looking away from the two of us and Alfie started laughing, too.

"She's taking the piss, mate."

"You don't know that," I replied.

"I'm willing to check," Alfie said, rolling his eyes.

"You two are strange," Harry chuckled.

"Here we are," I said, leading us inside.

"Hi can I h-help y-you?" The front desk attendant asked, focusing solely on Harry.

"Jack and Grace Coupe's room number, please," he answered with a smile. Naturally she gave Harry the room number without asking a single extrea question.

"Oi, are there no privacy restrictions when you're a pop star?" Alfie asked once we were in the elevator.

"There are certainly perks," Harry grinned.

I scoffed, but said nothing. The elevator doors opened and we found the room without much trouble. I knocked on the door and it took my Mom no time to come to the door.

"Ah, get in here hun! Hello again Alfie, Harry."

"Where's Dad?" I asked, plopping down onto the bed. Harry and Alfie sat on the couch while Mom sat beside me and started running her hand through my hair.

"Out with Tim and Miles. We weren't sure if you would be pulling one of your disappearing acts so we've just been seeing London as we had planned on."

"Does Estlin often disappear during times of duress?" Alfie teasked.

"You've seen it first-hand then," Mom laughed.

"If you two are just going to try and make me feel bad about myself Harry will take be on and adventure while you two gossip over tea and biscuits," I said, sticking out my tongue. Mom quickly pinched it, making me squeal and roll to my stomach.

"I didn't know Harry was your chauffeur, Estlin. What do I have to do to get a pop star at my neck and call, Harry?" Mom asked, a teasing tone clear in her voice.

Harry laughed. "She didn't give me much of a choice. Very demanding."

"Don't I know it, I dealt with her for eighteen years."

Alfie and I grinned. "Eighteen years, eighteen years, she got one of your kids she got you for eighteen years!"

"Harry," I asked suddenly, "do you know Kanye West?"

Harry laughed. "I've been in the same room as him and we've met but I think to say I know him would be a bit of a stretch."

"Bummer," I said, laying back down. "So, do you and Dad have plans for tonight?"

"Nope, want to have dinner?"

"Sure, can my friends come?"

"You have friends?" Mom teased.

"So many. I am so popular," I said, flipping my hair and sitting up. "But, like, in reality not really. I figured Rex and Alfie would come. Harry you're welcome too, so are your band mates. I should thank them for helping me get properly trashed."

Harry laughed. "I'm down. Would you mind terribly if we all got together at my place? I can make dinner."

"Are you a good cook?"

"Yeah, great," he nodded. "Promise."

"Mom?"

"That sounds like a lovely idea, thank you Harry. It will be nice to get a home cooked meal instead of being the one doing the cooking."

"Let's say seven," Alfie suggested.

"Perf," I exclaimed. "Enough time to stop and pick up booze."

Mom shook her head. "This really isn't how we raised her to deal with her problems."



"This is nice," Dad said, closing the door to my car behind him.

"Of course it's nice, the boy is a millionaire, maybe even a billionaire."

"Hush," I exclaimed. "Don't be tacky."

"Coming from the queen of tacky," Dad laughed. I lightly punched his shoudler and led my parents into Harry's house, not bothering to knock.

I vaguely heard Dad mutter something to the extent of 'proving my point' but I was busy hugging Niall, Louis, and Liam.

"I'm Zayn, sorry I missed your big night."

I burst into laughter. "We are going to be such good friends. Guys, these are my parents, Jack and Grace."

"Nice to meet you," Dad said. "Who is gonna get me a beer?"

Niall jumlped up first. I followed him, leaving Mom with the guys. She certainly wouldn't mind being left in a room full of handsome young men.

"Hey," I said, leaning against the counter beside Harry.

"Hi Estlin," he said, looking up briefly and smiling at me. "Did you have a good day with your Mum?"

Harry and Alfie left me alone with Mom after about an hour, once it was clear that I wasn't going to have a breakdown.

"Yeah, it was nice. We went to a spa. Alfie and Rex here yet?"

"Yeah, they're having a smoke outside."

"Need help with anything?"

"No, thanks love. Just go enjoy your parents company and relax. Make yourself a Bloody Mary or something," Harry said with a wink.

"I'll stick to whiskey and coke, at least that's what I'm saying now," I laughed.

I made my drink then went back to join the others. Everyone was getting along great, laughing and talking as if they had known each other for years. I sat between Dad and Niall, leaning my head against Dad's shoulder and mainly just enjoying being completely relaxed for the first time in three days.

"When will you boys start touring again?" Mom asked.

"We're heading back to America in a week," Zayn answered.

"Oh there you are boo bear," Alfie said, walking in with Rex. They each have me a kiss on the cheek before making themselves comfortable.

"How was the rest of work?" I asked Rex.

"Great. Our sales are spectacular, really Essy. We've got a great staff and great merchandise."

"Awesome. I was thinking I would work up some totally new designs. You should work on some too, it's not just the stuff I design selling well."

Rex had been working with me for the last six months and he became one of my best friends as well as my right hand man nearly instantaneously. He was a great designer and a great salesman.

"Any chance we'll have you over for Thanksgiving again, Alf?" Mom asked.

"You know it! Any excuse to be a glutton is one I won't pass up."

"I love food," Niall pouted.

"You're all welcome," Dad laughed.

"It would be a lot of fun to do a real Thanksgiving," Liam said thoughtfully.

"Let's start with dinner," Harry said, leaning against the wall and looking at us all.

"Where are we eating mate? Your table has four chairs," Louis said.

Harry groaned. "I knew I was forgetting something. I'll just bring some extra chairs in here and we can eat in here."

While Harry moved chairs we went into the kitchen and began filling our plates. Harry had made empanadas and enchiladas. When we were all settled inwe began eating and I was amazed at how good everything was.

"You can cook me dinner anytime," I said to Harry. "This is amazing."

"Thanks love."

"It really is excellent. Harry you'll have to give me your recipe," Mom said.

"It's his Mum's and she would absolutely murder him," Louis said, grinning at Harry.

"She would," Liam agreed. "Mum Styles is possessive about family recipes."

"Yeah, but she calls everything a family recipe. She could watch something on the Food Network and she would say it's a family recipe," Harry said laughing. "I'm fact, Nan has a recipe I know she got from Julia Child, but you know what it is? A Bloody family recipe."

We all laughed. Mom told a story about her Mom, then we all began talking about our Moms and as I listened to everyone's stories I again was caught off guard by just how comfortable and happy I was.

It was nice to be around a group of people where it all felt so natural. Miles and I often hung out with his friends, but it was never as easy as it is with the roomful of people I found myself with now. Conversation was frequently forced and I could never be fully relaxed if his Mom was in the room, no matter who was around.

Harry's foot tapped mine. "Alright?" He quietly asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Great actually."



"How are you doing?"

"Uh, well, I'm right gutted if I'm beimg honest, Leslie."

"Were you surprised when she said no?"

"Stunned. You don't go into it thinking she's going to say anything but yes."

"Especially with all that planning. Beautiful restaurant, One Direction performing! I would have said yes!"

"Maybe I'll ask you next."

"Well folks, it's clear Miles Bullard still has his sense of humor-"

Rex turned off the television, ending the short interview a local reporter had done with Miles. She had gotten ahold of a video of the whole proposal.

"That motherfucker," I seethed. "I will strangle him. I will tie him up and let him hang from the ceiling. What a fucking absolute tool!"

"He's acting like a proper knob head, that's for sure," Alfie said, rubbing my shoulders. I took deep breaths and tried to calm my shaking, but I was so angry that I could barely think straight.

"I need to go on a walk. Or a drive." I pulled my leather jacket on and grabbed my purse.

"Do you want someone to go with you?" Rex asked.

"No," I sighed. "Enjoy brunch. Eat enough for all of us." I walked out of Alfie's apartment and got into my car, it didn't start it. I just sat in the driver's seat and wished that my parents were still in town. Alfie and Rex had been filling my time since Mom and Dad left the day before yesterday. They barely let me leave their house long enough last night to show up for Sunday brunch this morning.

After a five minute silence I started my car and pulled into London traffic. Alfie lives in the best part of London, which equals the shittiest traffic. My ringing phone distracted me from weaving through lanes.

"Hello?"

"Seen the news today by chance?"

"What would you have said if I said no? But yes, I have seen that dickbag's interview."

Harry laughed. "I hadn't actually thought about a fake news story in case you said no. I probably would have made up something about Louis or maybe the band as a whole."

"That's would be a good one," I agreed. "I possibly would have believed that."

"What are you doing right now?"

"Driving in this shit traffic. I just left brunch with Alfie and Rex."

"Estlin, I hate that you drive and talk on your mobile. You have no patience for traffic and you aren't the best driver."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm a perfectly capable driver." Harry and I had been keeping in contact daily, through either texts or calls. He let me drive us to a coffee shop on the outskirts of London the morning after dinner at his place, but did not let me drive back home. "Besides, even if I got in an accident right now everyone is moving so slow I would be perfectly fine."

"You're ridiculous."

"Whatever," I shrugged. "Why'd you call?"

"Yes, I was wondering if you wanted to come over tomorrow night? Have a sleep over? Pillow fort and all."

"Can we do it tonight? Jenna is taking me to dinner tomorrow night and then drinks."

"Who is Jenna? Tonight is fine. Come over now if you want."

I turned around to go in the direction of Harry's place. "Jenna is one of my employee's. She's my age, we interned at Burberry together."

"Does she design?"

"Some. She's more interested in the marketing aspect of things," I explained.

"Alright, let's continue this conversation when you get here in one piece, yeah?"

"Yeah. Bye," I said and hung up my phone.

I wasn't terribly far from Harry's when he called. It should've taken no time, but ended up taking about twenty minutes with traffic. Once I got out of downtown the drive went much more quickly. Unlike Alfie, Harry lived a healthy distance between downtown and the outskirts of London.

"I'm here," I shouted as I walked in.

"I should probably start locking my door," Harry mused, walking into the foyer.

"Probably. Especially as Harry Styles."

"Enough pop star talk," he demanded. "I've been reminded frequently the past several days of my level of fame."

"In that case grab be a glass of wine," I said smirking. I walked into the living room where a fort was already assembled. "How long had you been sitting here alone before you decided to call me?"

Harry laughed. "Lou and Lux were over. I don't just sit around my house in forts, though it isn't a bad way to spend time."

"Very true. Thanks," I said, taking the glass from him. "Ooh, Styles, are you having a drink?"

Harry laughed. "Yeah. Just because I don't drink as much as you doesn't mean I don't drink."

"I know there's no way you're going to believe this, but I really don't drink this frequently normally. Everything's just so stupid right now."

"Hey, you don't have to explain a thing."

"Have you talked to Miles?"

Harry paused. "No. He called but I had just seen that news reporter on the telly. I don't have much good to say to Miles right now."

"He's your friend," I shrugged. "You guys were friends before I was in the picture for either of you."

Harry shook his head. "You don't treat people like that."

Harry was very serious about this, so I decided to drop it. "Excited to get back to tour?"

"Yeah, mostly. Zayn has been kind of off lately. He's not happy and it's obvious."

"Because of Perrie or...?"

"I think this lifestyle is just really hard on relationships and your body and your mind. Zayn's a really introspective guy, he just gets stuck in his head too much sometimes."

"He's hilarious," I said, remembering when I first met him.

"Louis actually said he thought you two would get on after that night you got pissed."

"When do you leave officially?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"Any chance we could do lunch before you leave?"

Harry shook his head. "We're leaving Tuesday at seven am."

"Really early breakfast?"

He laughed. "If you want to. I would love to see you before we fly out. We would have to meet by five, I have to be at Heathrow by six."

"Sooooo early," I whined. "Alright. Five it is."

"Now that's sorted, why don't you teach me to play this card game you've been on about?"

"I don't have it with me," I replied. During dinner at Harry's Alfie mentioned our Thanksgiving game of Phase Ten, a game neither Harry nor Liam had ever played. It was my absolute favorite.

"I went and bought a pack," Harry replied, pulling a deck from the top of a shelf.

"Ahh! Awesome! I'm so excited! OK, so here's what you do," I said, opening the pack and going over the gist of the game. By the time we started playing the interview Miles did was in the very back of my mind.