You Are Not a Robot

The snow was just beginning to stick outside of Alex and Jack's apartment when Alex finally arrived home. He had just completed his last exam, and was in one of the best moods he had been in in a long time. With plans to have a productive evening, Alex got to work with tidying up the apartment, as well as putting up some extra Christmas decorations that he had not had time to take out yet, due to exams. By the time Jack came through the door, Alex had changed into his pyjamas, and had dinner made, too.

"Hi," Jack greeted his boyfriend, as Alex peaked his head out from the kitchen.

"Hi," Alex grinned in reply, "Come eat,"

"I'll come eat, all right," Jack chuckled quietly, unsure if Alex had heard him or not. He figured he did, when Alex simply raised an eyebrow in reply as Jack advanced toward him and backed him into the wall. "I don't need food, I need you."

"That's nice, Jack," Alex laughed, his neck turned to the side, directing Jack's kisses there so he could speak, "But you really should go eat food, too. It's going to get cold."

"Mm, alright, babes." Jack hummed, pecking Alex on the lips at last, before following him over to the table.

Alex was quiet at dinner, and it did not go unnoticed by Jack. He avoided eye contact, and he looked like he was thinking terribly hard about something.

"Alex," Jack spoke, causing Alex's eyes to snap up to his quickly.

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?" Jack murmured, finishing up his own dinner just as Alex pushed his own away from him. "Not hungry?"

"No," Alex shook his head, "Not really."

"What's on your mind?" Jack pressed, poking Alex's foot under the table with his own. That got a small smile out of the younger man, at least.

"I don't want to bother you with it," Alex confessed, "It's just me being dumb. Don't worry about it."

"Well, now I'm curious," Jack chuckled, "Come on, baby. Talk to me. That's why we're here for each other, right?"

"I guess so," Alex nodded, still sounding unsure of himself. When Jack said nothing in response, Alex got the message that he was waiting for an explanation. "Okay, so, you know how on Friday nights we usually, uh-"

"Have sex?" Jack interjected, a sly grin on his face as he said, "Of course, I know."

"Yeah, about that," Alex continued, tapping his fingers on the table, "I was thinking-"

"Not this again," Jack groaned, sitting upright once more and looking Alex in the eye.

"You didn't even give me a chance to explain!" Alex snapped, watching as Jack visibly tried to calm himself down, his face softening after he closed his eyes for a few moments.

"Fine. Explain yourself." Jack shook his head, giving Alex his full attention.

"Thank you," Alex nodded, before deciding, "I think we should do it tonight. Switch, I mean. At first you said never, but a couple weeks after that, you said maybe. You remember that, don't you?"

"Yeah," Jack shrugged, "I do."

"Then why can't we tonight? It's been even more weeks since you said that, Jack. Isn't it about time?" Alex was all but whining at this point, his feet stomping angrily underneath the table in sync with his points.

"Calm down," Jack said, his voice monotonous. "Why is this so important to you?"

"It's important to me, because it's such an issue for you." Alex voiced, continuing when Jack simply gave him a blank look. "I want you to open up to me in that way, too. It'll build the trust between us. Besides, I just think you should try it. Bottoming, I mean."

After closing his eyes once again, expression emerged on Jack's face about a minute later. He looked defeated, but not necessarily in a bad way. Keeping Alex his first priority was the most important thing for him, especially lately.

"Fine, baby."

"Really?" Alex perked up, standing up to take their plates away. "Thanks, Jay."

Finding out how to start something that usually came so easy to them was awkward at the least. Alex was not used to taking control at all, nor was Jack used to sitting back and watching. Before they even had their clothes off, Alex was biting his nail, and Jack was chuckling nervously.

"Just because we're switching positions," Jack's voice rose from the silence, "Doesn't mean you can't c'mere for now."

With that, Alex was shuffling into the arms Jack had outstretched for him, feeling at home when Jack's hands wrapped around his back and took hold of his waist.

"This is my favourite place," Alex commented into Jack's shirt, feeling Jack's laughter against his cheek.

"I love you," Jack murmured, kissing Alex's forehead, before leaning down a bit further and pressing their lips together. Alex replied with the same words between kisses, and eventually they were able to get themselves undressed into bed in their usual fashion.

"Um," Alex whispered, sat atop Jack's lap, "How're we going to do this?"

"What'll hurt the least?" Jack smiled, and Alex leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek, before answering.

"On your stomach, I think. I kind of want to see your face, though."

"I can do back, then," Jack shrugged, adding before Alex could protest, "It doesn't matter, babes. This is all for you, okay?"

Nodding, Alex maneuvered them so he was lying partially on top of Jack, as he reminded, "We need to do fingers, first."

"I know," Jack sighed, "Do you know where the lube is?"

Humming, Alex rolled to the side and grabbed the bottle from one of their drawers, before looking back at Jack.

"I'm ready when you are," Jack prompted, and Alex giggled in reply. The first finger was not anything bad, but Alex still caught the way Jack seemed to avoid his eyes. With the second, Jack flinched a small bit, and with the third, he finally looked Alex in the eye, ready to tell him to stop.

"Hold on, okay?" Alex spoke softly, "Trust, remember? It'll get better."

Alex was right. After a few more minutes, Jack was used to the strange feeling, and he was asking Alex to move on. Alex wiped his fingers on the T-shirt he left on the nightstand, before he settled between Jack's hips. Leaning up to kiss his boyfriend to distract him as he fumbled with the lube once again, Alex then pushed into Jack slowly, feeling sorry as he watched Jack try to keep his discomfort off of his face. It took several more minutes, but when Jack was finally ready, Alex remarked with a breathy laugh, "Imagine what I had to go through the first couple times. You're even bigger than me,"

Jack smiled in response, pulling Alex closer into his chest, and simply saying, "Move."

Alex was able to build up a rhythm after several attempts, and when he was done with that, he finally noticed the unfamiliar sounds Jack was emitting. His eyes were closed, his head was thrown back, and his lips were parted. Alex had to focus on not stopping simply just to admire his boyfriend. Jack seemed to notice Alex's eyes on him, as his own opened not too long after.

"Y'know," Jack breathed, "I was scared this would be unpleasant from a different position, but you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, no matter what angle I'm looking at you from."

Later on that night, Alex found himself cuddled up in Jack's arm on the couch. The brunet would look up at the taller man every few moments, just quick enough for him to remove the signs of irritation off his face. Jack did not want Alex to know he caused him even the slightest of pains, because it was not something for Alex to worry about, even though he certainly knew.

Leaning up to kiss Jack's jaw, Alex questioned, "Would you do it again?"

"Yeah, I mean-" Jack started, before Alex's giggle interrupted him.

"You liked it!" Alex cooed, "Oh, my gosh! You're blushing,"

"Stop," Jack whined, "Okay, you're right. Leave me alone now, will you?" In contraction to his prior words, Jack moved to pull Alex closer into him.