Chasing Stars

I awoke to the sound of laughter downstairs. It wasn't just the kids but also Gerard and what sounded like Frank. I pulled myself out of bed stretching, noticing I was still in yesterdays clothes. I let out a groan and walked towards the bathroom. After a shower and getting dressed, I stumbled downstairs to see Gerard, Lindsey, Frank and Jamia standing in the kitchen talking. I stumbled towards the coffee pot and grabbed a cup.

"Morning sunshine," Gerard said with a smile.

"Morning," I muttered softly pouring my coffee. I took a sip allowing the warm liquid to assist me in waking up. Just then four small children came running into the room. The twins started to shout questions towards Frank and Jamia.

"Rylynn, will you watch a movie with us?" Bandit asked stopping in front of us.

“I don't want to I just woke up," I stated.

"Rylynn, come on, you never do anything with me," she whined at me.

"Bandit stop, I don't want to. Go play with Lili and Cherri. They are your age," I said taking another drink.

"You're a crappy sister," Bandit said folding her arms.

"Bandit lets go to the pool," Miles said coming to Bandit's side.

“I’m a crappy sister?" I asked louder gaining the attention of everyone in the room.

"Yeah you suck," Bandit stated with force.

"Hey Bandit," Lindsey corrected. I glared at the young girl, both of us ignoring Lindsey.

“If I’m just a crappy sister that sucks then why the fuck do you always want to bug me?"

"Rylynn, Bandit, both of you just stop," Gerard stated, standing up from his position.

“It's called being nice Rylynn," Bandit practically yelled. Before I could retaliate Gerard's hand came to the back of Bandit's shirt turning her around.

"You don't," he said pointing to me, "And you, go to your room. Think about what you just said and calm down." Bandit stomped away and I took another drink from my coffee. Gerard turned back around looking at me.

"Hey, I didn't do anything don't give me that look," I said to him.

"Would you like to go to your room too?" he asked looking at me. "Let's not forget she is 7."

"Whatever, I’m letting it go," I said holding my hands in the air.

"Well it sounds like the kids want to swim," Frank stated.

"That would be fun. What do you guys think?" Lindsey asked.

"No," I stated while Gerard said "Yeah."

"Oh come on, a bit of fun wont kill you," Gerard said walking over to the sink.

"Pool it is," Lindsey said. “I’ll go talk to the problem child." She exited the room and Frank and Jamia left to get the kids ready.

"Can I stay here?" I asked Gerard. I heard him let out a sigh.

"No Ry, you can't. What's wrong with the pool? Do you not know how to swim?"

“I know how to swim," I said in a condescending tone. Gerard came towards me brushing the wet hair away from my shoulders.

"Then go grab your swimsuit," he said with a smile and walked away.

"Gerard…I…” I couldn't find the words. He stopped and looked at me.

"You have a swimsuit right?" He asked assuming I needed to go shopping.

"Yeah I’m fine I have one, It's just…"

“Is this a girl thing?" he looked at me weary.

"No it's more of a warning," I muttered.

"Hey Gerard, do you know where Bandit's suit is?" Lindsey asked from upstairs.

"Umm, I think it's in her closet," He said turning towards the stairs. I quickly grabbed his arms.

“I need to talk to you," I stated pulling him towards me. He nodded and guided me towards the office. He shut the door and sat down on the couch next to me.

"What's a warning?" he asked.

"The accident… It wasn't kind," I said looking down at my hands.

"What do you mean?" he asked trying to catch my eyes.

“I mean, I have scars… a lot of scars… They don't… they don't look appealing and I want you to know so you don't freak out like I did the first time I saw them," I stated still looking down. Gerard reached forward grabbing my hand. I swallowed hard and looked up at him.

"You are beautiful no matter what," he said with force. “I don't ever want you to think different." I nodded in understanding. “If you are really that worried about it, we can always get you a new suit. One that covers more. I would actually fully support my 15 year old daughter in an entire wet suit." He was trying to get me to laugh, unfortunately it worked.

“I’m not wearing a wet suit," I said annoyed at his ridiculous protectiveness.

"What was it Rylynn, it's your ace, keep it in your back pocket?" Gerard retorted turning my own words against me. I rolled my eyes. "Go get your stuff," Gerard smiled.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked standing up and stretching.

"Oh, I forgot you haven't been to Mikey's house. He has a pool, well he has two pools, one inside, one outside," Gerard added.

"So I take it we're going to Mikey's?" I clarified.

"Yeah," he said as we exited the office. "Hey what happened between you two yesterday?" he asked.

“I don't know what you are talking about," I said with a smirk turning around for just a second to see Gerard roll his eyes. I laughed and went upstairs. I found my swim suit pulling it on. I ignored the mirror as I located some grey jogging shorts and a tank top. I checked my hair one more time in the mirror deciding to just pull it back. I grabbed a thin sweatshirt with a sigh.

"Rylynn, come one," Lindsey shouted from downstairs. I sighed and exited my room. I walked downstairs and toward my shoes. I slipped my chucks on and tied them quickly. "Your dad grabbed a towel for you," Lindsey stated looking at me briefly as she grabbed an extra pair of Bandit's shoes.

"Okay," I said standing up. I walked outside followed by Lindsey locking the door.

"No I want to ride with Bandit," Lili cried.

"No my turn," Cherri shouted.

"Well there isn't enough seats in the car guys," Jamia said to the shouting children.

"How about we take the van Frank and the girls can take Lindsey's car?" Gerard suggested.

"Yes, I love it. Break from the kids," Jamia said.

"Do you have the keys babe?" Lindsey asked Gerard. He nodded and they began to move car seats around and get the kids in the back. I stood there not knowing what car I was getting into. Gerard walked up grabbing my shoulders to turn me around and gave me a shove towards Lindsey. Well, I guess that was my answer. I climbed in the backseat and waited. I was soon joined by Lindsey and Jamia.

"So I was telling Lindsey," Jamia began as she turned back towards me. "That I’m super jealous she get to have a teenage girl to hang out with. I can't wait until Lily and Cherri get older. It's a permanent shopping buddy." I gave a half smile.

"We don't really hang out," I stated as Lindsey began to back up the car.

"Oh that's a shame. I mean think about it you have parents in their 30s, when I was your age my parents where almost 50. Big difference." Jamia looked at me for a response.

"Right… A parent is a parent, I don't see how that's any different," I stated looking at Jamia.

"Well Gerard and Lindsey are much more active," Jamia suggested.

"Yeah I guess," I agreed looking out of the window. I was happy that Jamia took that answer as a reason to direct her chatting to Lindsey. I leaned against the window watching the trees pass by. The drive was long and boring resulting in me falling asleep. I awoke quickly when my shoulder was gently shaken. I inhaled deeply and jolted my eyes open.

"Hey it's okay, it's me. We're here sweetheart," Lindsey said pushing a stray piece of hair out of my face.

"Right," I muttered sitting up with a frown on my face. “I don't wanna move," I said softly.

"Come on, everyone's already inside," she said extending her hand to me. I took it, standing up with my eyes half open. "Why are you so tired?" she inquired, directing me through the house. Mikey's house was big but I didn't pay much attention to it since I kept shutting and opening my eyes.

“I don't know," I whined continuing to stumble forward. We got to the pool and I let out a sigh. I didn't want to socialize, I didn't want to deal with smiling and acting like I was alright.

"Well go sit by your Dad," she said rubbing my back.

“I don't want to. He's weird," I said stopping mid step and looking at him. His hair was a mess, he had oddly short shorts on and tennis shoes. Then again, I wasn't much better. I had on my chucks, short gym shorts and a thin sweatshirt. God I was his kid.

"Then sit somewhere else," she suggested getting distracted by Bandit. I sighed and walked over to the lay down on the chair next to Gerard. I laid it all the way down and crawled on it. I had just closed my eyes.

“I thought you didn't want to sit next to him," Lindsey asked coming over toward me.

“I don't," I muttered into the cushion.

"She said you're weird," Lindsey stated to Gerard.

"Well, I can't really argue," Gerard said making everyone laugh.

"Rylynn, come swim," Bandit yelled at me. I groaned and rolled over.

"Does she every just relax and not shout?" I asked to no one in particular.

"She's seven," Gerard scolded. I propped myself up on my elbows.

"No," I shouted back to Bandit making Frank who was on the other side of Gerard jump a little.

"Rylynn, she is seven, not you," Gerard reminded me. I rolled my eyes, standing up. I hated that he was comparing us. I don't want to be compared to Bandit or Lindsey.

"Rylynn," Bandit whined as she climbed out of the pool. I walked towards the door that led to the bathroom in the corner of the room.

“I’m not swimming," I informed her when see arrived at my side.

"Why not?" she asked as if the world was ending.

"Because I have to go to the bathroom," I said to her shaking my head. As I exited the restroom she was patiently waiting for me. I let the door shut behind me as I stared down at Bandit.

"How about now?" she asked. I through my head back in frustration.

“I don't want to swim or play. How about you just play with them?" I asked gesturing towards the kids in the pool. I began to walk around the pool.

"You are a shitty sister," she said giving me a shove I wasn't expecting. I stumbled forward tripping on a chair and slamming into the cement below me. I heard concern come from the group of adults on the other side of the room. The second the dizziness left my head I sat up quickly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you huh?" I shouted at Bandit. I quickly found my feet as I was ready to chase her down and give her a taste of her own medicine. I saw concern in her eyes but at that moment I didn't care. I was only able to take one step forward before an arm wrapped around me preventing me from advancing forward.

“I’m sorry Rylynn. I didn't mean to make you fall," the small child said. I fought to get free from the arm around me but it was no use.

"You want to know why I don't play with you? Because I’m not really your," I began but a hand covered my mouth.

"Enough," Mikey said from behind me. Gerard made it behind Bandit. His eyes flicked to mine.

"You need to apologize Bandit, you do not push people, especially near a pool," Gerard scolded.

“I’m sorry Rylynn, I shouldn't have pushed you," she said through tears. Mikey's hand left my mouth and his arm loosened it's grip. She turned around burying her face in Gerard. His eyes catching mine again.

"Go ahead take care of your daughter," I stated before pushing Mikey away muttering an ‘I’m fine' and walked out of the pool area.