Chasing Stars

Chapter 26

I pushed the door into the kitchen area. I let out a scream unable to hold it in any longer. I heard someone walk up behind me. “I really don't want to talk right now," I stated to the person not turning around.

“I know," Mikey said. I leaned on the counter resting my head in my hands. It wasn't until that moment that I realized I was bleeding. I quickly pulled my hands away from head. "Here let me help you with that," Mikey said knowing I was looking at the wound on my hand. It was just a scrap down the side.

"No I’m fine," I said noticing my breathing was increasing. I quickly turned to the sink and shoved my hand underneath it.

"Rylynn, it's not just your hand," Mikey began. A flash of my mother blurring my vision.

"No, I'm fine, she fine she's going to be fine. I saw her, she's just in the car," I said incoherently.

My mom was there right in front of me. I could reach her. I felt the cold grass on my leg, the headlights blinding me.

"Rylynn," Mikey said touching the small of my back. I jumped and spun around. I saw Mikey.

I saw the car turned over down the ledge of the road. I forced myself up and towards the car.

"Mom," I muttered. I felt Mikey's hands move the hair from my face.

“I need you to look at me. I’m here," he stated grabbing my hand and forcing it on to his chest.

Her hands where cold and wet. The red liquid covering it.

“I’m real, you don't need be there right now," he said as his heart beat began to slam against my hand pulling me out of my memory. “I’m real Rylynn, I’m here, not what you're seeing," he stated. The vague memory washing away. I made eye contact with him, falling into his arms, my hand still on his chest. "Come on kid," he muttered picking me up and walking me towards the stairs. We entered a room and he gently set me down on a bed. I swallowed hard.

“I’m okay, I’m okay," I said looking at him as his arms left me.

“I know," he said running his fingers through my hair. “I’m just gonna grab a washcloth, I’ll be right back." The last three words said with force. I nodded to him. He exited the room. When he returned, he had a towel and first aid kit. "Pull off your sweatshirt," he said. I did as he asked noticing that my thin sweatshirt had ripped and there was some blood down the side of my arm. Mikey began to slowly clean the wounds and bandage them up.

“I’m not crazy," I stated quietly.

“I know," he said after a moment he continued. "Gerard went through similar things after 9/11…There where situations and phrases that would trigger the memories… This is just your brains way of processing what happened… I know you're not crazy."

“I shouldn't have said that to Gerard," I said softly.

"You were upset," Mikey said, "But you are right, you shouldn't have said it." He looked up at me making eye contact briefly. It was quiet for a moment. I calculated what I should say, debated how he would react.

"She's not my sister," I muttered. He set down the towel with a sigh.

"Look at me," he said. I obeyed and looked up at him. "She is. She may not be Sam's daughter but she is still Gerard's and so are you. That's not up for debate." I bit my lip taking in what he was saying. "Are ah, are those from the accident?" he asked eyeing my left shoulder. I nodded.

"Their beautiful aren't they," I said with a smirk. Before he could answer Gerard walked upstairs, shouting my name. I groaned rolling my eyes and falling back on the bed. A small laugh escaped Mikey's mouth.

"We're in my room," Mikey shouted to his brother. I could hear Gerard enter the room but I refused to open my eyes and look. Mikey patted my knee standing up. “I’ll give you two some time," he spoke softly.

"Thanks Mike," Gerard said. I felt him sit on the bed. I didn't want to look at him. I was mad, angry, upset at everything. Bandit was a brat and still she is the one he went to. "Hey," he said trying to gain my attention. I refused to look or sit up. "So we are laying down now?" he asked laying down on the bed. He was on his side facing me. I could feel his eyes shooting into me. When I still didn't look at him, he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him and making it impossible for me to ignore him. I finally turned my head and look at him. He let out a sigh.

"You went to her," I muttered softly, terrified of what he was going to say. He propped himself up on his elbow, still keeping an arm around me.

"Mikey already had you," he stated. "Are you okay? You hit pretty hard."

“I’m fine," I stated reaching up and playing with the ends of his hair.

"You do know…you do know you are my daughter right. You are just as important as Bandit," he stated. I looked up into his eyes. They where full of fear. Part of me wanted to feel the guilt emerging in my stomach the other feeling triumphant that he was concerned. I wanted to tell him it should have been me. That I should have been the one he ran to but when it came down to me actually saying it, I couldn’t.

"Yeah," I muttered looking back down at the ends of his hair. Gerard let out a sigh as his hand left my side and gently touched my shoulder. His face scrunching up in confusion.

“I thought your surgery was on stomach?" he said shocking me. I pulled my head back slightly to look at his face.

"How do you even know about my surgery?" I asked.

"Just because I wasn't there when the accident happened doesn't mean I didn't ask the social worker questions," he stated. He traced the scar on my shoulder.

“It was. That scar is from the piece of the car that got lodged in my shoulder. They where able to pull the piece out and stitch it." Silence engulfed the room. “I’m sorry…For the other day. I shouldn't have said what I did to you. I was upset and feeling… I don't know. I shouldn't have brought up your relationship with Mom. I shouldn't have cussed at you. I’m sorry," I finally said after a moment. Gerard leaned forward kissing my forehead.

“I love you Rylynn." he stated with force. I swallowed hard. I was quiet, unable to mutter any type of reply. I didn't know how I felt. I didn't know how to feel. All I knew is that I didn't want him to leave on the tour. "Ready to go back to the pool?" he asked after a moment.

“If I have to," I finally relied. Gerard kissed my forehead one more time before standing up and pulling me forward onto my feet. I sighed and began to walk forward. As we entered the pool to see Frank and Ray in the pool with the kids and the girls sitting off on the side. I sat down next to Lindsey. Gerard tossed his shirt next to my chair and jumped in the pool. I closed my eyes hoping sleep would take me away from this place.
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Here is a short one. Hope you like it.