Chasing Stars

“Dishes are done so I’m going to bed,” I stated to Gerard as he sat in his office. Everyone had gone home and the house was back to silence. I didn’t wait for Gerard to turn and reply. I exited the office and made it back towards the kitchen before I heard my name escape his mouth. I let out a sigh and walked back to his office. “Yeah?”

“Take a seat, we really need to talk.” I obliged his request and sat down. “You can’t yell at a teacher,” Gerard stated.

“Why not, they were lying, assuming and making a bigger deal about it than needed to be,” I stated.

“Rylynn, she is your teacher and he is your principle. You are supposed to show those positions respect,” he instructed. I rolled my eye. “You don’t have to like the person but you need to respect their positions.” I digested what he said. I understood where he was coming from but I still didn’t agree with it.

“That entire school is crazy,” I stated not knowing how else to counter.

“Even your friends?” he asked with a small smile on his face.

“My friends are fine, two of them are scholarship kids, everyone else is crazy with a capital C,” I clarified.

“You still can’t yell at them and you need to tell me when you are sent home with a slip like that,” he stated sounding irritated.

“I had it taken care of. It wasn’t a big deal,” I argued but knew there was no use.

“You had it taken care of? You mean forging my signature? Or should I say forging my signature that I use when I do signings? What did you do, Google it?” At that I looked down in defeat. “Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?” he added. Silence followed.

“I didn’t want you to know,” I finally stated, looking back up but not making eye contact.

“Well that much is evident,” he stated, not looking away from me. “Rylynn, you had nothing taken care of, nor should you have tried it. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because I didn’t need you worrying about it or about me,” I finally said wanting to get out of this conversation.

“I’m your father, I’m going to worry. That’s really just how it is. I’m never not going to worry,” he added with a smile. I made eye contact with him.

“Yeah? How’s that going to work when you’re gone?” I asked before I could think about what to say but I instantly regretted what I said. Gerard looked taken aback. “Can I go to bed?”

“Rylynn, is this about the tour?” he asked looking concerned.

“It’s about nothing. Can I go to bed?” I asked again, this time with force. Gerard just looked at me.

“Ok level with me. How do you feel about the tour?” He replied clearly ignoring my comment. I just shock my head at his question. “Rylynn, how do you feel? You are clearly upset about it. Do you have questions about it? Are you worried about everything here or about me?” I still said nothing. “Rylynn,” he tried again.

“Yeah I’m pissed about it. My Mom is dead and my Dad is leaving. How do you think I feel?” I yelled at him. His hand came to his head for a moment before he looked at me.

“I’m not leaving,” before he could finish I put my hand up.

“You are. This is the definition of leaving. You are leaving all of us.” With that, I stood up not caring that he was calling after me. I walked upstairs and toward my bedroom. The tears began to stream down my face uncontrollably. I harshly whipped them away turning the corner and almost running into Lindsey. Her hands came to me keeping me from bumping into the wall.

“Hey I just left clothes in your room,” she began but her voice died down. I inhaled quickly and brought my hands to my face once again pushing my tears away. “What’s going on?” she asked, concern in her voice. I looked up at her catching my breath.

“Why do you stay with him when he just leaves? Why do you stay with someone who just walk away without caring?” I choked out not even caring what I was saying at this point. I searched her eyes for an answer. They flickered behind me for just a moment before landing back on me.

“Oh honey,” she said softly before pulling me into a hug.