Gin and Juice

Squaring my shoulders, I walked into what used to be a safer hell. I was hit instantly with the stench of smoke and booze (a smell that I used to love). Smoke got in my eye as I made my way over to a support column. Nothing had changed. It was still loud, overcrowded, and crazy. Over the uproar and surge of the crowd, my old boss caught my eye. She smiled at me and grabbed the megaphone.

“Well if it isn’t little Danni Paterson coming back for a visit! You’re a little overdressed to be in my bar, aren’t you?”

“Let me change into the clothes I know you have in the back and I’ll dawn my fangs again for tonight only.” I shot back.

She laughed and signaled me over. I hopped the bar and ran into the back office. “I thought you said that you’re never coming back?” She asked, giving me a cut-off shirt and extremely short shorts.

“You always return home. It’s just a matter of time.” I replied, shimmying out of my dress and pulling up the shorts.

“You hated this place. Said it was Hell on Earth.”

“Well, in my world, Hell is a place called Home.” I grabbed the shirt and pulled it over my head.

After a good laugh, she smiled at me. “You want to tell me the real reason?”

“Maybe when I’m intoxicated,” I smirked back and headed to the door.

“Shoes?

“Are staying on,” I laughed. Yes, I still had on my stilettos. Welcoming the insane atmosphere, I stepped up to the bar and started pouring orders as fast as they were yelled to me. I took a few doubles when they were offered to me

“Your cruel device
Your blood like ice
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill”

The jukebox sang out the song I needed to hear like it had done years before. Laughing, I jumped up on the bar with the other Wolves. I only knew one of them, Christie, but that didn’t matter. The Wolves are basically a trashy, whoreish take on a sorority. We’re all sisters in this fucked up dirty version of life.

“I want to love you, but I better not touch (Don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison runnin'thru my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains”

Smirking, I slid down on the bar into a split, not minding the alcohol that was splashed all over it. I knew the erotic pleasure that the guys would get off on, knowing that my thighs were wet and sticky. I whipped my head around a few times as the girls poured stale beer by the pitcher-full down on me.

“I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (And pins)
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (Deep in)
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison”

Leaning forward to show off my cleavage and swinging my legs around, I slid over to one of the poles and got up using it. When I looked back into the unruly crowd, I saw him everywhere. It was as if everyone was wearing a Brian mask for half a second. I quickly shook his image out of my mind and continued to dance.

“I want to love you, but I better not touch (Don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison, yeah
I don't want to break these chains Poison, oh no
Runnin'deep inside my veins, Burnin'deep inside my veins
It's poison I don't want to break these chains”

I sung out the very last line as loud as I could…just as he entered. Smirking at the other girls, I jumped off the bar and grabbed the nearest bottle of whiskey. I poured shots by the dozens as the guys wolf-whistled and cat-called me. I actually really didn’t mind. It was comforting in a way.

“You intoxicated enough yet, Danni?” Meeri asked from beside me.

“Nope, but I’m on my way,” I replied back, giving a guy his order.

“Hey, Danni!” Christie yelled from the other end of the bar half an hour later. “Is that the moon I see?” She asked in code.

I grinned. “Yea, I think it’s time for a prowl.” I replied loudly, slipping off my heels and trading them in for the water shoes that were tucked under the bar shelf. We jumped up on the bar and I grabbed the megaphone. “Alright fuckers, I wanna see your palms! It’s time for a prowl!” I screamed, much to the delight of the regulars. In an instant, our catwalk was laid out before us in a patchwork of creams, chocolates, and peach.

I stood up on the nearest set of hands, steadied myself with the top bar, and began walking. I made it safely over to the table and did a few moves. “C’mon, ya’ll! Keep up those hands!” Christie yelled, her thick southern accent shining through. She smiled and winked at me.

Laughing, I nodded and we switched tables. We kissed each other’s cheek loudly when we met in the middle and kept on walking. For some odd reason, the guys always get a rise out of it. I don’t know, I thought that they would save some of those comments for if we actually made out….which has happened on several occasions now that I think about it.

Once the song ended, Meeri gave us the universal, come-back-here signal…which was a real bummer, because I was having fun for once. It was as if the past eight years had never happened. Like, Brian had never come into the bar and swept me off my feet. He wouldn’t have tricked me into falling in love with him. I wouldn’t have had to call him away from the party…which turned out to be Zacky instead. All that bullshit wouldn’t have happened. And I wouldn’t have embarrassed myself on national television. No, I would still be in the bar (most likely co-owner by now) with no hope of further excitement. And Brian…Brian would be better off. All the guys would be.

“Shit!” I hissed as I missed a step, causing me to fall through the crowd of people. I sharp pain split through my skull... and then, there was only darkness.