Gin and Juice

I took a quick, one hour nap before meeting Zacky on the back patio. He was leaning on the banister rail, looking at the quiet lawn and taking long drags on his cigarette. I walked up and leaned on the banister next to him.

“What happened seven years ago?”

“Which time?”

“The last time. What reason did Brian give for not coming to see me?”

Zacky sucked in a deep breath. “He was too messed up.”

“Bull. You couldn’t fool me seven years ago and you’re not going to fool me now.”

“Do you remember that night when you were really messed up?”

“Somewhat.”

“Well, you didn’t call Brian. You called me and said all those things. When you hung up, I knew that there wasn’t enough time to wade through the party to find Brian, so I went instead. I knew you needed help.”

“But, weren’t you drunk, too?”

“Only slightly. I was still okay to drive and, to tell you the truth, that phone call sobered me up quickly. So, I went to your house and… yea… that happened.” He turned to study my face. I couldn’t look him in the eye. “Danni, Brian never knew about the phone call until you told him about. Even then, he was too blind with rage to fully understand. And, well, given your job at the time and all.”

“Yea,” I turned to face him. “speaking of which, why did you still come even though you knew I was uncomfortable dancing in front of you?”

“Why did you still dance for me?”

“I needed the money.”

“Well, I needed to protect you.”

“From what?”

“Other bastards like me and the rest of the guys.”

“You’re some of the sweetest guys I know.”

“Only to close friends. You should see some of the shit we get into when we tour. We’re fucking animals.”

I nodded, knowing full well what the guys were like to me before I was Brian’s girlfriend.

“I overheard some things about you that I wasn’t supposed to hear and I felt like I needed to protect you. I mean, you were like a sister to me by then.”

“Why didn’t I hear about this? Did Brian know?”

“No, only I knew. I didn’t want to get in the way of Brian’s rage.”

If I were in any other situation, then I would be laughing my ass off by now…but I wasn’t... this was a serious conversation. A conversation that was way overdue.

“Danni, he really did love you, even though he never said it,” Zacky said softly, breaking the long silence.

“I bet he did. But it means nothing now. I’m happy with where I’m at and he’s happy with where he’s at- with Michelle.”

“Where are you at exactly?”

“I’m a choreographer for an LA dance studio. I’m also one of the main instructors. I’m only here because I got a call saying that they needed a ballroom dancer- apparently the original female lead got hurt or something. I don’t know, Kale didn’t tell me anything.”

“So, is he your boyfriend or something?”

If I was drinking anything, I would have spewed it all across the lawn. Instead, I laughed uncontrollably and had to hold my sides because it hurt so much.

“What? Syn said that you two looked so into each other when you were dancing…”

“No, he’s just a really good friend that was in a few dance classes with me and he’s helped me out so many times.”

“I don’t believe that. Remember that I’ve known you since kindergarten.”

“Zacky-babe, hate to burst your bubble and all, but Kale’s gay.” I replied when I got my breath back.

“Wait…what?”

I wheezed out my last few laughs and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to put it very simply for you. I’m a dancer. We act with our bodies. We tell a story with every motion we make. We fake emotions to cause an unforgettable scene.”

“Like you did seven years ago with Brian.”

“I thought we put this behind us.”

“I’m still trying to figure things out.”

“Listen, Zacky, you heard me pouring my heart out that day. Everything I said was true. The drugs didn’t make me say it- they just helped me express it.”

Zacky smiled and pulled me into an affectionate hug. He kissed the top of my head in a brotherly way and rested his chin on my head. “I know, Danni. I always believed you.”

“Well, you kinda witnessed it firsthand.”

“Shhh, don’t ruin the moment, Cupcake!” he whined, using my first ever nickname that the group gave me.

I hit him hard on the chest, but not hard enough to really cause any pain.

“Abuse, abuse!” He shrieked, holding a hand over where I had just hit him.

“You’re such a fake,” I laughed, pushing him for good measure.

“Heeey, not cool,” he said, running his arm. He looked over my shoulder and nodded. I tensed, knowing that whatever it was behind me was not good.