Disappear

The sound of freshly fallen snow collapsing beneath the girl's ankle high boots made her feel nothing but heartache. There were so many people in the world that wished for a winter wonderland scene during Christmas time, but she had wished that this entire month would just simply disappear or at the very least, that the memories from this time last year would so she wasn't left feeling like this around such a joyous time.

The cold wind nipped at her nose, ears, and fingers but she ignored it as she continue on towards her destination. She imagined about this time, the rest of her family would be preparing to set up the Christmas tree. Her brother would be digging through the decorations, looking for ornaments, her father would be returning home with a tree that everyone had helped pick out yesterday, and her mother would be in the kitchen, humming the tunes to some silly Christmas song. They were still trying their best to make everything seem the same as always, but it never would be. The one that would be missing out on everything this Christmas would be her. No, that wasn't right, because he would be missing this Christmas too.

As she passed through another empty field, she could hear the laughter and screams of children growing closer. It wasn't surprising to believe they would already be out sledding, creating snowmen, and having snowball fights. After all, the fresher the snow, the easier and funner it was to do those things. He had been the one that taught her that after he was able to convince her that the snow and cold wasn't as horrible as she once thought.

A small smile slipped across her face as the memory of them at the park came into her mind. He had been persistent enough that she had agreed to make a trip back home with him to spend this holiday season with their families. After they arrived and spent the week here, he had taken her to a park with the rest of his family and her's as a fun little activity to do. Little did she know, at the time, that he had something more planned. That's the day he had propose and surprised everyone at the park.

They spent that next year planning their wedding. She wanted something in the summer, when the warmth of the sun brought out the beautifully colored flowers and cold drinks were the best way to beat the heat. He wanted it in the fall, because he always thought she had a natural shine to her during that season. They had settled on in the middle of both seasons and set the place for their hometown. That next winter, they returned once again to spend another Christmas with their families.

But that was the last time they would ever spend a holiday together. After a late night of shopping for presents, they were headed home, singing along to one of the usual Christmas songs on the radio. They were unable to avoid the oncoming car that had veered off into their lane and within moments, had hit them head on. She never knew he had passed away until she had woken up on Christmas Eve, surrounded by his family and her's. After that, she knew nothing in her life would be the same.

She hadn't realized how long she had been lost in the past and the bittersweet memories until she looked up to find the main entrance to the town's cemetery. She could feel the tears burning at the edge of her eyes and a lump forming in her throat, but she pushed on. This seemed to be the only time that she felt like he was actually listening to her. She had come here almost every time she had a chance. It was a long drive, but their apartment was sometimes too much to bear and talking to her family over the phone didn't help her feel much better.

There she stood, staring at the name that use to belong to somebody, rather than a piece of a memory or a stone to show where his final resting place was. She carefully dusted off the snow the covered the top of the engraved stone before bending down to find she wasn't the only one that had come to see him today. A fresh bouquet of different kinds of flowers had been left behind, but she wasn't entirely sure who might have left it. Maybe her mother or maybe his parents. There were plenty of possibilities, seeing as this was the one year anniversary of his passing.

"Can you believe it's been a year already?" She began, feeling the familiar warmth of her tears streaming down her face. "I guess maybe you believe it, but everything still feels so fresh and new to me."

She pulled the sleeve of her jacket up closer to her hands and carefully wiped away the tears that had fallen so far. It wasn't of much use, since she knew more would be coming shortly. "I still wish every day you were here. I guess it's a bit selfish for me to even think this, but I wish even more that I could have gone with you. I know you wouldn't have allowed it, so that's probably why I am standing here today."

That was all she said, but she stayed there for a few minutes longer, taking in the quietness that had come along with winter before getting up and beginning her trek back home. The last thing she said before she walked out of the cemetery was a simple 'I love you'.

---

Five years had passed since the one year anniversary, but the figure headed towards the cemetery this time wasn't the boy's fiance. Instead, it was a young boy that looked to be about 17 or maybe closer to 18 now. In his hand, he held a bouquet of late summer and early fall flowers.

As he reached his destination, the boy said nothing, simply placed the bouquet between the two headstones. He could feel they were nearby today, but he assumed it was simply because they were just passing through. Every now and then, he felt as if they were watching him, but those feelings usually disappeared shortly after they arrived. After all, they really didn't have a reason to linger around anymore. Everyone in their families was doing well and they had each other again.

And so the boy, a smile on his face, turned and headed back out the way he came. He didn't want to be late for the family tradition of decorating the tree. He remembered his sister was late for the first few years after the anniversary, but after that, she was always there to watch. After getting sick, she had moved back home and when her health began to decline, the traditions changed a bit so that she could stick to the one she had developed after his death. The family would decorate the tree and then head over to the cemetery with her. But now, the little brother was the only one that came on the anniversary. Everyone else had chosen their own days, though they all knew that the couple was probably wasn't hanging around here anymore.