Nothing Really Matters

I had gotten a concussion but was fine besides that. Well, not fine, at least not mentally, but there really wasn’t anything wrong with me physically and I had been discharged before morning. Gale had tried to talk to me a few times, but I wasn’t ready to speak yet. There was so much to process and I needed to know they were going to be ok before I even tried to talk to anyone. Norman’s mother and sister had arrived during the night and they were sitting by his bedside when I entered the room. They kept him sedated, just to protect his brain. His face were swollen and both eyes were black and his left hand was bandaged. He had a tub down his throat, helping him breath. I stood there, stock still, in the doorway without being able to walk inside. I had even start to back away when his sister turned and spotted me.

“Andrew… How are you?”

When I tried to speak, nothing came out. I cleared my throat and tried again.

“I’m fine… I can come back later if you…”
“No, come in, please.”

I took a seat on the opposite side of the two women. We hadn’t met that many times and it felt like I was invading.

“How are you? The doctor said you were with him when… When it happened? Where you attacked as well?”
“I just have a concussion, I’ll be fine. How’s he doing?”
“The doctors say he will be fine. He just needs some time. They will keep him under for another day at least, letting the swelling in his brain go down. But there shouldn’t be any permanent damage, they did a cat scan.”
“Good.”
“How’s London?”
“I don’t know. My wife is up there. I think she’s still in surgery. They said it was quite critical…”
“Did her father really do this?”
“Yes. She tried to stop him hurting Norman…”

I had to try to explain what had happened. She had tried to save his life. She was the reason their son and brother had been brutally beaten, but I needed them to know how hard she had tried to defend him. Marianne tore her gaze from her son and looked at me.

“We don’t blame her, Andrew. She wasn’t the one hitting him. I know I haven’t met her yet, but he has told me everything about her and I know how much he loves her.”
“She really does loves him too. Have any of you talked to Mingus and Helena?”
“They will be here tonight. Helena didn’t want Mingus to come at first, but he yelled at her for about 10 minutes before she gave in.”
“He needs to be here when he wakes up.”
“And when she does. They’ve gotten pretty close, haven’t they?”
“Yeah I guess they have.”
“She will be fine, Andrew. She seems like a pretty strong girl.”
“She is. I’m going to go join my wife. Could you let me know if anything changes?”
“Of course… I’ve asked them to put her here when the surgery is done.”
“They’re allowing that?”

A bit surprised I turned to Leslie when I rose to exit the room.

“I can be pretty persuasive when I want to.”

Gale was in the otherwise deserted waiting room. She got up to meet me, hugging me tightly. It all
came crashing down at that moment and I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. She just held me while I sobbed harder than I ever think I had before. I was terrified of losing them. Both of them. She had become such a big part of our lives the past months. But above all I was terrified for Norman's sake if she wouldn't make it through this alive. He would never be the same again. I found myself on the floor when I came to my senses again. She was rocking me gently in her arms, like I had seen her do to our kids so many times before. I knew she wouldn't ask, but let me tell her
when I was ready for it. I think I fall asleep for when I woke up again, Steven and Chandler was there and it was 7 in the morning.

"How are you doing?"

I sat up, leaning slight to both Gale and the wall. In looked over to Chandler.

"I'm fine."
"You don't look fine, Andy."

Steven said. They were both on the couch.

"It's been a shity 12 somewhat hours. .."
"Yeah...How is she?"
"They've finished the surgery, she should be taken to her room within the next half hour."
My wife spoke from beside me. I turned to look her as well.
"A nurse came by about 10 minutes ago, just before you got here."
"She's ok?"
"She's stable. Still critical but stable."
"But she's going to make it, right?"
Chandler asked and I could see the tears he tried real hard to keep from spilling over.
"She's tough as hell, she'll make it... She has to. Could we see her?"
"Yeah. But I don't know where..."
"She'll be with Norman. Leslie talked them into putting them in the same room. Do you want to come?"

Everyone was at their feet before I had finished my question. We headed back down to the ER. Mingus and Helena had arrived, making the room quite crowded. My eyes fell on the pail human being in the bed next to him. I couldn't see her face for all the tubs and wires. She was so pail it was hard to make out her arms on top of the white sheets. They most have washed her up, because I had a vague memory of her body being completely covered in blood when they loaded her into the ambulance. My head began to spin. I guess I really shouldn't be moving so much. I took the closest chair and ended up by her bedside, my wife right behind me with a hand on my shoulder. The room was so quite, the only sound came from the beeping machines. Her hand was freezing when I grabbed it in mine and kissed it lightly. She looked so tinny. We were joined by 2 doctors within an hour, breaking the silence in the room. I only listened with one ear, being too occupied with my own thoughts.

"Does miss Richardson have any family at all?"
I suddenly felt all eyes on me and I tore my gaze from her and looked around to the doctors.
"No. No, she has no family, it's only him...Us."
"She has no insurance....Well, she doesn't exists at all to be honest."
"Yeah, no she... She.... She was declared dead 8 years ago. London Richardson does not exist."
"I see... We will only use her first name then."
"What's wrong with her?"

The question came from Mingus.

"She's got a punctured lung and internal bleeding. She lost more than half amount of blood in her body before we were able to stop it. She's stable for now but... The next 24 hours will be critical."
"What about him?"
"We will take him of the respirator tomorrow if nothing else happens. He shouldn't have any complications, but we need to take it slow. We'll be back later today but you can always come find us if there should be any questions."
"What about the press? They can't be here."
"Don't worry, Mr. Lincoln, we're taken care of it."
"Thank you."
"How did he find her?"

I looked over to Mingus, but his eyes were locked on her when the question came.

"I don't know..."
"What happened?"

I think Steven was the one asking but my head was so full of trying to piece the event together. I know they wanted to know but I hated that Chandler and Mingus were there.

"If you're waiting for us to leave, it's not going to happen!"

The blond boy's words felt like a snap in the room and my eyes flu up to met his. I had never seen this side before, the determined and angry side. I turned to Helena but she just shook her head, letting me know there really wasn't any point in arguing.

"He was just there... Norman had just gotten back and we were getting ready to leave, you know just... talking and....He was there with a gun in his hand. I hadn't seen him before but I knew who he was before he spoke. He just talked to her at first. She offered to go with him. She just wanted to get him away from us... Protecting us... She knew he wouldn't hurt her... At least not like he wanted to hurt him... "
"So why didn't she go?"
"He wouldn't let her. She was ready to go with him, she would have but he stopped her. I stopped her too... I don't know what happened after that really. He hit me in the head with the gun and I was out."
"I was there..."

My eyes darted to Chandler.

"After he knocked you to the ground. I don't think either of you ever noticed the police. It's a good thing Norman talked to the security guys really, because they called the cops the moment he drove through the gates."
"But why didn't they stop him?"
"He's a federal agent, Mrs. Reedus... Well, was. I suppose the police were the once shooting him?"
"Yeah. A sniper from one of the houses on the other side. He put the gun to Norman's head after he had stabbed her. She didn't even fall to the ground... she just stood there, looking at them. I think she was going to jump him when they fired. I thought.... I thought... He was dead.... I thought he killed Norman."
"You screamed. I thought I just imagined that. You screamed. And she was screaming too...."
"Yes. She pulled out the knife and attacked him."
"Wait...What the hell are you saying?"

Steven asked.

"The knife she had got stabbed with... She pulled it out and began stabbing her dad when he fell to the ground."

The shock could be both heard and seen in all the faces in the room. It had fallen silent again, everyone trying to process what Chandler and I had told them. It was so surreal. Like something out of a bas thriller. She had told me this would happen but I had never in a million years thought it would actually happen. She really did have the fucked up family she had always said she had had. A part of me had thought or hoped that she was exaggerated about what she had been faced with. Now I know it had been just as fucked up and then some. She just had to pull this through. She had to be allowed to live a life without demons. She should be able to live the life she had always deserved, with people who loved and cared about her. She had that now. Every single person in that room cared about her on some level. I loved her. I had grown to love her and I needed her to survive. Mostly for his sake but also for myself and Chandler and Mingus.

.......................................

I had the most messed up dreams. It was so confusing keeping track of what was real and what was dream. They seemed to blur together. Mingus was in my dreams most of the times and sometimes it was almost as he was real, talking to me or someone else I couldn't make out. Just a shadow in the corner. There were a constant beeping both in the dreams and what I guess was reality. I was uncomfortable, soar and aching all over. I had tried to open my eyes but they were so heavy. It was hard to control my own body and it was frustrating as hell. But my head felt so heavy and tried and the only thing that made it better was to drift off to the dream again. I knew it was a dream because she was there. She was dressed in a white dress and all the scars and bruises where gone. She looked angelic with a glow around her. The dream lasted long enough for me to get annoyed I wasn't able to reach her. Every time I tried to touch her she slipped away. I could hear my mother's voice somewhere in the background, calling my name. I wanted her to met London. They hadn't met yet. Slowly but surely I managed to open my eyelids. It was bright, too bright.

"Norman?"

I blinked a few times, trying to focus on the figures hovering over me. My mother's face drifted into sight first, followed by my son's.

"Hey..."

My throat was sore, making my voice too rough and low.

"Thank God."
"Hi, dad."
"Hi..."
"How are you feeling, honey?"
"Like I've got run over by a train."
"Do you remember what happened?"
"I try nor too... How's she? Where is she?"

The same second I opened my eyes again I remembered what a bloody mess her body had been. It was an image that would hunt me until my dying day. When they hesitate a terrified thought struck me. My breath got caught in my throat.

"Breath, Norman. She's ok... London is still alive."
My mother's insuring hand on my arm made me breathe again.
"She's in surgery. They had to take her back this morning. Nothing major but she had some internal bleeding that got worse during the night."
"What day is it? How long have I've been out?"

"It's Monday morning, so a little more than 2 days... Oh, honey it's so good to see you awake again."

She embraced me but when it made me wince she quickly released me.

"I'm fine, mom. I'm fine, baby."

I reached out and stroke Mingus's hair. He hadn't taken his eyes away from me.

"Dad... She'll be ok, right? She's going to make it?"

His eyes were already red from crying but fresh tears fell down his face when he spoke.

"She'll make it through this. She has had worse..."
"It's bad, dad...Her heart stopped beating."
My breathing stopped again.
"They got her back, Norman. It was just for a few seconds. She really is fine. They're finishing up the surgery right now, it went really well. Andy just talked to the surgeons."
"Andy..."

His name came out in a breath. I hadn't even thought about him yet. Was he ok? What had happened to him?

"Andy is fine. He had a concussion, but other than that he is alright.”
“Do you want me to get him?

Just as Mingus asked, the door opened and they rolled her inside. I griped the railings of the bed so hard my knuckles must have turned white. I wasn’t prepared to see her like that. All covered with tubes, wires and god knows what. It was bad. It was really bad seeing her like that. I completely understood why Mingus had been crying. If I hadn’t already been so drained I probably would’ve cried as well. Andy followed after 3 medical dressed personal along with my sister. When she saw I was awake she rushed towards me and kissed me hard on the check. It was so good to see her again.

“Thank God you’re awake. How are you feeling? Are you ok?”
“I will be if she will.”
I looked past my sister to the love of my life, being looked over by a nurse.
“Mr. Reedus. Good to have you back. How are you feeling?”

One of the doctors approached me after my family had moved away from my bedside, given the good doctor some space to examine me.

“Fine. Is she going to make it?”
“Yes. She will be fine. The surgery went really well. She has lost a lot of blood and she will still be on a blood transfusion.”
“When is she going to wake up?”
“Give her a few hours. Her body has been through a lot. And you need to stay right where you are. I know you probably want to be by her side, but right now it would just make things worse. Stay put.”
“Whatever you say, doc…. She’s really ok?”
“Yes. The worst is over.”