Nothing Really Matters

The small microphone was attached to the top of her hoodie and I could see her trying real hard not to flinch as the assistant fingers touched her. Dealing with complete strangers were still a touchy subject. I placed my hand on her thigh and she quickly grabbed it and held on hard. She was nervous to the point that I could feel her tremble. Once everyone who didn’t have to be there though, had left, she relaxed. We were in our living room getting ready to finally sit down with Andy. Gale was there as well, for the simple task of making sure the camera was on point and turning it of if either of us felt a need to. She had refused point blank to have anyone else there and it was with relief she watched as everyone but Andy and Gale left the house.

“Are you ready for this?”

Andy leaned closer to her and stroke her head lightly. She nodded.

“Let’s do this.”

She messed up the slick and straight hair the hairdresser had just spent half an hour to get perfect before moving in closer to me. She turned to look at me when I laughed.

“What?”
“Nothing. I just love you.”
“Love you too… Alright, Andy let’s do this.”

Andy had protested at first but after giving him a quick course in how to use it, he was actually sitting with an iPad in his lap. We had collected questions from fans the day before and put them together in a document for him.

“Hey guys. How are you doing?”
“Good, man.”
“Why don’t you start with telling everyone why you’re doing this?”
“We both felt a need to try to explain what has been going on for the past months and frankly to calm things down a bit. I know a lot of you want to know about her.”
“Yeah, maybe you should introduce yourself, Lo?”
“Yeah, sure… Hey, guys. I’m London Reedus, newly wedded to this crazy redneck next to me. I’m 28 years old and was born in Boston, but have spent the past 10 years in New York. I’m a huge Walking Dead fan and I really appreciate all your questions and we will try to answer some of them as least.”
“Alright then… First one and maybe the most asked question; How and when did you guys first met?”
“We first met May 5th of this year in New York.”
“Wow, you actually remember the date? I had no idea it was May 5th.”

She said when she turned to me in surprise.

“Of course I remember. You change my life that day.”
“Well, you might just tell us the whole story.”

Andy said.

“Fine… I’ve been homeless in New York for the past 3 years and that day I was just trying to find some easy cash to be able to buy some food. And I found him… Well, I found his bag and I stole it.”
“It really was love at first sight for me. I know it’s crazy cause she actually stole my bag and it should’ve been the last thing on my mind. But I managed to track her down and I think that was the first time, when we actually talked… Well, you yelled, but I was just hooked.”
“I yelled at you?”
“Yeah.”
“You freaked me out! I mean, come on, how stupid could a guy get?”
“I’ve to agree with her, bro, sorry. You were pretty stupid. She stole from you, you track her down, you get your stuff back but let her have like 800 bucks and your home address and phone number. It sounded stupid then and it still sounds stupid. Sorry, man.”
“Yeah, it was kinda stupid. But I never regret it. I mean, look what happened, right….? What do you remember about what happened after the very first time we met?”
“I remember when we met again a week later. May 12th, right? Why did you leave your phone number, really?”
“I guess I just wanted you to be able to contact me if you wanted to. I kinda figured you would never go with me if I asked.”
“Not in a million years.”
“Yeah, so I figured I had to give you choice, so that’s why I left you my address and number.”
“We had been texting back and forth and you had kept calling me every day and I remember I wondered what hell was going on. Why you kept calling. I guess I wanted to know and I also found it harder to stay away from each day that passed. I have never… I haven’t had the best of luck when it comes to relationships before so I was extremely paranoid and wondered what the hell was wrong with him. I mean, why would he want to see me again? But then I was suddenly at his apartment in Manhattan and I never really left again. It was a couple of completely crazy days. We talked and talked and just… Got to know each other. And since you were just about to go back to Georgia, he asked me the first day if I wanted to go with him.”
“You actually asked her to move down here with you the first day?!”

Andy gaped at me.

“Yeah. I told you, I already knew it was meant to be. I knew I never wanted her to leave once she was finally there.”
“But still… So you came down here with him?”
“Yeah.”¨
“Do you want to talk about your father?”
“I kinda have to, haven’t I?”
“Not really but he has played a rather big part in your relationship. And there’re a lot of questions about what happened on September 11 .”
“I was abused by my father growing up. That first picture Norman posted on his Instagram, most of the scares of my back is souvenirs from my father. I’ve had a shity childhood and I ended up running away when I was 15, ending up in New York. The beating wasn’t the worst thing though. He was a control freak, always wanting to keep me close. I wasn’t allowed to have friends, boyfriends, go out at night, all that stuff. He said I needed to be controlled at all times and he was the only one who knew how. He had me declared dead a few years after I ran away but he never stopped looking for me. I figured New York was a pretty big city so I stuck around. Then we met and things got… Complicated. You know, cause of the show and him being a public figure…. There was a picture of the two of us in People about a week after we got here to Georgia. And my father was suddenly back and I ran… I left him for about a month and a half. I wanted to keep him safe but… I couldn’t stay away so I was back here with him again by the end of July. And we kept a really low profile and tighter security both on the set and here at home. Just to make sure my father wouldn’t find me again.”
“So what happened on September 11th? It was all hushed up pretty good by both the local police and the FBI.”
“Yes it was, but I think it’s time the world know the truth. They need to know what kind of man my father really was and why he really died.”
“Who was your father?”
“Christopher Richardson. My family owned one of the most successful oil companies in North America. Top of the food chain in Boston society. And he was FBI. So I guess he finally used all his influences trying to find me and he did that day.”
“Yeah, the two of us and Andy were on set, just getting ready to leave when he was suddenly there, waving a gun around and being drunk as hell. He wanted London to come with him home to Boston. It was just a damn mess all of it. Yelling, cursing and hitting all over the place. It was insane. Andy got hit in the head with the gun, being knocked out and bleeding and shit. It was…”

The image of Andy bleeding on the pavement suddenly flashed before my eyes and I trailed off. I still hadn’t processed the whole thing yet.

“He has always threaten the once that, in his opinion, got too close to me. I really thought he was going to kill all of us that day. He went for Norman after Andy and I just… I tried to stop him but he stabbed me… The police got there just in time, killing him with a shot in the head. I mean it was just… It was chaos. Andy had gotten a concussion and Norman was beat up pretty bad and I just wanted to get the hell away from there again. I was my fault. My fucked up family was the reason they got beaten up and I remember wishing you had never tracked me down that day.”
“I’m not.”
“I know, but that’s because you’re stupid.”
“We both would’ve gone through it all again, Lo, you know that.”

When Andy spoke I could see her eyes becoming slightly glassy and she looked away for a second.

“Do you need take a break?”
“No, I’m fine… I did leave though. I went back to Boston to try to get my life back. It was the least do after everything I had put you guys through. I’ll never understand what I did to deserve this, but you just never gave up on me.”
“I never will.”
“Yeah… I know I had to be able to control my life again, well, for the first time ever really. And it all started in Boston for me, so that’s why I went back there. For us to be able to stay together I had to deal with a lot of shit from my past and… There’s a lot of demons in my life and I’m still dealing with a lot of them.”
“I’ve a question about that… A lot of people really wants to know why her? Why did you choose her?”
“I don’t really think I chose her, it sort of just hit me in the head. I mean the very first time, I just had this… I felt a need to protect her, it was nothing I had experienced before. I’ve never really believed in love at first sight and or destiny or whatever you wanna call it but… Once she got to my apartment I just knew I never wanted her to leave. I’m getting sentimental as hell here but… You know, I know I couldn’t live without her in my life. And it took some time, but she finally allowed me to love her the way she deserved. It’s not been easy, not at all, but it’s been worth every second of it.”
“Damn, you’re making me fucking cry!”

Andy actually wiped away a tear when she leaned in to kiss me. And I noticed then that she had tears on her cheeks as well. She smiled however at me.

“Sorry, man… Well, the bottom line in all this is that I’m happier than I’ve ever been and she’s the reason for it. So to all you haters out there… Fuck you.”

I actually flipped of the camera and she joined in, laughing slightly a second later.

“You’re crazy…! Can I get to another question then? We’ve a lot of them left.”
“Shoot, Andy.”

She put both her legs over my lap and one hand behind my neck, where her fingers began playing with my hair.

“How was your wedding?”
“Fun!”
“Crazy.”
“So you really didn’t go from one kiss at the MSG event and then straight to get married?”
“No. As I said before, this has been going on since May. But it did go rather fast. Lo had just got back from Boston and, yeah, well, we did get married the day after.”
“In Vegas?”
“Yes. Once we agreed this was what we both wanted he suggested we do it right away so Vegas were really the only option at the time.”
“Why? Why did you decide to get married?”
“People are seriously asking that?”
“Yes, Lo they really are.”
“Well, why the hell does other people decided to get married? We love each other, isn’t that enough? I mean, why did you marry your wife?”
“For the same reason you did.”
“Exactly… I guess it’s just a more polite way of asking what the hell I did to make him want to marry me? I mean, did I threaten him?”

I actually laughed quietly at her. She was starting to enjoy this. I knew she would feel comfortable with Andy, but never like this.

“Yes, you may be right about that, honey… Seeing as there are a lot of question about what you will do with your 15 minutes of fame?”
“I see… You might want to help me out here.”

She turned to look at me.

“Me? Why? You’re doing just fine on your own, baby…. Alright… No, she didn’t threaten me into anything. I was actually the one to pop the question to get married. So much shit has happened the past 6 months and I just wanted to make sure she was truly, 100 % mine, before anything else happened. She has been the one I can’t live without for a long time now and it was time to let the rest of the world know that as well.”
“And about my 15 minutes of fame…I mean, come on, don’t you think I would’ve exposed our relationship a little sooner if that was what I wanted? I could’ve chosen to go to the press a million times, telling all sort of things and make a buck or two but it’s never been about that…. About this. I didn’t even know about Daryl Dixon before I was at his apartment in New York. You both asked me the same thing way back.”
“It would’ve been stupid not to ask… You must admit it looks a bit… Odd. You coming straight from the street into his life and suddenly living pretty damn good.”
“If I had wanted to live like this I would just have gone home to Boston. I’ve never liked money. To me, money is just trouble, it’s never helped me being… Privileged. It was the other way around. My family’s money could make a lot of things disappear.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that my closest friend in school suddenly vanished from the face of the earth and he had been at our house the last time anyone saw him.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying my father killed the kid and got away with it because everyone was too afraid to do anything about it and he had the money to make sure it all went away without a fuss…. So, no I don’t want or need his money or the fame. I don’t even like cameras.”
“So we won’t be seeing you on the red carpet anytime soon?”
“I don’t know. I’m working on it.”
“Wow… Really?”

Andy sounded just as surprised as I felt.

“I said I’m working on it, nothing else. But he wants normal so I’m trying…”
“No he doesn’t. He isn’t normal.”
“Hey!”
I protested but as so many other times ether of them seemed to care that I was actually there.
“You know what I mean. Not all of it, cause that could never happen.”
“No it really couldn’t. Seeing as ether of you are actually normal.”
“Exactly… But that part, you know the normal couples part… He wants that part and we haven’t really had that, and I’m not sure we ever will, but I’m working on it. I want that too, you know just being able to go out to dinner and have a great time without freaking out about all the fucking strangers around.”
“You mean like last night? You were out for dinner last night.”
“Yeah and it didn’t quite end that well… And I think that’s why we really need to do this. Once people, both press and fans, get to know us, well me, a little more, they will hopefully stop being so fucking nosy and mind their own business instead of harassing us when we just wanted to have dinner. Truth is, once all your secrets are out there, you’re really not that interesting anymore.”
“So you’re really here to spell the beans to the world?”
“Yes. And to make sure there no doubt he’s really mine and no one else’s.”
“How’s your relationship to the cast on the show?”
“Really?”
“I’m just reading the questions, honey.”
“Alright… It’s fine with most of them. I mean I kinda love you. I get along pretty good with most of them, better with some. I’m still scared as hell of Michael.”
“Really? Why?”
“He’s just… Scary and so huge and… Terrifying. I love Chandler, he’s the greatest kid ever, such a sweet and funny kid. We have a lot of fun on set. I haven’t really spent that much time with the girls on set for some reason.”
“Maybe because you scare the hell out of them.”
“I do not!”
“Yeah you do. You scared the hell out of me the first time we meet.”
“Well, that was your own fault.”
“Fine… Are you starting a family?”
“Not right now…. Right now we need to focus on just the two of us. But you never know what the future holds. Right?”
“Oh, so you want me to speak again…? Yes, right now it’s just you and me. I’m not sharing you with anyone just yet.”
“So there will be a honeymoon?”
“Yes.”
“God help us…”
“What the hell is that suppose to mean?”
“Oh, you know what I mean, Lo… Anyway… This is I guess just for you, London. You know, basic knowledge. Do you have any family?”
“He’s sitting right next to me. But I guess the question really is if I have any other family besides him. And no, I don’t. My brother died a couple of years ago and both my parents died last month.”
“What do you love most about Norman?”
“Wow…. That’s a hard on… I’m not sure. I mean I know one thing, but that’s not something I’m going to share with ya’ll…. But I love his loyalty to his family and to the show and everything else he does in life. He’s very protecting towards the once he love and always put their need before himself. And he’s a complete dork, which I happen to love as well.”
“What’s the best thing he’s ever done or said to you?”
“I know this is going to sound completely fucked up and not many people will understand, but I think it was actually one of the first days I spent with him in his apartment. He had tried to hug me and at the time I was just… Not going to happen in a million years… But he did anyway and I freaked and ran to the front door.”
“You’re right, this sounds fucked up.”
“Shut up, Andy I’m not done yet…! He gave me a chose that day. Ether walk through that door and leave or stay. It meant more than anything else that I actually had the possibility to choose what I wanted. I’ve never had the possibility to choose over my own life before, someone else has always made the decision for me.”
“And the worst?”
“The worst thing about him is that he can be extremely confusion when it comes to his temper. It’s like living with two hormonal teenagers sometimes instead of just Mingus.”
“Speaking of Mingus… Here’s another question. How are you getting along with Norman’s son?”
“Awesome. I really adore him, he’s the coolest kid I’ve ever met. He has been really great about all this.”
“What about you, Norman? Same question.”
“It’s probably the same answer to both of those questions. I love that she never seems to stop surprising me. She has come so long since we first met. And at the same time, it drives me insane that I never know what hell she is going to do next. It’s sort of like a blessing and a curse in one…. And I get along just fine with my son.”
“Well, that’s great. You’ve sort of answered this already, but what do you think of the show? And about Norman’s character?”
“I’m so fucking in love with Daryl that you have no idea...! I mean, I watched all seasons in less than then 2 weeks. I’m completely addicted and when it comes to Daryl…He’s my hero. I guess I can see a bit of myself in him.”
“A bit? Come on, Lo, you’re a female version of Daryl… Do you ever talk to her about Daryl? I mean, you know she could probably give you some good advice about him.”
“Yeah, we do. We usually talked about what we had done that day, on our way home and she always have some great input. You know, sort of like you and I do on set. I mean it was pretty crazy that she had figured out his entire back history after watching the very first episode. She nailed pretty much everything about his past just by that 5 minute scene with the squirrels.”
“How the hell did you do that?”
“He just reminded me of me.”
“I know the answer to this already, but what about your tattoo?”
“That wasn’t a question, Andy.”
“Is it Daryl’s wings?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Did you do it to cover up your scars?”
“Both yes and no. I have wanted to covered them up for some time, but never really found something worth covering them with. Until now.”
“Do you have any other scars?”
“Yes.”
“All from you father?”
“No.”
"Have you had other boyfriends? And if so, are they anything like him?"

She actually laughed, a humor less laugh.

"I've been in one serious relationship before this and.... Let's just say what that was... Well, it puts the fucking Wolves to shame. Making them look like cute little harmless puppies. So no, this is nothing like my previous relationships."
"Something you want to share?"
"Not at all."
"What would you do if a zombie apocalypse hit and how long do you think you'd survive?"
"I would be the last person standing... No, just kidding..."
"You would! She really would, she’s such a bad ass."
"Well, yeah I guess I kinda know how to survive but... I would diffidently survive you, your wimp."
"Totally true."
"I would probably do what Daryl does though. Being on a constant move and not trusting a damn person, keeping to myself somewhere in the woods."
"What's the story behind your choice of song for your wedding dance?"
"Panic, really... My mother asked us to dance so that she could see it and she gave us, what? 5 minutes?"
"Pretty much. Didn't seem like the best idea to get married in Vegas at that point I will tell ya that..."
"Yeah, so I kinda had to put something together in like 5 minutes and we were at this completely packed restaurant. But they were great about it all, very helpful. "Thinking out loud" was basically the first song that poped into my head. She has been playing that song pretty much every day here in Georgia and I know she loves Ed Sheeran. I mean it's a beautiful song and I really have fallen in love with her so many times now, and still am so... It's crazy."
"It sure made me cry.... I'm not sure you actually want to talk about this but there's a lot of questions about your... Well, about your love life."
"Really? What kind of questions?"
"You're gonna love this one, Lo.... Who do you prefer having sex with, Norman or Daryl?"
"You picked that one didn't you, Andy..? I should beat your ass, fuck, that's just..."
"What? I want to know, Lo and apparently so do a lot of other people."
"Do you want to talk about this?"

She turned to me for an answer. I felt a bit embarrassed about the whole thing but I knew she wouldn't have any problems talking about it. I shrugged a little.

"I kinda want to know as well, baby."
"Fine...I've never had sex with Daryl so the choice is pretty easy. I mean I'm not sure he has ever had sex at all... But I will say that... I mean I'm pretty damn weak for the whole Daryl Dixon outfit."
"Damn weak? Now, honey I'm pretty sure it's worse than that."
"Oh, shut up, Andy!"
"So the answer is....?"
"That Daryl would never be able to do a fraction of what Norman is able to do. He's too messed up emotionally and has too much baggage to deal with before he could have anything intimate with anyone."
"Probably true.... Was that what it was like for you?"
"A little... It just didn't take quite as long as it probably will for Daryl to get over his issues with touching and intimacy."
"Why? Why didn't take so long for you? How long did it take?"
"Did what take?"
"How long did it take for you to end up in bed together? You know, having sex?"
"Oh... Pretty much a week, right?"
"Depends on what you count as ending up in bed together."

I said when she turned to me. I smiled, winking a little at her. I could tell by the look she gave me that her mind had traveled back to our first week together.

"Yeah...."
"Lo?"

Andy tried to call her back to the present and she actually had to shake her head a little before turning back to him.

"Sorry... Flashbacks.... Yes, it took me about a week to be able to be that intimate with him. It was just hard showing myself naked. There's so much that needs to be explained once you've seen all the scares."
"So why did you finally give in?"
"Because I kept dreaming about it and it was just... It was just hot as hell and.... I mean, he's hot as hell and so fucking good getting under your skin, eye-fucking the hell out me that day as well. And then he said that all those scars had just been my way to him, you know that I wouldn't be there if I hadn't had them and then I was just... Fucking hooked. It was a few insane hours the first time and I knew I never wanted or needed anyone else afterward."
"I taught him that, the eye-fucking I mean."
"Sure you did, Andy."
"Ever do it on set?"
"Is that an actual questions or something you really want to know?"
"Oh, honey I know the answer to that question already. You're not as discrete about it as you might think you are, if you know what I mean?"
"And now so does the rest of the world...Thanks, man."
"We're running out of time, we actually need to go kill some walkers."
"Right... Thank you for your help, Andy."
"Anytime, honey."

I spun around and kissed her once the camera was off and Andy had joined his wife.

"You were awesome."
"Thanks..."
"Have you had media training?"

Gale asked.

"Why?"
"I just got the feeling you knew what you were doing. You know with camera angles and all that."
"Growing up at the top of the food chain in Boston kinda forced me in to it. My brother and I was drilled into the whole thing, we had to be the picture perfect family. So yes, I've had media training and apparently good enough for me not to forget about it."
"You looked great."
"Thanks, Gale."
"You coming?"
"I was actually thinking I'll stay home."
"Ok...Why?"
"Do I honestly need a reason not to freeze my ass off?"
"You could keep me warm in between takes."
"Tempting...."
"Oh God, please don't . I would like to be done shooting before the weekend starts. He would never be able to concentrate if you screw him all night."

"Andy!"

His wife burst out and hit his shoulder, but both of us just laughed, knowing her husband was probably right.