Crush Them Up

The sun disappeared behind a dark cloud and the city was immediately embraced by chilly darkness, making people wrap their jackets and hoodies tighter around their bodies. Soon the first few raindrops were making their way down onto the street, hitting the unluckiest of pedestrians on their foreheads. The crunchy leaves became damp and sticky, only adding to the depressing change in weather.

‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ a voice mumbled. The owner of the voice fastened their pace and whistled loudly once they had reached the road. ‘Taxi!’

Behind the owner of the mundane voice was a young man, dressed in a tight white button-up shirt and black skinnies, along with a pair of burgundy leather Oxford shoes and a black tie around his neck. He seemed to be a little out of his breath but he still managed to reach the road and grab the hand of the woman who had run off.

‘Wait, please let me-’ he managed to choke out before he was rudely interrupted.

‘No. Can’t you just get the hint? Why can’t you just stop with your sugar-coated act and leave me alone?’ the woman asked bitterly, pulling her hand out of the man’s grip.

‘But what did I do?’ the man asked, looking defeated and hurt.

‘Everything, Alex, everything! We had a one night stand, okay? I was frustrated, we chitchatted, we fucked, the end. And then you pull this crap? Next to my colleagues? What the hell!’ the woman said, her voice rising.

‘I’m sorry, I just thought-’ he tried to explain quietly but was once again cut off.

‘See, that’s your mistake. You thought. What, since we had sex I was suddenly your girlfriend? That’s not how it works, Alex!’ she shouted. A shade of light pink tinted the guy’s cheeks as the girl whistled once again and a taxi finally pulled up beside her.

‘You’re weird, Alex. Don’t you know the definition of a one night stand?’ she asked, more quietly.

‘I do! I just- I thought you liked me too and-’

‘Oh, cut it out. Don’t be a pansy. What did you expect, for me to fall in your arms? Jesus, now I’ll have to explain to everyone that, no, you were not my boyfriend and, no, I am not getting married.’

‘I’m sorry, Lisa, I honestly didn’t want to make a scene and- Lisa!’ he exclaimed, watching the girl get into the taxi. ‘I don’t have anywhere to stay, you said-’

She slammed the door shut before rolling down the window and letting out a taunting laugh. ‘Go tell someone else you want to marry them, pretty boy, maybe they’ll take you in,’ and with that the taxi drove off, Alex calling out Lisa’s name one more time.

‘Great. Just great. Fucking perfect,’ he muttered, willing himself not to cry. He wasn’t that weak. He was fine. He was absolutely fine. He took a deep breath, trying to ignore both the glares and the sympathetic stares from people walking past him, and put on his old leather jacket, shoving his hands into the pockets. As he made his way down the street, he tried to ignore the fact that he didn’t know where he was heading, instead enjoying the feeling of water droplets rolling down the side of his face.

It wasn’t all that long before he came across a large Starbucks and after ordering a cup of americano, he sat down by the window and popped his earbuds in, willing himself to stop feeling, if only for a second.

It would be a lie to say Alex lost track of time. He was aware of every single minute that had passed between his first and third americano. However, it still caught him off guard when he felt someone tap on his shoulder. He quickly looked up and was greeted by a red haired man telling him that they were closing up. Alex just nodded and once the man had walked away, grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the coffee shop, looking around before taking the spot on one of the benches on the opposite side of the street. It had stopped raining a few minutes prior so the bench was still wet and cold but Alex didn’t mind. With a sigh he pulled out his phone and started searching for a hotel within his price range, hoping to find someplace that wouldn’t care he hadn’t booked in advance, or that he would most likely not leave the room for two weeks.

As he was scrolling through the list, he missed the sound of footsteps approaching and his heart skipped a beat when he heard someone cough right in front of him. Looking up, he was greeted by the same red haired man he had seen inside Starbucks, only difference being he was now dressed in all-leather clothing, including his boots. ‘Hey man, you okay?’ the red haired stranger asked, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his pants.

Alex stared at the guy with a blank look before giving him a hesitant nod. ‘Yeah, I’m alright. Cheers,’ he mumbled, going back to staring at his phone.

‘Mind if I have a fag, British boy?’ the red haired guy asked as he sat down on the opposite side of the bench and without waiting for a response lit his cigarette. ‘Want one?’ he offered, holding out his pack of Marlboro, when it became obvious Alex wouldn’t reply. Alex stared at the pack for a long, awkward couple of seconds before looking up at the strange man who then gave him an encouraging smile. After Alex had picked up one of the sticks, the other man was quick to use his lighter to light up Alex’s cig and then leant back into his seat, pulling one of his legs up to rest on the bench. ‘So, rough day?’ he enquired again and Alex gave up, knowing that the other man wouldn’t stop trying to make him talk.

‘You could say that,’ Alex muttered, taking a long drag before his eyes widened comically and he coughed on the smoke. He wasn’t going to admit it but he had never even held a cigarette before. Then again, he didn’t need to say anything because his watering eyes were enough of a clue and the red haired stranger laughed, no, giggled, and Alex blushed, pretending not to care as he cautiously took another drag.

‘I’m Gerard, by the way,’ the guy introduced himself once Alex’s breathing returned to normal.

‘Alex,’ the boy replied, loosening his tie.

‘Suits ya. Anyway, what’s got you down?’ Gerard asked, breathing in the smoke like it was air.

‘I told you I’m fine,’ Alex rolled his eyes, wondering why the man was even trying to talk to him in the first place. He would’ve been worried but the man didn’t really seem like the type to want to stab Alex for the sick joy of it, nor did he give off strange vibes. In fact, Alex quite liked his presence. Now that was weird. He blamed it on the fact he felt heartbroken.

‘See, I’d believe you if I hadn’t watched you paint the entire corner of Starbucks in melancholic atmosphere and then sit in that self-made cloud of depression for three and a half hours. So, I think it’s in your best interest to talk to me because it’s obvious you’re not alright,’ Gerard stated with a shrug and took his last drag before dropping his cigarette. ‘So?’ Gerard pressed again.

Alex sighed and put his phone into the pocket of his jacket. ‘A lot of things,’ he finally said and Gerard tilted his head.

‘Such as?’ he enquired.

‘I haven’t slept in more than twenty four hours,’ Alex started and Gerard quirked an eyebrow, waiting for him to carry on. ‘I proposed. I got broken up with. Or, well, not really, because according to her we were never even dating. My luggage was lost at the airport, and even if they find it, I gave them Lisa’s address, and now… Well, now I’m just not sure of what’s happening and the ring in my pocket is burning a hole in my skin,’ Alex listed as his face turned expressionless again in an attempt to hide the fact he wanted to cry again.

‘Oh, man. I’m so sorry,’ Gerard said, giving Alex’s shoulder a squeeze which only made him want to cry more.

‘Well, yeah. What’s happened, happened, can’t do anything about it now,’ Alex sighed and put his cigarette out before throwing it away.

‘Exactly!’ Gerard exclaimed and Alex gave him a strange look. ‘You can’t do anything about what’s happened. So, you’ve come here from the UK, right? Do you have anywhere to stay?’ Gerard asked, a childish grin on his face. Alex wasn’t sure how he felt about the man who had seemed so intimidating minutes ago being so friendly all of the sudden.

‘Not yet, that’s why-’ Alex was interrupted when Gerard clapped his hands together.

‘You can stay at my flat!’ Gerard offered and Alex stared at him in disbelief. ‘Well, not exactly mine, I share it with my brother and some of our friends, but we’ve got plenty of room so you can stay until you find a place to move into! How long are you in New York for?’ Gerard asked, not giving Alex enough time to reply.

‘I-What-Are you serious, mate? You don’t even know me! I could be a murderer for all you know… Or vice versa!’ Alex said, searching for words.

‘Well, if you stay on the streets for much longer, you’ll end up getting mugged and I’ll feel guilty if I find you dead in the alleyway, so I think that’s enough to persuade you. You can always tell someone where you’re going so that if I’m suddenly possessed by, for example, a demon, they’ll be able to call hunters,’ Gerard answered, grinning widely.

‘Did you just reference Supernatural?’ Alex asked, furrowing his eyebrows at the strange man next to him.

‘Might have. So, how about it?’ Gerard asked, getting up from the bench. Alex tried to run through the pros and cons in his head, and suddenly he was overcome by a feeling of ‘why the fuck not’ and nodded, getting up. He could regret being this reckless after he got some sleep.

‘I, um, thanks, man. I’m here for two weeks and, yea, I sorta planned to stay with my… ex, I guess,’ Alex answered, scratching his head. The red haired man gave him an encouraging smile.

‘No problem, man. One thing though, you will be dragged to our gig later tonight,’ Gerard said and Alex looked at him confused. ‘Sorry, can’t leave you in the flat alone. It’s gonna be a short one,’ Gerard explained.

‘You’re in a band?’ Alex asked and mentally facepalmed, because the guy had just told him they were going to their gig so of course he was in a band.

‘Yep! I sing,’ Gerard exclaimed happily as Alex followed him down the street. Alex nodded and forced himself to smile, hoping he wasn’t making a big mistake but at the same time quite curious to see how the night would unfold. It was exciting, in a messed up way, and Alex hoped he wasn’t about to die because he felt like he might actually enjoy Gerard’s presence, as strange as it was.

After a short subway trip, Alex found himself behind Gerard as the red hair unlocked the door to his flat on the building’s top floor. The flat was indeed quite impressive. From what Alex could make out, there was a kitchen to his left and a living room in front of him. At the end there was a large window and a balcony, and to his left there was a hallway with four doors.

‘Right, anything to drink? Beer, coffee… tea with some milk?’ Gerard asked, a teasing smile making its way onto his face.

If Alex would’ve known Gerard any better, he would’ve rolled his eyes and told Gerard it was a useless stereotype. Instead he stumbled as he kicked off his shoes and stood by the door, his clothes still wet and clinging to his skin. ‘Uh, black coffee would be nice,’ he said, awkwardly taking a step away from the door. As Gerard worked on making them their drinks, Alex missed the sound of the doorknob turning and so nearly ended up crushing into the wall when the door shot open, hitting his backside. Alex let out a quiet yelp and moved out of the way. The man that came in looked nothing like Gerard. He was way shorter with pitch black medium length hair and tattoos on his neck and hands. Despite this, he was wearing a soft, beige cardigan and Alex furrowed his eyebrows at the combination. The newcomer quickly scanned Alex before he pulled off his combat boots.

‘Gee, you have to tell your brother to stop bringing cute guys to our apartment. I might end up cheating on you,’ the man said, pulling his hand through his hair and giving Alex a cheeky smile as he walked past him.

‘I’ll have you know this is my doing, not Mikey’s,’ Gerard stated.

‘What, since when are you bringing home cute guys?’ the dark haired guy asked.

‘Since you. Alex, this is Frank, my boyfriend, Frank, this is Alex,’ Gerard explained and Frank smiled at Alex.

‘So, where did Gee find you?’ the man – Frank – asked Alex as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and then leaned against the counter.

‘On a street,’ Alex mumbled before his face went red when he realized how wrong that sounded. His brain had no filter and instead of saying outside Starbucks, of course he had to make a fool of himself. ‘I, uh, I mean, I was being miserable in Starbucks and- yeah-’ he attempted but shut up when he heard Gerard giggle.

‘What he meant to say was that he was having a pity party in Starbucks and I talked to him after my shift,’ Gerard explained. ‘Frank, can you show Alex to the shower? Get him some sweatpants and a dry shirt,’ he ordered, turning away again.

‘Sure,’ Frank replied and motioned for Alex to follow him down the corridor. Alex did, trying to ignore the squeaky sounds that his wet feet made as he made his way to the bathroom. Frank opened the door for him before walking into the next room to his right. Alex could hear him rummaging through the drawers and soon after that, Frank showed up with a pair of Mickey Mouse sweatpants, boxers and a white shirt.

Alex picked them up with a small thank you and quickly stepped inside the bathroom, closing the doors behind him. He grabbed his phone and shared his location with Josh through WhatsApp, who replied with three question marks, despite it being 3am. Alex replied with a in case i die. i'll call you tomorrow. He got rid of his wet clothes as quickly as possible and let out a happy sigh once the warm water touched his skin. He hadn’t even noticed he had been freezing before but as the warm water made its way down his body, he couldn’t help but shiver and whimper at how good it felt. The water started dripping from his hair and soon enough Alex felt tears stinging his eyes. He pressed his forehead against the wall of the shower and took deep breaths. ‘Fuck,’ he choked out before he started rubbing at his eyes, hoping he could control himself. It didn’t really help so he ended up trying to take his mind off his thoughts by grabbing a soap bar and rubbing at his skin, watching the small white bubbles form. In less than four minutes he was out, drying his hair with a towel.

He pulled on the underwear and the sweatpants Frank got him and as he was about to pull over the white shirt, the bathroom door opened and Alex looked up, making eye contact with yet another stranger. A small blush creeped on Alex’s cheeks and the stranger blinked a few times before letting his eyes travel up and down Alex’s form. ‘Sorry, dude,’ and with that the stranger was gone. Alex shrugged it off, reminding himself to stop being awkward as he pulled the shirt over his head. He quickly ran his hand through his mostly dry hair and brushed it to the side, and after checking himself in the mirror, he headed out.

As he tip-toed into the living room, he was greeted by the view of Frank sitting down with his guitar and Gerard singing softly into the mic. There were more people sitting on the sofa and Alex had to take a deep breath to prepare himself. He picked up what he presumed was his cup of coffee from the counter and then slowly made his way further into the room, everyone except for Gerard unaware of him being there.

‘Oh God, Frank, I told you to throw out that pair of sweatpants. I’m so sorry, Alex,’ Gerard sighed theatrically and Alex stared, a little confused because he honestly didn’t mind the sweatpants but decided to play along to break down his own walls.

‘Well, that was probably your plan all along. Get me here and force me to wear Disney clothing. Make it seem like I’m homeless,’ Alex forced himself to laugh, keeping his smile even when most of the heads turned to look at him. Alex gave them a little wave and sent a toothy smile to the guy he’d seen in the bathroom a few minutes ago.

‘Technically you are,’ Frank pointed out and it earned him a slap to the back of his head from Gerard.

‘Excuse Frank’s manners. Oh, right, he doesn’t have any! I’ll get you another pair, we’re going to leave in about twenty,’ he told Alex before turning his attention to the rest of the people. ‘Everyone, this is Alex. Alex, this is Mikey, my brother, Ray, our lead guitarist, Cass, our drummer’s girlfriend and our biggest fan, apparently, Zack, our second biggest fan and photographer, and Jack, Mikey’s boyfriend,’ he listed and Alex knew he’d forget the names in a second. He forced himself to remember Cass’ name and gave a little nod, as if to say hi. ‘Mikey, pack up the gear, okay? I’ll get rid of those God awful sweatpants,’ he said and walked past Frank, who rolled his eyes.

Gerard took Alex’s hand and dragged him back down the corridor and into the room Frank had previously entered. He sat Alex down on the bed as he opened his wardrobe to search for some other trousers as Alex sat at the end of the bed, looking around the room. ‘Sorry about all the people. It’s a big evening, we scored a good slot for our performance so we’re pretty excited. Here, have these gray ones,’ he said as he handed Alex a new pair of sweatpants who accepted them with a smile. He quickly got up and changed, popping his phone into the back pocket of the trousers.

When he looked at Gerard, the other was rocking a black Smashing Pumpkins vest and applying eyeliner. He threw the pencil at Alex who raised an eyebrow, unsure of what to do. ‘Come on, where we’re going whether you’re wearing eyeliner or not is critical,’ he laughed as he picked out two leather jackets, a red one for himself and a black one for Alex, as well as a pair of combat boots similar to Frank’s. ‘Twelve?’ Gerard asked and Alex nodded lightly. He walked over to the mirror, trying to do his best with the eyeliner, and when he turned around, Gerard faked a shocked gasp. ‘God, that’s so hot. Come on, British boy, relax. I know we’re being loud today but-’

‘It’s fine. I’m thankful, it takes my mind off my problems. I’ll just… let me take it slowly, alright? It feels a little strange, is all,’ Alex smiled, this time for real, and Gerard nodded, handing Alex the black jacket and boots.

‘Okay then, come on. Time to turn you into our third biggest fan,’ Gerard giggled as he flipped his hair and Alex laughed, following him out of the room.