Explosions

Charlie got home from work on Wednesday the next week to find J.J., Ryan, Andre, and Brian gathered around the coffee table with their playbooks. She smiled and set down the mail. J.J. looked up, and he smiled at her.

“You boys staying for dinner?” asked Charlie.

“I’m gonna get going home probably around seven,” said Andre. “The lady’s making chicken and biscuits.”

“Yeah, and I’m meeting Georgie for dinner, too,” replied Brian. “Maybe I’ll catch you next time?”

“I’ll hold you to it, but tell Georgie I said hello,” said Charlie. “Ryan?”

“I don’t know yet,” said Ryan. “But I do need your advice on something. Kinda private.”

“Okay, sure,” said Charlie. “Let’s go into the kitchen. I can start getting dinner ready.”

He stood up and followed her into the kitchen. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail as he sat down at the counter.

“How was your date with Kelsey?” asked Charlie.

“That’s kind of what I need to talk to you about,” Ryan sighed. “It was okay. She’s not a very good conversationalist.”

“What do you mean?” said Charlie.

“She spent a lot of time on her phone,” explained Ryan. “I would ask her a question, and she would answer it. That was about it. She didn’t have anything to ask me or say. She was nice. Pretty, I guess, but she just was so…bland.”

“Well how was it when you dropped her off at home?”

“I told her I’d call her. I did. I called her Monday.”

Ryan paused, and Charlie put her hands on the counter in front of him. He scratched his chin and shook his head.

“I don’t know what to do,” he said.

“Well, are you going out again?” asked Charlie.

“She said she was checking to see if she was free Friday night, but she still hasn’t gotten back to me,” said Ryan.

“Well, you don’t have to go out with her again. You’re not obligated to date her just because Tamika set you up. She set Brice up last year, too. That girl was psycho.”

“I was going to try one more date,” said Ryan. “I thought maybe she might have just been shy or something. It was just so weird, you know? You and I always talked about everything. And Liza, with all of her mindless chatter about work sometimes, we still had great conversations.”

“If you’re going to give it another shot, just keep an open mind,” suggested Charlie.

“Maybe we could go on a double date?” said Ryan. “Maybe it’s just me she’s not comfortable with.”

“No, that is a terrible idea,” said Charlie. “Until you’re serious about a girl, don’t ever subject her to a double date. You don’t want to force yourself on her, let alone your friends.”

“Okay. The ball is basically in her court now. She said she would call back when she knew more about Friday. It’s in two days, but maybe she doesn’t want to go out again either.”

“Ryan Fitzpatrick, who wouldn’t want to go out with you?” said Charlie.

Ryan smiled and said, “Thanks, Char. I guess I’ll just wait and see what happens.”

“Keep me updated,” she said.

He turned to leave.

“Hey Ryan?” she said, stopping him.

He turned around and said, “Yes?”

She thought about telling him she missed the conversations they used to have, when things weren’t so complicated between them. She thought about telling him he would find someone soon. She thought of all the things she could have said to him, but none would have come out the way she wanted them to sound. Instead, she smiled.

“Nevermind,” she said. “Hope it works out the way you want it to.”

Ryan took her hand and held it for a second. He gave it a gentle squeeze and said, “Thanks again.”

When she was alone, Charlie sat down at the counter and rubbed her hands together. She took a deep breath, and she looked around the kitchen. She stayed there a moment before deciding she should get dinner started, as was her original plan.

She heard J.J. and Ryan laughing about something in the living room, and she smiled lightly.

---

Charlie held the phone to her ear, listening to the ringing on the other side. She knew the familiar voice wouldn’t actually speak to her, but his voicemail made her a little more at ease. She inhaled sharply, but the ringing stopped.

“Hello?”

Her heart jumped into her throat, and suddenly she didn’t know what to say.

“Charlie, I know you’re there,” Ryan said. “Will you just say something?”

“Hi,” she squeaked. She cleared her throat and said, “I’m sorry. Hi.”

“Look, June made it explicitly clear a couple months back that I wasn’t to speak with you,” said Ryan.

“I know,” said Charlie. “I’m sorry I called. It’s just that… Well, I know you’re in Cincinnati. I have an internship interview in Cleveland on Monday, and I just didn’t know if you wanted to get lunch.”

There was a pause on the other end, and for a moment, she thought she’d lost connection.

“I think I can do that,” he said.

Her heart skipped a beat.

“Okay,” she said.

She was silent. He didn’t usually pick up. She was unprepared for this.

“How about you land in Cleveland, and we’ll go from there?” Ryan suggested.

“Okay,” Charlie said again.

“Do me a favor, though?”

“Anything.”

“June doesn’t need to know about this. You know she won’t let you.”

“June doesn’t run my life, okay?” said Charlie. “I don’t care what June thinks. Is she going to keep me here? Keep me from my job interview?”

This was the most words she’d spoken in almost three months.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Ryan said. “I gotta get going right now.”

“Okay,” said Charlie. “Um…bye.”

“Bye, Charlotte,” said Ryan.

She held on as she heard the other line go silent. The door to the dorm opened, and she put her phone down. She half smiled at June as her friend shut the door behind her.

“Who was that?” she asked.

“My mom,” Charlie lied. “Just checking in.”

“Did you tell her I said hi?” June said.

“No,” sighed Charlie. “No time, really. Kyle was arrested for possession again. It’s getting worse.”

June eyed her friend, who lay back down on her bed.

“Are you packed for your interview?” she asked.

“No,” said Charlie. “I’ll get there soon.”

June put her hands on her hips and said, “Charlotte, you need this. I know it’s been really hard for you since you and Ryan broke up, but you’ll see. You need this change. If you get this internship, it could be big! You’ll be working for the Cleveland Cavaliers!”

Charlie smiled, but she pulled the covers up to her nose. Her heart wouldn’t stop pounding.

---

“What did you and Ryan talk about?” asked J.J., slipping his shirt off over his head.

“He was having some girl troubles with that chick Tamika set him up with,” replied Charlie.

“Girl troubles?” J.J. echoed. “A guy like Fitz? What could he possibly have troubles with?”

“I guess she’s just not very good at talking,” she said. “He doesn’t know anything about her, and he said it seems like she’s not about to let on.”

J.J. climbed into bed and put his arm around Charlie’s waist. He mumbled something that Charlie didn’t hear, then his lips touched her arm gently. She sank back into the bed, and J.J. moved to climb on top of her. She stopped him.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m just…I’m just not in the mood tonight,” she said.

“Okay,” said J.J., lying back down. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just not in the mood, okay?” she snapped.

J.J. frowned and said, “You don’t seem okay. You’ll talk to me if it’s not, right?”

“Yeah,” said Charlie. “Can I just go to bed?”

She turned over and shut the light off, leaving him sitting there and staring at her. Her hands played with the seam of the quilt, and he could tell she wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. He shrugged it off.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too, J.J.,” Charlie replied.

He turned and shut his own light off, and soon Charlie could hear him snoring peacefully. She turned and watched him sleep for a while, her eyes outlining his every muscle and curve in his skin. She couldn’t remember when she fell asleep, but when she woke up the next morning, he’d already left for the stadium.