Explosions

After the funeral on Wednesday, Olivia and Charlie were sitting on the couch together. J.J. was in the kitchen, helping Wendy get dinner ready. Jim and a few of the other relatives were in the backyard chatting. Charlie turned the T.V. to ESPN, and watched the headlines on the sidebar.

“You don’t look happy,” said Olivia.

“Of course I don’t,” said Charlie. “Kyle’s gone.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Olivia said. “I know you and J.J. got in a fight on Sunday.”

“We didn’t get in a fight,” sighed Charlie.

“That’s not what he said. He’s right, though, Char. You can’t let yourself think things would be different if you were here. I can tell you, they wouldn’t. I almost dropped out of college for Kyle, and do you think he cared? Not one fucking bit. Did you know he tried to give me to his drug dealer so he could get high?”

“What?”

“He told me he needed to talk to me and that it was very important. We met at this restaurant, and this guy Freddie walked up and joined us. He kept touching me, and they were talking about how many grams I was worth before I finally spilled hot coffee on his dick. Kyle tried to chase after me, but I got into a taxi before he could catch up to me.”

“Olivia…”

Olivia looked up at Charlie and said, “I tried to forgive him. I tried every day, but I couldn’t. Sometimes I don’t know if he was just going to give me up for the night or for the rest of my life. I don’t ever want to know.”

“You should have called me,” said Charlie.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” said Olivia, wiping a tear from her eye. “You’ve got your life so together, Charlie. I’m so envious that you got away. When I’m done this year, I’m moving to the Midwest. Chicago, maybe, or Minneapolis. I can’t take this city anymore.”

“If you need a place to stay, you can always come to Houston,” Charlie said, taking her sister’s hand. “I promise, I’m always here for you. J.J. and I have plenty of room.”

Olivia tried to smile. She tapped a finger on the neck of her beer bottle, then took a drink.

“He did apologize to me,” she said. “During the time he was getting clean, he apologized to me several times. I thanked him, but I never forgave him. Not even for a second.”

“You didn’t have to,” said Charlie. “He made your life miserable, Liv.”

“Was he like this when I was younger?” Olivia asked.

“He always ran with the misfit crowd. He never really partied or anything. After he turned 16 and he could go wherever he wanted, he started smoking weed. We all did once in a while, but he did it a lot. He got hooked on the feeling of being high, so he did it all the time.”

“I can’t remember a time he wasn’t stoned,” said Olivia.

“Mom coddled him,” agreed Charlie. “‘Boys will be boys’, she always told me. That wasn’t it. She ignored all the signs until he was on something much, much worse. Eventually, he had wanted a better high. By then, it was too late.”

Charlie tried to remember when she and Kyle were kids, but the memories were all blurry. She’d never cared that her brother was a stoner or that people associated her with him. She cared about him, and she cared about him still. Olivia pointed at the T.V.

“Looks like they’re talking about your team,” she said.

Charlie looked over at the sidebar. Watt Absent? it read.

“J.J.! Come in here a second!” she called out.

J.J., followed closely by Wendy and a couple more relatives, entered the room. She turned up the volume, and they listened.

“An inside source told us today that Watt has not been in Houston since the game on Sunday, where he recorded a sack and a fumble recovery for a touchdown,” said the reporter. “He left after the game and has since not spoken to any of his teammates. The news comes just weeks after the announcement of his girlfriend’s college lover, Ryan Fitzpatrick, joining the Texans.”

“Jesus Christ,” Charlie said under her breath. She rolled her eyes.

All eyes were on her now.

“You didn’t tell us Ryan was back,” said Wendy.

“Because it’s not important,” said Charlie. “He and J.J. are teammates now, and that’s it.”

“Coach O’Brien took to the podium today to address the media and had this to say,” the reporter on the T.V. continued.

“J.J.’s dealing with a personal matter right now,” Coach said. “It’s not my place to say what it is. Myself, the coaching staff, and all of the team have been asked to keep any information we know to ourselves. He and Miss Elliott have asked for their privacy at this time. He’s keeping in contact with us, but right now, we’re just trying to prepare for the Pittsburgh.”

“We will keep you updated with any new information we have as we receive it,” said the reporter. “Bill, back to you.”

Charlie turned to J.J. His arms were crossed over his chest. Charlie stood up.

“I’m calling Coach,” she said.

“Charlie, you don’t have to do that,” said J.J.

“We’re leaving after dinner tonight,” said Charlie. “I want him to know you’ll be there tomorrow.”

“Charlie, it’s”-

She was already dialing on her phone. He turned to Wendy.

“How long has Ryan been with your team?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” said J.J. “June or July, I can’t remember.”

“Has he tried to interfere with you two?” Wendy said.

“No, I”-

“He broke her heart, you know,” said Wendy, cutting him off. “She almost dropped out of college, she was so devastated. I’ll bet you anything he just casually went on with his life. Did he even remember her?”

“Mrs. Elliott, Ryan and I have become very close over the last few months,” said J.J. “Despite what happened in the past, he and Charlie are getting along great.”

“And you’re okay with them?” asked Olivia.

“I’m not really sure what there is to not be okay with,” said J.J. “We’re all adults.”

He left the room to go find Charlie. She was sitting in the dining room, her phone to her ear, and he sat down next to her.

“Yes, thanks,” she said. “I appreciate it, Coach.”

J.J. waited as she hung up the phone. She looked up.

“I’m not going to feed into this,” he said. “I don’t care what your family thinks, okay? Ryan’s my friend now. This is our business, not theirs.”

Charlie nodded and said, “We’re getting a flight back this evening. I don’t want to spend another minute here.”

J.J. scanned her face for any reasons other than getting him to practice. She was expressionless, though, and he took her hand. She jumped at his touch, but he held her anyway.

“Will you talk to me about this?” he asked. “You’ve barely said anything to me the whole time we’ve been here.”

“I’m going through a lot right now, Justin,” said Charlie.

“I understand that, babe, and I’m trying to help you,” J.J. replied.

“Then help me by trying to make me feel better,” she said. “Don’t tell me how to feel, and don’t tell me what to think. Just be here for me, okay? Please.”

J.J. nodded and looked down at his hand holding hers. He gave it a light squeeze, and she returned the gesture.