Explosions

Ryan’s birthday was brief. He never liked big celebrations, but the entire team got together for pizza after their practice that day. They’d won with Mal at the helm the first week back from their bye. Ryan’s 32nd birthday was spent as a backup as they prepared to take on the Cincinnati Bengals.

The loss to Cincinnati was heartbreaking for Ryan to watch. Mal threw interception after interception, and all he could do was sit there. J.J. sat next to him on the plane home. The flight was almost completely silent, with the exception of some snoring and some small chatter scattered throughout. J.J. leaned over with his phone, and he and Ryan scowled at the camera.

“You decided if you’re coming to our party or not?” asked J.J., sending the photo to Charlie.

“I think I will,” Ryan said. “I’m going to fly solo, though. Hope that’s okay.”

“No one’s going to judge you,” said J.J. “You’re not the only one. Whit and Blue aren’t going to have anyone either.”

“Where’s it going to be? Your house?” asked Ryan.

“Nah, we’re getting this big ballroom downtown,” replied J.J. “Charlie’s so excited, dude. She’s wanted to throw a party like this all year. She’ll be so glad you’re coming.”

Ryan smiled. He glanced down at his shoes and then back up at J.J.

“Can I speak candidly?” he asked.

“Only if you don’t come at me like a damn Harvard graduate,” laughed J.J.

“Okay, I’ll try not to,” chuckled Ryan. “I’m really glad that you two are together. For a long time after she and I broke up, I thought I had ruined her life. I didn’t want her to be with me or anyone like me. Hell, I didn’t want her to be with anyone. When I came here, the first time I saw her look at you, I was glad that she was with you. She’d never looked at me like that.”

J.J. shifted in his seat so he was facing Ryan.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Have you heard the Greek myth about Paris and Helen?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Paris was this prince who the three main Greek goddesses – Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite – chose to pick which of the three of them was the most beautiful,” explained Ryan. “Paris chose Aphrodite, as she’d promised him the most beautiful woman in the world if he’d chosen her. Helen of Sparta was the most beautiful woman, and they fell madly in love. Aphrodite created this indescribable bond between the two of them, and everyone wanted the love they had. At the time, though, she was married to King Menelaus. Paris took Helen back to Troy with him anyway.”

“Isn’t this a movie?” asked J.J.

Ryan laughed and said, “Yes, it’s the plot of the movie Troy, which is based around the Greek myth of Paris and Helen.”

“Didn’t that start a war?”

“Yeah, basically King Menelaus came in and fucked up Troy because this dude stole his wife. He stabbed Paris, essentially mortally wounding him, and took Helen back to Sparta with him.”

“How beautiful do you have to be to start a war?” laughed J.J. “Like really, who goes into another country and blows shit up because you jacked his woman?”

Ryan shrugged. “Some people go crazy when they’re in love.”

They were both silent a moment. J.J. stretched out his legs as best he could and turned back to Ryan.

“You know a lot of shit, Fitz,” he said.

“Most of it’s useless information that I just like to whip out sometimes,” said Ryan. “I took a class on Greek mythology just so I could make analogies sometimes. I’m kind of a nerd like that.”

“No, but it’s cool,” replied J.J. “I wish I knew stuff like that.”

“Why?”

“Sometimes…nah, you’ll just laugh at me.”

“Come on, you can tell me. I probably will laugh at you, but who gives a fuck? I’ll still listen.”

“Okay, sometimes I don’t think I’m smart enough for Charlie.”

Ryan furrowed his eyebrows and held up his hand. He shook his head and said, “What are you talking about, dude?”

“I feel like…” J.J. chewed on the inside of his cheek and sighed. “I feel like she had you, this crazy smart guy who knows a lot of shit, and now she has me, this guy who just…plays football.”

“Charlie is an absolute anomaly. She does not fit a type, J.J. She has always done what her heart tells her is right. That’s why she was only with that Vince guy for like six or seven months. She knew he wasn’t right for her. She loves you for who you are. You don’t just play football. You devote your free time to making people’s lives better. It’s one of the things she loves most about you. The way she looks at you… Man, that is the kind of love that starts wars.”

“You mean that?” asked J.J.

“Absolutely,” said Ryan. “She deserves nothing but the best, and that is exactly what she has.”

---

Ryan opened the door of he and Liza’s apartment with a heavy heart. She was there, sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. He looked at her, sitting there watching reruns of Seinfeld, and he shut the door. She glanced over and smiled.

“Hi, honey,” she said. “How was work today?”

Ryan shrugged his bag off his shoulders and sat down in the armchair across from the couch. He rubbed his face for a second or two, and he looked back up at her. She set her cup of coffee down.

“Ryan, are you okay?” she asked.

“Um, yeah, listen…” said Ryan. He took a deep breath and said, “Okay, uh, I’m being traded.”

“What?” said Liza. “To where?”

“Nashville, Tennessee,” he replied. “I’m going to the Titans.”

“The Titans?” echoed Liza. “Well, when are you leaving?”

“They want me to start practicing before training camp, so I’m leaving in two weeks,” Ryan said.

“Two weeks?”

“Can you please stop repeating everything I say? I’ve been on the Bills for four years now. Does it hurt? Yes. Did I see it coming? Yeah, actually I did.”

“Nashville,” said Liza. “I can’t move to Nashville. I love it here.”

“I’m not asking you to move with me,” Ryan said.

Liza sat back and said, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“That’s not what I said. We can have a long distance relationship if you’re willing to work with that.”

“Ryan, this is a lot to process right now.”

Ryan nodded and stood up. He moved into the kitchen and put his hands on the counter. He looked around at the cupboards, the cabinets, the sink – all of it so familiar and yet so far away from his mind. Liza turned around to face him.

“Do you think it could work?” she asked. “A long distance relationship? I mean, Buffalo and Nashville are pretty far away from each other.”

“Well, I would be willing to work on it,” said Ryan. “The trouble I have with it is that I won’t be able to see you all the time. And I need you to understand that. I can’t have you get mad at me for not being able to talk or call or fly here all the time.”

Liza nodded. She stood up and joined him in the kitchen. She put his arms around his torso and rested her cheek against his back. He shook his head.

“Why did you move to Buffalo with me?” he asked.

Liza looked up and said, “Because I liked you and saw us actually being together this time. And I was right. We fell in love, Ryan. I wanted to do anything for you.”

“What changed?”

She let go of him. He closed his eyes for a second before turning around to look at her. They were both silent. He could feel his heart beating slowly in his chest. She opened her mouth to say something, but she closed it again and shook her head.

“You were in love with me and were willing to move to Buffalo with me after only a couple of months,” Ryan said. “Now, after almost two years, you won’t move to Nashville with me. Why? What changed?”

Again, Liza said nothing.

“I’m not angry with you, Liza,” said Ryan. “I just want to know why.”

“I don’t know,” Liza said, her voice barely audible.

“You don’t know or you won’t tell me?”

Liza shook her head. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she finally said, “I’m not sure we’re the same people we were a year and a half ago, Ryan.”

“I know I’m not,” said Ryan. “My feelings for you haven’t changed though. Again, I’m not angry with you, Liza. If you’re not in love with me anymore, say your peace so I can move to Nashville knowing I’m not regretting it.”

Liza closed her eyes. He watched a tear fall from each eye. She put her face in her hands and began to cry. Ryan stepped forward and put his arms around her. He put one hand on the back of her head and kissed her forehead.

“Liza, I love you,” he said. “I can’t let you live like this – pretending to enjoy the relationship you’re in with me. Say the word, and I’m gone tonight.”

“I’m so sorry, Ryan,” she said. “I loved you so much. I don’t know when it changed. I don’t know when”-

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he said, cutting her off.

She took a deep, shaky breath, and she said, “I can’t move to Nashville with you. I don’t love you anymore, Ryan Fitzpatrick, but I wish you the best.”

He touched her chin and made her look at him. He smiled, though she saw his heart breaking in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

---

Charlie was waiting patiently in the lobby of the Houston airport. The team greeted her as they walked by her, some stopping to give her a hug. She saw J.J. and Ryan coming toward her, and she waved. J.J. waved back, his face breaking into a big smile. Ryan nodded to her once and yawned.

J.J. swept her off her feet in a hug, and he kissed her cheek. She kissed him back as he set her back down.

“I’ll see you Tuesday, man,” said Ryan, gently punching J.J.’s shoulder as he walked by. “Gotta wait for a taxi now.”

“Wait, Ryan,” said Charlie. She grabbed his hand to stop him and said, “J.J. and I can take you home.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience you guys,” he said, shaking his hand from hers.

“Fitz, shut up and follow us to the car,” laughed J.J. “Don’t waste your money.”

Ryan looked between them, and he nodded. “Okay,” he said.

Charlie grinned and led the way. J.J. playfully pinched her butt, and she swatted him away. Ryan watched the two of them, walking a step or two behind them. He pulled his bag up on his shoulder a little higher. He climbed into the backseat of Charlie’s car and relaxed into the leather seat.

“Fitz is thinking about shaving his beard off,” said J.J., buckling his seatbelt.

“What?!” said Charlie sternly. She groaned, “Not the beard. Ryan, don’t shave your beard.”

“I have to,” sighed Ryan. “It’s throwing off the mojo. It doesn’t take that long to grow back anyway.”

“Ryan, I love your beard, though,” said Charlie, pouting.

Ryan smiled and said, “It’s just something I need to do. Trust me.”

Charlie turned to face him. She stared at him for a long second, making him slightly uncomfortable. She sighed and reached back. Her fingers touched his beard, and he looked at J.J. He laughed as Ryan’s eyes widened.

“Good-bye, beard,” Charlie said.

Ryan sat there in silence, waiting for her to be done. She shook her head and turned back to the front seat.

“It’s a goddamned shame,” she said.

As the car carried on along the highway, Ryan sat in the back seat, unmoving. His breathing was uneven and shaky, trying to calm the pulse in his heart and ears. J.J. and Charlie chatted about the game, a conversation he normally would have joined in on, but he couldn’t. He just sat there silently.

When he got home, he got on his phone and dialed Mal’s number. It took a few rings, but he finally answered.

“Fitz?” said Mal, his voice raspy and tired.

“Hey, man,” said Ryan. “I know it’s late, but I gotta talk to someone, dude.”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Mal asked.

“I know you’ve got your injury that you gotta have looked at tomorrow, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said a couple weeks ago,” said Ryan. “About going to the club.”

“Oh, yeah, dude!” said Mal. “What about this Wednesday? Day before Thanksgiving? A lot of girls go out the night before since they have to see their families the next day.”

“Wednesday,” said Ryan. “Wednesday sounds good.”

“You won’t regret this, dude,” chuckled Mal. “I’m gonna hook you up.”

Ryan nodded and said, “Yeah. That’s the plan.”