Explosions

Charlie wandered aimlessly around her hotel room. Some of the people from the conference had already gone back to their home states, and she was left with only a select few to hang out with. She could go see a Broadway show. She could do some shopping. She shook her head and grabbed her purse. She needed some air.

When she made it down to the sidewalk, she sat down on a bench. She watched all the people bustling around her. She heard so many different languages and saw so many different people. She never saw the same person twice, not even when she was trying to. How was it she happened to run into Ryan in such a huge city, not once but twice? It couldn’t have been an accident.

She looked down at her phone, and she stared at the screen for a few seconds. She was already going to be in deep shit with J.J. if he ever found out about last night. She tried pushing that thought to the back of her mind as she dialed the familiar number. The line rang a few times before he picked up.

“Charlie?” he said.

“Ryan, hey,” Charlie said. “Are you still in Manhattan?”

“Well, I was getting ready to head out,” replied Ryan.

“Oh, well…” she trailed off for a moment.

“I have time for a drink,” Ryan suggested.

“Okay, sure,” said Charlie. “It’s just that most of the people from the conference are gone already, and there’s no one that I know in this city.”

“So I’m a last resort option, huh?” chortled Ryan. “You don’t need an excuse to have a drink with me, Char.”

“I know,” sighed Charlie. She looked up at the bar to her right. “Can you meet me at this – uh – Copacabana?”

“Sounds made up, but I’ll be there,” he said.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” she replied.

He showed up about twenty minutes later, and she smiled when she saw him. He waved to her and held the door to the bar open as she approached. She thanked him. After ordering drinks, they sat down in a secluded corner of the bar. He played with the edge of his beer, and she stirred her drink nervously. The music playing overhead was some swanky jazz that had Charlie’s fingers tapping against the table. Ryan watched her for a moment before putting his hand on hers to stop her. She looked up at him, and he smiled.

“Why did you really call me to come here?” he asked.

She shrugged and said, “Do you want me to be honest with you?”

He nodded.

“I miss you,” she replied. “I never realized it until we talked last night, but I miss you, Ryan. You always listened to me and offered up your honest opinion.”

“Charlie, I’m sure J.J. does all of that for you, too,” he said.

“To an extent,” she said. “I’m not saying I miss us. I miss you. You were one of my best friends for a few years. You always had something to say, and I loved that.”

Ryan shook his head, but he didn’t say anything. She stared at him anxiously. He just sat there for a moment. His eyes scanned the room around them. People were dancing and laughing and smiling. Here he was, trying to refrain from kissing the woman he loved again. She shifted so her body was facing him.

“I love J.J.,” she said. “Despite everything he and I are going through, I love him. But…Ryan, I think I still have feelings for you.”

“Stop,” he said.

“I won’t, okay?” she said. “If you get to tell me how you feel, then I get to tell you how I feel. I still have feelings for you, and I didn’t realize it until I saw you at the press conference. You told me you felt the same way, so why is this any different?”

“Because if you wanted me, you could have me,” replied Ryan. “But if I want you, I’ve got to wait for you to not be with J.J. anymore. It’s the most painful thing in my life that I have to sit with the fact that I let you go. I pushed you out until there was nothing left of us. That’s my fault, and I hate myself every day for it. I still love you. I will always love you. But to watch you go home with someone else every night is something I just have to live with, okay? I want you to be happy.”

“And what if I’m not happy with J.J. anymore?” she asked.

He sighed, “Then that’s something you need to work out with him.”

Charlie took a few deep breaths. She stirred her drink around a little more, watching the ice swing this way and that. She shook her head and chuckled.

“You’re right,” she said. “I’m sorry. Can we forget about this? Can we just start this night over?”

Ryan smiled and said, “I’d like that.”

A waitress came over and set two clear shots in front of them. Ryan looked nervously at Charlie, and she looked over at the waitress.

“Compliments of the couple at the end of the bar,” the waitress said.

Ryan and Charlie looked over. It was an older couple whose arms were linked. The woman waved at them, and Charlie returned the gesture. Ryan stopped the waitress.

“Their next round of drinks is on me,” he said. “Will you thank them for us?”

“Any time, sweetie,” the waitress said, and she turned to leave.

They each picked up their shot and held them up to each other.

“To New York City,” said Ryan.

“Down the hatch,” giggled Charlie.

She gagged against the shot as it went down her throat. It was tequila for sure, and it was strong. Ryan watched her and laughed.

“Don’t get drunk again,” he said.

“Oh, yeah,” she groaned. “Thank you for last night. I’m sorry.”

“It’s no trouble,” he replied. “Just don’t try to take advantage of me tonight.”

He winked at her, and Charlie punched his arm gently. He grinned. After awhile of them chatting about Ryan’s new teammates and everything new with the Texans, one drink turned into two, then three. She got him to stand up and dance with her. He put his hands on her waist, and they moved together to the upbeat saxophone and drums. They laughed and jumped around, and for a while, Charlie forgot where she was. It wasn’t until they noticed the bar had almost emptied that they realized what time it was.

Ryan and Charlie moved outside, laughing.

“That was a lot of fun,” she said. “I should get going though. I have to catch a flight tomorrow.”

“I’m driving,” Ryan replied. “Aw…shit.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Charlie.

“I’ll just have to sleep in my car,” he said. “I don’t want to chance driving three hours by myself when I’m this tired. This is embarrassing.”

He chuckled nervously and scratched his head.

“I do have that extra bed in my room,” said Charlie.

“No, I couldn’t,” said Ryan, putting up his hand.

“Nonsense,” she said.

“Charlie, wouldn’t that be weird?” he said. “It’s fine. I’ll just sleep in my car.”

She grabbed his elbow and pulled him behind her. He didn’t struggle, but he sighed loudly and shook his head.

“The quarterback for the New York Jets doesn’t deserve to sleep in his car,” she said.

“He kinda also doesn’t want to sleep in the same hotel room as his ex-girlfriend for the second night in a row,” Ryan protested.

She looped her arm through his and continued walking toward her hotel. He was surprised how persistent she was, but she didn’t say anything more to him until they were in the hotel room. He sat down on the bed opposite hers.

“Why are you doing this, Charlie?” asked Ryan.

“You don’t need to sleep in your car,” said Charlie.

“You just admitted to me that you still have feelings for me, and then you invite me back to your hotel room,” he said.

“I’d like to think you would just say ‘thank you’ and accept,” she replied.

“That’s what I would like to do,” he said. “Unfortunately, I can’t do that.”

She shrugged and turned off the light.

“You’re welcome,” she said.

He sat there in the dark for a long time. He wasn’t sure if she’d gone to sleep already, but he lay down and stared where she was lying. He could hear her breathing, and the sound of it kept him at bay. He inhaled and exhaled slowly before letting sleep take over his body.

---

Charlie moved to pick up her suitcase and wheeled it behind her as she walked toward the lounge area. She stopped, seeing J.J. sitting in a chair. His hat was pulled over his eyes, and the posture of his body told her that he was sleeping. In his arms, he held a little bear. He must have been on a break from training camp; he was still in his Under Armor and basketball shorts. She smiled and sat down next to him.

He jolted awake and said, “Hey, that seat’s saved.”

“For who, might I ask?” said Charlie.

J.J. turned to her, and he pushed his hat back up. A smile broke over his face. He put his arms around her, and she returned the gesture. He kissed her cheek.

“How was your trip?” he asked.

“It was good,” she said. “I brought you a shirt from the Statue of Liberty.”

“I hope you took pictures, too,” he replied.

“A ton,” Charlie confirmed, “just for you.”

They stood up, and J.J. took her suitcase. He led her out toward the car, asking her all sorts of questions about what New York was like at night and if she’d seen anyone famous and how the food was. She could barely keep up with all the questions he had. She watched the city of Houston flying by her as she answered his questions.

He chatted aimlessly about the HBO crew and all the rookies. Today was the first time he’d been away from training camp in almost a week. They were required to stay at the team hotel while they were there, but Coach O’Brien had agreed to let him pick Charlie up from the airport. He wouldn’t be able to stay long once they made it home, but he was grateful for this time with her.

Their first preseason game was a win, and J.J.’s attitude had changed drastically from last year. He was much more focused this time.

She looked over at him and smiled. He seemed like his old self again, and she began to wonder if everything she told Ryan was just an exaggeration of her imagination. She listened to him as he told her about all the new people he was meeting. She’d agreed to come down to training camp tomorrow, once she’d had some rest. She hadn’t seen anyone from the team in a while anyway. It might be good for her to get back into her normal routine.

J.J. helped her bring her stuff into the house, and she thanked him with a kiss. He put his hands on her hips.

“As soon as I get a chance,” he said, “I’m taking you out for dinner.”

“I would expect nothing less,” she chuckled.

“Stop by camp tomorrow, please,” he instructed. “We’re going to Virginia in a couple days to practice with the Redskins. It’s only for a couple days, but I just feel like I won’t get to see you much at all.”

“I’m used to it, Justin,” Charlie said. “I know the drill. I’ll be there tomorrow, and I’ll be there for your next preseason game, okay?”

“Okay,” he said. “I’ve gotta go now, but I love you.”

She pulled him close to her, and she buried her face in his chest.

“I love you, too,” she replied. “Call me tonight?”

“When I can,” he said.

He turned away, and Charlie watched him walk out the door. She sat down on the couch and looked around her. Nothing here was familiar to her anymore. She told herself it was all a figment of her imagination as she began unpacking.