Explosions
Cold to the touch, but she's warm as a devil.
After pre-season had ended, J.J.’s life had settled down considerably. The first day after the last game, he settled down on the couch and put his head in Charlie’s lap. She was watching Friends, one of her all-time favorite shows. She rested her hand on his cheek.
He turned and kissed her leg, and she looked down at him. She raked her fingers through his hair and smiled.
“Something up?” she said.
“Can I be honest with you?” he asked.
“Always,” she said.
He sat up and stared at her. She waited patiently, and he took his time. He glanced down at his hands then back up at her.
“I just feel really terrible because I haven’t been the best boyfriend in the last few months,” he said.
“J.J., you’ve been busy,” replied Charlie.
“I know, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t make time for you,” said J.J. “I’ve been so focused on football and the Foundation that I just haven’t had time to be with you. I love you, Charlie. You deserve better than what I’ve been giving you.”
Charlie crossed her legs and turned her body to face him. She put her hands on either side of his face and smiled.
“Justin James Watt,” she said.
“Uh oh,” chuckled J.J. “Middle name.”
“You’re allowed to pay attention to other things in your life,” she continued. “But if I’m being honest with you, I’ve felt pretty lonely since about May.”
“You shouldn’t feel like that,” he said. “Tell me how I need to fix it.”
“Just be here,” said Charlie. “Stop running off all the time. Stop buying houses in other states.”
“Are you still mad about that?”
“Yes. For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even tell me until you already did it.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I just thought it might be nice to have an escape from Houston.”
“And that’s fine, but you could have at least talked to me first. I would like to be included in these decisions, okay?”
J.J. nodded and said, “Okay. What else?”
“It’s okay to refuse pictures sometimes,” said Charlie. “I’m not saying you need to push all your fans away. But if we’re on our way to a movie and you get stopped, chances are we’re missing that movie.”
“That only happened twice,” he said.
“Five,” she said. “It’s happened five times now since March. I know you’re this absolute megastar. You have to know where your boundaries are, though. You’re losing me to please everyone else.”
“I’m losing you?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
Charlie nodded slowly.
“I will always love you, J.J.,” she said. “I know you feel the same about me. It’s just felt like you don’t care about me or us lately.”
“I’m sorry,” said J.J. “I’m sorry you’ve felt like that. I don’t know where I went wrong. I don’t know what happened. I just slipped up, and now we’re here.”
Charlie took his hands in hers. She moved her thumbs gently against his palms and studied his face. His eyes scanned the expanse of the living room, and he sighed.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you away,” he said.
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“After you told me about New Year’s and Ryan,” he said. “I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. Shit happens, and you were honest with me. I should have been grateful that you were honest with me about it. Looking back, I know you felt terrible about it. All I did was make you feel worse.”
“Well, thank you,” Charlie said. “Can we just go to dinner and be ourselves again? Let’s not talk about it. Let’s not think about anything but each other. I want to get back to how we were.”
J.J. smiled and said, “I’d do anything for you.”
Charlie took a drag off the joint between her fingers and passed it back to her sister. She dug her toes into the sand, and she felt the breeze coming in off the ocean. Olivia looked over at her and giggled.
“Mom would kill us,” she said.
“Mom’s not here,” said Charlie. “I’ve got two days left until I move to Cleveland. I want to spend it however the fuck I want.”
“That’s not very Harvard graduate of you,” Olivia said.
“Well, it isn’t very suburban white girl of you to be buying weed,” said Charlie.
“I think that it’s very suburban white girl of me,” giggled Olivia. “Why do you look so depressed all the time?”
“I’m almost 22 years old, Liv,” sighed Charlie. “I’m sitting on the beach in Rockport, smoking pot and drinking beer with my 17-year-old sister.”
“I make you depressed?”
“No, I’m just thinking out loud. I lost the only guy I ever gave a shit about, and even he’s moving away.”
“Are you still stuck on him?” Olivia asked.
She took a drag, coughed lightly, then passed the joint back to her sister. Charlie stared at it for a moment before inhaling it into her lungs. Olivia took a few swigs from the beer next to her.
“Do you think I’ll ever find someone else?” Charlie asked, the smoke trickling out of her mouth while she spoke.
Olivia snatched the weed out of her sister’s hand and said, “You’re 22. I think you’ll survive.”
“I loved him so much, Liv,” sighed Charlie. “I thought we’d be together forever.”
“Nothing is forever,” Olivia said.
“Did you think he’d ever leave me?”
“Honestly, no. You guys were so perfectly dorky and made for each other. It was weird, but you were so happy. I wanted you to be with him. I mean, now I don’t. No one breaks my sister’s heart and gets away with it.”
“How have you been?” asked Charlie.
Olivia grabbed a handful of sand and watched it fall between her fingers. She shrugged and drew shapes beside her, avoiding Charlie’s eyes. Charlie cleared her throat.
“Can I tell you something really private?” asked Olivia.
“I wish you would,” Charlie said.
“I think I’m a lesbian,” Olivia said.
“You think?” said Charlie.
“Well, I lost my v-card when I was 15, you know?” said Olivia. “I just didn’t really feel anything for any of the guys I’ve slept with.”
“Okay,” said Charlie, taking a drink from the beer between them.
“By the way, that guy Matt that I went out with for a couple months last year?” Olivia said. “Biggest dick I’ve ever seen in my life. That thing had to have been at least ten inches.”
Charlie spit out the beer and started laughing. Olivia joined her, and it took quite a few minutes for the two to settle down.
“Anyway, I was at a party a couple months back, and there was this girl named Isla,” Olivia began. “I don’t know where she was from, but I just felt so drawn to her. She was so sexy. We danced together. She put her hands all over me. It was the first time I felt sexually attracted to anyone. Charlie, the way she kissed me and everywhere she touched me…something in me was awakened, and I think that’s what it is.
“She went down on me, and I swear to god, the heavens opened up,” continued Olivia. “And since then, I’ve just been with girls. I actually like eating pussy, Charlie. That’s not something I ever thought I would say.”
Charlie put her arm around Olivia and kissed her cheek.
“Liv, I couldn’t give two shits if you like guys or girls,” said Charlie. “But I’m happy that you’re happy. That’s all that matters.”
Olivia began to laugh, her eyes welling up with tears, and she said, “I was so fucking nervous you would hate me.”
“Why would I hate you?” laughed Charlie. “The only thing I might hate you for is how shitty this weed is, Liv.”
Olivia snorted loudly and fell to her side. For a while, the two girls laughed. They choked on their beers and blew smoke in each other’s faces. Charlie was grateful she’d become closer with her sister in the last year, something she had regretted not doing for a long time. Charlie forgot about Ryan that night. Her sister had helped her push him away to the back of her mind as they walked back up the beach to get burgers.
They lost their first two games, including their home opener against the Kansas City Chiefs. J.J. was beat down, mentally and physically. Charlie tried to help him feel better, but she didn’t know what he needed. All she could do was be there for him after a disappointing start to their 2015 season.
He focused his efforts on getting better for their next game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He trained all week, stopping only to come home and spend his free time with Charlie. She kept telling him that he didn’t need to be the only one bearing this burden, as she always did when they lost, but he was determined to better himself.
Relief came for him when they beat the Bucs that next week. He had made some great plays, and he was feeling like himself again. Charlie could tell. He smiled more and held his shoulders a little higher. She poked fun at him, telling him not to let it go to his head, but she knew he never did.
In just a few short days, J.J. and the team would be traveling to Atlanta to take on the Falcons, who had been on a winning streak. He kept telling Charlie he could feel something big coming, that he could feel it in his bones and he wasn’t worried at all. She trusted him. When he had a gut feeling, nothing would change it. He would be more motivated than ever once they took to the field, and she would be in front of her T.V. like always.
He turned and kissed her leg, and she looked down at him. She raked her fingers through his hair and smiled.
“Something up?” she said.
“Can I be honest with you?” he asked.
“Always,” she said.
He sat up and stared at her. She waited patiently, and he took his time. He glanced down at his hands then back up at her.
“I just feel really terrible because I haven’t been the best boyfriend in the last few months,” he said.
“J.J., you’ve been busy,” replied Charlie.
“I know, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t make time for you,” said J.J. “I’ve been so focused on football and the Foundation that I just haven’t had time to be with you. I love you, Charlie. You deserve better than what I’ve been giving you.”
Charlie crossed her legs and turned her body to face him. She put her hands on either side of his face and smiled.
“Justin James Watt,” she said.
“Uh oh,” chuckled J.J. “Middle name.”
“You’re allowed to pay attention to other things in your life,” she continued. “But if I’m being honest with you, I’ve felt pretty lonely since about May.”
“You shouldn’t feel like that,” he said. “Tell me how I need to fix it.”
“Just be here,” said Charlie. “Stop running off all the time. Stop buying houses in other states.”
“Are you still mad about that?”
“Yes. For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even tell me until you already did it.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I just thought it might be nice to have an escape from Houston.”
“And that’s fine, but you could have at least talked to me first. I would like to be included in these decisions, okay?”
J.J. nodded and said, “Okay. What else?”
“It’s okay to refuse pictures sometimes,” said Charlie. “I’m not saying you need to push all your fans away. But if we’re on our way to a movie and you get stopped, chances are we’re missing that movie.”
“That only happened twice,” he said.
“Five,” she said. “It’s happened five times now since March. I know you’re this absolute megastar. You have to know where your boundaries are, though. You’re losing me to please everyone else.”
“I’m losing you?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
Charlie nodded slowly.
“I will always love you, J.J.,” she said. “I know you feel the same about me. It’s just felt like you don’t care about me or us lately.”
“I’m sorry,” said J.J. “I’m sorry you’ve felt like that. I don’t know where I went wrong. I don’t know what happened. I just slipped up, and now we’re here.”
Charlie took his hands in hers. She moved her thumbs gently against his palms and studied his face. His eyes scanned the expanse of the living room, and he sighed.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you away,” he said.
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“After you told me about New Year’s and Ryan,” he said. “I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. Shit happens, and you were honest with me. I should have been grateful that you were honest with me about it. Looking back, I know you felt terrible about it. All I did was make you feel worse.”
“Well, thank you,” Charlie said. “Can we just go to dinner and be ourselves again? Let’s not talk about it. Let’s not think about anything but each other. I want to get back to how we were.”
J.J. smiled and said, “I’d do anything for you.”
Charlie took a drag off the joint between her fingers and passed it back to her sister. She dug her toes into the sand, and she felt the breeze coming in off the ocean. Olivia looked over at her and giggled.
“Mom would kill us,” she said.
“Mom’s not here,” said Charlie. “I’ve got two days left until I move to Cleveland. I want to spend it however the fuck I want.”
“That’s not very Harvard graduate of you,” Olivia said.
“Well, it isn’t very suburban white girl of you to be buying weed,” said Charlie.
“I think that it’s very suburban white girl of me,” giggled Olivia. “Why do you look so depressed all the time?”
“I’m almost 22 years old, Liv,” sighed Charlie. “I’m sitting on the beach in Rockport, smoking pot and drinking beer with my 17-year-old sister.”
“I make you depressed?”
“No, I’m just thinking out loud. I lost the only guy I ever gave a shit about, and even he’s moving away.”
“Are you still stuck on him?” Olivia asked.
She took a drag, coughed lightly, then passed the joint back to her sister. Charlie stared at it for a moment before inhaling it into her lungs. Olivia took a few swigs from the beer next to her.
“Do you think I’ll ever find someone else?” Charlie asked, the smoke trickling out of her mouth while she spoke.
Olivia snatched the weed out of her sister’s hand and said, “You’re 22. I think you’ll survive.”
“I loved him so much, Liv,” sighed Charlie. “I thought we’d be together forever.”
“Nothing is forever,” Olivia said.
“Did you think he’d ever leave me?”
“Honestly, no. You guys were so perfectly dorky and made for each other. It was weird, but you were so happy. I wanted you to be with him. I mean, now I don’t. No one breaks my sister’s heart and gets away with it.”
“How have you been?” asked Charlie.
Olivia grabbed a handful of sand and watched it fall between her fingers. She shrugged and drew shapes beside her, avoiding Charlie’s eyes. Charlie cleared her throat.
“Can I tell you something really private?” asked Olivia.
“I wish you would,” Charlie said.
“I think I’m a lesbian,” Olivia said.
“You think?” said Charlie.
“Well, I lost my v-card when I was 15, you know?” said Olivia. “I just didn’t really feel anything for any of the guys I’ve slept with.”
“Okay,” said Charlie, taking a drink from the beer between them.
“By the way, that guy Matt that I went out with for a couple months last year?” Olivia said. “Biggest dick I’ve ever seen in my life. That thing had to have been at least ten inches.”
Charlie spit out the beer and started laughing. Olivia joined her, and it took quite a few minutes for the two to settle down.
“Anyway, I was at a party a couple months back, and there was this girl named Isla,” Olivia began. “I don’t know where she was from, but I just felt so drawn to her. She was so sexy. We danced together. She put her hands all over me. It was the first time I felt sexually attracted to anyone. Charlie, the way she kissed me and everywhere she touched me…something in me was awakened, and I think that’s what it is.
“She went down on me, and I swear to god, the heavens opened up,” continued Olivia. “And since then, I’ve just been with girls. I actually like eating pussy, Charlie. That’s not something I ever thought I would say.”
Charlie put her arm around Olivia and kissed her cheek.
“Liv, I couldn’t give two shits if you like guys or girls,” said Charlie. “But I’m happy that you’re happy. That’s all that matters.”
Olivia began to laugh, her eyes welling up with tears, and she said, “I was so fucking nervous you would hate me.”
“Why would I hate you?” laughed Charlie. “The only thing I might hate you for is how shitty this weed is, Liv.”
Olivia snorted loudly and fell to her side. For a while, the two girls laughed. They choked on their beers and blew smoke in each other’s faces. Charlie was grateful she’d become closer with her sister in the last year, something she had regretted not doing for a long time. Charlie forgot about Ryan that night. Her sister had helped her push him away to the back of her mind as they walked back up the beach to get burgers.
They lost their first two games, including their home opener against the Kansas City Chiefs. J.J. was beat down, mentally and physically. Charlie tried to help him feel better, but she didn’t know what he needed. All she could do was be there for him after a disappointing start to their 2015 season.
He focused his efforts on getting better for their next game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He trained all week, stopping only to come home and spend his free time with Charlie. She kept telling him that he didn’t need to be the only one bearing this burden, as she always did when they lost, but he was determined to better himself.
Relief came for him when they beat the Bucs that next week. He had made some great plays, and he was feeling like himself again. Charlie could tell. He smiled more and held his shoulders a little higher. She poked fun at him, telling him not to let it go to his head, but she knew he never did.
In just a few short days, J.J. and the team would be traveling to Atlanta to take on the Falcons, who had been on a winning streak. He kept telling Charlie he could feel something big coming, that he could feel it in his bones and he wasn’t worried at all. She trusted him. When he had a gut feeling, nothing would change it. He would be more motivated than ever once they took to the field, and she would be in front of her T.V. like always.
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit: Chains | Nick Jonas