Explosions

The next Monday, after the Texans had defeated the Jaguars in their home stadium, the rumors about her and Ryan had died down considerably. She was finally able to go back to the stadium without feeling like a prisoner.

The unfortunate situation was that she had taken a suitcase of clothes and moved into a hotel room. She came back to the house when she needed to do laundry, but only on Sunday when J.J. had been in Jacksonville. She hadn’t seen him in over a week.

She was sitting in her office, filling out some reports, when an unknown number rang on her phone. She looked quizzically at it as it rang again. She picked it up anyway.

“Texans Marketing, this is Charlotte,” said Charlie.

“Is this Charlotte Elliott?” asked the man’s voice on the other line.

“This is she,” said Charlie.

“Miss Elliott, this is Chuck Woodward,” said the man. “I’m the Director of Marketing with the Boston Celtics.”

Charlie almost fell out of her chair.

“Oh, hi,” she said.

“I met your mother just over a week ago,” said Chuck. “She spoke very highly of you, and I wanted to call to let you know that we have a position available as my Assistant Director of Marketing.”

“Oh, wow,” said Charlie, trying to keep calm. “That’s incredible. I’m definitely interested.”

“I thought you would be,” he replied. “We, of course, need to evaluate all candidates equally, so I will need your resume.”

He recited his email address, and Charlie wrote it down. He mentioned a couple other people interested in the job, but he seemed interested in her based on the things her mother had told him.

“Like I said, she speaks very highly of you,” said Chuck. “Once you send your resume in, I’ll take a look at it. I’ll be in touch with you after that, okay?”

“Yes, thank you so much,” said Charlie. “I will send it as soon as I am off work today.”

“I look forward to hearing from you, Miss Elliott,” he replied. “Have good day.”

He hung up, and Charlie’s heart skipped about three beats. She would need to tell her boss soon. She needed to at least warn him that she was interested in another job, and she needed to do it sooner rather than later. She looked at her clock and decided now was as good a time as any.

She stood up out of her chair and moved toward the door. She opened it and was surprised to see J.J. standing in the doorway, his hand raised as if he was about to knock. He was holding a paper bag and a cup. She took a step back.

“Hey,” he said. “Can we talk? I brought lunch.”

“Oh, uh…yeah,” Charlie said.

She moved aside, and he took a seat at her desk. She shut the door again and moved back to her chair. He handed her a sandwich and some napkins. She took them, but she didn’t eat right away. He didn’t touch his food right away either. He looked at her across the desk.

“I haven’t seen you in awhile,” she said. “Congrats on your second win.”

“Charlie, you don’t have to treat me like a stranger,” said J.J.

“It feels like you are,” replied Charlie.

He took a deep breath and said, “I know. I’ve been thinking a lot about us.”

“Okay,” said Charlie. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Do you see us being together anymore?” he asked.

She said, “I can’t answer that truthfully anymore because I don’t know. I know I love you. I also know that things just aren’t the same anymore.”

“Look, Charlie,” sighed J.J. “I really love you. I want to make this work.”

“I do, too,” she said.

“I don’t know if right now is really the time for us, though.”

She nodded silently.

“I’ve kind of been thinking and talking with some of the other guys,” he continued. “I think it might be in our best interest to take a break from our relationship. You know, formally. I was hoping for something else, but I think we need this right now. I know I do.”

Charlie nodded again, and she said, “If that’s what it’s going to take, then let’s do it. I’m already not sleeping there.”

J.J. tried to smile at her, and she touched his hand. She felt him tense up, and for a moment, she thought about pulling away. Instead, she looked into his eyes.

“I know it doesn’t make a difference anymore, but I’m sorry,” she said. “I never meant for this to happen.”

“No one means for this kind of shit to happen, Charlie,” said J.J. “It just does.”

“I think you’re right,” said Charlie, “about taking a break. I think it’s going to help if we’re going to make this work. We just need a little time away from each other. I need to figure out what I want.”

This time it was his turn to sit in silence. He studied her eyes, looking for any signs of telling, but she showed none. He turned his hand over and to hold hers.

“What were you leaving to do before I came in?” he asked.

“Oh, well, I actually was going to talk to George about this new opportunity that just came up,” said Charlie. “Actually…now would probably be a good time to tell you as well. I’m submitting my resume to the Boston Celtics for an Assistant Director of Marketing job.”

“Wow,” said J.J.

“I know I should have talked to you first, and I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just…”

She shrugged and waited for him to say something. Instead, he waited for her. She looked at him, and she pulled her hand away from him.

“Working for the Boston Celtics would be my dream come true,” she said. “Besides, there are other candidates for the position. I might not even get it. I just can’t wonder what would happen if I hadn’t turned it in.”

“I understand, Charlie,” said J.J. “I’m sure you’ll get it. Whether you take it or not, I want you to know that I’m behind you one hundred percent.”

Charlie smiled and said, “That means a lot, J.J. Thank you.”

“Look, just because we’ve hit some roadblocks, it doesn’t mean I want you to be miserable,” he said. “You’re an incredible person, and you deserve the opportunities that come your way.”

She glanced down at her sandwich, and J.J. chuckled.

“Turkey on rye, no mustard,” he said. “Like always.”

“And let me guess,” she said. “Yours is the three-meat supreme with extra bacon, no tomatoes, and no pickles.”

“Is it lame that we’re so predictable?” laughed J.J.

“No,” replied Charlie.

Her lunch with him was pleasant. He talked about them going to Miami this Sunday, and she told him that, as usual, she would be watching. He admitted that he missed her at home. She laughed it off by telling him about watching far too much Criminal Minds in the hotel room. After almost an hour of them talking and laughing, J.J. had to get back to practice. She hugged him.

“Thanks for lunch,” she said.

“Yeah, no problem,” J.J. replied. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

Charlie nodded and watched him leave. She took a few deep breaths, not knowing what to do. There had been no ‘I love you’ or ‘see you tonight’. The truth was sad, but she knew neither of those things could be said out loud. She waited until he was out of her sight before she left her office to finally go talk to her boss about the Celtics.

---

J.J. got home a little after nine that night. The lights were all off, and the light from outside was fading fast. He flicked on the light switch and sighed. He looked around the living room. Charlie’s stack of books on the coffee table was gone. Her blanket that was normally balled up in the corner of the couch was folded neatly on the armrest, and the pillows hadn’t been moved in a few days. The house was silent.

He carried himself through the living room and across the hall to the kitchen. The room was also dark, but he turned on the light. He looked over every surface and appliance in the room. He opened the refrigerator, taking a beer out of the door. He stopped, seeing the bottle of pinot grigio that had sat untouched for the last two weeks. He set the beer down on the counter and picked up the wine. He twisted the cap off and smelled it. He closed his eyes. The scent was so familiar to him, but never this strong. It had always been secondhand off Charlie’s breath as he’d kissed her.

J.J. quickly set the wine back down on the counter and picked up his beer. He took a long drink out of it, and when he set it back down, it was half gone. He stared at the bottle of wine, his heart beating faster. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He blinked a few times, grabbed the bottle, and threw it into the sink. He shouted angrily as it hit the chrome tub. The glass shattered, and the wine began to pour down the drain.

He watched it drain until it was empty, then he slumped down onto the floor of the kitchen. The tile was cold against his skin, but he didn’t care. He sat there for a while. He put his elbows on his knees and pressed the heels of his palms into his forehead.

It had been his idea to take a break from each other. It had been his doing that he pushed her out. It had been his fault that Charlie had run back into Ryan’s arms. He shook that thought from his mind and stood back up.

“No,” he said out loud.

It had been Ryan’s doing that this all had happened. If he had just kept his hands to himself, J.J. wouldn’t have pushed Charlie out like that. She couldn’t have just run into Ryan in Manhattan, of all places. Had Ryan planned it? Had they planned it together?

“No,” he grumbled.

He chugged the rest of his beer and threw that bottle into the sink, too. He watched the brown glass clash with the slightly off pink of the wine bottle, but he left the broken glass there. He left all the lights on as he marched upstairs to his empty bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity.