Diaries of the Man Upstairs

(June 9 again)

Dan

There's a pounding on the door, startling me. I spit out my tooth paste, brushing my hair real quick.

I take a deep breath, preparing myself.

I open the door to see exactly who I expected.

Phil.

I shut the door, storming to the bathroom. He comes right in.

"Don't do this to me again! I don't understand! WHAT DID I DO?!" He grabs my arm.

I write on the mirror.

"Hesitation," he reads out loud, thinking for a minute. I take that time to push past him, out the flat, down the stairs, and out the door.

There was a short man at the door standing next to an even shorter man. It must've been Phil's boss.

As I make it down the door way, I hear Phil yelling for me.

"GET BACK HERE HOWELL! I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT!"

I feel my arm get grabbed. I look back to Phil looking me straight in the eye.

"I love you, Phil," i nearly scream.

"You can't argue. There's nothing for you to write on. You won't write on me."

I lose it. I just go out and lose it.

"HESITATION, PHIL! YOU HESITATE EVERY SINGLE TIME! Yo-you don't even say it first anymore! You don't say it after I fall asleep! You used to be so in love with me! Now I just feel rejected..." I shuffle my feet, nervously. "J-j-just let me g-g-go Phil," I whisper. I turn, walking off.

"You know I can't let you go," Phil states. I turn back around and nod.

I turn back around and keep walking.

"Dan stop..." His voice... he's... crying...

I stop. Knowing better than to look at him.

"You know... that's... thats the first real thing you've said... all month... other than Phil, I love you... and it hurt... it really did... let me tell you something Daniel James. I love you. I- love doesn't even describe it! I hate you because I love you so much! You locked yourself up and dragged me through broken glass shards and needles! That's what this past month has felt like! 'Why do you hesitate, Phil?' I hesitate because of you! God knows what I'll do to set you off! I'm giving you space! Cant you see that?"

I turn around, finding him right there in my face.

"I... I don't want space," I whisper, blushing.

"You need emotional space. Otherwise you'd be talking." He grabs my hand.

"I... need you," I mumble. I pull him by the waist against my chest.

"I needed you but you locked yourself up," he whispers.

"I'm not doing that again." I kiss his head, wrapping my arms around him.

"You just did..." that's true...

"Go inside. You just yelled at me in front of your boss." I start to rock him.

"Everyone gets mad... right," he asks. I smile, kissing his head.

"You're literally an angle who's wings were damaged in some war and now you've fallen to the ground, into my arms."

He looks up at me, kissing me like the gentle butterfly he is. He pulls away, staring me straight in the eye.

"Let's go back in," he suggests, pulling me by the hand back home.

"PEEJ GET THE HAT," Phil screams as he locks the door.

I giggle, grabbing Phil.

"You know I was depressed before you, right," I whisper in his ear. I see him go pink before he pulls me in the lounge.

"I see you've met Tyler," Phil states, smiling.

"Yeah! You have such great friends- oh! And this is troye! I hope you don't mind..."

The scrawny kid from the pet shop smiles at me. I wave.

"This is the hubby, Dan. He's kinda off today so be careful."

"Awe! Phil, what'd you do?!" Chris whines for a couple of minutes and then runs and hugs me. I can't help but giggle and hug him back.

"It was only a misunderstanding! Everything is okay! Right, Dan?"

I shake my head, sticking out my tongue.

Phil hugs me too and the others just awkwardly stare at us.

"Okay, I'm getting the hat now," pj declares.

Chris jumps off of me to follow pj around while Phil just holds on as tight as he can.

"So Dan, what do you do for a living," Tyler asks. I hide my head in his neck.

"He's in between jobs at the moment... or in other words he just got fired for having a mental breakdown and not showing up for the past... I don't know..." Phil kisses my head, pulling me closer.

"Oh," Tyler asks. I make a wailing noise for no real reason but oh well.

"He uh... he doesn't talk for the most part... he says a little bit here and there... but that's why he can't work... but we're getting there! Right?" Phil tugs on my shirt. I nod. "How about troye?"

"He talks... I think," Tyler says with a giggle.

"I work at a pet shop...," troye answers, quietly.

I smile at him and nod.

"Dan came in not too long ago. I wanna see your puppy!"

I perk up, letting go of Phil and leading Troye upstairs.

I stop him right before, putting up a finger to warn him. I pull him in as fast as I can. They didn't seem to notice. They were asleep on the couch. I roll my eyes.

"Um... so... what happened of you don't mind," Troye asks.

I shrug, sitting by blue and picking her up.

"That's alright, I get it... but you really should tell Phil... I can tell you haven't. You talk to him. I saw you..." he sits on the floor by willow, checking her tag and smiling.

I get up, grabbing a pen and paper, writing 'Phil is my lover' on it.

"I know that but... sometimes you can't help it..."

I scribble out the first thing, scribbling 'maybe sometime but not now'

"Be careful," troye says. I nod.

I hear Phil call me. I get up, grabbing troye by the hand and pulling him downstairs with me.

"Pull a name for drinks," Chris demands as I walk in. I clap and pull a name from the hat, holding up the note that says pj. I grin really big.

I write 'pj always spikes Phil's drink to make him a bit more competitive' and hand it to Troye, who I'm not even positive can drink.

Troye chuckles.

"Troye! Draw who gets to pick video games!" Pj holds out the hat. Troye draws.

"Troye," he yells with a smile.

"Chris is on snacks, already got them," Phil smiles.

"Tyler has table games and Dan's got movies. I have clean up. We have six People and 4 player games. I'm okay with sitting out but..."

I gasp, holding my hand up. Phil laughs.

"That's my boy," phil giggles and grabs me by the waist, kissing my ear.

"Your plans are so gross," pj mumbles.

"I think it's cute," Chris laughs. Phil kisses my head.

"Do you have Mario party 8," Troye asks. I nod, grabbing the game and handing it to him.

"Off to get drinks. Who wants what?"

"Dan wants... co-" I shake my head. "Te-" I shake my head again. "Doctor pepper?" I nod. "Or beer," Phil finishes. I grin. "I'm in the mood for tea with a little extra... uh... sugar..."

"You know," pj exclaims. Phil nods.

"Coffee would be great," Tyler states.

"I'll take what ty takes."

"Okay. Chris, come." Pj grabs Chris' hand and they leave.

"Daniel, movie," Phil yells. I nod, running upstairs and grabbing kill bill.

I trip on my way down, falling to the floor.

Phil peeks out, laughing.

This reminds me of the time I ran down here naked, thinking someone were murdered.

"Are you alright," Phil asks.

I giggle. He pulls me up an to the others.

"Just a trip down the stairs. Nothing big. Probably bruised though... let me check you, can I?"

I shake my head, writing 'later' on Phil's chest. He nods

"Okay but if you're in need of an ambulance, I can't tell," Phil whispers. I kiss him, taking a seat on the love chair and pulling him with me. Phil pulls away, crawling on top of me and hitting me with a pillow.

I squeal, hitting him back.

"MAY THE GAMES BEGIN," pj yells as he enters the room with our drinks.

The night was much shorter than I expected.

And when game night was over, Phil joined me in a hot bubble bath... which he fell asleep in. I had to take him out and carry him to bed, not bothering with pajamas.

I drain the bath and join him in bed.

"I-I love you... Phil," I whisper before crashing beside him.

I met great people and I think all together it was perfect in a way.