Diaries of the Man Upstairs

June 11th

Aka my birthday.

Phil, this is Dan.

You've always said you and pj hate birthdays.

I get it now.

You've passed out on the hallway floor while I was out shopping for you.

I found out, Tyler called and asked why you never showed.

I dropped everything and ran home.

I know it's quite often you can pass out... but I called an ambulance.

At this point, I couldn't tell how long it's been and I was too panicked to find out.

You're having gallbladder problems.

At this moment, you're having open heart surgery.

We don't know your chances of surviving.

Pj is writing all of this, I'm too shaken up to write.

Along with the tears flooding me.

I talked to a doctor today... he screamed at me until I did. I'm talking to pj right now, telling him to write this.

Pj says that I can talk only because it's linked emotionally to you. He seems to think that if anything has to do with you, I'll be able to talk.

Maybe he's right.

I miss you, Phil.

Please make it through this.

I can't live without you.

I need you.

1:19 pm

Dan

"Dan, go grab a bite, I'll call you if anything happens. You must be starving."

I shake my head. "If I eat," I barely whisper. "I'll puke." I feel Troye's hand slip in mine.

"He's strong," Troye attempts to calm me.

"We've been here for hours! He's not okay!" I jump up as the doctor comes in.

"Phil Lester, family only," a doctor says. I grab Pj's hand, pulling him to the nurse.

"Lester-Howell... sir," I whisper. He looks at me.

"Who might you be," he asks. I smirk.

"Dan Lester-Howell. His husband. Pleased to meet you. Can I see him? Wait... rephrase that. Let me see him."

"Excuse me," he says. Pj stands in front of me.

"Just ignore him. Is Phil alright?"

"Right this way,"the nurse grumbles, showing us where to go.

As soon as we walk in, I see Phil's limp body, pale and lifeless.

"Baby," I yell, running over to him and swing my arms around him.

"Danny," he whispers, kissing my ear.

"I love you so much oh my gosh!" I kiss his head, sitting beside him on the bed.

"Your uh... your husband seems to have already made new enemies here. Hate for that nurse to be the one to ever assist Dan's needs... or mine..." pj pats my back and takes the chair behind us.

"What'd you say," Phil asks, poking me in the ribs.

"Yeah, Dan Lester-Howell," pj smirks. I blush.

"I simply corrected him. He called you Phil Lester..."

"Daniel James... you never fail to amaze me," Phil smiles. He scoots over for me to lay with him, which I do.

I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I just wanted him to know that you're mine..." I nuzzle my head in his neck.

"You're so cute, awe! And you guys got him to talk!"

"It's all linked to his pain, we've decided. He needs to stop thinking first and it had to do with you being in danger..." pj flicks me, making me groan.

"I love you," I hear Phil whisper. I grin, really big.

"I love you too," I giggle. "Pj brought your clothes!"

"Oh good." Phil sounds so tired and worn down. You can hear him wheeze when he breathes. He can't be okay... that breaks me.

"Im getting Dan food, he hasn't eaten yet and you look like you need alone time," pj mumbles, stumbling up and leaving.

"Baby must be starving," Phil giggles. "I'm so sorry... how about birthday celebration right after I'm out to fix it?"

"I don't care about stupid birthdays. I want my baby." I let myself under the blankets and cuddle against Phil.

"Since he's gone, can I start crying again," I ask. Phil sighs really loud and wraps his arms around me.

"Go on," Phil answers.

I slowly start to fall apart again, in his arms.

"I was so worried," I sob, shakily. "I thought you were dead! DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

"I'll try not to, baby! I'm okay! I promise! Just a little surgery. A little scar is the most damage done." Phil plays with my hair and kisses my temple.

"You have no gallbladder," I mumble. Phil giggles.

"No one in my family does anymore... except pj," Phil whispers. I sniffle. Phil wipes away my tears, pulling me closer.

"I don't want you to leave me," I whisper.

"I'm not!" He pushes my hair out of my face.

I hear the door shut, smelling Tyler's strong cologne.

"Ty," Phil calls. I giggle.

"I see Dan's made himself at home," Tyler practically sings. "Pj gave us this and took a call!"

I get handed Chinese take out, which I gracefully take.

"He's a saint," I yell, taking a bite.

"I want food...," Phil whispers.

"I'll go ask a nurse," Troye jumps up and runs out of the room.

Tyler, staring at his butt the whole time, looking bright pink when he looks back.

"Oh my gosh," I mutter. "You like him!" I fling food at him. He snorts really loud and giggles.

"No! No! No... no!" He sniggers.

"You like troooye!!!"

"I do, okay," he yells, blushing. "I can't date him. He's too young... mom won't let me..."

"Nonsense," Phil exclaims. "Dan's 4 years younger than me!"

"Troye is 6. He's out of legal age. He's 15."

"15," I nearly scream. Tyler nods. "You're 21?!"

"Yeah... and you're 18. Point is?"

"HOW IS TROYE 15?!"

"He just turned 15," Tyler mumbles.

"I am 19 today. Go away. This is my husband." I get up, running out to get Troye, who by the way is getting food for Phil.

"Dude, tell me Tyler was kidding! How old are you?!"

"15... why," he asks.

"You're baby! I'm 19!" I take the tray from him, paying for the food. He looks up at me, confused.

"You got married at 18...," he asks. I nod.

"My mother tells me that you know the one when you finally accept yourself enough to invite another in. I when we got drunk together for the first time, that's the day I realized he's the one. And he kept screaming at me until we... tied the knot... and he still does sometimes... i don't mean that literally. You'll get it when you're there."

I hadn't even known I had that in me... here I am feeding a kid love stories without even thinking about what I'm saying.

"You... mean that," he asks.

I smile at him.

"That man in there with the ridiculous, fluffy hair, and the funny lion toy, that's the man I'd kill myself for. Id do anything he says."

I just see the kid smile at me. He hugs me, tightly.

"Thank you," he mumbles.

"Tell me, why are you here with Tyler," I ask, recently learning that they live together.

"I... came out to my mom... she was tempted that she couldn't raise me in the right community. She thought that if I stayed there, I'll get depressed due to homophobia that's bad there. So she found someone she really trusted, ty, and sent me away to him. That was actually the week after he got promoted and sent here..." he opens Phil's door for me and let's me in.

"Troye got you food," I announce, handing it to him. "Tyler is right... He's little tiny but awww!" I jump back in with Phil which he giggles and pulls me closer.

"Happy birthday baby... you look tired. Go to sleep." Phil kisses my hand.

I quickly protest but lose.

He hums until I fall asleep. I'm okay with that.