Diaries of the Man Upstairs

PHIL

Feb. 2

Months.
It's been months.
Simple hi in the hallways.
How are ya's.

He got a girlfriend last month.
She's a bit... interesting.
Well... she's rude
Really rude...

He stopped by today.
Asked for a bow tie.
Fancy date.

I can't sleep at nights anymore.
I can hear them.

Mum got better, by the way.

She sent me a stuffed lion.

It's time to sleep now.

I don't feel great.

3:12am

I shoot up, gasping, hard for breath.

Anxiety attack.

Bad one.

I grab the pocket watch, fumbling with it till I calm myself.

I get up, going to get a cup of tea.

Making it felt like it took years but it finished eventually.

Unfortunately, just as I finish it, there's a knock on the door.

Who the heck would be here at 3 in the morning?!

I grab a knife, taking it to the door with me, opening it.

"Hello...," Dan says in a low, raspy voice.

I put down the knife.

"How can I help you," I ask.

He shrugs.

"Can't sleep. I was wondering... if you would mind being roomies... just for the night...?"

"C-come in... ill make more tea..." I pull him in, locking the door behind.

We head to the kitchen and I put the kettle back on the stove.

"So the Brewer I got you is useless," he asks with a laugh.

I push my untouched coffee toward him.

"The kettle is part of it... waiting leads to boredom. Boredom leads to tiring. And that leads to sleep. Have mine."

He takes it.

"We uh... we made out... that one night... Christmas Eve..."

Dan freezes up.

"We don't speak of it." He sips his tea.

I tense up and start to have another anxiety attack.

Dan kind of panics, unsure of what to do.

I slip to the ground, panting for breaths.

The kettle is going off but I'm too busy shaking and rocking to get it.

I look up at Dan, slowly starting to calm a little bit.

"S-S-sorry," I whisper.

I pull myself up, pouring the tea.

"What was that...," he asks.

I shake my head.

"Anxiety at night. Nothing new. It happens, sorry..."

I make the cup of tea and go to my room.

I was expecting him to just sleep on the couch but nope. He comes in my room, taking off his shirt and throwing it on the floor.

He sets his much down and climbs in next to me.

"Why are you up so late," he asks. I shrug.

"Bad dream. You?" I take off my glasses.

"Homesick," he mumbles, playing with his mug.

I drink the rest of my tea, setting the empty mug on the bedside table.

I turn my back to Dan, cuddling into the blankets.

After a couple minutes, I feel a pair of arms pull me into a warm body.

Dan nuzzles his head into my neck and reaches his hand to turn off the lamp.

"Why are you avoiding me," I ask.

"Me?"

"Who else?"

"I uh... avoid you," he asks. I nod. "I have a girlfriend, Phil. I'm straight."

"I... I know that... I wasn't asking you-"

"I'm straight. End of conversation!"

Nice choice of subject to yell about as you're cuddling a man, Dan.

I mutter a small "geez fine! Just wanted to know her name..." I pull the covers up closer to my neck.

"Marcy," he mutters. "Her name is Marcy. She's American and she likes snakes."

Ugh! Snakes! Hunter of the hamster family. Killer and vicious.

"Night," Dan says, before I crash into a deep sleep.

---

8:30am

I wake up.
Dress myself.
Go for a jog.
Shower.
Brush my teeth.
Dress myself, again.
Straighten my hair.
Eat a nice brunch.

By that time, Dan was still asleep and I have classes.

So I left him.

It was only a couple classes. I started having more anxiety so I decided to go home.

When I got there, Dan was missing... but I found him real soon.

He and Marcy were screaming at each other... again.

From what I could make out- make out? No no don't use those words together! Not about Dan!

Back to before... what i could tell, they're yelling about him sleeping with me.

Sleeping with me... not like that!

"MARCY IT WAS HOMESICK!"

I let out a loud groan, making some coffee and going to study but failing due to more screaming... I'll admit some of it was mine. I couldn't help it! I'm frustrated!

My attention span to focus on school was about the size of a speck of dust.

I take any opportunity to get out of it. Meaning when the phone rang, I answered. I wish I didn't.

"Hello...," I ask. ID said dad...

"Hey, Phil... you're not in class, are you?"

I look around, nervously.

"N-no... ditched... why?"

"Phil!"

"Sorry! Anxiety attack... can I help?"

"Look, we need to talk, Phil. Are you okay now?"

"I... think so..."

"Okay... well... I need to tell you something..."

"Y-yeah...?"

"It's your mother..."

"Dad, you're scaring me!"

"Well... she's... she's got cancer... stage 4... she's uh... she's... she's in the hospital... are you okay...?"

I start shaking, crying hard. I feel the world sink around me.

"N-no! No! No! No no no no no NO! WHY ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"I-I'm not, Phil. Please calm yourself."

"CALM?! SHES DYING! DO YOU NOT NOTICE THAT SHES DEAD! STOP!" I throw my phone, kicking the coffee table.

"SHES DEAD," I scream. I fall to the floor, breathing hard.

I get up, walking to the door.

I scream, about to run but I get grabbed by the arm.

I fall to the floor, throwing a big fit.

"Phil! Phil!" The pair of arms and the man with it sits beside me as I continue to scream.

"PHIL! STOP!" Dan pulls me into his chest, rocking me to calm me.

"SHES DEAD! SHES DEAD! She- SHES deAd..." I keep crying, really hard.

Dan whispers to me, inaudible sounds and kisses my ear.

"Phil, slow. Speak sentences. What's wrong?" He plays with my hair.

"M-Mum... she... she's got cancer...," I whisper.

"Phil...," Dan whispers in disbelief. I break down in his arms.