Eccedentesiast

It's believed by some that we once walked the Earth as creatures with four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. As punishment for trying to conquer the gods, we were separated, doomed to spend eternity searching for our other halves; our soulmates. I thought I found mine in medical school, but we wanted different things.

There were three swift knocks on the front door, and I pushed myself off the couch, cracking my knuckles as I walked.

"You're not ready," my boyfriend of 3 years noted as I opened the door. He frowned as he looked down at my leggings, crew neck, and polka dotted fuzzy socks.

"Hey. You must not have gotten my text." I could see the look of disappointment on his face as he pulled his phone from his pocket. His eyes glanced over the screen, and he sighed, shoving the device back in his pocket like it burned his fingers.

"I wanted to surprise you and take you to dinner." I looked over my shoulder at the mountain of textbooks and notes that were sitting on the coffee table.

"I know, and that's really sweet of you, but I can't tonight. That's why I text you. We can go tomorrow or Saturday?" I suggested, raising my eyebrows and stepping to the right to let him inside. I shut the door behind him and walked into the kitchen to make myself another cup of tea.

"That's not a surprise."

"It doesn't have to be a surprise, but I have a really big test tomorrow. This is gonna determine where I do my surgical residency." I could feel a fight coming on, but I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. This had been building up over the last couple of months.

"You can't be serious." The irritation in his voice was obvious, but I tried to ignore it as I poured hot water into my mug.

"I'm sorry, but tonight really isn't good." I stirred in the milk and sugar, trying to keep my hands from shaking.

"When is a good time for you? Because every time I plan something, you have to cancel for some reason. It's like you're putting absolutely everything above me. Am I not a priority to you?" He was angry, and I didn't want to deal with the vicious things that were going to leave his mouth.

"Eli, that's not fair, and you know it!" I ran my fingers through my hair and crossed my arms over my chest. I had the one of the biggest exams of my career tomorrow, and instead of studying, I was arguing about a date that had to be postponed.

"This is the third time you've cancelled this month, Ariana!"

"I didn't cancel. I postponed. I'm in medical school! You knew what you were getting yourself into when you met me."

"I didn't think it was going to be this bad. If I had known, I wouldn't have asked you out." My eyes widened, and I felt tears of anger and frustration well up in my eyes.

"Leave," I lowered my voice. I was officially tired of arguing. I didn't have the time or the patience to deal with him.

"Wait, I didn't mean that. You know I love you. I just didn't think things were going to be this hard for us."

"Get out, Elijah." I stepped around the kitchen counter, walking to the front door and pulling it open. I stared at him, waiting for him to move. I wasn't going to close the door until he was gone.

"Ariana, can we please just-"

"GET OUT!"

I hadn't talked to him in years, so anyone could imagine my surprise when he walked into Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital with a pregnant woman. He looked like he saw a ghost when I walked past him, and all I wanted to do was escape into an on call room. My day already wasn't going as planned. I lost a patient and had a surgery cancelled. Bailey was on a mission to make everyone's life hell, and Hunt had a mean streak.

"You okay? You look like you're going to be sick." And of course it would be Jackson to find me hiding. He was the last person I wanted to see aside from Elijah.

"I'm fine," I lied, winding my hair into a bun.

"You don't look fine. Your face is red."

"I'm good. I have to go." I walked out of the trauma room I'd slipped into and away from the pit. I hammered down on the button for the elevator, trying my hardest to get up a few floors and make myself seem busy. I let out a small sigh of relief when the doors started to open, but the look on determination of Bailey's face let me know that I wasn't going to escape anytime soon.

"Car accident. Multiple traumas. The ambulances are on their way." I followed behind Lexie, grabbing gloves and a gown on the way to the sliding doors. It was cold and raining, nothing out of the ordinary for Seattle. I leaned forward, looking around for the ambulances. I could hear the sirens, but I didn't know which direction they were coming from, not that it mattered much either way. Two ambulances pulled in, the paramedics pushing the back doors open.

"Marie Dawson, 23. Her car was rear-ended. She went through the windshield. Still breathing, but she's unconscious. Cut on her left temple. Vital signs are stable." If this woman was rear ended, and she went through the windshield, whoever hit her was bound to come in behind.

"Harper, get her up to CT. She's going to need stitches." I was glad to have something to do, but I hoped that this woman got to live. I didn't want to see anyone die if I could help it. I pushed the gurney toward the elevator, slamming my finger down on the button.

"Come on," I muttered, tapping my foot impatiently. The sooner I got upstairs, the better I would feel.

"Ariana?" The last voice I ever wanted to hear came from behind me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, praying the elevator doors would open soon so that I didn't have to hold a conversation.

"I don't have time to talk to you right now." I glanced over my shoulder briefly before looking at the numbers directly below the ceiling.

"I can see that, but maybe when you're done? Do you think you'll have a minute?" I hated life. I hated my life. I always wondered what I had done that was so horrible, what I did that I deserved to constantly be punished.

"Probably not." I didn't understand what was taking the elevator so long. I didn't know if it was my impatience, or if someone was waiting to get on or off the elevator on every floor.

"Ari, please."

"You don't get to call me that. I said I don't have time," I snapped, finally turning around to face him. He had let his hair grown out, and he looked tired. His eyes were rimmed with red, and he looked like he'd been crying. His shoulders hunched as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Ariana, please. Just five minutes, that's all I'm asking for." I didn't want to give him the time, but I felt like he wasn't going to leave me alone until I agreed.

"Fine. Let me take her up to CT, and then you get five minutes. That's it." The elevators doors opened as if on cue, and I rolled my eyes, pushing the gurney inside. Elijah looked slightly hopeful as the doors closed.

"Boyfriend?" A voice startled me. I'd forgotten that there were two people on the other side of the gurney.

"Ex-boyfriend," I mumbled, trying to keep the conversation short. I didn't like sharing my life with the other people in the hospital. We were all mixed up enough as it was. Everyone was sleeping with someone they shouldn't be. There was drama, there was a chaos, and I took pride in the fact that majority of the time I wasn't a part of it. I kept my nose clean, only getting involved when it was absolutely necessary.

"We can take it from here," the nurse said, pushing the gurney out of the elevator.

"Dr. Bailey told me to do it." I really just didn't want to go back down to the ER. I knew what was waiting for me, and I wasn't looking forward to the conversation.

"I'll page you when her scans are done." The wound on her head was still open, and I at least wanted to close it before I left.

"Can I at least sew up her head?" The nurse nodded, and I made quick work of the sutures before heading back to the elevator. My finger hovered over the button before I decided to check on some of my patients. I walked into the room of Mrs. Williams. She was an elderly lady with a heart condition that was as sweet as se could be. She was one of my favorite patients, but I knew she wasn't going to be alive that much longer.

"Dr. Harper." She smiled at me, lifting the top half of her bed.

"Hi, Mrs. Williams. How are you feeling?" I asked, grabbing her chart from the edge of her bed. I scanned over the paperwork, looking for new notes or any abnormalities. Her labs looked fine, but things in a person's body could change so rapidly, one could never be entirely sure.

"I've had a little shortness of breath, but other than that I feel fine." I set her chart down and pulled my stethoscope from around my neck.

"Okay, can you sit up for me, please?" I inserted the earpieces and placed the resonator on her back, listening for anything abnormal, "Could you take a deep breath for me?" I tried my best to concentrate on the sound of her lungs, moving the resonator to a couple different spots on her back.

"Everything okay, doctor?"

"Everything sounds normal, but if you have anymore shortness of breath or anything else, you have the nurses page me, okay?" I smiled at her, rubbing her shoulder as she nodded at me. I stepped out of the room, walking down the hall to see Ellen, a 14 year old girl with ovarian cysts.

"Ariana?" Jackson was jogging toward me, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Someone named Elijah is asking for you. He collapsed in the ER. They don't know what's wrong with him yet. He was unconscious but he's okay." My heart stopped, and I knew I had to make a decision. He was fine. I didn't actually have to see him, but he'd probably keep asking until I went to see him.

"What room is he in?" I asked, sighing loudly. I felt like being a doctor would bring some good karma my way, but everything seemed to be going to shit.

"He's down the hall."

"Thanks." I muttered, redoing my bun. I walked down the hall, glancing into all of the rooms until I found Elijah.

"Hey, you came." I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes. I didn't want to jump to conclusions or cause a problem. This conversation needed to be as quick and painless as possible.

"Please don't tell me you faked all of this to get me to talk to you."

"No. I was diagnosed with a glioblastoma. It's inoperable." Everything seemed to freeze as my brain processed the information. Three years ago, I would have immediately burst into tears. Hearing the words leave his mouth now, I didn't know if I wanted to cry or page Dr. Shepherd.

"How many doctors have you been to?" I asked, my voice extremely quiet. I didn't know if my tone was going to give my feelings away. I wasn't even sure how I was feeling.

"Four. They've all said the same thing." I walked over to his bed, sitting down on the end. I looked down at his chart. There wasn't much to see, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't at least try to save him.

"We have the best neurosurgeon in the country here. I'm going to ask him to take a look at your scans, okay?" I placed my hand over his and didn't pull back when he squeezed my fingers.

"You don't have to do that. I don't want to hear another no from another person."

"Just let him take a look. I'm gonna order a head CT and an MRI. I'll be back with the doctor, alright?"

"Okay, thank you. And just so you know, I'm not dating the woman I came in here with. She's a co-worker. Her water broke in the middle of a trial." He didn't need to explain himself, and I didn't want to know where he was going with that conversation.

"It's alright. I'll be back." I pulled my hand from his and walked to the nurses station, "Can you page Dr. Shepherd for me please?" I asked as nicely as I could muster. My head was starting to cloud, and I needed to sit down.

"He's in surgery right now, but he said he'll be up as soon as he's done." I nodded and walked to the nearest on call room, collapsing onto one of the bunk beds. I closed my eyes and buried my face in one of the pillows, resisting the urge to scream.

"So are you going to tell me the truth?" It was almost like he was following me. Jackson was everywhere, especially when I didn't want him to be.

"He's my ex. We broke up right before my last year of medical school. He couldn't handle the demanding schedule, so we went our separate ways. He shows up here because his co-worker's water broke, and it just so happens that he has an inoperable glioblastoma. Whoop-tee-freakin-doo, right?" I didn't even realize that I was crying until his thumbs were rubbing at my cheeks, and he was pulling me into a hug. Any other day, I probably would have punched him, but I felt like I was drowning.

"Do you still love him?" I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of his statement.

"No. That ship sailed a long time ago. I mean at one point I thought he was my soulmate. We always had so much in common. We were the same, yet we were so different. We fit. I haven't found anyone else that got me like he did, but we can't be together. It won't work." I sniffed, wiping my nose with the back of my hand in an extremely unattractive gesture.

"Do you think you'll ever find someone like that again?" This definitely wasn't a conversation for me and Jackson, but if I was being honest, I wasn't close with any of the girls in the hospital. I hadn't found someone that I clicked with. I longed for the friendship Meredith and Cristina had, but no one sparked my interest.

"Eghhh, not really. I'm a firm believer in Greek mythology. One soulmate per person." I pulled out of his arms, leaning against the wall behind us. I wiped at my face and closed my eyes, trying to make my headache subside. I hated crying more than anything else in the world. It made me feel weak, and I hated feeling weak.

"Really?"

"Well, not the Greek mythology, but I do believe in only having one person that really gets you." It was sad, but it was true for most people. Divorce just meant that the person wasn't for you, because if it was really meant to be, people would find a way to work things out instead of just giving up.

"Nobody has just one soulmate. That's be such dumb system." I giggled a little, wiping at my nose again.

"Maybe you're right, but I'm not looking for my soulmate. No time, but thank you. You've been checking on me all day. I don't know why, but cut it out. You're still on my shit list." I grinned and walked out of the on call room.