Eccedentesiast

Growing up, I always wondered when attraction started. I wasn't talking about finding someone attractive, because that happened almost immediately in most cases. I was talking about that incessant tug that you feel when you see someone; that desire to be close to them even though they're only a foot away. At what point does attraction start? In my opinion, it started at the most inconvenient times, and it was probably God's way of punishing us all for lusting after someone. It also appeared to manifest when you were trying your best to fight it. The question was....when was it time to give in?



"How are you feeling?" Eli had just woken up for the first time, and despite the fact that he was doped up on painkillers, he managed to give me a small smile.

"Like shit. Did he get it out?"

"Yeah. Dr. Shepherd got all of it just like I told you he would. You're going to be fine, Elijah." I did his normal checkup, scribbling the results onto his chart.

"Does that mean we get to go to dinner?" I was hoping that would be something that would slip his mind. I really didn't have a desire to go anywhere with him. Just because I didn't want to see him die didn't mean that I suddenly wanted him back in my life. I knew we would never work out, and I wasn't going to try to fix what had been broken for years.

"I think we both know that's not a good idea." I kept my distance so he wouldn't try to hoodwink me by batting his eyelashes or making me feel guilty because he was going to be bedridden for the next couple of weeks.

"Come on, Ariana. For old times sake?" I didn't miss the pleading look in his eyes, but I refused to go down this road again.

"I'm sorry, but no. I'll send someone else in to check on you from now on." It was better if I stayed away. I knew he wouldn't stop asking me if I stuck around. I walked out of his room, running directly into Jackson. He reached out to steady me, a small smile on his face.

"I've been looking for you." I raised an eyebrow, adjusting my scrubs.

"Why?" I didn't mean for my response to come out the way it did, but if he noticed a difference in my tone, it surely didn't affect whatever he was getting ready to ask me.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to Joe's with me after work and get a drink?" For a fraction of a second, I was nervous. We'd never hung out outside of the hospital, and that was fine with me. I stared up at him, trying to figure out what my response was going to be, but then I realized that I had the perfect excuse.

"I can't tonight. I'm on call. Maybe another night." It wasn't a lie. I really was on call. This just gave me extra time to figure out if he was asking me as a date or as a friend. Maybe it would have been smart to ask him, but I didn't want to look like an idiot if he was asking as a friend.

"I'm on call tomorrow night, so Friday?" That was actually perfect. I'd been hoodwinked into going to dinner with my parents on Friday. Going to Joe's would give me an escape from a stressful situation. I loved my parents, but they could be overbearing.

"Friday is good." My pager beeped, and I sincerely hoped he didn't notice the way my shoulders sagged with relief. "I gotta go. I have a consult. I'll see you later, Jackson." I stepped around him, power walking to the elevator. The doors were getting ready to close when someone stuck their hand between them. Lexie got into the elevator with me.

"The page came from me." I eyed her suspiciously. I noticed Lexie had been around more, not that I saw it as much of an issue. I wasn't particularly close to anyone besides Jackson.

"Uh...why?"

"You looked a little uncomfortable talking to Jackson. Just trying to help." If she noticed that I looked uncomfortable, did he notice? It wouldn't really make a difference. He lived to see me squirm.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that. Is everything okay with you though?"

"I'm okay. It's just....well you don't seem to have too many friends, and neither do I. I just thought that we could be friends. We're in the same year of residency." I stopped her before she could ramble. She tended to talk a lot when she was nervous.

"I mean I don't really have friends by choice, but I always thought we were cool. I just don't talk a lot. I'll try to be better about it." She smiled, nodding her head.



Friday rolled around a lot faster than I expected, and I found myself slightly anxious for what was to come. I'd avoided Jackson for most of the day, only talking to him when it was absolutely necessary. Luckily I'd been busy, so I had the perfect excuse, but as I changed back into my normal clothes, I knew there was no more running.

"Hey, you ready?" Jackson was leaning in the doorway of the locker room, and I gulped. I wasn't oblivious to the fact that he was insanely attractive. I just chose to ignore it, but right now, it was hard to ignore. His eyes sparkled as he smiled at me. He was really turning on the charm.

"Yeah." I grabbed my jacket and my wallet, following him out into the cool Seattle air. My boots clicked against the pavement, and I ran my fingers through my hair. The silence was uncomfortable. Conversation between the two of us was never forced, so why were we both acting like school children on a first date? Jackson knew me better than anybody else in the hospital. This was weird. Thankfully we reached Joe's and he held the door open for me.

"Hey, Ariana. Your usual?" Joe asked, giving me a small smile. I nodded, waiting for my shot of tequila. I really needed to loosen up if I was going to have any semblance of a good time.

"Why do I get the feeling that I make you nervous?" Jackson smirked as he occupied the seat next to me. I quickly tossed back my shot, not batting an eyelash.

"I'm at a bar with the enemy. Technically, I'm a traitor," I joked, hoping to get rid of the tension between us. He laughed, and I relaxed a little.

"Traitor, huh?"

"Yep. You and your friends invaded our space. Not to mention you thought I was a child the first time you met me. I should hate your guts."

"But you don't." I wanted to smack the smug smile off of his face, but he was right. I didn't hate him. Far from it, actually.

"Nah. You're kinda hard to hate. Can't speak for the rest of your friends though. Reed's a pill." I never liked her. She was rude, annoying, and I wasn't the only one that disliked her.

"Yeah. She's.....a bit much." My phone started to vibrate in my pocket, my mother's number on the screen. I sighed, hitting the lock button, effectively shutting the vibration off. "Secret admirer you don't want to talk to?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Nope. I was supposed to go to dinner with my parents tonight. That was my mom. She's probably going to call about four more times before she realizes I'm not coming." Most people would have told their parents they couldn't make it, but that was never an option with mine. If I didn't answer, she'd assume I was working. Had I called, she would have found a way to get me over there.

"Ditching your parents for me. How sweet." I rolled my eyes, lightly punching his arm.

"Don't flatter yourself, Avery. My parents are overbearing. Every time I see them it's "when are you going to settle down? We're not getting any younger, and we want grandchildren". I get it. I'm 26, and most people are married or at least on their way to being married by now, but I thought they would understand. They're doctors. They know how demanding the schedule is. And it's not like my dad approves of anyone. The day he accepts anyone trying to date me, I'm sure hell will freeze over." Joe sat another shot in front of me along with a long island iced tea.

"I know how you feel. My mom's the same way. I'm glad I could save you from a night of torture." He raised his shot glass, clinking it against mine. I was finally feeling better about this whole situation. It was just like any other time we'd hung out in the hospital, except there was alcohol involved. I was freaked out for nothing. My phone started vibrating again, and I quickly hit the lock button. "You didn't tell them you weren't coming?"

"Nope. If I told her I had to work, she would have found a way to get me out of it. Better to just go missing." I decided to turn my phone off. I didn't use it much anyway, and I still had my pager if there was an emergency at the hospital.

"Your mom seemed so nice though. I'm sure she would understand." I laughed before taking a sip of my drink. My mother was one of the furthest things from understanding.

"You met her on a good day, and she likes you." I took a slow sip from my drink, enjoying the sweetness. I knew how dangerous long island iced teas could be. They would sneak up on you when you least expected it. I really didn't want to fall on my ass tonight, so I knew I had to limit myself.

"What can I say? Moms dig me." I pretended to gag, shaking my head at him.

"That's gross." I took another sip from my drink, standing up to walk to the dart board.

"Can I ask a question?" I threw the first dart before I turned to look at him.

"You just did." The look he gave me was comical, but I kept my snickering to a minimum. "Go ahead."

"Why are you single?" I wasn't expecting that question at all. He knew what went down with Elijah. I thought that was enough of an excuse for me not to date, but I guess not. I debated on telling. He really didn't need to know, but for the sake of conversation, I answered his question.

"I don't have time to date. After Eli, I just decided to stay to myself. I don't like someone up my ass 24/7, and being a doctor, whoever I date ends up being clingy because I'm never around. I'm not the biggest fan of PDA, so people feel like I'm ashamed of them, and I don't like to open up, so no one really has the chance to get to know me." I shrugged, tossing the second dart. Most people thought that I was lonely, but I actually liked my life the way that it was. I didn't have anything to worry about other than my job. There was no extra stress.

"You opened up to me," he pointed out, leaning against the table next to us.

"You're not trying to date me," I responded, taking another sip from my drink. He didn't say anything right away, and my blood started to run cold.

"That's the thing. I was serious about what I said to your mom." I groaned, sticking the rest of the darts in the board. So this was supposed to be a date. And if it wasn't, he planned on asking me out at some point in time.

"I was afraid of that."

"Is there something wrong with me?" I really didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I tried to be as nice as I could.

"No. There's nothing wrong with you. I just don't want a relationship. We're friends, and I like that. I can talk to you without things being weird. If we start dating, everything changes, and I'm not ready for everything to change." And I really didn't want the stress of dating someone on my shoulders. You constantly had to stroke the person's ego. I liked not having to answer to anyone.

"I can understand that." I let out a small sigh of relief, offering a smile before I sucked down the rest of my long island iced tea. I was starting to feel wound up again, the alcohol not yet taking effect.

"Awesome, because you're one of the few people I can actually tolerate in the hospital." Hopefully it would stay that way.