Eccedentesiast

Alcohol is a dangerous substance. Drinking it in moderation can be a good time, but drinking too much causes bad decisions. You say things that aren't meant to be said. You do things that aren't meant to be done. And sometimes you cry. Inhibitions are lowered, and the truth spills out like diarrhea. I knew all of this, and yet I still took a sip. I wasn't thinking. I just threw caution to the wind.



"I heard someone's birthday is coming up." I walked into Wallace's room, a wide smile on my face. He was one of my favorite kids in the PEDs ward. He entirely too smart for his own good, and he was adorable. He grinned, pushing the blanket from his legs. He had on his own pair of dark blue scrubs and a little lab coat.

"Hi Dr. Harper. Can I do my rounds with you today?"

"Of course. Let's go find Dr. Robbins." He latched onto my hand as we walked out of the room. I knew there was a girl that came in earlier that fell off the roof off her house. I stopped in her room first, being as she was the most emergent case at the time. Her parents were talking quietly in the corner. Wallace began to speak with them, and I watched the tension in their shoulders ease a bit.

"Oh good. You're already here." Arizona walked into the room, Cristina and Jackson behind her. We hadn't spoken much since our awkward conversation at Joe's, and I had to wonder if things were better like that. I hated not talking to him, but I was saving both of us from a world of trouble.

"Morning Dr. Robbins," Wallace chirped.

"Good morning, Dr. Wallace. I see that you've already introduced yourself to Mr. and Mrs. Boyd." Arizona was always so animated when it came to the kids. It was one of the things that made her an amazing doctor. It took a special kind of person to operate on children, and I knew she was perfect for the job.

"Yes, reminds me of Hillary at that age. Such an overachiever." Wallace smiled proudly, hugging his clipboard to his chest.

"Dr. Yang, why don't you present?" I didn't understand what Cristina was doing here. Everyone knew that she was going to end up in cardio, and she wasn't the biggest fan of children.

"Excuse me, little...doctor boy. Uh, Hillary Boyd, 15 years old, fell off the roof of her house. 52 acute fractures were diagnosed when she was admitted last night." That was a ridiculous amount, and I knew this girl was going to be in a lot of pain come recovery time, "An intricate and extremely challenging ORIF surgery was performed by Dr. Torres and Dr. Hunt this morning before rounds."

"Thank you, Dr. Yang. If she fares well enough today, I'd like to go in tomorrow to repair her subtrochanteric fracture next." I hadn't noticed that Callie and Owen were in the room, but seeing as they operated on the girl this morning, it only made sense. I could tell the parents were confused about everything that had just left Callie's mouth.

"Can anyone tell me the proper dosage of ceftriaxone for a pediatric patient?"

"50 milligrams per kilogram per day." Jackson spoke up, barely glancing in my direction. I could tell something was bothering him, but I didn't want to ask and open a can of worms that I would much rather stay shut.

"And, Dr. Wallace, can you tell me the proper dose for this patient if she were 42 kilograms?

"2.1 grams per day...if you carry the decimal." I knew his parents would be proud of him. I wasn't sure what they did for a living, but Wallace had been here for seven months. It was very easy to fall behind on work when you're sick, but Dr. Robbins made sure that he was able to keep up. We all walked back into Wallace's heavily decorated room, and he hopped onto his bed. I stayed toward the back, hoping to make a quick escape once we were done with rounds.

"Okay, who's presenting?"

"I am Dr. Robbins."

"Proceed." I wouldn't be surprised if he became a doctor in the future. He was really intelligent for a child that was only 10.

"Wallace Anderson, 10 years old..almost 11. Been here for seven months, in and out over the last two years. Suffers from short gut syndrome, which means he can't properly absorb nutrition." It was such a sad situation. He really didn't have hope unless he got a bowel transplant.

"Exactly. Dr. Harper?" I pushed myself off the wall to stand up straight, cursing my small stature.

"15 intestinal surgeries to date, plus a bowel lengthening procedure, which helped for a while, but recently he's had to go back to being fed through TPN."

"Yum." Wallace grabbed his IV bag and shook it, a sarcastic tone in his voice. I really couldn't imagine being in his position. He was a child. All he wanted to do was eat pizza, and he couldn't even manage that.

"How'd he do this morning?" His parents walked in, and I pressed myself back into the wall, avoiding Jackson's gaze.

"We covered some pretty advanced algebraic conversions."

"Dr. Robbins helps me with my math and science homework by letting me go on rounds."

"Fascinating." Cristina didn't want to be here. That much was obvious, but she caught on to Jackson's staring and smirked at me. I really didn't want to have to explain myself to her because I knew it was going to get around. Things always did in this hospital whether you wanted them to or not. The sight of someone moving outside the room window caught my attention. My mother was standing at the nurse's station.

"Shit," I mumbled, hiding behind the wall.

"What's wrong?" The first words Jackson spoke to me almost made me jump.

"My mother is here," I whispered, trying to make sure that she couldn't see me. I'd been dodging her calls, but I didn't think she would show up here. I was about as screwed as they come. Jackson smiled, enjoying my predicament entirely too much.

"Let's go say hello." He latched onto my wrist, dragging me out of the hospital room.

"Mrs. Harper!" She turned around, grinning at the green eyed asshole standing to my right, her eyes only flickering to me for a moment.

"Jackson, it's good to see you again. Ariana, I was worried that you'd died since you don't like to answer phone calls." She pursed her lips, fixing her glare that I knew all too well on my face. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, knowing if I did so I was going to get a lecture about being ladylike.

"Sorry. I've been busy."

"Too busy to call your parents and tell them that you can't make it to dinner?" I opened my mouth to give her a very rehearsed excuse, but Jackson beat me to the punch.

"That's actually my fault, Mrs. Harper. She was out with me." This only seemed to thrill my mother even more, but I was mortified. Jackson hadn't lied, but it was the context he used that had my mom thinking that she was finally going to get some grandchildren out of me. I was never going to hear the end of it.

"Oh! Honey, why didn't you just say you had plans with Jackson. We could have rescheduled." I swore she loved everyone more than me, even the people she didn't know by name. She always seemed to take everyone else's side.

"I forgot. I'm sorry."

"You know, I was wondering when you two were going to get together. I could just tell that there was something between the two of you." I groaned, placing my hand over my eyes. Would my torment ever end?

"That's not exactly how it happened." It was better to be honest than have her get her hopes up, but Jackson clearly wasn't done playing his little game.

"I think I'm wearing her down." He winked in my direction, and I decided against throwing my stethoscope at his head. He really didn't understand the magnitude of what he was getting us into. He was just going to have to learn the hard way.

"Wonderful. I know she's a handful. Anyone that can get through the thick walls of her skull is a miracle worker."

"Okay. I think that's enough torture for one day. Did you just come to yell at me about missing dinner or is something wrong?"

"I came to tell you that your grandparents are in town, so if you plan on skipping dinner again, you'll have them to deal with." My grandparents were more uppity than the people that gave me life, but I was never the victim of their attitudes. It always came down on my parents. In their eyes, I was the golden grandchild that could do no wrong. It was delightful.

"When did they get in?"

"Last night, so if you're on call, switch with someone." I was excited to see them. They'd actually ask me about work instead asking me when I was going to get married. They waited until they were in their thirties to get married, so they would understand my reservations. I came from a long line of doctors, but my parents were the only ones that got married during their residency.

"I'll take your shift. I have some research to get done anyway." I'd almost forgotten that Jackson was standing there.

"Thanks, Jackson. You're the best."

"So that means you'll be at dinner tonight?" The hopeful look in my mother's eyes almost made me feel guilty. I knew my parents loved me. They were just overbearing, and if I could avoid the topic of my love life, I would at all costs.

"Yes, mom. I'll be at dinner."

"Great! I'll see you then." She kissed my cheek and left. I felt my shoulders relax, and I leaned against the nurses' station, placing my hand over my eyes.

"One dinner's not going to kill you, Ariana."

"I actually don't mind seeing my grandparents, and seriously, thank you for taking my shift. I owe you one." I smiled and tried to walk away, but he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yes, I have an idea about that." I knew where he was going with this, and I wondered if he would ever give up.

"And I have to go check on a patient. I'll see you later." I quickly escaped into an on call room, locking the door behind me.

***

"Oh my goodness! Look at my granddaughter!" My grandmother wrapped me in her arms, pressing multiple kisses to my forehead and cheeks.

"Hi grandma. Hi grandpa."

"My little surgeon. How's work? I didn't think you'd be able to make it to dinner."

"A friend of mine took my shift, but it's great. I'm working on a case for a little boy with Short Gut Syndrome. He's adorable, and his parents are donating like $25,000,000 to Dr. Robbins for research." She seemed so overwhelmed when she found out, but I knew she deserved it, and there would be more kids with Wallace's condition that we wouldn't be able to save. That money was a blessing to the hospital.

"You know, I was a little worried when you picked surgery. All those long hours, I thought you were going to lose that light in your eyes, but it's gotten even brighter. I'm proud of you, baby." My grandpa kissed my hair and patted my shoulder.

"Thanks, grandpa."

"So, you and Jackson finally went on a date?" Of course she was going to bring him up. As much as I loved my mother for giving birth to me, sometimes I really wanted to strangle her.

"I already told you it wasn't like that. We went out for drinks after work, and I told him that I didn't want to date him. We're staying friends. Please let it go," I begged. I was tired of having this conversation. I could see the curiosity in my grandparents eyes. She did that on purpose.

"I don't know why you won't give that boy a chance."

"Jackson and I are friends, mom. It's going to stay that way. When I'm ready to settle down, I will." I was trying my best not to get frustrated. I didn't want to start a fight, especially not with my grandparents here. I rarely ever got to see them, and I wanted this to be a happy visit.

"Who's this Jackson person?" My grandmother asked, sitting down on the couch.

"He's a friend from work. He's actually the person that took my shift so I could be here. He met mom when she visited me at the hospital. She's been trying to get us together ever since."

"Anita, leave this child alone. If she wants to focus on her career, let her. Just because you decided to get married fresh out of medical school doesn't mean that she needs to follow in your footsteps. She's 26. She has plenty of time to get married." I tried to hide the triumphant smile on my face. Seeing my mother get scolded was hilarious.

"I just want grandchildren while I'm still able to pick them up."

"She will give you grandchildren when she's good and ready." I wanted to be childish and stick my tongue out at her, but I just did a mental celebratory dance when she rolled her eyes and went into the kitchen. I gave my grandmother a grateful hug, but she held onto me when I tried to pull away, "Is he cute?"

"He's gorgeous," I admitted, but his face wasn't going to change my mind about wanting to date him.

"Keep him around. I didn't want to be with your grandfather right away. Look where we turned out." Their love story was one for the books, so I trusted her judgement. I just didn't want to think about a ring on my finger anytime soon.

***

"Are you going to Robbins' surprise party?" I wasn't even aware that she was having one. Things with Wallace weren't looking great, and I knew the last thing she wanted was to go to a surprise party. Hell, it was the last thing I'd want if one of my patients went into septic shock.

"Uhm...that's probably not the greatest idea. Wallace didn't survive." I was wondering why majority of the doctors I knew were gone. They were all at Torres' apartment.

"Well maybe this will cheer her up. Come on, it'll be fun." Sometimes Lexie was entirely too perky for my taste, but she was proving to be a decent friend.

"Alright, let's go." I closed the chart on my last patient and walked to the resident's locker room to change out of my scrubs. I was tying my shoes when I noticed someone standing in front of me, "Hey, Jackson." I gave him a small smile, pulling my hair out of my sweater.

"Hey. You heading to the surprise party?"

"Yeah. I'm going with Lexie."

"Okay. I'll see you there." I nodded once and escaped the locker room, heading out to the parking lot. Torres' apartment was already full when we got there, and I immediately moved to the snack table. I was starving, and I knew a handful of chips weren't going to be enough. I thanked my lucky stars that there were pizza boxes in the kitchen.

"You look like you could use a shot." I was a little surprised to see Sloan standing in front of me. I didn't have a particularly close relationship with him. I wasn't on his service a lot, and when I was, I never did much that was related to medicine. I pretty much avoided him when I could.

"Uh, yeah. Sounds good." I watched as he poured two shots of tequila, and I took both. I didn't realize how stressed I'd been until the alcohol hit my stomach and my body started to relax.

"Rough day?" He sipped from his cup, staring down at me. I recognized the look on his face. Sloan was ridiculously attractive, and he liked to use it to his advantage. I don't think he could count on two hands and both of his feet the amount of people he'd slept with just in the hospital alone, not to mention the amount of people he'd slept with before even coming to Seattle. He was a manwhore. He knew it, and he didn't care. He was looking at me with those same smoldering eyes he gave every girl that he wanted to get into bed, but I wasn't going to fall for it.

"You didn't hear? Wallace didn't make it." It sucked that he died, but it was worse because he died on his birthday. I couldn't imagine the pain his parents were going through, and I was almost sure that they were going to take back their donation.

"I tried to tell Callie this party was a bad idea." He sighed and down the rest of the whiskey I assumed was in his cup.

"Yeah. I said the same thing." I walked away before he could convince me to meet him in the bathroom, heading back to the snack table.

"How was dinner with your grandparents?" I looked up from the pretzel bowl, swallowing the food in my mouth before I answered Jackson.

"It was great. They flew back home already, but it was good seeing them. I don't get to a lot. They live in New York."

"So you kinda ran from me earlier." I was really hoping he wasn't going to bring that up, but I was learning to expect him to say any and everything at this point.

"Yeah, Jackson..."

"You know, I'm actually pretty amazing, and if you can't see that, then it's your loss." I sighed as he walked away from me and walked back to the kitchen to pour myself another drink. Just when I thought everything was fine, it all gets shot to hell. I thought we could save Wallace. That didn't happen. I thought Jackson was okay with being friends. Clearly I was wrong. I tossed back shot after shot, trying to ignore him flirting with every pretty face that was in the room.

"Surprise!" I didn't even see Arizona walk in, but I could tell by the look on her face that this wasn't what she wanted. She burst into tears, and Callie rushed to her side.

"I knew this was a bad idea." Sloan was at my side again, and with the amount of alcohol I had in my system, my inhibitions were significantly lowered.

"Where's the bathroom?" I needed to get away from him before I did something that I was going to regret in the morning.

"Last door on your right." I escaped down the hallway, stopping in my tracks when I saw Jackson and Cristina against a wall. They were the last two people I expected to be into each other, but it wasn't my problem. Still, I couldn't fight the small stab I felt in my chest. It was my fault though. I was the one that said I wanted to stay friends. I walked into the bathroom, hoping they didn't see me, and I shut the door. After splashing cold water on my face, I attempted to give myself a mini pep talk as I prepared to walk back out and call a cab. There was no way I could drive home, "You know, most women don't refuse my advances." I raised my eyebrows when Sloan stopped in front of me.

"Do they just drop their panties when you speak to them?" I asked out of curiosity, but I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.

"Usually, yes. You seem to be a bit more on the difficult side." I mulled over his words for a minute. This was actually sort of perfect. Sloan didn't do relationships. I didn't want a relationship. It was just sex, and it didn't even have to be more than once. Jackson was clearly taking steps to get over whatever our situation was. Maybe it was time for me to live a little.

"Let's get out of here."