Eccedentesiast
Regret
Regret. It's an emotion we as people often feel, unless you're a sociopath, and one we rarely discuss. There's a quote, "Live, laugh, love, forgive and forget, because life's too short to be living with regrets". In my opinion, this quote is false. Regret serves the purpose of teaching us lessons. You make a mistake, you regret the choice you made, and you learn from the situation. But how do you learn when you knew the choice you were making was wrong before you made it?
Grateful was the only emotion I was feeling as I realized that I had the day off. I was grateful that I got to stay in my bed because my head was pounding. I was grateful that my bathroom was less and thirty feet away because I felt a strong urge to puke. What I wasn't grateful for was the large arm that was draped across my waist. My eyes shot open, and I realized I wasn't home. Gone was the grateful feeling I'd wallowed in for the last 45 seconds. I turned my body slowly, bracing myself to be staring into the ugliest face I'd ever encountered, but I saw Sloan, sleeping peacefully. I slipped out of the bed as carefully as I could, gathering my clothes from the floor. I dressed in the hallway, making sure I got all of my things before I ran like a bat out of hell. I send up a silent thank you that Sloan and Torres lived in the same building because that meant I didn't have to call a cab. My car was still parked, and I rushed home, thanking my lucky stars that I didn't get a speeding ticket.
First chance I got, I hurled into my toilet repeatedly. I didn't remember drinking enough for this magnitude of a hangover, but part of my night was definitely missing. I sighed, leaning my head on the porcelain when I finally stopped dry heaving. The bathroom floor seemed like the perfect place to lay down, but whoever was ringing my doorbell clearly had other ideas from me. I made quick work of brushing the vomit smell from my mouth and trudged toward the front door, only opening it enough to poke my head out.
"Hey. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay? You disappeared, and I tried calling you, but you didn't answer." It was too early in the day for me to deal with Lexie's excessive rambling. My head was pounding and despite the fact that I'd empty the contents of my stomach, I still felt nauseous. I needed to lay down.
"I'm hungover. If you're going to come in, please keep it down." I left the door cracked open and walked to my room, shutting the blackout curtains and crawling into my bed. I buried myself in my blankets and curled myself into a ball, cursing the day I ever decided that drinking alcohol was a good idea. I was planning on staying away from the stuff from now on.
"I didn't really take you as the type to disappear before your partner wakes up." I'd been avoiding Sloan all day, but obviously my efforts had failed. I looked up from the chart I was studying, my eyes flickering to his face briefly. He was smirking, and I had a strange feeling that that look was going to follow me around for the remainder of my stay in this hospital.
"Imagine the surprise I felt when I woke up and saw your face." I shut the chart and handed it back to the nurse, making my way toward the elevators. I had to go pick up lab results for Bailey, the perfect excuse to escape from his prying eyes, but he followed me.
"You have to admit, I'm not the worst thing to wake up to." He was right, but the fact that I woke up next to him at all was a problem within itself. When I first got to the hospital, I'd made it my sole purpose to avoid falling into bed with him like the rest of the female population. The amount of women that threw themselves at his feet was ridiculous, and I didn't want to be one of them. Yet here I was, cheeks red with embarrassment as I pressed the button for the elevator again.
"As pretty as you are, and you are very pretty, what happened the other night can't happen again. It shouldn't have happened the first time. I blame the alcohol. You're my boss, and to be completely honest, you're a bit of an ass. So just do me a really big favor, and keep your comments to yourself unless it has to do with work." I gave him a tight lipped smile and stepped into the elevator when the doors opened, but he stepped in behind me, and I groaned.
"Come on, I'm not that bad, am I?" He knew how attractive he was, and he used it to his advantage often. He was trying to do it now by blinding me with a smile, but it took me being under the influence of alcohol for his charms to work. I was completely sober now, and I wasn't going to fall for it again.
"If you ask the 52 nurses in this hospital that you've slept with, I would say yes." I couldn't remember much of our encounter, but judging from the slight soreness in my lower body, I'd say it was a more than decent night.
"I haven't slept with 52 nurses." I didn't know the exact number. I didn't need to. I was positive he'd slept with more than 20 people in this hospital, and that enough to make me want to run.
"Close enough. Either way it goes, this was a one time thing. Have a good day." The doors opened, and I was shocked to see Jackson waiting to walk inside. I side stepped around him, heading down to pick up the labs for Bailey.
"Ariana, wait!" I sped up, turning the corner faster than I should have, and I smacked into someone. I cursed as I hit the floor, giving myself a few seconds to recuperate before I opened my eyes.
"I'm so sorry." Someone was pulling me off of the floor before I even knew what was going on. "Are you okay?" I looked up, meeting a pair of crystal clear blue eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine. That was my fault. I wasn't really paying attention. I was running from someone."
"Ariana, are you alright?" And cue the person I was running from.
"Yes. I'm okay." I pulled away from the stranger, trying to ignore the curious expression on his face while trying to slip away from Jackson. Nothing was working in my favor today. First Sloan, and now I was caught in between two extremely attractive people.
"Can we talk?"
"I have to go pick something up labs for Bailey. I'll find you later." That was definitely a lie. As soon as my shift was over, I was running like a bat out of hell, but walking away from both of them proved to be less than effective. As soon as I gave Bailey the lab results, I was told to go into the pit because several people needed stitches. It gave me something to do, but Jackson was down there checking on patients. It was like I couldn't escape him.
"Will you be sewing up my hand? I've been waiting for a while." I walked over to the blonde woman with a deep laceration in her palm. The wound looked pretty clean, but looks could be deceiving.
"Yes, I'll be stitching you up. Could you tell me how this happened?" I focused on cleaning and numbing the area before I started the sutures. She needed a fair amount, and I took my time so she wouldn't have much of a scar once it healed.
"I'm clumsy. Washing dishes is just something I need to avoid from now on....At least when butcher knives are involved." The cut looked too deep for it to be just from washing dishes, but I couldn't force the information out of her. She probably wanted to avoid talking to the police, but she wasn't surrounded by chaos, and she didn't have any bruises on her face or arms. Maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions.
"Alright, you're all done. You're going to need to come back in five days so I can take them out, but you should be fine." I smiled and disposed of the items I was using, pulling on a pair of fresh gloves and moving on to the next patient.
"Who's the hottie with the green eyes?" The girl sitting in front of me couldn't be more than fifteen, and I didn't have to turn around to know that she was taking about Jackson. I also didn't want to meet his gaze.
"That's Dr. Avery. You want me to call him over?" I was praying to the high heavens that she would say no. I shouldn't have offered, but it was obvious my brain wasn't necessarily working today.
"God, no. I wouldn't even know what to say to him. He is looking over here though. Actually, I think he's looking at you. Is that your boyfriend?" I didn't understand how people could be so invasive sometimes. It was unnecessary.
"No. Far from it, actually." I didn't know what was going on with Jackson anymore, and maybe that was why he wanted to talk. I hadn't told anybody that I saw him with Cristina, and I also didn't know if anything happened with them after I went into the bathroom. I didn't see either of them on my way out with Sloan, but maybe he'd seen me.
"You guys would make a cute couple." I quickly finished off her stitches, trying to avoid the rest of the conversation.
"Thanks. Are you parents here or do we need to call them?"
"They're at the nurses station." She motioned over to a middle aged couple that looked like they were arguing. She rolled her eyes, pulling her phone from her pocket. As much as I hated the idea of people dying, I really wanted something interesting to come into the ER. I hated when I didn't have anything to do.
"Looks like you have a free moment. Can we talk now?" Jackson didn't give me much of a choice as he grabbed me by the elbow, pulling me into an empty trauma room.
"You know, when you ask someone a question, you should wait for them to answer before you drag them off somewhere." I crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against the hospital bed as he closed the door. I knew he wasn't going to let me out without a proper conversation, and I continued to hope that something would come in.
"You don't like to hear what I have to say so I need to take extraordinary measures." He smiled, trying to make light of the situation, but I was nowhere close to being in a good mood.
"There's nothing left to talk about Jackson. You said what you needed to say, so why are we in here?" I didn't know where he was going with this. He made it clear at the party that he really didn't have a desire to talk to me anymore, so this conversation was pointless.
"I saw you leave the party with Sloan." I'd never rolled my eyes so hard in my life. I knew I didn't want to hear whatever was about to come out of his mouth. The look on his face said it all. He wasn't happy.
"Okay, and? I'm an adult. I can leave a party with whoever I want. Besides, you seemed pretty busy with Cristina," I snapped, pushing past him to walk back into the ER. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me back so that I bounced against his side.
"You don't get to be upset about that. You're the one that said you wanted to be friends."
"I'm not upset! I just don't understand why you're bringing up the fact that I left with Sloan when you were preoccupied. We're both free to see whoever we want. I don't get what the point of you pulling me in here was." I really just wanted to run away. I was sick of having this talk. This was yet another reason that I didn't want to date anyone. My every move would be watched, and I didn't want to answer to anyone. I was perfectly happy with the way my life was going, but Jackson was starting to piss me off.
"I'm just trying to understand you."
"I don't know what there is to understand. I told you that I wanted to be friends. I stand by what I said. If that's not something you can handle, then maybe we don't need to talk at all, but I'm not going to keep going back and forth with you." It was almost like talking to a child, having to repeat myself every time the conversation came around. I really just wanted the clock to rewind to before we merged with Mercy West. Everything was easier then.
"Ariana--"
"No! Don't Ariana me. Do you understand or not? Because this is the last time I'm having this conversation with you." I couldn't avoid him, but I could ignore him.
"Yeah, you've made yourself clear." I nodded and walked out, heading toward an on call room. It was almost like someone had it out for me because Sloan crossed my path. I knew I was going to regret my decision later, but right now I was frustrated, and I really didn't care. I grabbed his wrist, yanking him into the room with me. I locked the door and pulled my top off, reaching for the hook on my bra.
"Had a change of heart?" He smirked down at me, and I resisted the urge to smack him.
"Shut up, and take off your pants."
***
Grateful was the only emotion I was feeling as I realized that I had the day off. I was grateful that I got to stay in my bed because my head was pounding. I was grateful that my bathroom was less and thirty feet away because I felt a strong urge to puke. What I wasn't grateful for was the large arm that was draped across my waist. My eyes shot open, and I realized I wasn't home. Gone was the grateful feeling I'd wallowed in for the last 45 seconds. I turned my body slowly, bracing myself to be staring into the ugliest face I'd ever encountered, but I saw Sloan, sleeping peacefully. I slipped out of the bed as carefully as I could, gathering my clothes from the floor. I dressed in the hallway, making sure I got all of my things before I ran like a bat out of hell. I send up a silent thank you that Sloan and Torres lived in the same building because that meant I didn't have to call a cab. My car was still parked, and I rushed home, thanking my lucky stars that I didn't get a speeding ticket.
First chance I got, I hurled into my toilet repeatedly. I didn't remember drinking enough for this magnitude of a hangover, but part of my night was definitely missing. I sighed, leaning my head on the porcelain when I finally stopped dry heaving. The bathroom floor seemed like the perfect place to lay down, but whoever was ringing my doorbell clearly had other ideas from me. I made quick work of brushing the vomit smell from my mouth and trudged toward the front door, only opening it enough to poke my head out.
"Hey. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay? You disappeared, and I tried calling you, but you didn't answer." It was too early in the day for me to deal with Lexie's excessive rambling. My head was pounding and despite the fact that I'd empty the contents of my stomach, I still felt nauseous. I needed to lay down.
"I'm hungover. If you're going to come in, please keep it down." I left the door cracked open and walked to my room, shutting the blackout curtains and crawling into my bed. I buried myself in my blankets and curled myself into a ball, cursing the day I ever decided that drinking alcohol was a good idea. I was planning on staying away from the stuff from now on.
***
"I didn't really take you as the type to disappear before your partner wakes up." I'd been avoiding Sloan all day, but obviously my efforts had failed. I looked up from the chart I was studying, my eyes flickering to his face briefly. He was smirking, and I had a strange feeling that that look was going to follow me around for the remainder of my stay in this hospital.
"Imagine the surprise I felt when I woke up and saw your face." I shut the chart and handed it back to the nurse, making my way toward the elevators. I had to go pick up lab results for Bailey, the perfect excuse to escape from his prying eyes, but he followed me.
"You have to admit, I'm not the worst thing to wake up to." He was right, but the fact that I woke up next to him at all was a problem within itself. When I first got to the hospital, I'd made it my sole purpose to avoid falling into bed with him like the rest of the female population. The amount of women that threw themselves at his feet was ridiculous, and I didn't want to be one of them. Yet here I was, cheeks red with embarrassment as I pressed the button for the elevator again.
"As pretty as you are, and you are very pretty, what happened the other night can't happen again. It shouldn't have happened the first time. I blame the alcohol. You're my boss, and to be completely honest, you're a bit of an ass. So just do me a really big favor, and keep your comments to yourself unless it has to do with work." I gave him a tight lipped smile and stepped into the elevator when the doors opened, but he stepped in behind me, and I groaned.
"Come on, I'm not that bad, am I?" He knew how attractive he was, and he used it to his advantage often. He was trying to do it now by blinding me with a smile, but it took me being under the influence of alcohol for his charms to work. I was completely sober now, and I wasn't going to fall for it again.
"If you ask the 52 nurses in this hospital that you've slept with, I would say yes." I couldn't remember much of our encounter, but judging from the slight soreness in my lower body, I'd say it was a more than decent night.
"I haven't slept with 52 nurses." I didn't know the exact number. I didn't need to. I was positive he'd slept with more than 20 people in this hospital, and that enough to make me want to run.
"Close enough. Either way it goes, this was a one time thing. Have a good day." The doors opened, and I was shocked to see Jackson waiting to walk inside. I side stepped around him, heading down to pick up the labs for Bailey.
"Ariana, wait!" I sped up, turning the corner faster than I should have, and I smacked into someone. I cursed as I hit the floor, giving myself a few seconds to recuperate before I opened my eyes.
"I'm so sorry." Someone was pulling me off of the floor before I even knew what was going on. "Are you okay?" I looked up, meeting a pair of crystal clear blue eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine. That was my fault. I wasn't really paying attention. I was running from someone."
"Ariana, are you alright?" And cue the person I was running from.
"Yes. I'm okay." I pulled away from the stranger, trying to ignore the curious expression on his face while trying to slip away from Jackson. Nothing was working in my favor today. First Sloan, and now I was caught in between two extremely attractive people.
"Can we talk?"
"I have to go pick something up labs for Bailey. I'll find you later." That was definitely a lie. As soon as my shift was over, I was running like a bat out of hell, but walking away from both of them proved to be less than effective. As soon as I gave Bailey the lab results, I was told to go into the pit because several people needed stitches. It gave me something to do, but Jackson was down there checking on patients. It was like I couldn't escape him.
"Will you be sewing up my hand? I've been waiting for a while." I walked over to the blonde woman with a deep laceration in her palm. The wound looked pretty clean, but looks could be deceiving.
"Yes, I'll be stitching you up. Could you tell me how this happened?" I focused on cleaning and numbing the area before I started the sutures. She needed a fair amount, and I took my time so she wouldn't have much of a scar once it healed.
"I'm clumsy. Washing dishes is just something I need to avoid from now on....At least when butcher knives are involved." The cut looked too deep for it to be just from washing dishes, but I couldn't force the information out of her. She probably wanted to avoid talking to the police, but she wasn't surrounded by chaos, and she didn't have any bruises on her face or arms. Maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions.
"Alright, you're all done. You're going to need to come back in five days so I can take them out, but you should be fine." I smiled and disposed of the items I was using, pulling on a pair of fresh gloves and moving on to the next patient.
"Who's the hottie with the green eyes?" The girl sitting in front of me couldn't be more than fifteen, and I didn't have to turn around to know that she was taking about Jackson. I also didn't want to meet his gaze.
"That's Dr. Avery. You want me to call him over?" I was praying to the high heavens that she would say no. I shouldn't have offered, but it was obvious my brain wasn't necessarily working today.
"God, no. I wouldn't even know what to say to him. He is looking over here though. Actually, I think he's looking at you. Is that your boyfriend?" I didn't understand how people could be so invasive sometimes. It was unnecessary.
"No. Far from it, actually." I didn't know what was going on with Jackson anymore, and maybe that was why he wanted to talk. I hadn't told anybody that I saw him with Cristina, and I also didn't know if anything happened with them after I went into the bathroom. I didn't see either of them on my way out with Sloan, but maybe he'd seen me.
"You guys would make a cute couple." I quickly finished off her stitches, trying to avoid the rest of the conversation.
"Thanks. Are you parents here or do we need to call them?"
"They're at the nurses station." She motioned over to a middle aged couple that looked like they were arguing. She rolled her eyes, pulling her phone from her pocket. As much as I hated the idea of people dying, I really wanted something interesting to come into the ER. I hated when I didn't have anything to do.
"Looks like you have a free moment. Can we talk now?" Jackson didn't give me much of a choice as he grabbed me by the elbow, pulling me into an empty trauma room.
"You know, when you ask someone a question, you should wait for them to answer before you drag them off somewhere." I crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against the hospital bed as he closed the door. I knew he wasn't going to let me out without a proper conversation, and I continued to hope that something would come in.
"You don't like to hear what I have to say so I need to take extraordinary measures." He smiled, trying to make light of the situation, but I was nowhere close to being in a good mood.
"There's nothing left to talk about Jackson. You said what you needed to say, so why are we in here?" I didn't know where he was going with this. He made it clear at the party that he really didn't have a desire to talk to me anymore, so this conversation was pointless.
"I saw you leave the party with Sloan." I'd never rolled my eyes so hard in my life. I knew I didn't want to hear whatever was about to come out of his mouth. The look on his face said it all. He wasn't happy.
"Okay, and? I'm an adult. I can leave a party with whoever I want. Besides, you seemed pretty busy with Cristina," I snapped, pushing past him to walk back into the ER. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me back so that I bounced against his side.
"You don't get to be upset about that. You're the one that said you wanted to be friends."
"I'm not upset! I just don't understand why you're bringing up the fact that I left with Sloan when you were preoccupied. We're both free to see whoever we want. I don't get what the point of you pulling me in here was." I really just wanted to run away. I was sick of having this talk. This was yet another reason that I didn't want to date anyone. My every move would be watched, and I didn't want to answer to anyone. I was perfectly happy with the way my life was going, but Jackson was starting to piss me off.
"I'm just trying to understand you."
"I don't know what there is to understand. I told you that I wanted to be friends. I stand by what I said. If that's not something you can handle, then maybe we don't need to talk at all, but I'm not going to keep going back and forth with you." It was almost like talking to a child, having to repeat myself every time the conversation came around. I really just wanted the clock to rewind to before we merged with Mercy West. Everything was easier then.
"Ariana--"
"No! Don't Ariana me. Do you understand or not? Because this is the last time I'm having this conversation with you." I couldn't avoid him, but I could ignore him.
"Yeah, you've made yourself clear." I nodded and walked out, heading toward an on call room. It was almost like someone had it out for me because Sloan crossed my path. I knew I was going to regret my decision later, but right now I was frustrated, and I really didn't care. I grabbed his wrist, yanking him into the room with me. I locked the door and pulled my top off, reaching for the hook on my bra.
"Had a change of heart?" He smirked down at me, and I resisted the urge to smack him.
"Shut up, and take off your pants."