Don't Forget to Be the Way You Are
Three
It wasn't until Stefan's car pulled into park outside his apartment complex that it dawned on Brian how he had always hated dinner parties. He almost never liked the food and was always seated beside his polar opposite, which he admitted could be a wonderful thing, but had yet to experience an evening where that had worked out in his favour. But, this was Stefan's dinner party. They were always a little different. He held onto that thought.
Brian had been merely watching at first as Stefan raced around his kitchen to finish up preparing his mini-feast. He sometimes wished he'd learnt to be a better cook himself. He could do the basics but what was the point in putting in the effort if it was only yourself you were impressing?
"Brian, can you stir that pan for me?" Brian sighed before getting up and doing as he was asked, waiting for Stefan to turn his back before sneaking a taste. Not bad.
"So who's coming tonight, exactly?" Brian asked once Stefan had slowed down a little, taking the spoon from Brian as he realised he was hardly paying attention to the pan at all.
"You should recognise everyone. Marc will be coming too, of course." Brian held back the urge to ask what was going on there. Stefan had met this man maybe a month ago and already he'd been introduced to him several times. It was almost like Stefan wanted his approval of him, which usually meant only one thing.
Brian couldn't keep the cheeky grin off his face as Marc arrived before the other guests, kissing Stefan tenderly on the cheek in the hall where Brian wasn't supposed to have seen. So, they were an item. Or at least, they would be soon. He was happy for his friend. It had been a long time since he'd had someone special in his life and Brian knew he was always happiest when he had someone to be giving all his love to. Stefan had the biggest heart of anyone he'd ever known. It's what made him so proud to call him a friend.
Brian found himself deep in conversation with Marc, hardly aware that others had arrived or that Stefan was now setting the table. He found out that he met Stefan at the supermarket, of all places, and Brian wondered how that sort of thing happened. Whenever he went to the supermarket it was a stealth operation; in and out in record time was what he aimed for, and didn't have the time to bump into gorgeous Swedish men in the cleaning aisle. It had him wondering about all his lost opportunities. He thought about that a lot.
The two men left their spot on Stefan's balcony where they had been having a smoke and joined the rest of the guests in the living room as they heard Stefan calling them inside. Brian's chest tensed up as all eyes in the room followed his stride. He decided not to take a seat at the table just yet and walked straight on through to the kitchen where Stefan was beginning to serve.
"They're all staring at me," Brian whined, moving the last plate away and replacing it with an empty one for Stefan to fill.
"Well they haven't properly seen you since the '90s, Brian. You've changed quite a bit to their eyes." Brian didn't think so. Not really. They simply weren't looking hard enough. The doorbell rang and Brian groaned. Another one? Had Stefan not enough friends to judge him already in his home?
"Could you get the door? It must be Amelie," Stefan said, his attention hardly leaving his task.
"Amelie?" The genuine shock in Brian's voice made Stefan's head snap up. He’d had his suspicions back in the day as to their relationship... Brian's face wasn't giving anything away.
"You remember her?"
"I wasn't fucking dead through the '90s, Stefan. Of course I remember her. I'm just..." Brian didn't know how to finish his sentence. He was excited to see her. She was one of the only people in his past that he genuinely missed having around. She was a good thing lost and he'd realised all too late. But it had to be that way. They'd both had such huge ambitions in life. He recalled their late night conversations about their futures and the way things were going to be. But really, if he was being honest with himself, their drifting apart had little to do with the paths their futures were leading them down and more to do with the destruction that lie latent along Brian's path for all that dared to care about him. He hadn't wanted to ruin her, and he knew that he couldn’t help himself. She was different to the others.
"Brian!" Amelie leapt towards Brian the instant he'd opened the door to Stefan's apartment, wrapping her arms around him in a warm embrace. He held her in return, letting his head rest on her shoulder like he used to while her hands stroked the back of his neck and tangled in his hair. As she pulled away she tucked Brian's hair behind his ears, resting her palms against his cheeks for a moment.
"Look at you. You've hardly changed," she whispered. Brian's smile faded as he saw a tear trickle down her face.
"Hey... Are you alright?" He knew better than to ask such a dumb question, really, but nothing else came to mind.
"I'm fine. It's just... I never expected I'd see you again."
"Sorry to disappoint you," Brian joked, trying to lift her mood a little. A smile crept through onto her face.
"You never disappointed me."
Brian had been merely watching at first as Stefan raced around his kitchen to finish up preparing his mini-feast. He sometimes wished he'd learnt to be a better cook himself. He could do the basics but what was the point in putting in the effort if it was only yourself you were impressing?
"Brian, can you stir that pan for me?" Brian sighed before getting up and doing as he was asked, waiting for Stefan to turn his back before sneaking a taste. Not bad.
"So who's coming tonight, exactly?" Brian asked once Stefan had slowed down a little, taking the spoon from Brian as he realised he was hardly paying attention to the pan at all.
"You should recognise everyone. Marc will be coming too, of course." Brian held back the urge to ask what was going on there. Stefan had met this man maybe a month ago and already he'd been introduced to him several times. It was almost like Stefan wanted his approval of him, which usually meant only one thing.
Brian couldn't keep the cheeky grin off his face as Marc arrived before the other guests, kissing Stefan tenderly on the cheek in the hall where Brian wasn't supposed to have seen. So, they were an item. Or at least, they would be soon. He was happy for his friend. It had been a long time since he'd had someone special in his life and Brian knew he was always happiest when he had someone to be giving all his love to. Stefan had the biggest heart of anyone he'd ever known. It's what made him so proud to call him a friend.
Brian found himself deep in conversation with Marc, hardly aware that others had arrived or that Stefan was now setting the table. He found out that he met Stefan at the supermarket, of all places, and Brian wondered how that sort of thing happened. Whenever he went to the supermarket it was a stealth operation; in and out in record time was what he aimed for, and didn't have the time to bump into gorgeous Swedish men in the cleaning aisle. It had him wondering about all his lost opportunities. He thought about that a lot.
The two men left their spot on Stefan's balcony where they had been having a smoke and joined the rest of the guests in the living room as they heard Stefan calling them inside. Brian's chest tensed up as all eyes in the room followed his stride. He decided not to take a seat at the table just yet and walked straight on through to the kitchen where Stefan was beginning to serve.
"They're all staring at me," Brian whined, moving the last plate away and replacing it with an empty one for Stefan to fill.
"Well they haven't properly seen you since the '90s, Brian. You've changed quite a bit to their eyes." Brian didn't think so. Not really. They simply weren't looking hard enough. The doorbell rang and Brian groaned. Another one? Had Stefan not enough friends to judge him already in his home?
"Could you get the door? It must be Amelie," Stefan said, his attention hardly leaving his task.
"Amelie?" The genuine shock in Brian's voice made Stefan's head snap up. He’d had his suspicions back in the day as to their relationship... Brian's face wasn't giving anything away.
"You remember her?"
"I wasn't fucking dead through the '90s, Stefan. Of course I remember her. I'm just..." Brian didn't know how to finish his sentence. He was excited to see her. She was one of the only people in his past that he genuinely missed having around. She was a good thing lost and he'd realised all too late. But it had to be that way. They'd both had such huge ambitions in life. He recalled their late night conversations about their futures and the way things were going to be. But really, if he was being honest with himself, their drifting apart had little to do with the paths their futures were leading them down and more to do with the destruction that lie latent along Brian's path for all that dared to care about him. He hadn't wanted to ruin her, and he knew that he couldn’t help himself. She was different to the others.
"Brian!" Amelie leapt towards Brian the instant he'd opened the door to Stefan's apartment, wrapping her arms around him in a warm embrace. He held her in return, letting his head rest on her shoulder like he used to while her hands stroked the back of his neck and tangled in his hair. As she pulled away she tucked Brian's hair behind his ears, resting her palms against his cheeks for a moment.
"Look at you. You've hardly changed," she whispered. Brian's smile faded as he saw a tear trickle down her face.
"Hey... Are you alright?" He knew better than to ask such a dumb question, really, but nothing else came to mind.
"I'm fine. It's just... I never expected I'd see you again."
"Sorry to disappoint you," Brian joked, trying to lift her mood a little. A smile crept through onto her face.
"You never disappointed me."