Alone Together

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The pavement was still covered in blood and death still hung in the air. The smell on their clothes, the effect on their faces. Another pile of bodies was starting to form, the third pile Michonne and Val had made. The body of a middle-aged woman, with curly brown hair and wearing mostly black, was dumped on top of the others. Val looked around. Heavy panels were moved with haste, in an effort to make the rebuilding and expanding of the wall a task that didn’t take long to get done. The familiar noise of an old pickup truck got closer, signaling that the new pile of bodies was about to be collected.

Rick parked the truck and stepped out of it, observing the two women as they grabbed another walker by its arms and legs, before dragging it towards him and Daryl. The sky was mostly covered with clouds, protecting them from the unforgiving sun, but sweat was still clear in everyone’s clothes. Daryl grabbed the dead woman by the arms and waited for Rick to help him lift the body to the truck’s bed. Another body took her place.

“Val,” Rick suddenly called, making not only Val look at him, but also Daryl and Michonne. “How many walkers have you killed?”

Val frowned at the question, not really understanding the relevance of it. It was the look on Daryl’s face, however, that made her realize Rick wasn’t just making conversation. There was something in the way Daryl looked at her, waiting for her answer before moving on with his task, that had caused her to ponder her answer before opening her mouth.

“A lot. Hundreds probably.” Her eyes moved to the corpse between them, an arm and half a face missing from it.

“And how many people have you killed?” Rick already knew she had killed people, he had witnessed it not long ago, when they had been ambushed inside the RV. Part of him also told him, that if she had survived so long on her own and on the outside, then that hadn’t been her first kill.

“You know I’ve killed people. You saw it.” She addressed herself mainly to Rick, not oblivious to the way the other two pair of eyes looked at her. She wanted to cross her arms and assume the defensive posture she always assumed when someone asked a question she wasn’t comfortable with, but she didn’t.

The truth was that she no longer knew how many people she had killed. The harsher truth, was that she had killed even before the world had changed. Before killing had become a necessary part of life. Those deaths had changed who she was, but hadn’t stopped her from killing.

“How many?” Daryl’s question made her look at him, her tired green eyes boring into his, chapped lips pressed against each other as she worked on finding the right answer.

“Too many.”

Rick accepted her answer with the slightest nod of his head. “Why?”

“Why?” Val repeated, answering his question before Rick could confirm it. “So that I could live.” Her eyes moved from Rick’s, to Daryl’s and then to Michonne’s. “So that I could keep Max safe and so that Max could keep me safe.”
Val pulled off her boots just inside the front door and crept across the hardwood to the staircase. It was cold inside the house, remembering her that she’d only been living in there since that morning. The cut on her nose bridge itched, an awful reminder that the wound was starting to heal, and for the hundredth time that day she had to stop herself from scratching it. A series of knocks shattered the silence inside the house. Max perked his ears, but didn’t move from his position next to the stairs.

“Hi.” Val was greeted with a warm smile when she opened the front door. “I’m Carol, remember me?” Val only nodded, for the first time catching a good look at the woman in front of her. She was probably in her late forties or early fifties and wore the clothes of someone who clearly didn’t get her hands dirty, but her eyes told her otherwise. “I’m here to formally invite you for dinner, it’s -”

“Dinner?” Val interrupted her, looking over her shoulder and to the kitchen island where the basket full of food stood barely untouched. “We’ve got plenty of food, I can make dinner for myself.”

“I’m glad you can, but we just wanted to get to know you, you know? Me, Rick, Maggie and some others.” Carol’s hands grabbed at her pink cardigan, closing it tighter against her body. “It’s not like everyone’s going to be there, some are working on their shifts and other have guard duty, but you’re our newest member and we’re trying to welcome you the best we can.” The kind smile never left her face.

Val knew what that was really all about. If she had a place like Alexandria, and strangers appeared one day, she would have wanted to know as much as possible about them too. So she also knew there wasn’t a way she could refuse Carol’s offer without looking suspicious.

“Sure. What time do I arrive?” She couldn’t tell if Carol had noticed the hint of uneasiness in her voice, but if she did she hadn’t let it show.

“Oh, whenever you’re ready.” Carol almost laughed. “Take a shower, change your clothes, take your time. We’ll be waiting for you at Rick’s house.” She turned and climbed down the first pair of steps, before turning around with a smile still on her face. “Bring Max too.”
It was when she finally stopped, in front of the porch stairs, that Val finally realized how nervous she was. It reminded her of how nervous she used to feel on her first day of school as a kid, clammy palms and knots twisting in her stomach. She wasn’t exactly a shy person and she wasn’t afraid of these people either, but the feeling of not knowing what to expect from them and from the situation she had been put into was almost overwhelming.

She managed to knock on the white door and waited for someone to open it. When someone did, the smell of something, definitely meat, still cooking in the oven, immediately caught her attention. And it had caught Max’s too, the dog’s tongue immediately showing and his tail wagging excitedly. On the other side of the door, Carol smiled once again at her, no longer wearing her pink cardigan. Parts of a conversation could be heard, Rick’s voice standing out from the others.

They walked inside, following Carol to where the group of people sat. Glenn and Maggie were next to each other and with her backs facing them.

“We thought you might have chickened out and were not going to come.” Rick’s voice, directed to Val, had once again stood out from the others. There was a sort of humor in his statement, although his face didn’t show it. Glenn and Maggie quickly turned around, not having realized she had arrived.

The front door opened once again, and voices reached Val’s ears before she could see Michonne and Daryl stopping in front of them. The look on both their faces, more clear in Michonne’s then in Daryl’s, was enough to make Val realize that they did know about her presence.

Michonne forced herself to relax in Val’s presence. She still didn’t know enough about the brunette, but she had come to trust not only hers but other people’s instincts. Her family’s instincts. And Val seemed different, as if Alexandria had changed her the instant she had stepped into it, making her less threatening, and that was enough for Michonne. At least for now.

The table was set for eight, even though they were just seven. People started to find their seats and before she knew it, she had been seated down by Carol at one of the table’s end, facing Rick, who sat at the other end. She had to stop herself from grinning, knowing all too well the reason why she was facing their leader, but once people started to serve themselves, resuming their conversations, Val couldn’t help but be surprised.

For a moment it almost seemed like no one noticed she was there. She remained silent, watching the people that surrounded her without being too obvious, but nonetheless feeling overwhelmed. Dishes were passed over the table while random conversation circulated. She looked down at her plate, now full with the food Carol had served her. When was the last time she had used a fork and a knife? It seemed a lifetime ago. Dinner with family, friends. That was something she had once been used to, but that her brain had chosen to forget.

“Do you want some?” Val was brought back from her thoughts by Carol’s voice, aimed at the space between hers and Val’s chair, where Max sat. The dog’s nose was drinking in the smell that came from the piece of meat Carol held between her fingers, but his mouth didn’t make a move towards it.

“Go on,” Val finally spoke and the dog obeyed more than happily.

Carol met her with another warm smile, one that Val couldn’t return, no matter how hard she tried. Along with Daryl, Carol was one of the few people she’d been having a hard time reading so far. Rick was definitely the leader, strong and determined to defend the people he cared about, no matter what that meant and that made him a good person, unless you weren’t one of his people. Glenn was Maggie’s husband, devoted to her and the people that surrounded him, loyal and resourceful. Maggie had a good heart, she could see that perfectly, and Michonne was probably the one Val could relate the most to. But then there was Carol and Daryl.

“Was Max military too?” Rick asked, and all eyes fell on her. She nodded, knowing that by now everybody in Alexandria already knew she was a sergeant, well, used to be, as well as they all probably knew that they had come from Fort Benning and that they had been on their own ever since.

“So you used to work with dogs? Back in the army?” Maggie asked with genuine enthusiasm.

“No, I was in the airborne division.” Val pointed up towards the ceiling. “Paratrooper. Max wasn’t even mine.” She looked down at her glass, half filled with water, the hint of excitement in her voice quickly fading away. “He was just the only one I managed to save.”

“Oh…” Maggie bit her lip, quickly covering up with a smile. “Well, you have us now.”

Rick broke the awkward silence that had started to form, sharing with the table his plans about strengthening the walls, using defensive spikes and cars to block the dead and the living from reaching the gates so easily. It was just a matter of seconds, until everybody had gotten involved into the conversation, even Val, discussing ideas and ways of making the safe zone even safer.

Daryl watched the way Val talked and casually shared her ideas. She talked about accuracy of fire, attack positions and combat plan as if she had done all this before, as if she knew what it took to protect a place like Alexandria. Maybe she did.

She’d been going at this all wrong, Val realized as the dinner came to an end. Maybe thinking that she was better off alone was wrong. She couldn’t believe how stupid she had been. The resources spent, the personal conflicts… She knew that there was safety in numbers, but she had never really thought about the true potential of it. Of being in a community. It was just so clear for her now, this was her chance. Their chance. Of being normal again.
The thud of the door silenced the sound of the crickets outside. Rick looked at Val through the screen door for a second before turning around to meet the group with a look that wavered between doubt and trust. His hands took a rest on his belt, his eyes slowly landing on Daryl. “You hear her say something weird or do something that seems off -”

“Got it.”
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Sorry for taking so long to update, guys! The next few chapters will be a bit more slow paced, as they’ll focus on the time gap between episode 9 and 10 from season 6, I hope you enjoy them nonetheless.