I Heard You Were Kind of a Big Deal

"My dress is purple, by the way.  I expect you to match."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You know this is bullshit, right?"

"You're not very gracious when the whole world isn't watching, Patty."

"Shove it," Pat grumbled before shoveling some more French fries into his mouth.  He had decided that if Jackie was going to give him bad news, they were going to do it over food.  He might still be on top of his work out regime but he was always much more lax with his eating habits when he was home.  He could cook just fine but what was the point in coming home if he didn't indulge in all of his childhood favorites that you just can't get anywhere else?

"Seriously though, thank you.  I really didn't want to go by myself."

"Anything for my baby sister."

....

Julia: Are you ready for the big day??

Charli: Ready for it to be over? Yes! Ready to parade around dressed like a real girl in front of all of my cousins and uncles? No :( This is going to be hell.

Julia: Aw! You'll be fine. Just seduce one of the groomsmen ;) And tell Brandon I say hello xoxo

Charli: Ew. That is disgusting. You do know I’m related to all of them… And Olivia would totally kick your ass haha.

Charli: Oh shit! I have to go Bridezilla is coming!

“Charli, have you seen Frankie? No one can find him and he was supposed to be ushering guests to their seats like fifteen minutes ago!”

Charli wasn't even remotely surprised that Frankie was no where to be found.  Normally, he was either A) Already super drunk already B) Still asleep at home or in the limo from the ride over or C) Off banging one of the other bridesmaids behind the church.  There were other less likely options with Frankie but you never really knew.  Some times he really likes to throw a curve ball at you.  Because today was Garry's wedding, not one of the cousins who couldn't beat his ass, Charli was going to go with one of the less likely options.  "Have you seen my mother?  He might be with her.  She gets all worked up at these things."

Katherine's face instantly melted from her frustrated expression to something mixed between horror at the thought of a Mama Evans melt down and relief that it wasn't her dealing with it.  Charli could totally sympathize.  She'd been actively avoiding her mom since her arrival at the church sometime after the bridal party had started getting ready in one of the upstairs rooms.  There would be lots of tears and hugs and then more tears.  Frankie was the much more emotionally in touch of the two.  She was more than happy to let him deal with it.  She didn't do tears, especially other peoples. 

"Yeah, I'd just let him be.  Worry about it when we get closer to walking down the aisle."

The size of the whole bridal party was obnoxious.  Garry insisted on having all nine brothers and cousins stand up with him and then had Katherine's younger brothers shoved in there too.  Charli was pretty sure that the only reason that she was a bridesmaid at all was that Katherine had been scrounging for people to pair up with the ridiculous number of groomsmen.  As she walked down the aisle on the arm of Adam, Kath's youngest brother, she realized for the first time how large the wedding was in general.  Her mother's side of the family was just as large as her father's and they had all made the journey out from Boston.  The Evans side of the church was a total smattering of red and brown hair.  The Ford side, Kath's side, seemed even more full.  On top of having a relatively large family, Katherine also had a lot of family friends in attendance.  Her Maid of Honor could have been mistake for one of her sisters but they had really just grown up together; best friends from the womb born to two life long best friends.  Which meant that Jill, the maid of honor, had her whole family here too.  It seemed like there were about 500 people seated in the long pews, but that had to have been an exaggeration.  Right?  Yeah, definitely.

It felt weird being on display in front of all of these people.  Logically, she knew that no one was here to see her and all eyes would be on the bride when she started making her way down the aisle, but as heads turned and whispers hummed, she couldn't help get a little nervous on her own walk down the aisle.  As she'd gotten older, she'd gotten used to wearing heals but these five and a half inch sparkly gold spikes Katherine had picked out were on another level.  She had to admit that her legs did look great, but the pace that Adam was dragging her down the aisle was killing her.  Wasn't it supposed to be a slow march?  What the hell happened to that?  And she swore people were staring much longer than necessary.  Maybe it was the dress.  She didn't think any of these people had ever seen her in a dress.

Adam practically dragged her the whole way up the isle.  Maybe he didn't want to be up there just as much as her.  When she got to the head of the church, Garry caught her eye and stepped over to give her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Why are you so nervous?  I'm the one getting married, not you,” he whispered.

"I know.  I'm so happy for you, Garret.  You look great." And he really did in his light grey tux with his crisp white shirt.

He gave her one more squeeze and whispered "You look beautiful, Charlotte."

That was his only warning before shoving her, albeit fairly gently, toward her spot in the line up.  She'd just gotten settled when the music started, signaling everyone to stand and turn to watch Katherine come gliding down the aisle on the arms of her oldest brother and father.  Her dress was gorgeous.  Totally worth the shock value of keeping it a secret.  It was all creamy lace and beautiful draping.  The front extremely tasteful and the back almost completely missing except for the lace edges and collar that buttoned at the back of her neck. 

In that moment, Charli was so jealous.  Marriage had never been her thing, much like Garry and Katherine, but watching her almost sister-in-law walk down the aisle beaming, completely glowing with happiness because she was on her way to promise the rest of her  life to her very best friend, she decided maybe marriage wasn't so bad after all.  Even Kath's father looked like he was bursting at the seams.  Garret had always been a favorite of his so she could definitely believe that Mr. Ford was beyond happy that the two of them were finally making it official.  If the tears throughout the ceremony were any indication, she was right.

....

Patrick knew he was staring, but what were the odds?  From his seat at the back of the church, he'd really only gotten a glimpse of the girl as she was dragged up the isle by her groomsmen.  Now that they were at the reception hall and he had a much better view, he was sure.  That was definitely Charlotte the Ass.

....

Charli:  I think these kids were raised by animals... In fact, I know they were.  My cousins kids have tried to pull my top down or my skirt up at least 30 times.

Julia:  Hahaha only you. 

Julia: Their parents are just letting it happen?

Charli:  The guys think its funny and their moms are no where to be found.  Probably off binge drinking.

Julia:  I know I would be.  Those kids are terrorists.

A high pitched squeal pulled Charli from her phone conversation.  There was a group of giggling girls behind her in line for the bathroom.  Great.  As if the long-ass line wasn't bad enough.

"Did you see who's here?"

"Oh my god!  I totally did and I'm totally going to sleep with him!"

"No way.  He's here with his sister.  I heard she was a major bitch.  Ten bucks says she doesn't let anyone near him."

Now Charli was curious.  As she walked down the aisle, it had seemed like there were hundreds of people here and the more she mingled at the reception, the more she realized there were hundreds of people but she knew almost all of them.  Considering that most of them were her own family, it wasn't that surprising.  Who ever these girls were talking about, she probably knew them. Who, besides all of her brothers, had a bitchy sister?  More importantly, who had a bitchy sister and was worthy of girls arguing over who gets to sleep with them?  No one she was related to, that was for sure.

Julia:  Any prospects to take home to that tree house of yours?  That is still there, isn't it?

Charli: Haha yeah its still up there.  I haven't seen anyone worthy of the tree house but these girls behind me are going wild over someone.  Maybe I'll have to investigate.

Julia:  Ohhhh please do and be sure to report back. 

Charli locked her phone and listened in a little closer to the girls conversation but she didn't get much.  Just something about the guy being a hockey player and only being around for the summer.  That could have been half of the guys here.  None of whom were worth fighting over.

She was exiting the bathroom when she noticed a mop of curly blond hair that looked vaguely familiar bobbing around on the dance floor with one of Katherine's sisters friends.  She couldn't think of the girls name.  Something with a J maybe?  She was still squinting in that direction when Frankie walked up and draped a heavy arm across her shoulders.  It took her .2 seconds to realize that he was teetering very close to being 100% hammered. 

"What cha lookin at, Charles Darwin?"

"Oh!  That's a good one," she said smacking him in the stomach.  He spent more time than necessary coming up new names to call her.  Some times they were clever, most of the time they were not.  "Does that blond guy look familiar to you?"

"Which one?" He asked squinting in the same direction as Charli.  Apparently, they had both left their glasses at home. 

She pointed at the goober shuffling around with the brunette.

"Um, duh!"

She just stared up at him.

"That's Patrick Kane."

And she continued staring.

“You know like Patrick Kane. Showtime. That Patrick Kane."

She stared a little harder.

"Come on, Charli!  You really suck."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Franklin Templeton," she snapped.  As soon as she closed her mouth, a light bulb went off in her head.  "He's Chuckles!"

It was Frankie's turn to stare at her.

"You know, the guy from the plane!! How weird is that?"

"One day soon you're gunna feel really dumb about all of this.  He's kind of a big deal."

"Ha, whatever.  Lead the way to the bar, asshat!  If I'm gunna slay you on the dance floor I need shots!"

....

Even though Patrick didn't really know anyone, he was still having a good time.  He figured out very quickly why these people were important to Jackie and why she'd still want to come to the big day even though her shitty ex was part of the wedding party.  They loved her.  She seemed to know everyone and they immediately took to Pat just because Jackie was the one to introduce him. As if be default, he had to be great just because he was related to her.  Personally, he felt it was the other way around but he wasn't going to argue.

Her roommate, Alice, was siblings with both Adam the ex and Katherine the bride and wouldn't let Jacqueline back out of attending the wedding just because Adam was a douche.  Alice had persuaded her to bring her own plus one and somehow along the way Jackie decided that Pat would be the perfect party companion.  Where she got that idea was a complete mystery... Yup. Toooootal mystery.

"You know, you could just go talk to her," Jackie laughed as she plopped down in the seat next to him.  They had been tearing up the dance floor something serious but decided to take a time out for some drinks.

"Who?" Patrick played dumb. 

"That girl you've been creeping on all day, Garrett's sister," she said tilting her head in the direction Pat had been looking.  "Fair warning, she’s not going to fall for your bullshit though."

"What bullshit?"

Jackie laughed at the indignant tone in Patrick's voice but only raised an eyebrow in response.  Okay, so maybe she was right but he wasn't going to admit it.

"I do not bullshit.”

Jackie tilted her head a little to the side looking at him like he was an idiot.

“But for real, you know her?"

"I mean, I've met her once, or maybe twice, but it was like my freshmen year.  She was really nice.  I don't think she lives her though, because she's never around."

"Nah, she lives in Chicago."

"Ohhhhhkay, super creep!"

Patrick realized how weird that had have sounded pretty much as soon as the words came out of his mouth.  Stare a girl all day that no one knows that you've met and then drop personal facts about them.  Yeah, that was pretty stalkerish.  He quickly explained that he had sat next to her on his flight out here.  They had both been grumpy and asleep for most of the flight but kind of hit it off toward the end.  He was going to ask for her number when they were grabbing their bags but the abominable ginger foiled his plans.  He wrote her off as a cute girl he'd never see again and proceeded on with his plans for the day.  He never would have thought that less than a week later she was going to be traipsing around, all decked out in a sexy dress and obnoxiously high heels, at a wedding his sister had tricked him into attending.  And since when are bridesmaids dresses sexy, anyway?

They still had their heads together gossiping about the cute girl from the plane when someone sat themselves down in the seat to Pat’s right. He heard Jackie snicker as he turned to see the topic of their conversation sat beaming at him. He heard her Jack grumble something about going to the bathroom as she made a hasty retreat.

“Hey there, Chuckles.”

Patrick laughed. That had to be the worst nickname ever.

“Never thought I’d see you again, Charlotte the Ass. You clean up real nice”

“Ew, that’s definitely the worse nickname ever… and I’ve heard them all.”

He laughed again.

....

Charlotte wasn’t sure what had possessed her but after a handful of shots with her brothers and round of vigorous dancing, she decided it was time to see what the deal was with Chuckles. She knew that even though Frankie seemed to know who he was, that he wasn’t actually a family friend. She wanted to know how he ended up here of all of the places in the world. She thought he was just some decent dude she’d met on the plane and would most likely never see again. He hadn’t grumbled too much about her having to pee three times and had helped with her bags. On top of all of that, he was cute. So if he had asked for her number, she would have given it to him. A summer fling could have been fun. But, nope, he hadn't asked, which was also fine because a fling was all it would have been.

Any way, now she was just sitting here smiling at him like an idiot while he called her names. He'd fit right in with her brothers.

“Well, I’m glad we got to see each other again so that I could properly bestow it upon you," he said flashing her a goofy grin.

“Yeah, who would have thought that we’d run into each other again. That’s got to be a one in a million kind of thing.”