Unbroken

I awaken to a nice morning and a warm embrace that's full of love and protection as I look up and I see that Andy's already awake, his hand is merely resting against my back and he's rubbing gentle circles into my back, releasing the tension that I feel in my muscles. I then shift and look up at him and he smiles at me, keeping me in a tender hold. We've finally come home from the show in New York and we've just spent the last day or so close to one another.

"Good morning, my love." Andy murmurs. I rest my arms around Andy's neck and I peck his lips as his hands lay on my waist.

"Good morning, my Moonlight," I whisper and he kisses my forehead before squeezing me gently to him.

"So, I have a surprise for you, love." I raise my eyebrow at him and he smirks, kissing my temple. "You've heard most of the songs off The Shadow Side. Except for one. I told you I wrote a song about you and how much our relationship means to me. And now, you finally get to hear it. It's called Paint It Black."

I, having no words to say, feel my heart begin to melt and he smiles against my hair. He's gonna play the song for me. My heart starts to flutter and beat fast. I then hear him play the song and I hear the voice that I fell in love with years ago come through.

Paint It Black is a beautiful song and it brings tears to my eyes because I know that I mean so much to him and that our relationship means so much to him and he's always told me that I mean the world to him and with this song he wrote, this is validation that it's all true. And as the song concludes, I'm speechless and breathless because I'm so happy and so in love with him and the fact that he's been such a great father figure to Blayde, means so much to me.

"Moonlight..." Is all I can say as the tears start to fall, a mere gasp as I hug him tightly and he holds me to him.

"I know that you and I don't always see eye to eye sometimes, Faith," Andy says, his voice softening as his hand cups my face and his thumb catches my tears and wipes them away. "But I want you to know- You're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't saved you and fell in love with you. I love you. I love you so much, it's hard to even express how much I love you, Lacey. I helped you heal from a bad past of abuse and neglect. I watched you become so strong and so fearless. You used to be so afraid of the world around you and now you welcome it with open arms. You embrace the outcome of it, no matter what it may be. I love that I bring so much happiness and strength in your life. Even when you struggle, I've always caught you and gave you the love and peace that you need to get back up on your feet and heal. You and I, we will always keep fighting this battle, side by side together."

In that moment, I swore I could feel my heart melting into a pool of need and it took my breath away. I had to catch my breath again.

"How did I become so worthy of being in love with someone like you?" I begin, as my arm lays behind Andy's neck and his hand moves to my waist. "I used to believe that love was a masquerade because Blaze used it to lure me in and he'd abused me with it. Not until I met you, Light. You showed me that love's not a masquerade." Andy goes to speak but I silence him by putting my finger on his soft lips."You fixed me, Andy. You saw past my scars and my insecurities when most people would shy away after the first encounter and you gave them love and stayed by my side to work through them with me. You fixed that wound as if it was your own to begin with."

Andy gently moves my hand away, but he kisses the back of it as he does so and rubs his thumb over my knuckles.

"The only reason for that is because you were guided down the wrong path," Andy murmurs. "I'm guiding you down a path that shows that everyone deserves true, authentic love with no strings attached, no matter what the person's past consists of or what baggage they may carry."

That did it. I melted completely into Andy's hold and he chuckles, kissing my forehead softly.

"When you say that I meant the world to you," I whisper. "I used to think that that wasn't important and now that you've written Paint It Black for me, I see how much I mean to you now."

"And don't you ever forget it," Andy says, stroking my hair gently with his fingertips. "Even when we're old and gray, you'll always be my everything, Lacey."

"I won't ever forget it," I say. "Because, you are my savior. You always have been and always will be."

Andy's thumb lifts my chin up so our eyes meet one another's and I can see all of the love in his eyes as he kisses me, tenderly and softly and I wrap my arms around him completely, my hand resting in his black hair and my other hand on his shoulder. He deepens the kiss that we share for a few moments before moving so he's on his side and can hold me better that way. We break apart and he rests his forehead against mine, and his eyes close against me. I then move and I rest my head on his chest again and his arms encircle me in a perfect way, as they've always have been.

After a while, I have to get up so I can get the day started but when I try to do so, Andy keeps his arms around me.

"Don't get up yet, baby," Andy whispers, against my hair. I look at him with a questionable look and he just moves my hair behind my ear and he brushes his thumb across my cheek.

"Why won't you let me get up, Light?" I ask.

"Because this is perfect," Andy tells me, his finger moving down my jawline and I rest my cheek against his palm. "All I want is to physically hold my soulmate in my arms and I want to cherish this last day with you before I leave. Because God knows when I'll be able to do this again for the next few weeks."

That's right, Andy leaves to start the UK branch of his Homecoming Tour tomorrow and then he'll be back in the US in a few weeks and I understand why he just wants to cuddle with me and hold me in his arms. Because he knows he's gonna miss me while he's on the road and I know, even though he's doing what he loves to do, I feel the familiar sting inside of my heart every time Andy goes away and goes on tour, it's not as painful as it used to be when we first got together, it's more of a dull ache in my chest.

"Is that why you gave me Paint It Black today?" I say as I rest in his arms again. "So I wouldn't feel so lonely when you're gone on tour?"

"Yeah, honey," Andy says, as he looks at me and he could see a slight sadness in my eyes because of the dull ache in my chest. "I want you to hold onto Paint It Black. For those nights when you're lonely when I'm away on tour and you miss me. This way, I'll always be with you. I may not be able to physically take the bad dreams away like I do when I'm home and I keep you close like this, but I thought that this would bring a great deal of comfort for you even when you sleep in my clothing can't. And if the dreams get to be too much, then you know I'll always be here for you. I'll always be there to listen and be your rock, sweetheart."

Even with the dull ache in my chest, I can't help but feel my heart melt again and my smile brightens at the affectionate gesture he made for me and I rest in his arms, my head laying on the dragon tattoo on his chest. We snuggle close to one another for a while before I finally decide to get up and get the day started.

Since it's Andy's last day until he comes home in a few weeks, I just stay close to him today. Even though Andy is happy and has been affectionate toward me, I could tell that he's a bit saddened too because he knows that he's gonna miss me when he leaves tomorrow morning. As I'm cuddled up close to Andy, I notice that he has a new tattoo on his collarbone, and it has the words Never regret yesterday, life is in you today and you make your tomorrow. It made me smile because it was so inspiring and it fits him so well. I then just brush my lips against that tattoo and Andy looks down at me, before smiling and holding me closer to him.

We watch movies and I make him a proper meal and he does some last minute packing before he leaves for his flight tomorrow morning.

As we lay in bed that night, I can't help but feel the sense of separation in the air, I take a deep breath and I start crying as I lay there because I know he'll be gone in the morning.

Andy hears me crying and he just takes me into his arms and he lets me cry while rubbing my back and leaving kisses on my head and on my face.

"Shh, Faith," Andy whispers against my skin. "It's okay. It's okay. We still have a few more hours left. I'm not leaving just yet."

He continues his trail of kisses down my jawline and my neck as I sob.

"I'm sorry, Light." I sniffle and he shakes his head and kisses my forehead.

"Don't be," He murmurs against me. "I'm gonna miss you just as much as I know you're gonna miss me."

"It just hurts," I say. Andy moves my hair from my face and he moves so our foreheads touch each other.

"I know, baby. But it's not the end of the world," He tells me as his hand rubs my shoulder. "It's only temporary, I know it's painful but whenever we come home to each other makes it all worth it. You know that."

I take a breath, knowing that he's right and I nod my head. Andy kisses away the last remainder of my tears and after reassuring me with more loving whispers and kisses, I settle back to sleep in his arms.

The next morning, we get up early so Andy can get ready to leave. Even though I'm sad, I try to make the most of it and I make him and Blayde breakfast. After breakfast, I then take a glance at the clock and I see that there's only an hour left until he leaves.

Before I knew it, Andy's pulling on my hand. I look up at him and I raise a brow.

"Come on," Andy says. "We're not gonna spend this last hour together being sad."

I then let him lead me to the couch in the living room and he turns on Netflix and we end up snuggling together.

The last hour passes and we hear Andy's tour bus honk and I just feel hesitant to let go of him because my arms almost tighten around him and Andy looks at me, his eyes are sad but he helps me up and he gets up too.

"Faith," He says, softly. Telling me to let my grip on him go. I sigh and slowly move my arms away from his neck.

"Sorry, Moonlight," I mumble. Andy just chuckles and he takes my hands in his. I just avert my eyes away from his and he takes a breath. He lifts my chin up with his fingers and my sad gray eyes meet his warm but sad ice blue ones.

"Hey. Look at me, love," Andy murmurs as I do. "I'll be back home soon. I promise. So, don't be sad, honey. Everything's gonna be okay again as much as it hurts. And don't forget, you're coming to the last few shows. But for now, I left Paint It Black with you and I will always be a phone call away if you ever need me. Okay?"

Hearing his reassurance, I nod as I smile a little bit and he kisses my head and moves down to my nose and he rubs his against mine and I can't help but giggle at him before he tenderly kisses my lips.

"I love you, Faith," Andy whispers. "Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too, Light," I tell him as I peck his lips again. "Blayde, come say goodbye to your father."

Andy then kneels down as Blayde walks up and she hugs him.

"Bye-bye, daddy." Blayde says and Andy kisses her forehead and strokes her hair.

"Goodbye, my little angel," Andy says. "Take good care of your mother for me."

She nods as Andy gets up and I then hear a honk and Andy grabs his bags before kissing me one more time, a kiss goodbye for now but also a kiss that is a reminder of 'I'll be back home again before you know it.' Andy then heads outside and I follow him outside. He then turns and embraces me one more time.

"I'll call you as soon as I can," Andy murmurs. "I love you, baby. See you soon."

"Bye, Light." I say as the bus door opens and he heads inside and they take off. I then take a breath and I walk back inside the house.

~A Week Later~

I've been curled up on the couch and watching V for Vendetta while eating some food that I got from a local Italian place down the street from our house and I'm dressed in Andy's clothing while Crow, Phantom, and Willow lounged, Phantom laying in my lap. The house has felt empty since Andy has left on tour promoting Andy Black. The nightmares have been bothering me to a certain extent, but when I play 'Paint It Black' at night, it makes me feel better because I feel like Andy's in the room with me and his voice keeps them away. As I do my normal social media checks, I see that Andy has posted a photo on Instagram, from the day we got married. My heart melts and swells as I read his post-

andyblack: It's not quite Thursday yet but I wanted to do my throwback photo to our wedding day on October 31st, 2013 and say something the woman that I love so much. As I tour for the first time with my new project, I have come to realize how much my worldview and the way I feel in general has been shaped for the better by my amazing wife and my Faith... How so much of the man that I am today is due to her patience, understanding and love. I am a better person because of thelaceyblackburn and it makes my heart swell to know that I get to spend the rest of my days with her. When I was a little kid, my only dream was to be a rockstar and travel the world and thanks to all of you, I have been lucky enough to do that for my entire adult life thus far.. Now at 25 years old, the thrill of being on stage and making records is still very much alive, but now I have another dream. And that is to be a good husband, friend, and partner to my soul mate and to be a great father figure to Blayde.

I feel tears fall down my face because I miss Andy so much and his beautiful way of speaking always makes my heart soar and melt. I wiped away my tears and I went to comment on the photo he posted.

thelaceyblackburn: The Moonlight of my life. I miss you so much, Moonlight. You made my heart soar and I can't wait for you to get home to us.

I then dig through my phone to find one of my favorite photos of me and Andy, which is of me and him kissing and dancing at the masquerade party that I threw for his twenty-fourth birthday. Kat took this photo and sent it to me and it makes me smile every time I see it and I decided to post it on my Instagram.

thelaceyblackburn: I used to believe that love was a masquerade because of my past, and I stood by that until the day I met, fell in love with and married my Moonlight, andyblack and ever since then, he's given me a love that has been authentic and doesn't have a single thing holding it back. He fixed what has broken inside of me years ago and he repaired the wound on his own like it was his to begin with. He made sure that no matter what darkness I had in my life, that he would always be there to make it right and to guide me in the right direction and he would always be by my side, no matter how many times I wanted to force him away. I could never ask for a more loving and wonderful husband and a father to my daughter more than he has been. He's my Moonlight and I'm his Faith. And we will always be Faith and Moonlight, until our final breath on this earth. And here's a throwback to the masquerade party I planned for him on his twenty-fourth birthday. I miss him a lot, but I hope he's having a fantastic tour, doing what he loves. (Photo by thekatvond)

I then see that Andy's left a comment on my photo that I posted after I put my phone down and I went back to my movie and dinner.

andyblack: God, I wish I could hold you and kiss you right now. I miss you so much, Lacey and I love you with all of my heart, sweetheart. I can't wait to come home to you soon, honey.

I smile and I just reply with a couple of emojis and I set my phone down again and as I focus on the screen and on V, I then hear my phone ring and it's Andy calling. I then pick my phone up and I answer.

"Hey, Light," I say.

"Hey, beautiful," Andy says, his voice making me shiver. "I saw your post on Insta earlier. God, I miss you so much. I wish I could hold you in my arms right now."

"I miss you too, Light." I murmur. "This house feels so lonely without you here."

"I really wish I stayed home with you," Andy tells me. "I'd rather be with you than to be here right now."

Hearing him say that makes the dull ache in my chest start to hurt me more, and tears fill up my eyes and fall down my face. It's only been a week since he left and I already miss him. I've become so used to it before, and now it feels like the first time we had to be away from each other due to him touring.

"Moonlight, you're being selfish," I say. "I know you want to come home and I want you home with me, but try to stay focused on the fans and doing what you do best. It'll be gone and passed before you know it."

"It's not selfish if I'm missing the girl that I love dearly," Andy takes a breath and I could hear so sad and longing that breath is. "But, you're right. I'll get to see you in a few weeks and that's what really matters."

"I'm always right," I say and Andy chuckles at me and I giggle softly.

"I know I'm not there to keep your nightmares away, as I always do," Andy asks. "But have you been sleeping okay, love?"

"It's off and on," I tell him. "They do bother me here and there. But ever since you gave me Paint It Black, they've kept a distance."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that." Andy murmurs. "Listen. I'll talk to you soon, okay? I love you, Lacey. So much."

"Okay. I love you too, Andy." I whisper and the call ends and I sink back under the blankets and into the couch and settle as I finish my food and watch my movie. It's going to be a hard few weeks, but when Andy comes home, everything will be back in its place and everything will be okay again.