Chrome Visions

A/N: I've been getting into these mega arguments online with some people who say that Blink 182 sucks. Apparently, because this band isn't punk (and who in their right mind would want to be punk?) enough, that must mean it's the worst trash in the world. No, you see, Blink 182 changed my life. They aren't as important as Green Day, who saved my life, but it's pretty close in importance. They inspired me to play guitar because "Dumpweed" and "Emo" were the first songs I had ever wanted to learn. They taught me that pop-punk and emo were the best kinds of music out there because it always understood how you felt, even if you had gotten a black-eye from some asshat at school who really didn't like you for doing a report on how Gerard Way is a personal hero of yours. The only bad thing about Blink 182 is that they sometimes listen to old-school punk, but everyone has their flaws. I mean, really, how could they like a band called Minor Threat? If you're only a minor threat, then how could anyone possibly be scared of you? Alright, on with the next chapter. Stay (Arm)strong!

Another boring week had passed at the Black House. I, Heather Heartless, had spent the majority of the time doing paperwork with congress supervising me so that I would actually do it and not run off skateboarding (yawn!), deciding what new addition the Black House needed with all of the tax money I had received (I already had a personal venue for impromptu Green Day concerts, my own private movie theater, an emo-tastic skatepark and a time machine. What more could a girl want?) and yelling at Tre to please stop fucking sleeping in the washing machine, god, this was like the third time this month! After getting back from the time of Jesus, in which, the poor bastard still ended up crucified, Billie Joe had been ignoring me. And, life wasn't any fun without my favorite-best-friend-who-sang-songs-that-could-make-angels-cry. Maybe, it was because he confessed his love for me, or maybe he was constipated. I didn't know, and he wasn't around for me to ask him. Either, way, I, felt bored and alone, and I needed something to distract me.

So, I spent time at my super ginormous personal library, where read Harry Potter books for days on end. Theadventures of the boy wizard stimulated my mind, although I really wanted to kill Herminone for being such a know-it-all bitch. No wonder why Ron and Harry ignored her, I would've stuck a soddering iron up her ear and laughed as it melted her brain! And her hair is disgusting! Who lets it get that frizzy? But, it didn't matter, I really wanted to go to Hogwarts and be sorted into Ravenclaw so I could make-out with Luna Lovegood. She was like a Pandora 2.0! We would run away, join the magical circus, and people would think we were siamese twins because of how intangled in each other we would be. We would sing songs with a ukele like Hayley Williams did in her latest album, and everyone would adorn us with flowers and all of the band merchandise we could want. My brain just outright jiggled at the idea. But, noooo, I had to be stuck at the boring old Black House as the dumb president. But, as you know, I always have a plan. I was going to travel through the muilti-verse and go to Hogwarts! Then, I could introduce the sweet, sensible poetry of emo to it's residents and convince them to join my crusade to turn the entire universe into an emo factory. Soon, they would worship bands like Green Day, All Time Low, Candy Hearts, and Hey Monday just like my nation does. I will bring order to the chaos of diversity. What this universe needs is unity!

Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre were rehearsing for my private show tonight in the auditorium. They looked absolutely exhausted, but they knew if they didn't play tonight, I would probably shoot them with my AK-52. Yes, I have guns, and they have X-ed out hearts on them with cute skulls. Even the prez has to be a bad-ass sometimes. Mike wiped the sweat off his brow with a dirty napkin. Looks like someone has been eating too much burger king. Tre had mustard stains on his face. He grinned at me guiltily. "What the fuck do you want, Heather?" Mike snapped. Oh, how I longed to snap his neck. Maybe I could convince Tom Delonge, revered singer of Blink 182 to join so I could finally fucking kill Mike for being such fucking asshole and always hating me! I smirked back, and tossed a Harry Potter book at him. The band looked confused. Well, genius of the few is lost on the many.

"I hate Harry Potter" Mike spat and started stomping on the book. Tre looked scared, and buried his face into Billie Joe's neck. Billie Joe didn't react at all. "No, no, you idiot. You probably don't even know how to read! We're going to travel to the Harry Potter universe. My scientists discovered how." I stated, proud of my brilliant idea. The entire band groaned.

"Last time we traveled anywhere, I got crucified." Mike shouted.

"I went on a rampage and killed a bunch of juggalos. Do you really want a repeat of that?" Billie Joe asked in a monotone voice.

"I died and marshmallows poured out of my ears!" Tre wailed helplessly while clinging to the irate Mike. I sighed in annoyance. Looks like I'll have to do things the old-fashioned way. I took out a heart-shaped handgrenade from my purse and showed it to them. They didn't look to surprised since I usually have to coerce them with violence to get them to do anything.

"Alright, you know the drill, into the tour bus before I blow up the whole Black House..." I snarled. With looks of pure defeat, the band began to march to the good ol' Green Day tour bus. Mike kept shooting me looks of pure hatred as we walked. When everyone was loaded inside, I messed with a few buttons on the dashboard and activated the flex cpaticator. I was finally going to be a wizard! The van traversed past some black holes, stars and some swirly things before we landed right in front of an old decrepit castle.

"You do realize that NONE OF US HAVE ANY FUCKING MAGICAL ABILITY, RIGHT, HEATHER?!!" Mike shouted, his face turning the color of my red eye shadow. Of course, I knew that, I wasn't stupid. But, you see, I traveled back in time for the annual end of term dance. Green Day was going to break some hearts tonight and gain a lot of new fans. I started pulling gear out of the back of the van.

"Duh, Mike. But, we do have musical talent and I never get to be back-up vocalist, so Green Day is going to win over these lovely magic people." I said, as I started hauling gear to the door. Albus Dumbeldore and Mcgonallgal were there to greet us with warm smiles. "Ah, are you the band who is playing here tonight for the end of term feast?" Dumbeldore asked with twinkle in his eyes. I was shocked, how did he know? He noticed the look of shock on my face and showed me his pearly teeth. "Divinination is good for some things." He said. They led us through winding corridors, stuffed to the brim with ghosts. Another spectre had joined the ranks and was being given his death day party. Tre started howling out of fear of the ghosts until Mike bopped him on the head with a drum to make him shut up.

"So, where are you and your band from? I don't recall ever having you four as students." Mcgonnalgal (I still don't know how to spell her name, sorry DX) asked politely. Luckily, I already had an answer in mind.

"We're from the realm of Narnia." I stated. The teacher nodded.

"Ah, of course, many travelers visit from there. Actually, we are hosting Aslan as a teacher here, for a semester, We know that our students are quite wary of animals with magical powers after Sirius Black got loose, so we thought that having Alsan here would disperse the fear. And Hagrid enjoys trimming his long mane." She finished with a chuckle. Oh, shit, if Alsan was here, he might snitch on us and tell them that I really don't have magical powers. But, it was too late, we were already in the great hall.

The great hall looked magnificent. It was decked out with disco-balls that shown a million rays of tiny rainbow lights, glow-sticks were around most of the students necks, and the ghost of Nicholas Flammel was the DJ. Everyone looked so happy that they were officially out of the school for the summer. I tried to spot all of my favorite characters. Snape was running the buffet, and looking dreadfully unhappy about it. Someone had forced a fun party hat on his head, and he looked like he had purposely gotten tipsy before joining the event. Harry was showing off some cool new moves on a broomstick in the middle of the room and had everyone cheering for him. He had a dangerous look in his pretty green eyes that almost made me swoon. He swooped down suddenly and picked me up with his broomstick. The entire crowd gasped. I quickly grabbed hold of his soft robes, almost shivering at the touch. He had shaggy black hair that covered one of his eyes like the lead singer of 5SOS, and the lack of sleep he had made it look like he was wearing eyeliner. I kept myself from drooling.

"Well, hello there. You look new." He murmured in a velvelty voice. It was starting to get a lil wet below, until I remembered that I was here to makeout with girls, not cute boys like Harry. Beside, we could never be a couple with the fact that he needed to focus on vanquishing Voldemort. Luna Lovegood needed my tongue down her throat before the night ended.

"I'm here with the band. It's Green Day and once your ears hear them, you will never forget em'" I said, faking a could-care-less voice. Harry looked dismayed that I wasn't turned on by his charms, but it was for the best. He took me for a ride around the room first though, in case I had second thoughts. Herminone was sobbing in the corner, with her face stuck in a book. It looked like she had no friends, and for that, I was glad. Maybe there was a god after all. Malfoy and Ron were doing bodyshots, and Nelville was drunk enough to dance correctly. But, I was getting bored so I hopped off the broom and Green Day and I took to the stage. The crowd started cheering profusely as Billie Joe and I grabbed the microphones. That's when I saw her, Luna Lovegood, and she looked positively radiant. She was wearing a crop top that said "Cool Story, Bro" on it, ripped leather pants and low-top purple converse. Her bleached hair was damp against her shoulder from dancing so much. When she finally noticed me staring, she smiled.

"Hey, are we going to play or not, Heather?!" Mike snapped in my ear. I shot him an evil look back and the band began to play "American Idiot", a classic. We had soon had the crowd dancing erratically and stage-diving, but I was too focused on Luna. I tapped my foot impatiently and stopped the song. Mike and Billie Joe looked infuriated. I grabbed my mike with sneer that could topple towers and the began to play "She's Kinda Hot" by 5SOS.

"My girlfriend’s bitchin’ 'cause I always sleep in
She’s always screamin’ when she’s calling her friend
She’s kinda hot though
Yeah, she’s kinda hot though
(Just an itty bitty little bit hot)"

I sang with true power, and watched as the crowd was entranced by my words. Billie Joe looked kind of jealous for some reason.

"My shrink is telling me I got crazy dreams
She’s also saying I got low self-esteem
She’s kinda hot though
Yeah, she’s kinda hot though
(Just a little bit a little bit hot)
She put me on meds, she won’t get out of my head
She’s kinda hot though
(One, two, three, go!)"

I had a blue spotlight shown on Luna. She topped dancing and looked at me with a mesmirized look in her beautiful eyes. Some of the other girls huffed in annoyance. Sorry, ladies, but you're going to have to take a number.

"My newest lady is a number ten
I've been up all night praying someone like her since I don't know when
She's really hot though
Yeah, she's really hot though"

Luna blushed deeply and looked away. I beckoned her forward, and she walked to me as if she was floating on air. Her soft hand grasped mine as I pulled her on stage and finished the song. Then, I grabbed Luna, twirled her and kissed her. The entire crowd eruped in applause. I felt like the motherfucking queen of the pop-punk scene until Mike rudely tapped me on the shoulder. I spun around and glared at him. There was a break in the applause and an awkward silence filled the room.

"HEATHER, YOU CAN'T JUST STOP A FUCKING SONG SO YOU CAN MAKE OUT WITH SOME RANDOM BITCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!" Mike shouted. Finally, I had enough of Mike and his monstrously bad attitude. I pulled a wand out of Luna's pocket and pointed it at him.

"Oh, yes I can, Mike. AVADA KAVARDA!" I shouted back. A green light shot out of the wand, hitting him square in the chest. He crumpled to the floor, his eyes no longer seeing. Hmm, maybe I do have magical ability after all, Tre started wailing at the top of his lungs, and began to rip out his hair. Billie Joe ran off in search of booze. The entire crowd started screaming and running, trampling each otehr in the process. Blood began to coat the floor. I wasn't sure if I should be disappointed in myself or proud. The teachers tried desperately to regain control of the situation, but to no avail.

That's when I heard a roar. Aslan flew through the room on a broomstick built just for him, and landed on the stage. I stroked his fur lovingly. He gazed at me with sad eyes. "This world isn't ready for someone of your caliber just yet." He said with wisdom beyond my years. Maybe he was right. I hopped on his back and we rode into the sea of time.

Suddenly, I was back in the Black House with Billie Joe and Tre as if nothing had ever happened. Aslan was gone, and Mike wasn't there, which was an extremely good thing. But, when I asked Billie Joe and Tre how they enjoyed Hogwarts, they gave me a strange look.

"Do you miss Mike, Tre?" I asked softly. Tre looked at me with a demonic grin on his face.

"Who's Mike????" He asked while flailing his arms around. Billie Joe asked me if I was on crack. That's when I realized it. There must have been a time paradox and I was in a universe where Mike never existed. What a relief! Billie Joe pulled out his guitar and started weirdly playing a country song.

"Play a Green Day song" I commanded. He gave me a weird look.

"Green Day was broken up before you were born"

All of the color drained from my face. Oh no...